Married couple, unconventional situation, top 20s...

[zaichik007]

EDIT: Closed. Thank you everyone!

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[gyngyn]

I do not recommend that you apply as an all or nothing deal to individual schools.
Instead, inform local schools when one of you is interviewed/admitted that the other is a highly motivated applicant.
Some schools will respond. Others will not. As long as the second half gets into a local school the pair will still be intact.

 

[futuremdforme]

As students, you don't have that much leverage. Since you can hold onto multiple acceptances until April, it's up to you to get your acceptances then figure out the best option for the two of you.

 

[Mad Jack]

Making your proposal an all or nothing one will result in your getting absolutely nothing. Do as gyngyn recommended and hope for the best. You are not special or important enough to demand such things.

 

[zaichik007]

@gyngyn so for example, if one of us was offered an interview at Cornell, the other should notify Columbia/NYU/Sinai/Einstein?

 

[gyngyn]

@gyngyn so for example, if one of us was offered an interview at Cornell, the other should notify Columbia/NYU/Sinai/Einstein?

Yes, at some point. If you guys are as hot a commodity as you have described, I would manage it thus: When one of you gets an interview, take the opportunity to get the admissions dean alone and let them know that your partner is also very interested. If you are admitted, they will be more inclined to view the partner's ap positively (they may not, though...). At that point you have to hope that interviews come in at the other local schools. If time goes on with no local interviews, an email to a school where the unaccepted partner is a very good candidate is indicated. At the end of the cycle, if you are not accepted at the same school, you will have to make a decision on how much distance you are willing to tolerate.

 

[Moose A Moose]

Psh. Just lol at your narcissistic, junior-undergrad mentality.

Schools aren't going to give a **** about you two and your "all or nothing" mentality unless one of you is about to win the Nobel Prize (and even then).

 

[zaichik007]

Psh. Just lol at your narcissistic, junior-undergrad mentality.

Schools aren't going to give a **** about you two and your "all or nothing" mentality unless one of you is about to win the Nobel Prize (and even then).

Hm, I just phrased it like that because former posters with this question made it seem like schools take married couples seriously, as opposed to boyfriends/girlfriends.
Can someone explain why an all or nothing deal is a bad idea?

 

[futuremdforme]

Hm, I just phrased it like that because former posters with this question made it seem like schools take married couples seriously, as opposed to boyfriends/girlfriends.
Can someone explain why an all or nothing deal is a bad idea?

Really? Well:
- There are multiple schools in many cities, you don't need to go to the same schools to live together (e.g. Stanford/UCSF, UCLA/USC, etc)
- Until schools make you an offer, they don't need to care about you. Maybe you're as good as you say (and I hope you are). Until they show their cards, you shouldn't show yours.
- It makes you seem incredibly entitled and they may think they dodged a bullet by keeping you out.

 

[gyngyn]

Hm, I just phrased it like that because former posters with this question made it seem like schools take married couples seriously, as opposed to boyfriends/girlfriends.
Can someone explain why an all or nothing deal is a bad idea?

You are not timing this marriage because of a perceived advancement of your "couple status" to medical schools, are you? If there is any element of this in the planning, please exclude it.
Even the Couple's Match for residency doesn't guarantee same city outcomes.

 

[Mad Jack]

I can't wait for the inevitable "how do I deal with being at the same school as my ex-spouse" breakup thread

 

[zaichik007]

I can't wait for the inevitable "how do I deal with being at the same school as my ex-spouse" breakup thread

I'm glad this is so amusing for you.

You are not timing this marriage because of a perceived advancement of your "couple status" to medical schools, are you? If there is any element of this in the planning, please exclude it.
Even the Couple's Match for residency doesn't guarantee same city outcomes.

Wow @gyngyn, I can't help but feel insulted that you would think that. I get that you're an adcom, but not everything in life revolves around med school admissions.

 

[NotASerialKiller]

Wow @gyngyn, I can't help but feel insulted that you would think that. I get that you're an adcom, but not everything in life revolves around med school admissions.

Gyngyn is patiently giving you advice and answering your questions. You're offended by the mere suggestion that that might have been a motivating factor based on how you phrased it? You're a complete stranger on the internet, you're really going to pull a "how could you think that of me"?

 

[gyngyn]

Wow @gyngyn, I can't help but feel insulted that you would think that. I get that you're an adcom, but not everything in life revolves around med school admissions.

No offense was intended.
Your phraseology in that post is what prompted my comment, not ill intent.

 

[Mad Jack]

I'm glad this is so amusing for you.



Wow @gyngyn, I can't help but feel insulted that you would think that. I get that you're an adcom, but not everything in life revolves around med school admissions.

I'm just being realistic.

As to there being more to life than admissions, that may be true on your end. But on the end of adcoms, you are a replaceable commodity, not a beautiful and unique snowflake. Approach the situation accordingly.

 

[Shafi]

You seem kind of stuck up. My biggest worry would be taking that attitude into an interview and then on top of that asking for a spot for your significant other. As an adcom, or generally as a human being, I'd be put off by that.

They're a medical school interviewing you, they have no obligation to do anything for you....and I wouldn't think of making any moves until after one of you is actually accepted.

 

[Banco]

The shotgun method is the best approach. Apply to schools in major metropolitan areas.

NYC: NYU, Columbia, Cornell, Sinai, Downstate, Einstein, Hofstra
Philly: Temple, Jefferson, Drexel, UPenn
Boston: Harvard, Tufts, BU
Chicago: Illinois, Rush, Rosalind Franklin, Loyola, Northwestern, Chicago

Etc.

Hope for the best. All or nothing won't work, but if one of you gets an interview somewhere then it may be helpful to let that school know about your situation.

 

[GiveMeThatMD]

I get that you're an adcom, but not everything in life revolves around med school admissions.

No, but a good chunk of the rest of your life does.

 

[zaichik007]

Psh. Just lol at your narcissistic, junior-undergrad mentality.

Schools aren't going to give a **** about you two and your "all or nothing" mentality unless one of you is about to win the Nobel Prize (and even then).

Yeah, I understand now that that wouldn't go over well. Thanks for the advice!

Gyngyn is patiently giving you advice and answering your questions. You're offended by the mere suggestion that that might have been a motivating factor based on how you phrased it? You're a complete stranger on the internet, you're really going to pull a "how could you think that of me"?

@NotASerialKiller I don't recall asking gyngyn about the timing of my marriage. This forum is not a place to talk about personal lives.

I'm just being realistic.

@Mad Jack I am genuinely sorry if breaking up with your spouse over med school admissions was "realistic" for you. It won't be for us, though.

You seem kind of stuck up. My biggest worry would be taking that attitude into an interview and then on top of that asking for a spot for your significant other. As an adcom, or generally as a human being, I'd be put off by that.

They're a medical school interviewing you, they have no obligation to do anything for you....and I wouldn't think of making any moves until after one of you is actually accepted.

@Shafi What part of my attitude is stuck up? If you're referring to the "all or nothing" thing, yeah, we see that that won't work. Thanks for the advice!

The shotgun method is the best approach. Apply to schools in major metropolitan areas.

NYC: NYU, Columbia, Cornell, Sinai, Downstate, Einstein, Hofstra
Philly: Temple, Jefferson, Drexel, UPenn
Boston: Harvard, Tufts, BU
Chicago: Illinois, Rush, Rosalind Franklin, Loyola, Northwestern, Chicago

Etc.

Hope for the best. All or nothing won't work, but if one of you gets an interview somewhere then it may be helpful to let that school know about your situation.

@Banco thank you!

No, but a good chunk of the rest of your life does.

You must spend way too much time on these forums to develop that attitude.