Absolutely all my patients of all ages, from ASA1 to ASA5 hear the spiel about death, even children. In pediatric cases I make sure parents and children hear it.
My formula is, "Anesthetics, like everything in medicine, have risks and complications, which may be very minor or very major, including death. However, they are extremely rare and we take lots of precautions. Is there anything you want me to explain in more detail?"
Some people ask questions, but the majority don't. They say, "You already told me more than I want to know."
Some people respond, "I don't like the one about death," to which I counter, "I don't either, please don't do that on my watch," and go on to compare it to a car accident, where you know you can die or become paralyzed from it any time you are in a car, but still drive and take passengers with you.
Very few people have objected, "Nobody ever told me this much; why do you scare me like that? Am I a greater risk than usual?" If they are a greater risk than usual, I explain why they are a greater risk, and if not, I go back to the car analogy. In the end they are all satisfied.
I started doing this many years ago, after a lawyer lecturing at a pediatric meeting told us, "Please do yourself and us a favor and tell all the parents that their child may die."