LGBTQ+ Questions

[929826]

Hey all,

I want some perspectives on this. I am working through my secondaries and in the process, I have been thinking about what makes me diverse. What I am about to talk about is not the only thing I have, so it can definitely be left out.

Long story short, I'm super gay but I'm not out to my family. There are people in my life who know, and they are not like sworn to secrecy, but I don't really bring friends or SOs around my family for personal reasons. If I was asked directly by my mother or something, I like to think I would be honest about it, but maybe not. I'm a really private person, and I don't talk about personal stuff with my parents. I'm not going to say I'm in the closet (I really hate that phrase), but I wouldn't say I go around sharing my sexuality with everyone I meet. Most people assume I'm straight because I guess I present as super hetero and I don't go out of my way to bring it up. Make sense?

Anyway, a part of me wants to talk about this in my essays. My concerns are a few fold:

1. The internal biases of adcoms
2. I definitely have an interest in working with LGBTQ patients, and have done volunteer work in the past. But it feels weird/wrong to write about it if my parents don't know?
3. Having a record of my sexuality in this political climate sort of worries me a bit, and yes I know I'm paranoid

Thanks

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[shapley]

My parents don't acknowledge it at all and act like they don't know and I keep most of my life separate from them, but it was a huge reason and motivator for me and why I wanted to go into medicine so I wrote about it.

You have to do what feels most comfortable for you.

 

[ChymeofPassion]

Hey all,

I want some perspectives on this. I am working through my secondaries and in the process, I have been thinking about what makes me diverse. What I am about to talk about is not the only thing I have, so it can definitely be left out.

Long story short, I'm super gay but I'm not out to my family. There are people in my life who know, and they are not like sworn to secrecy, but I don't really bring friends or SOs around my family for personal reasons. If I was asked directly by my mother or something, I like to think I would be honest about it, but maybe not. I'm a really private person, and I don't talk about personal stuff with my parents. I'm not going to say I'm in the closet (I really hate that phrase), but I wouldn't say I go around sharing my sexuality with everyone I meet. Most people assume I'm straight because I guess I present as super hetero and I don't go out of my way to bring it up. Make sense?

Anyway, a part of me wants to talk about this in my essays. My concerns are a few fold:

1. The internal biases of adcoms
2. I definitely have an interest in working with LGBTQ patients, and have done volunteer work in the past. But it feels weird/wrong to write about it if my parents don't know?
3. Having a record of my sexuality in this political climate sort of worries me a bit, and yes I know I'm paranoid

Thanks

So long as you don't apply to a few schools with a strong religious affiliation (ex. Loma Linda), I think your experiences and perspective will be well received. I too think it's paranoid to be worried about a record of your sexuality.

 

[929826]

Was

My parents don't acknowledge it at all and act like they don't know and I keep most of my life separate from them, but it was a huge reason and motivator for me and why I wanted to go into medicine so I wrote about it.

You have to do what feels most comfortable for you.

Was it brought up a lot in interviews? Did you feel like you were assigned the typical gay/lesbian stereotypes?

 

[shapley]

Was

Was it brought up a lot in interviews? Did you feel like you were assigned the typical gay/lesbian stereotypes?

I definitely had that fear going on interviews and stuff, and I'd say it was 50/50 if it was brought up by the adcom. It's fairly obvious that I'm gay since I do have a bit of a gay lisp, so I can't say that I never felt like I wasn't put into that box. However I had a lot of unique experiences in the LGBT+ community that was strongly relevant to medicine and my passions. In my first cycle of applying, I actually shied away from it which didn't work to my favor but in my 2nd cycle I fully embraced the experiences I had to make myself stand out more. Again, I want to re-iterate that you should say/write as much as you're comfortable with.

For many people, especially in medicine, being queer didn't have much of an impact on their endeavors and why they chose medicine, but for me it did. My identity as a gay man has had a crucial role in my journey through medicine so it was a big part of my application during my 2nd cycle. If your identity is an important part of your journey in medicine, I definitely recommend talking about it in some capacity. If not, you don't have to mention it at all. As people, we are more than just one category/box.

I had an ADCOM come out to me herself during an interview and we really bonded over being queer. I had another interviewer phrase some things insensitively but not because they were out to get me, but more because I think they just didn't know. I think despite medicine being very conservative, most doctors, especially staff you meet in education are fairly accepting.

And for your parents, it depends on your dynamic I guess. My parents "don't know" but I've always lived parts of my life fairly separate from theirs and so I go through a lot of compartmentalization. You're always going to be somewhat paranoid because people can react to someone's sexuality in surprising ways. That fear of coming out is something most LGBT+ people will always have for the rest of their lives.

 

[Stagg737]

1. The internal biases of adcoms

I would not worry about this. Imo these people would be the minority and if Adcoms held it against you it's likely an environment you would not want to be in anyway.

2. I definitely have an interest in working with LGBTQ patients, and have done volunteer work in the past. But it feels weird/wrong to write about it if my parents don't know?

