Life Emptyness After Acceptance

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buffywannabe

buffywannabe

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OK so I understand I am about to be flamed lol, but I will write this anyway because maybe someone feels similar.

I am a reapplicant, I was recently accepted on my third application cycle and am very glad and very relieved. The only thing is since I had spent the last 3 years of my life trying to become what the admissions committee wanted me to be and now I don't have to do that anymore there is a huge hole in my life. I am used to having a goal and now without one I feel very lost and to be completely honest extremely depressed. I realize now that I definitely lost myself in this process. If asked to describe myself I would come up with one word: premed. It has been my life and who I am. I really don't know where to go from here.

Well flame away...
 
buffywannabe said:
OK so I understand I am about to be flamed lol, but I will write this anyway because maybe someone feels similar.

I am a reapplicant, I was recently accepted on my third application cycle and am very glad and very relieved. The only thing is since I had spent the last 3 years of my life trying to become what the admissions committee wanted me to be and now I don't have to do that anymore there is a huge hole in my life. I am used to having a goal and now without one I feel very lost and to be completely honest extremely depressed. I realize now that I definitely lost myself in this process. If asked to describe myself I would come up with one word: premed. It has been my life and who I am. I really don't know where to go from here.

Well flame away...
Click to expand...

I bet this will be moved to pre-allo forum. But anyways, you'll start med school soon. Just relax and have fun these last few months.
 
If you feel extremely depressed, I would recommend going to see a counselor or a psychiatrist to talk through some of your thoughts. I'm sure the psychiatrist especially would understand some of what you went through.

Two other thoughts: Try to be patient and understand that a new role is soon coming to fill the role that recently disappeared: Med student. From everything I've read, it will also fill up your life quite well.

Last thought, it makes me kind of sad that you would describe your person as "premed." This is kinda trite, but do you have good friends who aren't premeds/med students/doctors? Do you have hobbies, interests, and other activities? If not, maybe you could cultivate some of those things. Join a book club, find someone to go running with, whatever. Having one thing define or describe your entire life seems worrisome to me because when that thing disappears (as premed just did), it is more likely to throw you into a deeper funk than if you have lots of other aspects of your life that didn't change.
 
what?

You're bored, and need a new goal. Thats all. Now that you have free time, just go through the motions of keeping busy. Find stuff that engages you. Take a road trip. A change of scenery will do you some good. Your usual habits and hiding spots have taken on an association with "getting into med school" Even your computer, the library, etc. is for that purpose.

You just need to find a project. A project that covers all your bases - changes your scenery, takes a good amount of planning and preparation, occupies your mind and your time for a while, etc - would be ideal.

Welcome to the club. You're going to have to learn to do this. The rest of your life is going to be about chasing goals and deadlines. You'll meet them and then think "now what?". Well, the answer is "the next one"

Your next goal is a bit far off, so you'll have to make one for now. My advice - travel

No psychiatrist needed.
 
how about making some money to pay for school?
or going on some dates or something

being premed you probably missed out on a lot of things those past three years
here's your chance to make it up
 
GoodmanBrown said:
If you feel extremely depressed, I would recommend going to see a counselor or a psychiatrist to talk through some of your thoughts. I'm sure the psychiatrist especially would understand some of what you went through.

Two other thoughts: Try to be patient and understand that a new role is soon coming to fill the role that recently disappeared: Med student. From everything I've read, it will also fill up your life quite well.

Last thought, it makes me kind of sad that you would describe your person as "premed." This is kinda trite, but do you have good friends who aren't premeds/med students/doctors? Do you have hobbies, interests, and other activities? If not, maybe you could cultivate some of those things. Join a book club, find someone to go running with, whatever. Having one thing define or describe your entire life seems worrisome to me because when that thing disappears (as premed just did), it is more likely to throw you into a deeper funk than if you have lots of other aspects of your life that didn't change.
Click to expand...


Yup. Now that you're well on your way, start to get some balance into your life. You're going to need it.
 
