???Marriage and Pregnancy in Pharmacy school...

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Melu227

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Hello... My fiancé and I will both be starting pharmacy school this fall. We are planning to get married the summer of 2019 (we already live together). And after, of course, planning to start a family. When we get married, we will both be entering our PY3. I know 2 years isn't that long to wait to start a family... but if we were to get pregnant, is this manageable? Will I be handling anything at school that could hurt me or the baby? Plus, who knows if I will stay and continue my education with a residency or fellowship. I will be attending the University of Kentucky.

Advice is appreciated!
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I think the bigger issue is together you will start over 400k in Debt. Yikes.
 
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Mlush0004 said:
Will I be handling anything at school that could hurt me or the baby? Plus, who knows if I will stay and continue my education with a residency or fellowship. I will be attending the University of Kentucky.

Advice is appreciated!
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Handling anyhing at school that that can harm you or the baby? Nothing teratogenic that I can think of at my school... this a social and personal I ssue; do you have someone who will watch your baby, how will you financially support your baby? How does your wife take time off for maternity leave... we are seeing incredible attrition rates in pharmacy school, some people can't e en pass classs, let alone take care of a baby.... from recent data from PDI, job market in Kentucky is not good, what is your financial Stutus/outlook? All depends...
 
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The job market for pharmacist in Lex is very tight (you def need connects there), but jobs outside the city can be found. I'm not too sure about Louisville but I'm sure there are stores no one wants to be in. When it was only UKCOP, jobs were plenty, but since Sullivan it is getting just a tad bit tight. Luckily Midway didn't open or it would be frightening...

You both can get jobs and if you live modestly, which is easy as **** outside of lex, you'll be fine after school.

Now while you're in school, I don't have a clue about that. If I were you, I'd get married, but wait to have a baby. Learning how to manage marriage and a kid is hard enough.... adding a tuff curriculum like UKs into the equation....
 
There's many other posts on this, but the summary is that getting married and having children (plural) in pharmacy school even in rotations is quite doable if the couple are willing to make the effort. However, these activities are a major strain, and the odds are against your marriage coming through unscathed (you need to plan for at least one unplanned incident where you're going to make a Hobson's choice between work and family).

The major advice though that I have about marrying before pharmacy school is always that pharmacy school has this weird tendency to make people think about themselves a bit more (who would have thought in the endless memorize these 10 drugs weeks?). People are rather different afterwards, and that's a combination of the schooling and the age maturity issue. I would hate to find myself in a position four years from now where that new me has different preferences than the old me in such a way that makes me incompatible with my spouse. This doesn't necessarily mean that you have not found the one and marrying now is not reasonable, but every year, there is at least one spectacular spousal crisis per class which you hope ends comically but usually tragically.
 
People do it all the time. I never see a rush in having kids right away, but that choice is different for everyone. At some point you will fall behind your class mates because of maternity leave. It could set you back a year because many classes are only offered once a year. I knew classmates who took their leave during rotations and graduated a year later. Or you could just wait...doing residency with a baby seems like a tough haul because you have strange hours and little flexibility, but people have done it.
 
Don't have kids until you're finished with school and residency training, if you pursue it. Just don't. I know people have done it, but why make your life more complicated than it has to be?

BTW, how old are you? From what I've seen of far-in-the-future engagements (i.e. more than a year), the couple usually breaks up shortly afterwards anyway. 🙄
 
My friend met his future wife at dental school and got married right after dental school. His wife got pregnant and has yet to work at day as a dentist. It has been 12 years and he still lives with his in-laws because they combined to have a debt of 400k and he is the only one working. He now has 2 kids and the wife stays at home to take care of the 2 kids. He works 2 jobs, but having a double debt pretty much kills your paycheck. I am hoping your wife can pay off her own debt or you will be working and living paycheck to paycheck.
 
MrBonita said:
My friend met his future wife at dental school and got married right after dental school. His wife got pregnant and has yet to work at day as a dentist. It has been 12 years and he still lives with his in-laws because they combined to have a debt of 400k and he is the only one working. He now has 2 kids and the wife stays at home to take care of the 2 kids. He works 2 jobs, but having a double debt pretty much kills your paycheck. I am hoping your wife can pay off her own debt or you will be working and living paycheck to paycheck.
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That is what most people don't think about. What is the point of going to school, borrowing all of this debt and not work?

People attitude change as they get older. Just because you want to work full time when you are 26 doesn't mean you want to do it when you are 35 with 3 kids.


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MrBonita said:
My friend met his future wife at dental school and got married right after dental school. His wife got pregnant and has yet to work at day as a dentist. It has been 12 years and he still lives with his in-laws because they combined to have a debt of 400k and he is the only one working. He now has 2 kids and the wife stays at home to take care of the 2 kids. He works 2 jobs, but having a double debt pretty much kills your paycheck. I am hoping your wife can pay off her own debt or you will be working and living paycheck to paycheck.
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I have heard same story about pharmacist couple. Both got married after school, wife had twins after a year of marriage. Now she stays home and he works hospital and retail. Poor guy lol IMO, in this job market i wouldnt date/marry another pharmacist.
 
There were several in my class who did it, so yes, I would assume that it is doable. However, having recently had baby #2, I think it would be way easier to wait until you are done with school and training. Unless you are pushing forty or something (then by all means, go for it!).
 
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I did it. I use one paycheck for student loans and one for daycare (basically). Now imagine my husband would have to use one for student loan and we both live off the other.

Were not saying it can be done, yall just better work your behinds off while in school, borrow as little as possible, read Millionaire Next Door and squirm when people talk about eating out, getting a new car and that 30 year mortgage.
 