I could see why that would feel weird, but I wouldn't worry about it if you feel it's important to your application. I don't think my parents ever read any of my application essays (to UG or beyond) and there's no reason for them to find out unless you want them to.

3. Having a record of my sexuality in this political climate sort of worries me a bit, and yes I know I'm paranoid

It's just you being paranoid. I would not worry about this in the least.


As was said, only write about it if you feel comfortable discussing it during an interview. Once you write about it in your essays it's fair game for interviewers to ask about. So if you're not comfortable bringing it up to strangers, don't mention it. You should also keep in mind that just saying "I'm diverse because I'm gay" isn't good enough. You'll actually need to explain why that matters and what that diversity will add to the school/how it has made you stronger/better/more mature/increased whatever positive trait.

 

[929826]

Thanks so much for the detailed response! I really relate with the family stuff, and I'm glad you were able to bond with the adcom! I also think your point about whether it is relevant to your journey to medicine is really good as well. I really resent a lot of the "expectations" put onto gay people (mainly that your whole identity must revolve around being gay, rather than it being one aspect of your identity) so I appreciate you saying that we are more than just one category/box.

You're always going to be somewhat paranoid because people can react to someone's sexuality in surprising ways. That fear of coming out is something most LGBT+ people will always have for the rest of their lives.

This part particularly stuck with me. As a result of the fact that a lot of people assume I'm straight, I hear a lot of "private" opinions about LGBT people. It's always surprising to me how many people will act super accepting outwardly, but then when they think they are alone with a straight person, they will say pretty ignorant or outright rude generalizations. I think that's part of why I am a bit nervous about including it in my app.

 

[929826]

As was said, only write about it if you feel comfortable discussing it during an interview. Once you write about it in your essays it's fair game for interviewers to ask about. So if you're not comfortable bringing it up to strangers, don't mention it. You should also keep in mind that just saying "I'm diverse because I'm gay" isn't good enough. You'll actually need to explain why that matters and what that diversity will add to the school/how it has made you stronger/better/more mature/increased whatever positive trait.

I think I would feel comfortable discussing it in an interview. Under the right circumstances, I am a very open person. I just don't broadcast it because I don't really think it's most people's business, and there are situations where I worry about discrimination because of where I live.

The "diverse because I'm gay" thing is a good point, but I wouldn't frame it that way anyway, because I don't feel being gay is my identity, but rather a part of it. I would probably talk about my experiences volunteering with LGBT community and how I feel my personal background of gayness would allow me to help address some of the challenges we face when seeking comprehensive medical care. But you are right, if I decided to include it, I will need to reflect deeply on how it fits into my narrative and journey.

 

[shapley]

This part particularly stuck with me. As a result of the fact that a lot of people assume I'm straight, I hear a lot of "private" opinions about LGBT people. It's always surprising to me how many people will act super accepting outwardly, but then when they think they are alone with a straight person, they will say pretty ignorant or outright rude generalizations. I think that's part of why I am a bit nervous about including it in my app.

I take solace in the fact that they'd probably talk crap behind my back even if I were straight. But I hope you settle on something you're happy with while also highlighting your character! Good luck!

 

[Sagebrush]

I can't provide any useful input at this stage, but I'm just popping in to cheer you on. I'm in the exact same position now - writing secondary essays and including that I'm LGBT, but definitely feeling weird writing about it because I'm not "out" (like you, I'm not a fan of the term) to most of the people in my life.

I know it feels awkward, and it's a very vulnerable feeling to be so open about it when you haven't been in the past, but I think it will be worth it in the end! I'm sure you'll find the perfect way to frame your experiences in the essays you write, and I suspect that being open about your sexuality will help you find a "home" at a medical school that truly supports you.

You can do it!

 

[Goro]

Hey all,

I want some perspectives on this. I am working through my secondaries and in the process, I have been thinking about what makes me diverse. What I am about to talk about is not the only thing I have, so it can definitely be left out.

Long story short, I'm super gay but I'm not out to my family. There are people in my life who know, and they are not like sworn to secrecy, but I don't really bring friends or SOs around my family for personal reasons. If I was asked directly by my mother or something, I like to think I would be honest about it, but maybe not. I'm a really private person, and I don't talk about personal stuff with my parents. I'm not going to say I'm in the closet (I really hate that phrase), but I wouldn't say I go around sharing my sexuality with everyone I meet. Most people assume I'm straight because I guess I present as super hetero and I don't go out of my way to bring it up. Make sense?

Anyway, a part of me wants to talk about this in my essays. My concerns are a few fold:

1. The internal biases of adcoms
2. I definitely have an interest in working with LGBTQ patients, and have done volunteer work in the past. But it feels weird/wrong to write about it if my parents don't know?
3. Having a record of my sexuality in this political climate sort of worries me a bit, and yes I know I'm paranoid

Thanks

A number of medical schools consider LBTG as URM, and nearly all are welcoming (except Loma Linda and LUCOM). Hence run with who you are and your interests. However, as Stagg pointed out, it will help you far more if you have done volunteering work with LGBT (or other marginalized populations). Adcoms like it much more when you walk the walk, as opposed to merely talking the talk.

