Marrieds: How is your spouse dealing?

[runningmom]

OMG! Congrats on the baby. Maybe if you get some bedrest you can prolong that labor!!

Thanks for the good wishes... it isn't that dramatic though. This is #3 and I've been over a week and a half overdue with both the previous ones. I'm not too worried about going into labor early.

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[runningmom]

WOW!!! Hopefully the baby will come on that exact day so your husband can be there!! Since my husband will be back from Iraq and out of the Navy in exactly 9 months, my brother thinks I should get pregnant now and just have a baby waiting for him when he gets home...I guess that's what you guys *actually* did!! Congrats on the baby and surviving another deployment!!

Well, I wouldn't say this is the ideal way to do it. We actually were not expecting this deployment when we planned this pregnancy. I thought we were being smart about it - so we'd have our family in place before med school started, I could stay home and nurse baby for a year (a big thing with me) and I wouldn't be pregnant for interviews.

So much for planning!! Two months after we got pregnant we found out about this deployment and I've already had to resched two interviews because I'll be too pregnant to fly!! Best laid plans, right?

The problem with having hubby leave when you first trimester is that you are skinny and beautiful when he leaves and bloated, swollen, and REALLY REALLY large when he returns.

 

[MJB]

This week seems to be particularly hard on my wife..she leaves for work at 6:15 or so...I go to work at 7:30..she and I get about 10-15 minutes to talk, then i'm in the office for the night...and hit the pillow around 11..

I keep telling her...just 3 more weeks!

 

[McMD]

Well, I wouldn't say this is the ideal way to do it. We actually were not expecting this deployment when we planned this pregnancy. I thought we were being smart about it - so we'd have our family in place before med school started, I could stay home and nurse baby for a year (a big thing with me) and I wouldn't be pregnant for interviews.

So much for planning!! Two months after we got pregnant we found out about this deployment and I've already had to resched two interviews because I'll be too pregnant to fly!! Best laid plans, right?

The problem with having hubby leave when you first trimester is that you are skinny and beautiful when he leaves and bloated, swollen, and REALLY REALLY large when he returns.

Ha...I could see where going from skinny and beautiful to *very pregnant* would be a dramatic change for the hubby to come back to! Luckily, it's your 3rd, so your husband knows what to expect. Had we gone through with my brother's plan to be pregnant while my husband is overseas-it would be our first child and I think being *very pregnant* when my husband got back would scare him right back overseas!

 

[MicroBugs]

Girls- I'm right there with all the "dirty" laundry... but he definitely does pitch in for his fair share. Runningmom- congrats on the upcoming newbie. Major props for you making it through all the deployment, pregnancy, and med school stuff, unbelievable.
McMD- yeah, I was back in the states while my hubby (fiance at the time) was overseas. He always wanted to go on a "West Pac" tour. So I supported that and now it's his turn to support me through this whole thing. I'm actually kinda glad he isn't here at the moment since I'm so busy I would never see him anyway. It's his last deployment, though. Can't say how happy I am for that one!

 

[McMD]

Girls- I'm right there with all the "dirty" laundry... but he definitely does pitch in for his fair share. Runningmom- congrats on the upcoming newbie. Major props for you making it through all the deployment, pregnancy, and med school stuff, unbelievable.
McMD- yeah, I was back in the states while my hubby (fiance at the time) was overseas. He always wanted to go on a "West Pac" tour. So I supported that and now it's his turn to support me through this whole thing. I'm actually kinda glad he isn't here at the moment since I'm so busy I would never see him anyway. It's his last deployment, though. Can't say how happy I am for that one!

Yeah!!...his last deployment! I feel the same way about my husband's last deployment-as much as I don't want him to go....I will be in my first year and I know I'll be so busy, so even if he were home...I wouldn't have much time to spend with him! At least it will give me time to get in my little niche in med school!

 

[jackieMD2007]

How do you keep in contact with him? Do they have email and stuff? Regular mail? How does that work?

 

[MicroBugs]

Yup- it's all by email. I send him little stuff. Like he's a major Tour de france buff so I took all the pics I could find this year, popped them on a cd and sent them out. Snail mail is hard since they only get mail calls really when they reach a port. Email is our life-line, of course, that's when it's working.... McMD- very true about med school and finding a niche. We have one more chance that med school and his next station wont' work out, but I have schools nearby all (hopefully i get accepted to all of them too).... grumble to this whole waiting process... but if it doesn't, maybe I can look at it the same way, finding a niche.

 

[Ebete]

Please have patience. You have many gifts, but the greatest of these is being a mother. Regardless of what our western humanistic philosophies are, motherhood is humanities toughest and most blessed job. That does not mean that you cannot and will not exercise your other gifts. But conflict with your husband will not solve your dilemma - love will.

As an example, look at Ms. Karen Hughes. She was initially the advisor to the most powerful man on earth - President Bush. Then she took a leave of absence to go back home and be a mother to her children. Now that they have grown, she is once again advising the President.

You have a unique gift that I nor any other man can ever have. You will have a unique impact on your children and on society - as a man, I impact my children (sometimes I impact them on their behind) but not with the same relationship that they have with their mother.
Since you are already practising dentistry in a limited fashion, be patient and enjoy your time with your children as well. When they are grown you will miss them. You really have the best of both world's now, being able to practise and spend time with your kids.

Blessings,
Sporky

What a nice post. It's nice to hear mothers are appreciated (jeez I'm trying to write this with my 4 y/o on my shoulders, a 2 1/2 y/o on the little space I have on my lap (prego 6 mon.) and a little one kicking up a storm in the belly

The bold...very funny!

 

[MiesVanDerMom]

ouch! hubby told me I'm a good mother but a bad wife tonight. the baby is teething, the toddler is having his anual round of painful medical tests, and I got my first rejection this week. apparently this makes me less than Susy Sunshine around the house. He later apologized but I thought I'd share this on here for anyone else not winning Spouse of the Year right now.

 

[mommy2three]

dh is dealing just fine with the process....
the only thing he could be remotely classified as currently is frustrated right along with me

 

[MicroBugs]

I guess I'll take the fact that my hubby is overseas as a weird sort of blessing. He doesn't need to deal with all the ups and downs of this process. Lucky him!

 

[exnavyflier]

I make sure that my wife knows that the process is important, but never more important than she is to me. I am at work during the day and at school most nights, then shadowing after temple on Shabbot. We make sure that we talk to each other for at least one hour every night to stay connected and grounded. She updates me and I update her. Communication, even though I am not the greatest at it, is imperative (sp?).