Made a big mistake, could use advice on how to proceed

[Madeabigmistake]

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I was accepted to med school in 2016 but as it came closer I didn't feel ready due to anxiety. I deferred for a year and after that year again my anxiety got so bad I ended up withdrawing.

I called the school during this time and kept them informed. The dean of admissions said I went about everything in the right way. I asked if I could apply for a second deferral, and she said they're very rare but if I felt I needed to I could apply for one.

The weird thing is she asked me to send her request directly to her email and not the admissions email which makes me wonder if it was a no the second I mentioned a second deferral.

When I applied for my first deferral they also asked me if I wanted it to be for one year or two years. In hindsight I wish I had asked for two years, but I had no idea my anxiety would get this bad.

It's been a month since I sent a deferral request and a few days ago I sent an update email (currently taking A&P and got a 100 on the first exam, plus continuing to work with a therapist - all things I outlined as a plan for a deferral if granted).

So far it's been radio silence from the school.

I know I messed up incredibly badly. My therapist diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (also mentioned in the letter). It just had to get so bad at the worst possible time.

Now I feel like I'm sitting in the shards of my past life. My MCAT is expired by now (old MCAT) and I heard people who reapply to med school after getting an acceptance have basically 0 chance of getting in again.



Does anyone have any advice on what to do here. I don't have another career in mind for myself but if medical school is no longer an option for me I was considering a health masters of some sort.

 

[Mad Jack]

Could reapply for another DO/MD cycle. MD schools would see your prior acceptance, at which point you'd have some 'splaining to do, but it wouldn't kill your chances 100%. Sad though, you cost another applicant their seat. Can you be certain you won't do so again?

On the DO side, they'll see nothing, so you'll look like a fresh applicant and can ignore your past. But as they say, wherever you go, there you are.

 

[Madeabigmistake]

Nope, both times I made sure to defer before another applicant would lose a seat

 

[Mad Jack]

Nope, both times I made sure to defer before another applicant would lose a seat

Good to hear, that's thoughtful of you.

 

[Disciple of Sattar]

Most importantly, you need to get your anxiety under control. I hope you are using professional help.

 

[Planes2Doc]

Most importantly, you need to get your anxiety under control. I hope you are using professional help.

This. Medical school will cause depression and anxiety that was previously under good control to spiral out of control. If the thought of medical school did this much, I can only imagine how bad it would get when actually going through MS-1.

 

[NonTrad16]

So you were originally supposed to enroll for the 2016 (fall) semester, but you got a defferal. You were then supposed to matriculate 2017 (fall) semester, but opted to request a second deferral, pushing matriculation back to 2018 (fall)? I guess I don't understand how that would work. I would have thought they would grant or deny your second deferral before the year started (so that you could enroll or walk away, as needed, if they didn't grant it).

So at the moment you don't know if you have a spot next year (2018), or if you'd need to reapply (with a new MCAT) to enroll 2019?

Before even thinking about reapplying/MCAT/etc (since that would make anyone anxious), I would wait to see what your school does. This is your best bet. Before/concurrent to that, all you can do is focus on managing anxiety and getting yourself to the best place possible. Whatever you do in the future -- medical school, graduate school, etc -- getting your anxiety under control will benefit you greatly. (For medical school, one could say essential.)

Hopefully your school comes back with good news, and you have a clearer path forward.

 

[ciestar]

This. Medical school will cause depression and anxiety that was previously under good control to spiral out of control. If the thought of medical school did this much, I can only imagine how bad it would get when actually going through MS-1.

I thought my anxiety/depression was under control before I started MS1 last year, but med school proved to be a new beast and the anxiety is actually crippling at times. OP, heed the advice given here. Severe anxiety at the mere thought of starting med school isn't a good sign for success once you start. You need to get treated and have everythint squared away before you even think about starting. You don't want to get there and need to take a LOA because of it.

 

[Madeabigmistake]

So you were originally supposed to enroll for the 2016 (fall) semester, but you got a defferal. You were then supposed to matriculate 2017 (fall) semester, but opted to request a second deferral, pushing matriculation back to 2018 (fall)? I guess I don't understand how that would work. I would have thought they would grant or deny your second deferral before the year started (so that you could enroll or walk away, as needed, if they didn't grant it).

So at the moment you don't know if you have a spot next year (2018), or if you'd need to reapply (with a new MCAT) to enroll 2019?

Before even thinking about reapplying/MCAT/etc (since that would make anyone anxious), I would wait to see what your school does. This is your best bet. Before/concurrent to that, all you can do is focus on managing anxiety and getting yourself to the best place possible. Whatever you do in the future -- medical school, graduate school, etc -- getting your anxiety under control will benefit you greatly. (For medical school, one could say essential.)

Hopefully your school comes back with good news, and you have a clearer path forward.

 

[Madeabigmistake]

Thanks, I guess my question was how to proceed with my school

 

[Madeabigmistake]

I thought my anxiety/depression was under control before I started MS1 last year, but med school proved to be a new beast and the anxiety is actually crippling at times. OP, heed the advice given here. Severe anxiety at the mere thought of starting med school isn't a good sign for success once you start. You need to get treated and have everythint squared away before you even think about starting. You don't want to get there and need to take a LOA because of it.

I am working with a therapist right now and I've made an appointment about possibly starting medication. Thank you for understanding how difficult anxiety can be

 

[ciestar]

Thanks, I guess my question was how to proceed with my school

I think you've done everything you can regarding that. You can always send a follow-up regarding receipt of your deferral request, just in case.

 

[Madeabigmistake]

I think you've done everything you can regarding that. You can always send a follow-up regarding receipt of your deferral request, just in case.

Do you think I should call them and maybe request a sit down meeting? I guess if any adcoms had opinions here it would be helpful

 

[SuzyQMD]

I feel you! Ugh anxiety is the worst! I would say try to call the Admission Director you previously spoke to and try to get advice from that person directly. Maybe even worth showing to see them in person!