Your parents are neither applying to med school, nor reviewing your app.

It's important to be comfortable in your own skin, you know.

 

[Jennawitz]

Also LGBT and including it! I think it's definitely worth it because a lot of schools do actually mention sexual orientation, gender identity, etc. in their diversity prompts. Plus the way I've always thought about it is that if you're not going to get into a school because an adcom didn't want a gay person there, do you really want to be going there anyway?

 

[Happymadness]

I may be taking a strong stance with my message, but it concerns me that a lot of people in this thread are LGBTQ+ but aren't out. As someone expected to become a leader in the medical field, you have a responsibility to your patients and to your future colleagues and mentees to be out and proud.

You know all too well about the anxiety in the doctor's office when they ask the question "how many sexual partners in the last month? men or women? condom use? etc." — have you thought about how much easier and reassuring that conversation would be for a LGBTQ+ patient when the doctor wears a Pride flag/symbol on their white coat or dress shirt?

If you're not comfortable being gay, get comfortable. Embrace your queerness! I also live my life quite separately from my parents – they know I'm gay and also do not acknowledge it, but I stopped caring about their reluctance to accept it and moved on. I'm not becoming a physician to please them – I'm doing this because this is my life. Being gay is a huge part of my identity and you can expect that I will be making it clear in my application. You should too - especially in this climate!

 

[Goro]

I may be taking a strong stance with my message, but it concerns me that a lot of people in this thread are LGBTQ+ but aren't out. As someone expected to become a leader in the medical field, you have a responsibility to your patients and to your future colleagues and mentees to be out and proud.

You know all too well about the anxiety in the doctor's office when they ask the question "how many sexual partners in the last month? men or women? condom use? etc." — have you thought about how much easier and reassuring that conversation would be for a LGBTQ+ patient when the doctor wears a Pride flag/symbol on their white coat or dress shirt?

If you're not comfortable being gay, get comfortable. Embrace your queerness! I also live my life quite separately from my parents – they know I'm gay and also do not acknowledge it, but I stopped caring about their reluctance to accept it and moved on. I'm not becoming a physician to please them – I'm doing this because this is my life. Being gay is a huge part of my identity and you can expect that I will be making it clear in my application. You should too - especially in this climate!

I was going to post something similar, but keep in mind that many SDNers come from cultures/regions/environments where coming out may lead to them becoming disowned by their parents. I have heard this story from a few of my gay students.

I think that perhaps we should trust the OP's assessment of his parents.

 

[Sagebrush]

I may be taking a strong stance with my message, but it concerns me that a lot of people in this thread are LGBTQ+ but aren't out. As someone expected to become a leader in the medical field, you have a responsibility to your patients and to your future colleagues and mentees to be out and proud.

You know all too well about the anxiety in the doctor's office when they ask the question "how many sexual partners in the last month? men or women? condom use? etc." — have you thought about how much easier and reassuring that conversation would be for a LGBTQ+ patient when the doctor wears a Pride flag/symbol on their white coat or dress shirt?

If you're not comfortable being gay, get comfortable. Embrace your queerness! I also live my life quite separately from my parents – they know I'm gay and also do not acknowledge it, but I stopped caring about their reluctance to accept it and moved on. I'm not becoming a physician to please them – I'm doing this because this is my life. Being gay is a huge part of my identity and you can expect that I will be making it clear in my application. You should too - especially in this climate!

Unfortunately it's not always that simple. And it's not always about not being "proud". And sometimes, there are select people you choose not to share certain aspects of your life with - this is not an unreasonable decision.

 

[shapley]

I may be taking a strong stance with my message, but it concerns me that a lot of people in this thread are LGBTQ+ but aren't out. As someone expected to become a leader in the medical field, you have a responsibility to your patients and to your future colleagues and mentees to be out and proud.

You know all too well about the anxiety in the doctor's office when they ask the question "how many sexual partners in the last month? men or women? condom use? etc." — have you thought about how much easier and reassuring that conversation would be for a LGBTQ+ patient when the doctor wears a Pride flag/symbol on their white coat or dress shirt?

If you're not comfortable being gay, get comfortable. Embrace your queerness! I also live my life quite separately from my parents – they know I'm gay and also do not acknowledge it, but I stopped caring about their reluctance to accept it and moved on. I'm not becoming a physician to please them – I'm doing this because this is my life. Being gay is a huge part of my identity and you can expect that I will be making it clear in my application. You should too - especially in this climate!

You shouldn't be so hasty to judge, everyone has their own circumstances and will only get so comfortable on their own accord.