Time to focuse on your other interests! That sensation is called RELIEF! You are there, you have accomplished this part of the process. Great job! Now, the challenge is to find things that will give you balance as you go forward. Things that will give you a break from studies, and clinics, and residency. Things that will enable you to have a work/life balance. Write down everything you love, then pursue those things for a while. If you don't know what you love, now is the time to find out; write down anything you are curious about and go exploring. have fun! btw, if it is really as bad as you say, and it is constant, talk to a doctor or counselor. depression can strike out of the blue and needs to be dealt with.
 
This may not be an option, but why not go back to your undergrad university and take some interesting classes?

I can identify with you feeling bored after getting an acceptance, but I realized that I'm going to be spending the next 7-10 years of my life learning medicine... So I decided I wanted to spend a semester and take classes that have little to do with medical school...

As dorky as it sounds I'm looking forward to starting American Politics next week :laugh:
 
Emptiness after achieving a goal is normal. It's because it was the work towards the goal that you enjoyed so much and not so much the actual achievement. It's kind of like how a marathoner feels after they train for months and months, run the race and hit their goal time. After a week or two of enjoying the feeling they go for a run and realize that you don't have anything to look forward to anymore and their motivation to train begins to wane until they identify some new goals.

Bottom line is get some new goals between now and medical school. Take other classes, learn to cook, get in shape, travel, read some books, etc.
 
Thanks guys, I have been working on finding other things to work on. I thought weight loss would be a good thing to do, 20lbs already in 1.5 months. I got a second job. I am taking (have to take) stats this semester. Considering running a marathon. Still doing EMS and BBBS. Even with all of this I still feel goalless. I think this "life emptyness" is also compounded by the fact that i broke up with my bf of 3 years.
 
buffywannabe said:
i broke up with my bf of 3 years.
Click to expand...

I'd say thats the biggie... That is never an easy process, but I'm sure that as the healing process goes on from that, you'll find the sense of relief that the previous poster was talking about.

Congrats on the early acceptance!
 
buffywannabe said:
OK so I understand I am about to be flamed lol, but I will write this anyway because maybe someone feels similar.

I am a reapplicant, I was recently accepted on my third application cycle and am very glad and very relieved. The only thing is since I had spent the last 3 years of my life trying to become what the admissions committee wanted me to be and now I don't have to do that anymore there is a huge hole in my life. I am used to having a goal and now without one I feel very lost and to be completely honest extremely depressed. I realize now that I definitely lost myself in this process. If asked to describe myself I would come up with one word: premed. It has been my life and who I am. I really don't know where to go from here.

Well flame away...
Click to expand...

Set a new goal. Goals aren't bad and they don't have to "change" your person while achieving them. Good luck!
 
AMEN!

I got in on my third round and now i'm just trying to finish my masters by may. My motivation has switched from farenheit to celsius as it appproaches absolute zero. Part of that is some frustrations with my school, part is a feeling of uselessness for this springs classes and the major part, my girlfriend broke up with me. While the first two alone provide enough frustration, the third delivered the killing blow what remaining patience I had.

So far getting in better shape has helped but Im definately planning some grand adventures for spring to keep me motivated. I have never had this much trouble being motivated, but I figure things are only bound to get worse/harder through med school and on, so I'm just doing my best to confront it. Anyways speaking of motivation, back to the problematic purification step of the day!
 
howelljolly said:
what?

You're bored, and need a new goal. Thats all. Now that you have free time, just go through the motions of keeping busy. Find stuff that engages you. Take a road trip. A change of scenery will do you some good. Your usual habits and hiding spots have taken on an association with "getting into med school" Even your computer, the library, etc. is for that purpose.

You just need to find a project. A project that covers all your bases - changes your scenery, takes a good amount of planning and preparation, occupies your mind and your time for a while, etc - would be ideal.

Welcome to the club. You're going to have to learn to do this. The rest of your life is going to be about chasing goals and deadlines. You'll meet them and then think "now what?". Well, the answer is "the next one"
Click to expand...


