Long Distance Relationships

[FloresMD]

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For those of you entering medical school this fall, what are you planning on doing if you are already in a relationship and your signficant other is a day's drive away? Is a long distance relationship worth it or is it easier to just call it quits? Thanks!

 

[deleted407021]

That's entirely up to y'all and the nature and trajectory of your relationship.

This thread might be a better place to ask around.

 

[DrMikeP]

For those of you entering medical school this fall, what are you planning on doing if you are already in a relationship and your signficant other is a day's drive away? Is a long distance relationship worth it or is it easier to just call it quits? Thanks!

If you have to ask for advice, you might already know the answer.

 

[JLT223]

Not saying your relationship will fail, but many do during medical/dental school. It's hard when your SO isn't on the same page and doesn't understand what you're going through, which can easily strain things. Adding distance doesn't help at all.

 

[mspeedwagon]

Glad to see your bf is taking my advice and staying at the school in TX. Honestly, between cost and reputation, it's hard to give up that opportunity he has in hand.

OP and everyone that reads this, if you love the person, you can make it work. My gf went to med school in upstate NY when I lived in CA. She's doing residency in NYC while I'm studying medicine in FL. Where there is a will, there's a way. But, make sure you find a person that's truly worth it. Otherwise, it'll fall apart in no time. Med school is stressful, residency more so, distance is added stress, having both parties go to med school at different times is even more stress. I've survived it all with our relationship in place, but we knew we would (neither of us had any doubt about it). Doubts are where things all start to fall apart. It's not easy, but it is doable.

My boyfriend and I will be starting at different medical schools this year. One in TX and one in FL. We don't see the point in breaking up something good now. Although we know it will be extremely difficult in med school we are going to try atleast. Doesn't make sense to just say "screw it see ya" without trying.

 

[FloresMD]

Thanks for the responses! I had no intention of starting a relationship before I moved to medical school but it just kinda happened. I'm aware of the potential for heart ache if things don't work out but I plan on giving it a shot. I just wanted to see if there were others out there that had done it successfully.

 

[DrMikeP]

My wife and I went through her internship and residency apart. It sucks, but if both sacrifice it is possible. But you must go into it with a we can make it work attitude or you are unlikely to make it.

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[Torilynn92]

My boyfriend and I were long distance while he was in law school (5 hours apart) and truthfully, it was terrible. I couldn't be there for him when he had a hard day, and working to find time to be together was a huge effort. From my standpoint, medical school will be even harder. If it's worth it, it's worth it, and we made it through okay - but now that we're facing the potential option of LDR *again* with me moving for school, after six years, we're in the same boat you are. Nobody wants to not be able to be there for their SO when they're going through what may be the hardest time of their lives, emotionally. :/ I wish I had an answer for you. It CAN work out, but only if you're both committed to making big sacrifices for each other, and even then it's still like a long, drawn-out heartbreak.

 

[memory tcells]

My gf and I have been in a long-distance relationship for 3 out of the 5 years together. It is a challenge, especially if your SO isn't aware of the time commitment for medical school. Tbh, even I was unprepared when my gf started pharmacy school a couple years ago and I would sometimes not hear from her for a couple days at a time during exam times (previously in college we would talk everynight). However, though challenging it not impossible. It requires a lot of trust in one another but can definitely be achievable. Best wishes and good luck to you, OP!

 

[deleted610572]

From experience. It's not worth it. It'll end anyways and you don't want to be stressed/depressed during your adjustment period to medschool

 

[j4pac]

Most relationships will fail by the end of MS-1. Long-distance even more so. If you are asking the question...then I would put money on you being broken up by the end of MS-1.

 

[memory tcells]

Ah, I just read the part where you mention its a new relationship. Yeah, that will be much harder. I was in your position after graduating high school and it didn't turn out great, just led to heartache. Ultimately, its your life and your decision to make. We are just a bunch of strangers giving you answers based on our own experiences. Regardless, I wish you the best!

 

[rangerdad]

You work on a marriage, anything else is just a tryout but should not deviate you of your goals. My wife an I lived most of our ten years of marriage apart while serving in the military. Since starting undergrad it has been more difficult getting use to live together etc... I do love the idea of been there for her and my daughter, but if we are not able to get accepted to the same school we will just go back to the grind. Traveling, planning, Skype, emails, etc... But if she was just my girlfriend, or fiancé I do not think I would sacrifice or put so much energy into it. Just my opinion.


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[costales]

The prognosis is approximately horrible for the vast majority of cases. Don't torture yourself.

 

[OverlyRomantic]

So I read all the responses in this thread, and a majority of them say don't do the long distance relationship. As @DrMikeP and @mspeedwagon have said, if there is even a small amount of doubt in your mind, then it'll be difficult for it to work out. If you know she's the one (kinda hard to know since it's a new relationship) and you have no doubts, then try. I'm doing long distance now, and will be for the next 4 years. It helps that we both go back home during our breaks so we get to be together for about 3 months out of the year. We've had our bumps, but I know that I want to marry her one day and I'm willing to put in the hard work required. This is something which you have to answer. If you have a doubt, then you already have your answer.