 

[LizzyM]

I was going to post something similar, but keep in mind that many SDNers come from cultures/regions/environments where coming out may lead to them becoming disowned by their parents. I have heard this story from a few of my gay students.

I think that perhaps we should trust the OP's assessment of his parents.

True. One of my colleagues did not come out until he was an attending physician and in situation where he could permanently settle in the US.

 

[929826]

I may be taking a strong stance with my message, but it concerns me that a lot of people in this thread are LGBTQ+ but aren't out. As someone expected to become a leader in the medical field, you have a responsibility to your patients and to your future colleagues and mentees to be out and proud.

You know all too well about the anxiety in the doctor's office when they ask the question "how many sexual partners in the last month? men or women? condom use? etc." — have you thought about how much easier and reassuring that conversation would be for a LGBTQ+ patient when the doctor wears a Pride flag/symbol on their white coat or dress shirt?

If you're not comfortable being gay, get comfortable. Embrace your queerness! I also live my life quite separately from my parents – they know I'm gay and also do not acknowledge it, but I stopped caring about their reluctance to accept it and moved on. I'm not becoming a physician to please them – I'm doing this because this is my life. Being gay is a huge part of my identity and you can expect that I will be making it clear in my application. You should too - especially in this climate!

I appreciate your comments, and I want to thank you for being willing to share them.
Also, just a note to people, I am actually a female (who is attracted to females). The word gay can denote homosexual people who are male or female. For some reason, I tend to use the word "gay" more than "lesbian" when talking about my sexuality, but either one describes me.

Re: being out to patients:
I think this is a complex issue. On the one hand, I recently read a study that showed that 1/3 of the people that were polled expressed being uncomfortable with having a physician who is gay. On the other hand, I would like my patients who identify as LGBT+ to see people like them represented in medicine. I anticipate that how much I share my sexuality in the workplace will be something I figure out over time. For example, do you announce to every patient that you are gay? Probably not. But wearing a rainbow/pride pin? That's an easy yes for me. All of that being said, I think being gay has more to offer to medicine than just being known as the "gay physician". I have life experiences that give me a better chance of understanding and relating to patients who identify similarly, thus making it more likely that I can anticipate and meet their needs. Feel free to push back if you strongly disagree.

Re: being out and proud:
I am not *not* out. I do not hide my sexuality. I just am not a person who naturally expresses my sexuality around people I don't know very well. Unlike you, being gay is not a huge part of my identity. It's an important part of my identity, but I reject the idea that it must be a large part of my identity, or that I owe it to the world to shout it from the rooftops. I think I am allowed to have boundaries, and I should not be shamed for that

Re: being out to my parents/family:
As others have noted in this thread, this is a complex decision that I don't really feel the need to dissect/justify. There will very likely come a time where they will know-as I expect I will eventually be in a long term relationship with another woman, and maybe even get married. At this point in time, our relationship is not in a place where I feel comfortable sharing who I am with them, and this includes friends, private interests, and of course, my sexuality. They have hurt me deeply in the past, and I would like more time to pass where they show themselves to be trustworthy people with my best interests at heart before sharing this with them.

 

[Nathan17182]

I may be taking a strong stance with my message, but it concerns me that a lot of people in this thread are LGBTQ+ but aren't out. As someone expected to become a leader in the medical field, you have a responsibility to your patients and to your future colleagues and mentees to be out and proud.

You know all too well about the anxiety in the doctor's office when they ask the question "how many sexual partners in the last month? men or women? condom use? etc." — have you thought about how much easier and reassuring that conversation would be for a LGBTQ+ patient when the doctor wears a Pride flag/symbol on their white coat or dress shirt?

If you're not comfortable being gay, get comfortable. Embrace your queerness! I also live my life quite separately from my parents – they know I'm gay and also do not acknowledge it, but I stopped caring about their reluctance to accept it and moved on. I'm not becoming a physician to please them – I'm doing this because this is my life. Being gay is a huge part of my identity and you can expect that I will be making it clear in my application. You should too - especially in this climate!

I disagree. I don’t believe that physicians that are LGBTQ+ have a responsibility to be out and proud.

“If you're not comfortable being gay, get comfortable” I think that this really undercuts people in difficult situations. Being raised in an extremely religious household, I can tell you that I couldn’t just get comfortable with being gay, it took years of hard work. Some people would rather keep a relationship with their parents than be out and not have one. Coming out is a personal decision and no one else’s opinion matters.

To the OP,

I mentioned coming to terms with being gay in my PS very briefly and a few times in secondaries if there was a diversity prompt. I didn’t feel like I had any issues with negative bias. It was specifically brought up during an interview at a religious affiliated school and it wasn’t a problem (I was accepted there too).

 

[929826]

A number of medical schools consider LBTG as URM, and nearly all are welcoming (except Loma Linda and LUCOM). Hence run with who you are and your interests. However, as Stagg pointed out, it will help you far more if you have done volunteering work with LGBT (or other marginalized populations). Adcoms like it much more when you walk the walk, as opposed to merely talking the talk.

