Letter Write Ethics

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

doomknight

Bing
10+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
501
Reaction score
1
Points
4,531
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
OK so I am waiting on 3 letter writers to finish writing my letter. Would it be okay if I buy them like some coffee or beer or lunch or something on the day that they were supposed to have it done (ie agreed to have it done by July 10th), even though I know they wouldn't have it done that day. Maybe this could be a good way to remind them without being too direct?

what you guys think?

and no I'm not trying to buy them off. I did the same for the two letters that finished weeks ago, bought them coffee and chatted with them to thank them after they sent interfolio my letter.
 
i think its a nice gesture. i plan on buying the doctor i shadowed a small gift and drop it off at his office with a thank you note (he was by far the busiest person i've ever met, and he took time out of his schedule to write me one, so im appreciative)

again, like you said, dont make it seem as though your buying him/her off. do your best to make sure he/she knows its just a thank you.
 
ok. The only thing that's holding me back is I don't want them to get offended that I bought them stuff before they submitted letter. But I'm guessing stuff like coffee/beer are consumables and should be okay.
 
ok. The only thing that's holding me back is I don't want them to get offended that I bought them stuff before they submitted letter. But I'm guessing stuff like coffee/beer are consumables and should be okay.

That seems a little weird to me. Most of my letter writers are profs with real jobs and thus a heck of a lot more disposable income than I have. Sometimes they buy me coffee but the other way around would just be silly. A thank you gift on the other hand is different because it is a gesture that shows your appreciation and you have to put some thought into it. I think a better idea would be to email them and remind them of the approaching dead line.
 
I really much rather go to their offices in person though, chat for a few mins, diss OSU with them, talk about UMich's new football program etc, they'll have more chance to get to know me better. So when I go in I figured it might be nice to bring some coffee for them.
 
That seems a little weird to me. Most of my letter writers are profs with real jobs and thus a heck of a lot more disposable income than I have. Sometimes they buy me coffee but the other way around would just be silly. A thank you gift on the other hand is different because it is a gesture that shows your appreciation and you have to put some thought into it. I think a better idea would be to email them and remind them of the approaching dead line.

on second thought, totally agree. the beer/coffee is kinda weird..i wouldn't do that for my writers. i did, on the other hand, send reminder emails to check the "status" or "progress" of the letters they were writing, which worked since they replied that they sent it out days later. then after that, send or give them in person a thank you gift.
 
OK so I am waiting on 3 letter writers to finish writing my letter. Would it be okay if I buy them like some coffee or beer or lunch or something on the day that they were supposed to have it done (ie agreed to have it done by July 10th), even though I know they wouldn't have it done that day. Maybe this could be a good way to remind them without being too direct?

what you guys think?

and no I'm not trying to buy them off. I did the same for the two letters that finished weeks ago, bought them coffee and chatted with them to thank them after they sent interfolio my letter.

Just stop by or e-mail on the day before the letter was "due" and say you are "following up" on the status of the letter. Assure them you understand they are busy, thank them again for being willing to give you a recommendation and then let them know what your timeline is (ie "I hope to have my primary application, including LOR, complete by July 17th at the latest" or whatever).

When the letters are finished and submitted, be sure to write each individual a short hand-written thank you note.

I wouldn't buy them anything. I did send flowers to my undergrad's premed advisor when I received my first acceptance, but I had been out of school for 3 years and she had been enormously helpful. I think polite reminders before letters are handed in and thank you notes after letters are handed in are generally the way to go.
 
Just stop by or e-mail on the day before the letter was "due" and say you are "following up" on the status of the letter. Assure them you understand they are busy, thank them again for being willing to give you a recommendation and then let them know what your timeline is (ie "I hope to have my primary application, including LOR, complete by July 17th at the latest" or whatever).

When the letters are finished and submitted, be sure to write each individual a short hand-written thank you note.

I started my emails a bit earlier to remind them. But I had already told them in my cover letter that I would start reminding them two weeks before the due date and they all appreciated that because I was recognizing that they are busy and might just forget.

A nice handwritten thank you note (get some nice, but rather inexpensive thank you cards) is always the way to go. That way you will be prepared for writing thank you notes to your interviewers.
 
Top Bottom