Looking to change my last name as a guy

[Anastomoses]

My first name is not that long but maybe weird enough that I get people asking "Do you have a nickname" or "Is there a shorter version I can call you" and I'm always like "no." I wouldn't change my name even if it was Dr. Aloysius Snuffleupagus.

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[Arkangeloid]

My first name is not that long but maybe weird enough that I get people asking "Do you have a nickname" or "Is there a shorter version I can call you" and I'm always like "no." I wouldn't change my name even if it was Dr. Aloysius Snuffleupagus.

I've noticed that when I talk to people, I get warmer and more accepting responses when I use a fake Anglicized name. When I use my Indian name when being introduced to new people, they get kinda curt and brusque, and leave shortly after.

 

[anbuitachi]

I think it would be so sweet if a guy changed his last name to mine.

you are a girl????????

 

[DermViser]

you are a girl????????

Yes. How is it difficult for people to understand this? Anastomoses is female.

 

[DermViser]

I've noticed that when I talk to people, I get warmer and more accepting responses when I use a fake Anglicized name. When I use my Indian name when being introduced to new people, they get kinda curt and brusque, and leave shortly after.

Or maybe you just think they're being curt and brusque, or you're giving off a different vibe.

 

[Arkangeloid]

Or maybe you just think they're being curt and brusque, or you're giving off a different vibe.

I talked to other Asian guys about it, and they all suggested using the Anglicized name in public situations. Some even suggested legally changing my name (to make it easier to get a job), but I decided against that.

 

[maxxor]

I talked to other Asian guys about it, and they all suggested using the Anglicized name in public situations. Some even suggested legally changing my name (to make it easier to get a job), but I decided against that.

Just use a nickname. People assume Indians and Asians have a "white" name in addition to their "native" name.

 

[touchpause13]

White people tend to get uncomfortable with names they have no idea how to say/spell

 

[anbuitachi]

Yes. How is it difficult for people to understand this? Anastomoses is female.

I guess very difficult...

 

[Arkangeloid]

White people tend to get comfortable with names they have no idea how to say/spell

Sarcasm?

 

[touchpause13]

Sarcasm?

No I'm for real. Are you the only one allowed to be overly honest here?

 

[Arkangeloid]

No I'm for real. Are you the only one allowed to be overly honest here?

No, I mean, it just makes absolutely no sense given my experience.

One of my professors (who I was close to, and who also had an atypical name), well, she once told me this.

"Just give up. People are never going to get your name right, so you might as well make it easy for them. That's what I did."

 

[touchpause13]

Sorry I meant to type uncomfortable. Christ I need sleep

 

[Anastomoses]

you are a girl????????

Why do people always ask me this when I go anywhere in public?!?!

 

[anbuitachi]

Why do people always ask me this when I go anywhere in public?!?!

I guess cause when i hear Anastomoses, I think of a really buff dood

 

[maxxor]

I would not be surprised if you are...wait, did you look at those cognition disorders I posted for you?

My name is unusual and I have never seen this phenomenon. Maybe I'll try a fake Anglicized name next week and see if people are warmer. Oh wait, that would feel like roleplaying. Too weird.

No, it's a real phenomenon based on the region of the country. A middle eastern or Indian person would do well anglicize in the Deep South or equivalent area (think Pensyltucky or similar)

 

[maxxor]

Are you even in medical school?

I think of delicate webs of blood vessels + blood rerouting. And me.

You are referring to a portal circulation.

 

[Anastomoses]

No, it's a real phenomenon based on the region of the country. A middle eastern or Indian person would do well anglicize in the Deep South or equivalent area (think Pensyltucky or similar)

Bzz, wrong. And the only time my cousin does it is when we have to give one of our names for an order or Starbucks. From Cali to Texas to Illinois to Georgia to NY...I have never used a fake name and never felt worse off for it. Not to mention...let's say this is true, why not use every opportunity to expose ignorant people to who we are...why not help to normalize this? You know...change perceptions, educate...just by being you and normal and Middle Eastern all at the same time? (or Indian for Ark)

We're not Ellis Island boaters.

You are referring to a portal circulation.

Okay, that's a tighter web. Fine, web is the wrong word...I'm always specifically thinking about the shoulder and scapular anastomosis.