Your parents are neither applying to med school, nor reviewing your app.

It's important to be comfortable in your own skin, you know.

I agree it's important to be comfortable in your own skin. I feel comfortable with my sexuality, but am just also a fairly private person. I am waiting to come out my parents until I am less reliant on them, because at this point I do not trust them not to use my sexuality as a weapon against me.

I have worked with LGBT populations, particularly victims of violence who identify as LGBT. I would likely use this in an essay to describe the challenges I saw these folks face as they received medical forensic exams, interacted with police for reporting, and sought resources like housing and LGBT friendly therapists. I have also worked with LGBT folks in correctional facilities, and have seen them them struggle to obtain appropriate medical care and resources. And of course, I can talk about my own experiences as well. In my essays, I would talk about how because of these experiences and my own, I would like to address some of these challenges (in particular the medical ones) once I became a doc. Does that sound ok?

 

[Goro]

I agree it's important to be comfortable in your own skin. I feel comfortable with my sexuality, but am just also a fairly private person. I am waiting to come out my parents until I am less reliant on them, because at this point I do not trust them not to use my sexuality as a weapon against me.

I have worked with LGBT populations, particularly victims of violence who identify as LGBT. I would likely use this in an essay to describe the challenges I saw these folks face as they received medical forensic exams, interacted with police for reporting, and sought resources like housing and LGBT friendly therapists. I have also worked with LGBT folks in correctional facilities, and have seen them them struggle to obtain appropriate medical care and resources. And of course, I can talk about my own experiences as well. In my essays, I would talk about how because of these experiences and my own, I would like to address some of these challenges (in particular the medical ones) once I became a doc. Does that sound ok?

Prrfect!!

 

[929826]

True. One of my colleagues did not come out until he was an attending physician and in situation where he could permanently settle in the US.

Was he generally accepted by his peers? I am just trying to get a sense of what this looks like, since none of the gay people I know are doctors. I read this article, which was both inspiring and at times worrisome:
https://www.academicpedsjnl.net/article/S1876-2859(12)00006-X/fulltext

As a general note, does anyone know of any gay women in medicine who have shared their journey?

 

[JonahSnows]

You're not wrong to be worried. I am worried about almost everything in this process. Try to put those fears aside, however. I think you'll be just fine. You should talk about this if you feel comfortable doing so. It is a big part of who you are and why you want to pursue medicine. It makes you unique and interesting and it'll give you great perspective to serve this often disadvantaged population.

I don't think you should talk about your parents not knowing, that bit isn't really relevant, unless you frame it in some sort of adversity essay. You'll be great. Best of luck to you!

 

[precisiongraphic]

Was he generally accepted by his peers? I am just trying to get a sense of what this looks like, since none of the gay people I know are doctors. I read this article, which was both inspiring and at times worrisome:
https://www.academicpedsjnl.net/article/S1876-2859(12)00006-X/fulltext

As a general note, does anyone know of any gay women in medicine who have shared their journey?

I'm old and probably very private (and hetero) but when I was 15-28, there's no way I'd ever have talked about who I was sleeping with with my parents. Regardless of your reasons or your orientation, talking about sexual partners is not something you should feel compelled to do. Do it when you're ready and not before. And no reason to tell people in your PS that you haven't told your parents.

There's the Underrepresented forum here is pretty active as is the women's board.

This women in medicine group looks fantastic and they offer mentoring. They also have an upcoming conference and are inviting premeds.

Another organization for health care professionals.

 

[Sagebrush]

I'm old and probably very private (and hetero) but when I was 15-28, there's no way I'd ever have talked about who I was sleeping with with my parents. Regardless of your reasons or your orientation, talking about sexual partners is not something you should feel compelled to do. Do it when you're ready and not before. And no reason to tell people in your PS that you haven't told your parents.

There's the Underrepresented forum here is pretty active as is the women's board.

This women in medicine group looks fantastic and they offer mentoring. They also have an upcoming conference and are inviting premeds.

Another organization for health care professionals.

That women in medicine group looks like a wonderful resource! Thanks for sharing it!

 

[precisiongraphic]

That women in medicine group looks like a wonderful resource! Thanks for sharing it!

You're welcome.

The August 2018 conference says:
Pre-Conference Workshop: Mentorship and Career Exploration for Lesbian Pre-Med and Medical Students
This pre-conference workshop will be held on Sunday, August 5, 2018 from 9:00-1:00 and will include lunch. The program will host a panel of physicians speaking about their specialties. It will also review the application process into medical school and residency, whether to come out or not during the application process and how to identify a LGBTQ friendly environment.

If interested, please register early, space is limited.

 

[Sagebrush]

You're welcome.

The August 2018 conference says:
Pre-Conference Workshop: Mentorship and Career Exploration for Lesbian Pre-Med and Medical Students
This pre-conference workshop will be held on Sunday, August 5, 2018 from 9:00-1:00 and will include lunch. The program will host a panel of physicians speaking about their specialties. It will also review the application process into medical school and residency, whether to come out or not during the application process and how to identify a LGBTQ friendly environment.

