Looking for some exceptional personal statements

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Birdnals

Birdnals

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I'm taking a writing class this summer and our professor is big on letting us tailor the class assignments around our individual needs. After asking the professor he gave me the OK to do my personal statement as my final assignment as it gets the most attention in regards to construction, feedback, etc.

I sent him the guidelines for the AMCAS personal statement and he has asked me to find a couple of outstanding personal statements that he could look at so he could have a better idea of what I need to do in the PS and what it should look like. I'm wondering if there are any personal statements floating around the boards that have become known as exceptional over the years. I'd like him to be able to hold me to a high standard for the assignment so I'd really like to find some truly exceptional personal statements.

Thanks.
 
Birdnals said:
I sent him the guidelines for the AMCAS personal statement and he has asked me to find a couple of outstanding personal statements that he could look at so he could have a better idea of what I need to do in the PS and what it should look like. I'm wondering if there are any personal statements floating around the boards that have become known as exceptional over the years. I'd like him to be able to hold me to a high standard for the assignment so I'd really like to find some truly exceptional personal statements.

Thanks.
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I'm sure your professor is asking for the personal statements and it's not you trying to mooch off of other people's work.

I'm calling BS on this one. Do your own work.
 
I'm sorry but you're wrong on this. What do you think I'm going to do? Completely plagiarize someone's PS? Besides, show me an original thought that wasn't derived or inspired by another great work. Examples of excellence is where inspiration often comes from and I fail to see how, even if you were right and my professor wasn't asking for examples, looking for external inspiration would be such a terrible thing. We'd be without many of the great works in art, music, business, agriculture, etc. without this.

I take an extreme amount of pride in my work and wouldn't be able to sleep at night plagiarizing a PS. Unfortunately there's no way for me to prove this to you. You can believe me or not but I see no use in going around and judging people's questions as BS. What value does that add to anything?
 
 
I'd argue against the notion of personal statements being fantastic. It's like arguing about the best ice cream flavor. Sure there's awful ones. How about fish head flavor. But it's whatever you like best beyond that.

I would strive for simplicity and authenticity. Any hyperbole quickly becomes comedic al la pandbear's masterpiece. But who's got the guts to make a giant joke out of it. Automatic acceptance worthy in my book. But medical schools aren't playing by the journeyagent play book.

The genre is just too stale. The expectations too narrow. The question being asked by the enterprise is not an artistic one.
 
JourneyAgent said:
I'd argue against the notion of personal statements being fantastic. It's like arguing about the best ice cream flavor. Sure there's awful ones. How about fish head flavor. But it's whatever you like best beyond that.

I would strive for simplicity and authenticity. Any hyperbole quickly becomes comedic al la pandbear's masterpiece. But who's got the guts to make a giant joke out of it. Automatic acceptance worthy in my book. But medical schools aren't playing by the journeyagent play book.

The genre is just too stale. The expectations too narrow. The question being asked by the enterprise is not an artistic one.
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I agree wholeheartedly. I suppose I could have been more detailed in my question. My instructor needs a 'good' personal statement, and by 'good' he means one that appropriately covers what admissions committees are looking for. While he is a professional writer, he doesn't have any experience in field of medicals personal statements. In order to effectively judge my paper, he needs something to compare it to. If I gave him a crap PS that doesn't sufficiently satisfy an admission committee's basic questions then he may judge my PS as 'good' when compared to the crap PS (that he doesn't know is crap) because it covers the same aspects as the crap PS.

By the way, anyone looking for a good scholarly article on writing their personal statement should Google the article "The Personal Statement in Medical School Applications: Rhetorical Structure in a Diverse and Unstable Context". It was used as a reference in the "Not Another Crayon in the Box" series here on SDN and provides a great research oriented approach into what makes a PS 'good'.
 
Birdnals said:
I agree wholeheartedly. I suppose I could have been more detailed in my question. My instructor needs a 'good' personal statement, and by 'good' he means one that appropriately covers what admissions committees are looking for. While he is a professional writer, he doesn't have any experience in field of medicals personal statements. In order to effectively judge my paper, he needs something to compare it to. If I gave him a crap PS that doesn't sufficiently satisfy an admission committee's basic questions then he may judge my PS as 'good' when compared to the crap PS (that he doesn't know is crap) because it covers the same aspects as the crap PS.