 

[maxxor]

Bzz, wrong. And the only time my cousin does it is when we have to give one of our names for an order or Starbucks. From Cali to Texas to Illinois to Georgia to NY...I have never used a fake name and never felt worse off for it. Not to mention...let's say this is true, why not use every opportunity to expose ignorant people to who we are...why not help to normalize this? You know...change perceptions, educate...just by being you and normal and Middle Eastern all at the same time? (or Indian for Ark)

We're not Ellis Island boaters.

Do you wear hijab?

I am assuming you are younger than I am. Were you a teen when 9/11 happened? Did you get **** rained on you because you were the only middle eastern person in your high school. Did your parents lose their jobs because they had accents?

My people have lived through American racism twice. First with the Iran hostage crisis. Second with 9/11.

My standard strategy is if I am asked where I am from, I say, "where do you think?" If they guess something innocuous like Greek or Turkish, I just agree. If they say something definitively middle eastern, I say nah, I'm Portuguese.

You've got a huge privilege being female here. Males of middle eastern descent get the brunt of the racism. Unless you wear hijab, it's not the same.

 

[okokok]

Not to mention...let's say this is true, why not use every opportunity to expose ignorant people to who we are...why not help to normalize this? You know...change perceptions, educate...

I used to use this argument when traveling abroad (when Bush was president) and everyone was pretending to be Canadian instead of American.

 

[Anastomoses]

Do you wear hijab?
I am assuming you are younger than I am. Were you a teen when 9/11 happened? Did you get **** rained on you because you were the only middle eastern person in your high school. Did your parents lose their jobs because they had accents?

My people have lived through American racism twice. First with the Iran hostage crisis. Second with 9/11.

My standard strategy is if I am asked where I am from, I say, "where do you think?" If they guess something innocuous like Greek or Turkish, I just agree. If they say something definitively middle eastern, I say nah, I'm Portuguese.

You've got a huge privilege being female here. Males of middle eastern descent get the brunt of the racism. Unless you wear hijab, it's not the same.

I do not wear hijab. I don't even condone hijab - but when I was standing in line for my driver's license a couple years ago a woman in hijab walked by with her son and I heard a nasty little snicker from a rotund little woman 3 people behind me with "why doesn't she go back to her own country if she's gonna wear that" and I...well, I'm not going to repeat what I said but it was sharp and cutting. And I got a smile from someone behind me (in Texas) and that woman closed her mouth.

Last week a nice man helped me find a coffee shop in San Diego, walked me all the way over from his hardware store to the shop...and commented "you don't sound Arab" and I said "yep, some of us sound like this!". So that's my contribution to the war effort, Mr. Portuguese.

 

[maxxor]

I do not wear hijab. I don't even condone hijab - but when I was standing in line for my driver's license a couple years ago a woman in hijab walked by with her son and I heard a nasty little snicker from a rotund little woman 3 people behind me with "why doesn't she go back to her own country if she's gonna wear that" and I...well, I'm not going to repeat what I said but it was sharp and cutting. And I got a smile from someone behind me (in Texas) and that woman closed her mouth.

Last week a nice man helped me find a coffee shop in San Diego, walked me all the way over from his hardware store to the shop...and commented "you don't sound Arab" and I said "yep, some of us sound like this!". So that's my contribution to the war effort, Mr. Portuguese.

These are nice sounding, cosmopolitan areas.

These are not where I grew up.

 

[okokok]

Last week a nice man helped me find a coffee shop in San Diego, walked me all the way over from his hardware store to the shop...and commented "you don't sound Arab" and I said "yep, some of us sound like this!". So that's my contribution to the war effort, Mr. Portuguese.

This guy sounds like my grandpa or my father before I became a teenager who learned about stuff on the internet and started giving him a hard time. Someone whose parents were born in the same small town he was born in and raised in and raised his family in and sees no reason to ever leave and will die in. I bet he thought his comments were completely friendly and just making conversation, no trace of bigotry at all. I have to admit I'm kind of charmed by old men like that, but probably just because I grew up around them. I feel like they're just bumbling about.

On the other hand, when people have the same ignorance but make someone's life hell because of the Iran hostage crisis or 9/11, that's so horrible and inexcusable (obviously). I guess the difference is to me whether they're mean spirited and ignorant or well meaning and ignorant.

