I'm currently on my surgery rotation and I feel pretty guilty about how disengaged I am with the whole thing. I barely understand 25% of what the residents discuss on rounds. I did well on step 1, but it still feels like everyone is speaking a different language. So much clinical stuff just goes completely over my head, like brand names of antibiotics, different types of drains/tubes, pacing for advancing diet/pain management, and so many other things. I try my best to look up the stuff that I don't know, but often I'm so lost that I don't even know where to begin researching. Even the sub-Is seem to know what they're doing 10000 times more than I do. I'm expected to be that competent in 1 year, and I feel like there's absolutely no way I'm going to get there. I want to be a good physician, but right now I feel like I am less than useless. Because of all this, I spend all day trying to go home as early as possible while still being "helpful" enough to get good evals... And my attempts to be helpful usually result in more work for the residents. I.e. making phone calls for residents frequently ends with me needing to hand the phone over, I have to be taught how to do even minor procedures like removing NG tubes, etc etc. What can I do to be a better M3? I hate feeling like I want to leave all the time, I'd so much rather be productive and helpful. How can I make sure that I'll be at least somewhat competent by the time I'm a sub-I?