By the way, anyone looking for a good scholarly article on writing their personal statement should Google the article "The Personal Statement in Medical School Applications: Rhetorical Structure in a Diverse and Unstable Context". It was used as a reference in the "Not Another Crayon in the Box" series here on SDN and provides a great research oriented approach into what makes a PS 'good'.
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You realize that what's considered 'good' is mostly subjective right? Adcoms are made up of more than one person, likely with different backgrounds and interests. What resonates with one person may not resonate with the rest. That's why there isn't a gold standard. Just answer "why medicine?" and you'll be fine. Don't overthink it.
 
anguisette said:
You realize that what's considered 'good' is mostly subjective right? Adcoms are made up of more than one person, likely with different backgrounds and interests. What resonates with one person may not resonate with the rest. That's why there isn't a gold standard. Just answer "why medicine?" and you'll be fine. Don't overthink it.
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Do you not agree that having a professional who has made a living out of writing articles/papers/etc that are designed to convey a particular message while also broadening its appeal is useful? I'm thinking such a person would bring a great deal of expertise when it comes to helping me convey my message while also writing it in a manner that maximizes its appeal.
 
Birdnals said:
Do you not agree that having a professional who has made a living out of writing articles/papers/etc that are designed to convey a particular message while also broadening its appeal is useful? I'm thinking such a person would bring a great deal of expertise when it comes to helping me convey my message while also writing it in a manner that maximizes its appeal.
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I'm worried that will sound like a professional article/paper/etc and take the 'personal' out of the personal statement. But that's just me 🙂.

Rather than looking for the perfect one to use as a model, I'd suggest looking at and reading as many as you can to get a feel for it. Some are obviously better written than others... But I believe all the ones I linked to from mdapps are of accepted students. So you can see the range of styles from successful applicants.
 
anguisette said:
I'm worried that will sound like a professional article/paper/etc and take the 'personal' out of the personal statement. But that's just me 🙂.

Rather than looking for the perfect one to use as a model, I'd suggest looking at and reading as many as you can to get a feel for it. Some are obviously better written than others... But I believe all the ones I linked to from mdapps are of accepted students. So you can see the range of styles from successful applicants.
Click to expand...

Yeah I can see how that could definitely be a problem. My goal is to use every resource available to me in crafting my PS. Different people can bring different things to the table. I'm hoping my writing professor will be able to help polish the prose and structure of my paper to make sure that it is coherent and well constructed as well as vivid and readable. He's not the end all/be all for my PS.

I'm blessed that my undergrad adviser worked for the admissions committee at the medical school here before taking his current position and consequently has loads of experience in reading PSs. He's told me that a number of the papers they receive come across as BS or impersonal as you have described and is going to help me throughout the brainstorming/drafting/writing/polishing process to make help me avoid those pitfalls. He will likely be the final pair of eyes on my PS before it goes out.

And yes, I definitely plan to read as many as possible. My professor unfortunately doesn't have the time to wade through a sea of personal statements and hence has asked me to compile a few 'good' ones for him to read. I've sent him a few and tried to make sure that they were diverse but yet similar in that they all conveyed "why medicine" but took different approaches to reach this answer so that he doesn't get narrow-minded in grading/evaluating mine.
 
Birdnals said:
Do you not agree that having a professional who has made a living out of writing articles/papers/etc that are designed to convey a particular message while also broadening its appeal is useful? I'm thinking such a person would bring a great deal of expertise when it comes to helping me convey my message while also writing it in a manner that maximizes its appeal.
Click to expand...

I write for a living myself. I agree that having someone with some skill in writing reviewing your statement is a good thing. Most of the writing I see from other people is horrible.

I disagree with your instructor that he needs to see another personal statement to compare it to. What you should be seeking from him is whether the writing is good or not. His opinion of whether it's good as a personal statement is irrelevant. Frankly, unless he's got some say in whether your application is accepted, it's pretty irrelevant even if he has some context. Instead, focus on whether the thing is written well. If your instructor is worth his salt, he'll be able to tell you that.
 
Had to bump this. I found this book at Half-Price the other day, took a chance on it and was amazed at the content. The first half gives a succinct overview of what medschools are looking for and how to apply. The second half of the book are essays, along with stats of the applicants, and where they were accepted. They range from a girl with a 23 MCAT to ivyleague applicants who were accepted. There's also a section where they interviewed 3 adcoms from different school about the do's and don'ts of personal essays. I think this was totally worth the 7 dollars price tag I spent on it.

http://www.amazon.com/Medical-Difference-Edition-Graduate-Admissions/dp/0307945278
 
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popopopop said:
Had to bump this. I found this book at Half-Price the other day, took a chance on it and was amazed at the content. The first half gives a succinct overview of what medschools are looking for and how to apply. The second half of the book are essays, along with stats of the applicants, and where they were accepted. They range from a girl with a 23 MCAT to ivyleague applicants who were accepted. There's also a section where they interview 3 adcoms from different school about the do's and don'ts of personal essays. I think this was totally worth the 7 dollars price tag I spent on it.

http://www.amazon.com/Medical-Difference-Edition-Graduate-Admissions/dp/0307945278
Click to expand...

I remember reading that book last year at B&N while I was making my school list and PS draft. I think it had good advice, don't know if it helped my PS but I got in🙂
 
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