If course what can I say about this when I'm not of middle eastern descent.

 

[maxxor]

I do not wear hijab. I don't even condone hijab - but when I was standing in line for my driver's license a couple years ago a woman in hijab walked by with her son and I heard a nasty little snicker from a rotund little woman 3 people behind me with "why doesn't she go back to her own country if she's gonna wear that" and I...well, I'm not going to repeat what I said but it was sharp and cutting. And I got a smile from someone behind me (in Texas) and that woman closed her mouth.

Last week a nice man helped me find a coffee shop in San Diego, walked me all the way over from his hardware store to the shop...and commented "you don't sound Arab" and I said "yep, some of us sound like this!". So that's my contribution to the war effort, Mr. Portuguese.

1. You were evidently in a major city in Texas, as if you pulled that stunt in Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee, or parts of Georgia, you'd be run out of town.

2. I'm open with my name and background when I am in a city that is cosmopolitan and safe. From my readings of Ark's whinings, he lives in an area with barely any Indian people. Having grown up in the middle of nowhere, I find it hard to believe there are places in the US with no Indians. Even rural West Virginia has Indians running the local motels. However, if there are truly no Indians around, then he is in a place where a nickname would help him immensely. You telling him that it's weird to do so or denying the fact that people treat you differently based on your name is naiveté at best.

 

[Arkangeloid]

Whining?

In any case, I use my real name at the medical school (outside the medical school I have met literally 3 Indian people here. IIRC there are suburbs where Indians concentrate themselves in my city, unfortunately they are far from me.

Look Anasto, I like you and I appreciate your help, but my experience with using my real name has been far different from yours. Maybe it's because you're a girl, maybe it's because you're pretty, maybe it's because you're charismatic, I don't know. The difference exists.

And @DermViser : you're kinda making it sound like I can't trust any of my empirical evidence here.

 

[DermViser]

Whining?

In any case, I use my real name at the medical school (outside the medical school I have met literally 3 Indian people here. IIRC there are suburbs where Indians concentrate themselves in my city, unfortunately they are far from me.

Look Anasto, I like you and I appreciate your help, but my experience with using my real name has been far different from yours. Maybe it's because you're a girl, maybe it's because you're pretty, maybe it's because you're charismatic, I don't know. The difference exists.

And @DermViser : you're kinda making it sound like I can't trust any of my empirical evidence here.

Your perception and your interpretation of your observations is what is at fault here.

 

[maxxor]

Whining?

And @DermViser : you're kinda making it sound like I can't trust any of my empirical evidence here.

I hate to put words in people's mouths, but I interpret DermViser as meaning it doesn't matter. Maybe you change how you act when you are "Sam Jha" vs "Saurabh Jha". Maybe people think of you as a born-in-the-US-Indian-American with that sort of name. Maybe people do act differently.

Who cares?

If it makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin, just go by another name as a nickname. The end-result is you feel more comfortable and can connect with people better.

 

[Anastomoses]

Look Anasto, I like you and I appreciate your help, but my experience with using my real name has been far different from yours. Maybe it's because you're a girl, maybe it's because you're pretty, maybe it's because you're charismatic, I don't know. The difference exists.

And @DermViser : you're kinda making it sound like I can't trust any of my empirical evidence here.

I wrote up a very thorough response to your list. I would appreciate the courtesy of you reading those cognition distortions.

 

[DermViser]

I hate to put words in people's mouths, but I interpret DermViser as meaning it doesn't matter. Maybe you change how you act when you are "Sam Jha" vs "Saurabh Jha". Maybe people think of you as a born-in-the-US-Indian-American with that sort of name. Maybe people do act differently.

Yes, you got what I was getting at.

 

[maxxor]

For a couple years tutored the daughter of a family that is very close friends with the Bush family and staunch Republicans...and they were still so loving and inquisitive about Arab culture. My experience of America is actually that the majority of people are pretty amazing and want to learn...and will even change their minds if you give them a chance to do so.

You're going to bring up the Bushes as some example of America is post-racism? You are aware that family loves Arabs, I hope?

I never thought I'd say this: check your privilege.