If interested, please register early, space is limited.

You are a wonderful human being for finding and sharing this!

 

[precisiongraphic]

You are a wonderful human being for finding and sharing this!

Aww - you made me tear up.

I am glad it helps. Looks like a great session.

 

[QPOC1231]

Just wanted to pop in quickly to offer support and encouragement. You can and should do whatever feels right for you. I just finished a successful cycle where I was out as transfeminine and non-binary, wearing women's suits to interviews. Being out during the cycle was a serious and difficult decision, but I am really happy to have been myself throughout it. Good luck!

 

[Sheiko]

Was he generally accepted by his peers? I am just trying to get a sense of what this looks like, since none of the gay people I know are doctors. I read this article, which was both inspiring and at times worrisome:
https://www.academicpedsjnl.net/article/S1876-2859(12)00006-X/fulltext

As a general note, does anyone know of any gay women in medicine who have shared their journey?

What a moving article, thanks for posting

 

[LizzyM]

Was he generally accepted by his peers? I am just trying to get a sense of what this looks like, since none of the gay people I know are doctors. I read this article, which was both inspiring and at times worrisome:
https://www.academicpedsjnl.net/article/S1876-2859(12)00006-X/fulltext

As a general note, does anyone know of any gay women in medicine who have shared their journey?

Do keep in mind that this writer is referring to the 1980s with the examples from medical school, etc.

There are a number of physician and other faculty at my school who are out. They even have a club for themselves and allys.

 

[V781]

So Dr. Cameron is "super gay"....this is excellent news 🙂

Anyhow, choose to write about something that has had a large impact on you and your pre-med journey. I personally would not know how to relate my sexuality to my desire to pursue medicine, so it might not be the correct route for everyone.

 

[929826]

So Dr. Cameron is "super gay"....this is excellent news 🙂

Anyhow, choose to write about something that has had a large impact on you and your pre-med journey. I personally would not know how to relate my sexuality to my desire to pursue medicine, so it might not be the correct route for everyone.

I agree, I definitely don't want to randomly use it, only when it fits the prompt/question.
And yes I realize Thirteen/Remy is more fitting... but I look more like Cameron so I went with her. Plus I think she is an interesting character as well. It always bothered me that the writers never gave Thirteen any "stable/normal" relationships with women, only men. Totally wished her and Cameron could have had a thing, but alas that pesky Australian got in the way!

 

[Cheenghee Koh]

Also want to give my support to OP: You are not alone, at least not in this cycle. =)

I am a super non-trad (close to 40) who is using "They" as my gender pronoun in my AMCAS application. My gender expression is way too atypical to cover up. So in my personal statement and ECs, I not only come out, but also explicitly write about my past traumatized experiences, and most importantly, how these experiences have motivated me to do what I have been doing for nearly two decades (I am a social worker working with LGBTQ community and HIV+ clients) and how they have inspired me to pursue a career in medicine now. I just can't hide the fact that I belong to LGBTQ community, as my entire CV is nothing but LGBTQ/HIV (I always joke that you can literally see a rainbow coming out from my CV!). (OK, this is not entirely true as recently I am doing some work in the field of disabilities too). I expect that all the interviewers would know this before I go into the interview rooms. Growing up in a religious community without even a term to describe myself, I know how it felt to live in the shadow. That is why I refuse to go to any place that is not LGBTQ-friendly. As I am growing older and getting closer to 40, I am getting more knowledgeable and comfortable about who I am, and of course, who I am not. I know that, when the schools are interviewing me, I am interviewing them too. I don't want to spend 4 years in a place where I don't feel comfortable.

I don't mean to push you to talk about this in your application, in particular when you feel not ready to talk about this. I just want to let you know, someone in this application cycle (oh well, me) has centered their entire application on LGBTQ and HIV.

 

[hebrewBAMmer]

1. The internal biases of adcoms
2. I definitely have an interest in working with LGBTQ patients, and have done volunteer work in the past. But it feels weird/wrong to write about it if my parents don't know?
3. Having a record of my sexuality in this political climate sort of worries me a bit, and yes I know I'm paranoid

You do you, but for what it's worth, I talked about being LGBT in a number of secondary essays on diversity/adversity, and even in some interviews, and it was received very positively. The way I saw it, if adcoms were going to be biased against me for being LGBT, that spoke volumes of that particular school and I wouldn't sure I would end up wanting to be a student there anyway

 

[buckoh24]

Hey all,

I want some perspectives on this. I am working through my secondaries and in the process, I have been thinking about what makes me diverse. What I am about to talk about is not the only thing I have, so it can definitely be left out.

