Low gpa junior, don't really care anymore, what do with my life?

[jorge921995]

2.6 gpa


Bio major. Parents don't want me like living with them after I graduate. College was a waste of time and money for me. All those hard, stupid pre reqs like philosophy, physics or trig took the drive and passion I had for my bio classes, that I actually did like and hindred my performance in them. I've been shadowing a dentist but meh. I get the occasional suicidal thought here and there, but I just put those under the rug because why not? In the end we're all going to die anyways and it won't matter.


And I just don't care anymore. The semester started about four weeks ago and I haven't gone to a single class. I just don't care anymore. I just want to graduate and get A job.

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[thefamousboat]

You are obviously suffering from a depression at the moment, and nothing is going to magically get better until you seek out help for that (your school's health center would be a good place to start, although school psychiatrists are hit or miss in my experience). You need 1) a break (time for yourself), either this semester or the upcoming semester, perhaps in the form of medical leave, to reassess what you want out of life; and 2) to be around people who support you and who you're able to talk to.

It will get better. College is a difficult and disenchanting time for a lot of people.

 

[jorge921995]

Thanks. But it's so much more than school. My dad is constantly putting me down because he says other people are "miles ahead of me". I don't know what he wants me to do, it's as though he wants me to graduate in one semester while becoming a paramedic or whatever. I say paramedic because he thinks you can become one in six months, which is BS. I know it takes two years, plus I don't want to do that and I wouldn't have time anyways. I've gained a little bit of weight too, like ten lbs, and he calls me fat. At least I can Deadlift 445, dad! Then he starts comparing me other people and it puts me down even more and it's an emotional roller coaster for me. It's crazy. Sorry for rambling, but it just felt good someone is listening.

 

[thefamousboat]

Do you live with your parents? It might be healthy to get some distance from them, either emotionally or physically. The problem is that your father isn't allowing you to be your own person right now, and it sounds like this negative relationship is even more of a problem than academics are.

Ultimately, I'm happy to listen, but also just a stranger on the Internet and no substitute for in-person advice/help!!

 

[anoco92]

Thanks. But it's so much more than school. My dad is constantly putting me down because he says other people are "miles ahead of me". I don't know what he wants me to do, it's as though he wants me to graduate in one semester while becoming a paramedic or whatever. I say paramedic because he thinks you can become one in six months, which is BS. I know it takes two years, plus I don't want to do that and I wouldn't have time anyways. I've gained a little bit of weight too, like ten lbs, and he calls me fat. At least I can Deadlift 445, dad! Then he starts comparing me other people and it puts me down even more and it's an emotional roller coaster for me. It's crazy. Sorry for rambling, but it just felt good someone is listening.

I get how you feel, my parents are the exact same way, always comparing me and putting me down. I also suffered from depression and had low self esteem. One day I realized I wasnt a teenager anymore and had a panic attack. I looked back at all I had done and wasnt proud. Was this the person I wanted to be? When the answer was no, I made a promise to myself that I would take any opportunity that came my way. For example if a volunteer opportunity came up I would apply, doesnt matter if it was in my field or career goals because for me I learned each experience has something valueable to teach you. Am I proud of myself now? You can sure bet I am, and not because everything is perfect and stellar: I still have made many mistakes along the way, some which I am really upset about, BUT i am proud to see I have come a long way from where I was to where I am now. I am no where near as helpless as I thought I was. You dont have to be great in one day, all you have to do is take little steps today and little steps tomorrow. At least you will be one step forward than you were yesterday. Dont give up and surrender, keep trying so that in the end you can say I give it my all and tried my best no matter what happens. Even my mistakes along the way I dont regret because I learned something from them and I at the time I made my decsisons I thought that was the best option for me. Life has its ups and downs, sad times are a part of it, but so are happy times. Don't give up, its not too late to be whoever you want to be.

 

[anoco92]

Also, I dont know if you plan on finishing school or not, but if ever you do decide to drop out before finishing, give yourself time to replenish and gain some work experience. Maybe you can pick up a trade... work in plumbing or construction, work as a waiter part-time as you find a way to become a paramedic, whatever you wish. You may find that you appreciate school a lot more a couple of years down the road, and even return to school and get stellar grades and go to med/dental school if you wish.