Yeah, but switching gears at this point is still a pretty tall order. OP, I'm in the exact same place. What do you call us? Post-pre-meds? It feels like I've got 9 months until the rest of my life starts, and without that all-consuming preoccupation called 'getting in', you're right, life feels kinda empty.

And you're right, you could just keep busy. I mean a few more grand for settling in in the fall couldn't hurt right? I dunno about anyone else, but it feels to me like life as we know it is going to be ending come July/August/Sept. Like some kind of count-down's started. 8 months to enjoy life, 7, 6 5...

howelljolly said:
Your next goal is a bit far off, so you'll have to make one for now. My advice - travel
Click to expand...

+1

I'm just as lost as the next non-trad pre-med, and I dunno about the rest of you, but I think the first order of business is to catch up on all the vacations that I've passed up over the past few years, as well as those that I'm going to pass up over the next 4(+3-8)

I hear Central America's nice this time of year. Warm, too.
 
I think what you're feeling makes a lot of sense. I always feel some sense of emptiness/loss/restlessness after I accomplish a big goal because the work that goes into it can be all-consuming, and the aftermath can seem anticlimactic. But usually this feeling passes pretty quickly, and you move on to just enjoying life/working toward the next goal. I plan on just chilling, doing my job in a passable manner, reading lots of books, visiting friends, and traveling (Asia in the summer) prior to starting med school. You'll hopefully find some low-key but productive way to spend your time.

And yeah, breaking up with long-term significant others, especially when you have time to dwell on it, can suck. Been there, done that. It helps if you can distract yourself by filling your days - it may feel forced initially, but it's the only way to get your mind off of it.

Congratulations on the acceptances! That's awesome, and especially meaningful since it's your third app cycle.
 
I kinda feel the same way. I now have anywhere from 6-9 months to do nothing with my life really. Im working 2 jobs, but both jobs are nothin i want to be at. Apparently going to med school makes you toxic to hire 🙁. Its just like you got everything you worked for, for 4 years and now you just wait and do nothing till it happens. I dont think you should be flamed🙂. You are just feeling lost in transtition since the next 6-9 months just seem like a long waiting period where you arent doing much. I agree with others go travel or something if you can, for me travel and other fun things like that just are impossible due to my family situation and lack of money but if you arent tied down by those then by all means go live it up!!!! I know i would right now if i had the opportunity. Sadly being in school allows me to be more stable financially and have more free time..kinda sad hahaa....
 
buy an xbox 360.
then buy call of duty.
and make it your goal to be the best player online.
i bet that will give you something to live for :nod:
 
Same position here. Anyone know if it's even worth it to keep working? Will the finaid just eat up the salary we earn and take it off our aid?
 
Myuu said:
Oh, that last bit wasn't about WoW, but getting addicted to videogames is probably not the best way to start med school.:laugh:
Click to expand...

Well he has from now until August or whenever med school starts.👍
 
ThatQuestionGuy said:
Same position here. Anyone know if it's even worth it to keep working? Will the finaid just eat up the salary we earn and take it off our aid?
Click to expand...

It's taken into account when your finaid packages are decided, but I think schools go about it in their own special ways (after FAFSA does its magic, anyway).
 
Myuu said:
It's taken into account when your finaid packages are decided, but I think schools go about it in their own special ways (after FAFSA does its magic, anyway).
Click to expand...

ThatQuestionGuy said:
Same position here. Anyone know if it's even worth it to keep working? Will the finaid just eat up the salary we earn and take it off our aid?
Click to expand...
depends on the school. Some will use a projected income when configuring aid. I.E you made 40k last year but now you start med school and quit job. They will take that into account and wont use that 40k salary. IDK if all schools do this but i know a few ive interviewed at do. It makes sense too given the amount of non-trads that are admitted now days. You shouldnt be penalized for making a living before med school.
 
standup classes+writing classes+ language classes + lots of exercise + seeing lots of friends. best. time. ever.
 
buffywannabe said:
Thanks guys, I have been working on finding other things to work on. I thought weight loss would be a good thing to do, 20lbs already in 1.5 months. I got a second job. I am taking (have to take) stats this semester. Considering running a marathon. Still doing EMS and BBBS. Even with all of this I still feel goalless. I think this "life emptyness" is also compounded by the fact that i broke up with my bf of 3 years.
Click to expand...