Long story short, I'm super gay but I'm not out to my family. There are people in my life who know, and they are not like sworn to secrecy, but I don't really bring friends or SOs around my family for personal reasons. If I was asked directly by my mother or something, I like to think I would be honest about it, but maybe not. I'm a really private person, and I don't talk about personal stuff with my parents. I'm not going to say I'm in the closet (I really hate that phrase), but I wouldn't say I go around sharing my sexuality with everyone I meet. Most people assume I'm straight because I guess I present as super hetero and I don't go out of my way to bring it up. Make sense?

Anyway, a part of me wants to talk about this in my essays. My concerns are a few fold:

1. The internal biases of adcoms
2. I definitely have an interest in working with LGBTQ patients, and have done volunteer work in the past. But it feels weird/wrong to write about it if my parents don't know?
3. Having a record of my sexuality in this political climate sort of worries me a bit, and yes I know I'm paranoid

Thanks

Fellow hella gay checking in. Im out and my app is super gay with it being mentioned literally everywhere (PS, activities, diversity essays, disadvantage essay, LORs mentioned it, etc). For #2 the school isnt about to cal up your fam and be like "hey is he really gay or tryna pull a fast one on us?" (coming from a fellow "straight" presenting gay. I know some people have joked about pretending to be LGBT in apps to get a leg up and "

Also with the current political climate, I feel ya. Its rough but I would rather live my life for myself instead of appease others. And you would be surprised by how often there are LGBT adcoms who will be on your side if there is bias. And in all honestly, if the adcoms arent accepting of LGBT+ people then I probably wouldnt be a good fit there anyways. Just stau away from Loma Linda (the jesuit schools are fine tho. The are pretty cool with all of it).

 

[mvenus929]

Was he generally accepted by his peers? I am just trying to get a sense of what this looks like, since none of the gay people I know are doctors. I read this article, which was both inspiring and at times worrisome:
https://www.academicpedsjnl.net/article/S1876-2859(12)00006-X/fulltext

As a general note, does anyone know of any gay women in medicine who have shared their journey?

Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 male attendings at my residency that are gay, along with 2 classmates from med school. One of my co-residents is a lesbian, and did an MD/PhD. One of my other (female) co-residents is bisexual and dated both men and women during residency. I did both med school and residency in Virginia (and not NoVa, so definitely on the more conservative end). Also, one of the PDs at the local military hospital was also a married gay male. I tend to not dig into people's personal lives, so I'm sure there are many more people that I don't remember off hand. They're all very well respected people.

 

[V781]

Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 male attendings at my residency that are gay, along with 2 classmates from med school. One of my co-residents is a lesbian, and did an MD/PhD. One of my other (female) co-residents is bisexual and dated both men and women during residency. I did both med school and residency in Virginia (and not NoVa, so definitely on the more conservative end). Also, one of the PDs at the local military hospital was also a married gay male. I tend to not dig into people's personal lives, so I'm sure there are many more people that I don't remember off hand. They're all very well respected people.

Great to hear. I was afraid it would be especially difficult for those that are into the same sex to date through this process.

 

[mrtmb]

Hey all,

I want some perspectives on this. I am working through my secondaries and in the process, I have been thinking about what makes me diverse. What I am about to talk about is not the only thing I have, so it can definitely be left out.

Long story short, I'm super gay but I'm not out to my family. There are people in my life who know, and they are not like sworn to secrecy, but I don't really bring friends or SOs around my family for personal reasons. If I was asked directly by my mother or something, I like to think I would be honest about it, but maybe not. I'm a really private person, and I don't talk about personal stuff with my parents. I'm not going to say I'm in the closet (I really hate that phrase), but I wouldn't say I go around sharing my sexuality with everyone I meet. Most people assume I'm straight because I guess I present as super hetero and I don't go out of my way to bring it up. Make sense?

Anyway, a part of me wants to talk about this in my essays. My concerns are a few fold:

1. The internal biases of adcoms
2. I definitely have an interest in working with LGBTQ patients, and have done volunteer work in the past. But it feels weird/wrong to write about it if my parents don't know?
3. Having a record of my sexuality in this political climate sort of worries me a bit, and yes I know I'm paranoid

Thanks

I just want to say I admire your choices. I am gay as well, and it took me many years to accept myself for who I was. I will be applying in the 2019 cycle and will be including what I feel is necessary in my app/secondaries. I have a part of my family that I'm not out to as well, for personal reasons. It is not up to the world to decide who we come out to, and who we don't. We should take pride in the fact that we know who we are, and that's all that matters. Showing ADCOMs that you have a deep understanding of the person you feel that you are will help in the long run, regardless if that means bringing up your sexuality or not. The biggest point is: just be you, in whatever regard that means. You have every reason to be paranoid given the political climate. It's impossible to know how someone will react to your sexuality, but we can't please the world. It also takes strength to keep things like this from your family. Sometimes it is the way it must be, and for reasons beyond our control. Just use your experiences as stepping stones to becoming who you are and I believe ADCOMs will see your strength. And that doesn't mean you have to out yourself to them. It just means you need to show them who you are and what your intentions are. Being gay is only one small piece of a very large picture.