 

[DocVapor]

Okay, that's a tighter web. Fine, web is the wrong word...I'm always specifically thinking about the shoulder and scapular anastomosis.

Oooooh, that's what your screen name is about. I always read it as "An Ass To Moses" and couldn't figure out why you would diss Moses like that.


/kidding

 

[Psai]

Oooooh, that's what your screen name is about. I always read it as "An Ass To Moses" and couldn't figure out why you would diss Moses like that.


/kidding

...can't unsee

 

[WhippleWhileWeWork]

You're going to bring up the Bushes as some example of America is post-racism? You are aware that family loves Arabs, I hope?

I never thought I'd say this: check your privilege.

So.Much.Love.

 

[WhippleWhileWeWork]

"I speak Arabic just fine..." and his friend apologized.

From which country have your people come?

So sad to see what's happening to the Syrians, right now.

 

[Arkangeloid]

I wrote up a very thorough response to your list. I would appreciate the courtesy of you reading those cognition distortions.

Yeah, I read through it. I see some of the things in the list that apply.

 

[croak]

Choose wisely because once you've made a name for yourself it's a real mess changing it again.

 

[WhippleWhileWeWork]

Edit: nothing to see here, blank space.

 

[Amazingmuzmo]

Whining?

In any case, I use my real name at the medical school (outside the medical school I have met literally 3 Indian people here. IIRC there are suburbs where Indians concentrate themselves in my city, unfortunately they are far from me.

Look Anasto, I like you and I appreciate your help, but my experience with using my real name has been far different from yours. Maybe it's because you're a girl, maybe it's because you're pretty, maybe it's because you're charismatic, I don't know. The difference exists.

And @DermViser : you're kinda making it sound like I can't trust any of my empirical evidence here.

Not sure how to make this sound any better but you seriously come off as a massive p........(syn for kitten). Sorry.

Who gives a flying **** what people think of your name at first? Make them like you (by not being so damn depressing all the time jeez!) and they won't care what the hell your name is.

PS I have an arabic name (not arabic though). Say it with the right accent & delivery and chicks love it. Just saying.

 

[Anastomoses]

Edit: nothing to see here, blank space.

But what did it used to say?

 

[Mass Effect]

Does anyone else get a malware warning every time they click on this thread?

 

[Arkangeloid]

Choose wisely because once you've made a name for yourself it's a real mess changing it again.

If I could change my name, I would change it to "Hugh Madbrough," just because it sounds like "u mad bro," but wouldn't arouse any suspicion that the name was a joke.

 

[Psai]

If I could change my name, I would change it to "Hugh Madbrough," just because it sounds like "u mad bro," but wouldn't arouse any suspicion that the name was a joke.

You're only trolling yourself

 

[Anastomoses]

Does anyone else get a malware warning every time they click on this thread?

Not I.

 

[Raryn]

You're only trolling yourself

Hugh Madborough?

 

[Kahreek]

White people tend to get uncomfortable with names they have no idea how to say/spell

that's why i call every patient john.
some get mad for it, but i dont care.

 

[Amazingmuzmo]

If I could change my name, I would change it to "Hugh Madbrough," just because it sounds like "u mad bro," but wouldn't arouse any suspicion that the name was a joke.

I had a clinical vignette of a patient with G6PD deficiency whose name was "M. Gains".........Myron Gains......

 

[Neurodelic]

Dr. Traaashbooat!

 

[Anastomoses]

Dr. Traaashbooat!

Only a minority of posts make me look to see who made them...but yours did twice. I'm not sure I understand your sense of humor.

 

[majestic red]

I got married and changed my name before starting 4th year and was advised to apply for the Match using my new name because it would make it so that I started out with my new name at my residency program. I just had to let my school's registrar and the NBME know that I had changed my name so that my new name would appear on my school transcripts and USMLE score reports. This is the way that I would recommend doing it. That way, you graduate with your new name on your diploma and will have minimal explaining to do with your residency program.

 

[majestic red]

Silly me, sometimes I forget that just because you can get through medical school doesn't mean you have the perspicacity to keep your own name.

Edit: I'm wondering if it's weird that my language is more bombastic when drinking. I swear there's a link b/w low frequency words and intoxication and burping!

For the record, I hyphenated and so did my husband. We just wanted to have same name.