Default said:
AMEN!

I got in on my third round and now i'm just trying to finish my masters by may. My motivation has switched from farenheit to celsius as it appproaches absolute zero. Part of that is some frustrations with my school, part is a feeling of uselessness for this springs classes and the major part, my girlfriend broke up with me. While the first two alone provide enough frustration, the third delivered the killing blow what remaining patience I had.
Click to expand...

Well what are you guys waiting for?? SDN HOOKUPS! :nod:



Aromatic Amine said:
buy an xbox 360.
then buy call of duty. (4)
and make it your goal to be the best player online.
i bet that will give you something to live for :nod:
Click to expand...

So so so so so so so so so true. Its something I love fwd to everyday, even while in med school. You'll never get tired of it. Get a PS3 tho, so you dont have to pay for xblive
 
Aromatic Amine said:
buy an xbox 360.
then buy call of duty.
and make it your goal to be the best player online.
i bet that will give you something to live for :nod:
Click to expand...

and PM me for my Xbox live name so we can be friends and team deathmatch together!

(that goes for any of you) 😀👍 be warned though I kinda suck . . . but my goal is to get awesome
 
chiz2kul said:
Get a PS3 tho, so you dont have to pay for xblive
Click to expand...

Really?? 😱 I didn't know this . . .

of course I didn't buy the xbox my boyfriend did so its no big deal to me, although i paid for my own Live account. can I play with people on ps3 too or only other xboxers?
 
MaryLennox said:
Really?? 😱 I didn't know this . . .

of course I didn't buy the xbox my boyfriend did so its no big deal to me, although i paid for my own Live account. can I play with people on ps3 too or only other xboxers?
Click to expand...

Yea its free with PS3. And no you can't play with people on other systems 🙁

I'm tired of killing all the n00bs tho.. 😀
 
chiz2kul said:
Yea its free with PS3. And no you can't play with people on other systems 🙁

I'm tired of killing all the n00bs tho.. 😀
Click to expand...

hahaha . . yeah i tried playing before christmas and was getting slaughtered. i figured i'd pick it up again after christmas when there would be a flood of . . . ahem, n00bs, but i haven't done it yet. can't tear myself away from SDN 😛

plus i mostly only get the urge to play when i am inebriated, so i play badly. i need to stop doing that!!
 
Give up your spot and re-apply again next cycle. That way, you'll experience the "rush" again and will have something to look forward to / challenge. 👍
 
i feel exactly the same way, 2nd time applicant. I put EVERYTHING i had into this cycle and it finally paid off so i'm also feeling that strange sense of emptiness.

but i also realized that along the way, getting into a med school was only a part (albeit a significant part) of the person i really want to be.

so now im just pursuing my other goals to round myself off, if that makes sense lol.

i feel sorry for us heh, no one knows the kind of tolls this process takes unless they go through the trial by fire themselves.
 
buffywannabe said:
OK so I understand I am about to be flamed lol, but I will write this anyway because maybe someone feels similar.

I am a reapplicant, I was recently accepted on my third application cycle and am very glad and very relieved. The only thing is since I had spent the last 3 years of my life trying to become what the admissions committee wanted me to be and now I don't have to do that anymore there is a huge hole in my life. I am used to having a goal and now without one I feel very lost and to be completely honest extremely depressed. I realize now that I definitely lost myself in this process. If asked to describe myself I would come up with one word: premed. It has been my life and who I am. I really don't know where to go from here.

Well flame away...
Click to expand...

Now is your chance to figure out what you what yourself to be. Just take some time to self-reflect and cultivate your new, genuine interests in time to take on med school this fall!

Cerberus said:
"Medical school is like unprotected sex. It feels great getting in, but once you come you'll regret it forever".
Click to expand...

Dirty, yet so very appropriate.
 
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