-T

 

[monsonss]

Thanks for the super interesting thread guys. I have been planning to write not specifically about being a lesbian, but being visibly gender-non conforming (i.e. many people mistake me for a man or and in any case anyone can tell by looking at me that I'm gay), for some of my diversity essays. I was going to address the topic in terms of how it's made me more able to empathize with others and see from their perspectives rather than about being gay per se. I don't have volunteer experience w/the LGBT community but I did lead an LGB women's group at my college years ago. Worth writing about?

 

[Goro]

Thanks for the super interesting thread guys. I have been planning to write not specifically about being a lesbian, but being visibly gender-non conforming (i.e. many people mistake me for a man or and in any case anyone can tell by looking at me that I'm gay), for some of my diversity essays. I was going to address the topic in terms of how it's made me more able to empathize with others and see from their perspectives rather than about being gay per se. I don't have volunteer experience w/the LGBT community but I did lead an LGB women's group at my college years ago. Worth writing about?

The bolded is much more interesting to me than the red.

For some reason, I'm worried that the red might be a turn off for some readers, as compared to just the mention of your gender orientation. meaning "I don't do what people expect me to do" is less interesting than "this is who I am".

 

[Sagebrush]

Shameless thread hijack..... Would anyone be willing to read over a secondary essay or two for me where I discuss this?

 

[fantasticman221]

Shameless thread hijack..... Would anyone be willing to read over a secondary essay or two for me where I discuss this?

I Can. Pm me

 

[monsonss]

The bolded is much more interesting to me than the red.

For some reason, I'm worried that the red might be a turn off for some readers, as compared to just the mention of your gender orientation. meaning "I don't do what people expect me to do" is less interesting than "this is who I am".

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "I don't do what people expect me to do". That wasn't my intent at all, I think is very much about "this is who I am". I probably didn't explain well--basically because of the way I look, which has 100% to do with my orientation, people interact with me in all manner of odd ways from awkward to threatening. I've learned how to deal with this over time and think I might be able to tell a good story about it. It wouldn't be about "being different" for the sake of being different but rather about how I handle other people perceiving me as such, and the ways that I've grown as a result. What about this idea? I could perhaps weave something in about leading the women's group but that is a much less important part of my own story IMO. I understand that the phrase gender non conforming itself might be unfamiliar or a turn off, would "visibly gay/lesbian" be better? I feel like I am talking about a relatively common phenomenon, but maybe I am wrong. Thanks for your help!

 

[Goro]

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "I don't do what people expect me to do". That wasn't my intent at all, I think is very much about "this is who I am". I probably didn't explain well--basically because of the way I look, which has 100% to do with my orientation, people interact with me in all manner of odd ways from awkward to threatening. I've learned how to deal with this over time and think I might be able to tell a good story about it. It wouldn't be about "being different" for the sake of being different but rather about how I handle other people perceiving me as such, and the ways that I've grown as a result. What about this idea? I could perhaps weave something in about leading the women's group but that is a much less important part of my own story IMO. I understand that the phrase gender non conforming itself might be unfamiliar or a turn off, would "visibly gay/lesbian" be better? I feel like I am talking about a relatively common phenomenon, but maybe I am wrong. Thanks for your help!

This angle sounds more viable. The key thing is to sell your resilience when dealing with hatred and fear.

It's not too late to start volunteering, either! There are a lot of marginalized populations out there, especially since the Death Eaters have taken over the Ministry.

EDIT: I like your original description of yourself better. "Visibly gay/lesbian" can be a Rorschach test of a phrase but what I'm concerned about is that it brings up a stereotypical image.

 

[LizzyM]

Just a side note... if you are gender non-conforming in appearance, it's nice to give your interviewers a clue before they meet you, i.e. in the application's text.

PS: You sound like my niece's wife... but she's not applying to med school.

 

[monsonss]

Just a side note... if you are gender non-conforming in appearance, it's nice to give your interviewers a clue before they meet you, i.e. in the application's text.

PS: You sound like my niece's wife... but she's not applying to med school.

Ah, good to know! I will try to include it somewhere in my apps then. This makes me feel better about sharing, thank you.

 

[monsonss]

This angle sounds more viable. The key thing is to sell your resilience when dealing with hatred and fear.

It's not too late to start volunteering, either! There are a lot of marginalized populations out there, especially since the Death Eaters have taken over the Ministry.

EDIT: I like your original description of yourself better. "Visibly gay/lesbian" can be a Rorschach test of a phrase but what I'm concerned about is that it brings up a stereotypical image.

I get what you're saying about the Rorschach test for sure...I do in fact fit very well into the 'stereotypical image', and I am comfortable/aware enough to find it humorous, but there are issues with saying that explicitly I suppose. I am confident I can tell a good story about my resilience and adaptation in dealing with hate. Thanks so much for the feedback, I super appreciate it!