I have been contemplating your situation. I have worked as a pharmacist for about 12 years. The simple story is this. I work with female pharmacists who work part time and are always complaining when they are working. They say they only work so they can pay off their loans. They call in sick when their kids get sick, they call in sick when they don't have a baby sitter, they call in sick when they don't have anyone to pick up their kids. They clock out and leave 1 to 2 hours early just because they have to attend their kids baseball game or recital and leave me with double the work load. They just aren't willing to work, and only do it because the student loans are forcing them too. If your wife is planning to have 1 or 2 kids. I honestly think she should just skip the whole pharmacy school thing and avoid the student loans. Is it worth it to have your wife work to pay off student loans and to leave your kids to grow up wild. Wouldn't it just be better to have your wife not go to pharmacy school and have no loans and spend time to raise your kids right? Once your wife gets a taste of the pharmacist work life, she will realize what I am saying and wished she had never gone to school and accumulated a huge debt.
 
MrBonita said:
I have been contemplating your situation. I have worked as a pharmacist for about 12 years. The simple story is this. I work with female pharmacists who work part time and are always complaining when they are working. They say they only work so they can pay off their loans. They call in sick when their kids get sick, they call in sick when they don't have a baby sitter, they call in sick when they don't have anyone to pick up their kids. They clock out and leave 1 to 2 hours early just because they have to attend their kids baseball game or recital and leave me with double the work load. They just aren't willing to work, and only do it because the student loans are forcing them too. If your wife is planning to have 1 or 2 kids. I honestly think she should just skip the whole pharmacy school thing and avoid the student loans. Is it worth it to have your wife work to pay off student loans and to leave your kids to grow up wild. Wouldn't it just be better to have your wife not go to pharmacy school and have no loans and spend time to raise your kids right? Once your wife gets a taste of the pharmacist work life, she will realize what I am saying and wished she had never gone to school and accumulated a huge debt.
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This describes majority of female workers with family. Now you wonder why some employers don't like to employ females. Many will call in sick, no show, and have interruptions multiple times in 8 hours shift to "take care" of their kids. If you point this fact that they become so unreliable because of their kids, they will scream discrimination, lawsuit, and harassment. It's quite mind boggling really. The one that calls out the most will also demand equal pay. I get that family is important, but this is totally bullsh1t behaviors from females in the workplace.
 
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. This is the world we live in.
 
Momus said:
This describes majority of female workers with family. Now you wonder why some employers don't like to employ females. Many will call in sick, no show, and have interruptions multiple times in 8 hours shift to "take care" of their kids. If you point this fact that they become so unreliable because of their kids, they will scream discrimination, lawsuit, and harassment. It's quite mind boggling really. The one that calls out the most will also demand equal pay. I get that family is important, but this is totally bullsh1t behaviors from females in the workplace.
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Agree. That is why I think pharmacy is a sh1tty profession for women who want to have kids. Majority of jobs are with long unpredictable shifts, crappy schedules, inability to take time off. I will def be discouraging my daughter from any health care profession.

As to planning a pregnancy while in pharmacy school...sorry, dumb idea. What if pregnancy does not go so smoothly and you end up on bed rest? How about medical bills? How are you planning for childcare, if in the mornings you go to school and in the evenings you work? In our area, a reputable daycare is about 1300 a mo, a nanny who speaks English would be $12-14/hr..so do the math...you'll be giving your entire paycheck to someone to watch your kid...
 
Rainbowdash said:
Agree. That is why I think pharmacy is a sh1tty profession for women who want to have kids. Majority of jobs are with long unpredictable shifts, crappy schedules, inability to take time off.
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This literally describes the complete polar opposite of my workplace.

The upside is young, single/married, childless pharmacists are the first to get tapped for overtime shift coverage. Same if you're over the hump and have grown kids.

I can't even begin to tell you how much OT pay I've picked up over the years for various sick calls (kid related or not).




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confettiflyer said:
This literally describes the complete polar opposite of my workplace.

The upside is young, single/married, childless pharmacists are the first to get tapped for overtime shift coverage. Same if you're over the hump and have grown kids.

I can't even begin to tell you how much OT pay I've picked up over the years for various sick calls (kid related or not).




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What setting do you work in? I am curious of the field where you get nice schedules, predictable shifts and able to take time off PRN as you state. I am always dealing with bitter coworkers who want all weekends off and also take a day off whenever possible. I would love to send my coworkers towards your work place.
 
MrBonita said:
What setting do you work in? I am curious of the field where you get nice schedules, predictable shifts and able to take time off PRN as you state. I am always dealing with bitter coworkers who want all weekends off and also take a day off whenever possible. I would love to send my coworkers towards your work place.
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Inpatient/acute care in the San Francisco Bay Area. Our call out rate is very very low, but we have staff available and willing to be flexible. No one appears to be abusing call out.

Send them over! PGY-1 or 2 and/or 5 years inpatient experience only.


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confettiflyer said:
Inpatient/acute care in the San Francisco Bay Area. Our call out rate is very very low, but we have staff available and willing to be flexible. No one appears to be abusing call out.

Send them over! PGY-1 or 2 and/or 5 years inpatient experience only.


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Darn, cant sent them.
 
The problem is there has to be one part of the couple that works "bankers hours" and one that doesn't. I work evenings/weekends/holidays so I get the kids ready/off to school/to all the dr appointments before I go in. Hubbs gets them after work and on holidays/weekends I work. If you've got both parents deep in debt working crazy hours youre going to not be happy. Promise.
 
I also get the impression that the OP is a woman.
 
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