matched but unhappy

[helpmewithrol]

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This is for my sister-in-law who matched to her 13th and extremely unhappy to a point she couldn't even hold a conversation about moving to that state. She has not signed the contract or anything. What are the options available to her at this point?

 

[goodoldalky]

Take the position or drop out of medicine altogether. Good luck!

 

[EctopicFetus]

withdraw.. dont sign. In the end she opted to partake in the system. I personally dont think it is awesome but it is what it is.

To be honest she is likely lucky to have matched and if she didnt want to go to that program perhaps she shouldnt have ranked it? Im not trying to be rude or crass but keep in mind a lot of people didnt match at all.

 

[NERDY]

She could start as a PGY 1 and see if a spot opens up later (there are open spots listed on the SAEM website).

 

[RustedFox]

"That state"

I feel that way about a lot of states, but for some odd reason; my spider sense is tingling a bit here.

Its not like someone is asking you/them to move to Alaska/Hawaii.

I can see this shaking down: "I'd never move to... New Jersey!"

In which case... I have no choice but to say - suck it up, and cope with life. You're not a refugee fleeing the war-torn middle east.

 

[GimpGenius]

EM was competitive this year. I matched #8 and am danged glad for it.

Suck it up, buttercup.

 

[ensuii]

Matched in my middle third...it's 3 years. Suck it up and in 2 years you'll be able to dictate the terms of you're relocation.

 

[tetley]

I'm of the belief that if you really don't want to go somewhere, you shouldn't apply to it/rank it
I had a classmate from college who was #1 in his class in a top 15 medical school match at his 17th choice in an EXTREMELY competitive field (at a good school, but it was in the middle of nowhere)

for like ONE day he complained, then realized how fortunate he was to a - have matched, b - be at a good institution, regardless of location.

If she really wants, she can try and transfer. But it is honestly a little un-doctory to be this upset if she ranked the place - especially if you consider how they invested a significant amount of time in her to screen/interview/rank her for their program

 

[KarlPilkington]

Grow up and make a decision.
I have at least three students who would kill to have that spot.
Never rank somewhere you wouldn't be willing to go.
Lemme know if she wants out and I'll talk to the folks I know.

 

[The White Coat Investor]

Hospitals all look the same on the inside, and >75% of your waking hours will be inside the hospital. If there is ever a time in life when you can live in a state you don't like, residency is that time.

 

[Tenk]

"That state"

I feel that way about a lot of states, but for some odd reason; my spider sense is tingling a bit here.

Its not like someone is asking you to them to move to Alaska/Hawaii.

I can see this shaking down: "I'd never move to... New Jersey!"

In which case... I have no choice but to say - suck it up, and cope with life. You're not a refugee fleeing the war-torn middle east.

I can't imagine many places being much worse than what we did for three years haha.

To be fair it's not so much about the place you work but the people you work with. Rusted Fox and I trained at a less than desirable local but our staff made it a great experience.

 

[DO2016EM]

Agree with others above, be lucky to have matched in the best specialty in medicine. EM was crazy competitive this year. Looking at the stats and hearing about the types of people that didn't match, I feel very lucky to have a spot in July. Your sister-in-law should as well. It's only 3-4 years and then she can go wherever she pleases.

 

[filhodeinferno]

Seems like a dick move to rank a place and then pull out just because you "hate the state." That leaves them a man down potentially for 3 years, hurts their reputation, and takes a precious spot away from someone else who would have been glad to have it.

Take the spot or get out of medicine. Time to take responsibility for your choices, not run from them.

 

[RustedFox]

I can't imagine many places being much worse than what we did for three years haha.

To be fair it's not so much about the place you work but the people you work with. Rusted Fox and I trained at a less than desirable local but our staff made it a great experience.

Our staff was/is so killer. I was looking at the website last night and missing them all.

T-Town wasn't Terrible. Sure, there are better places. Lots of categorically better places, but it wasn't "unlivable".

 

[helpmewithrol]

Thanks everyone - I have told her the same thing as she was lucky to have matched. I think she's felt pretty guilty for her husband as well because it will involve a huge undertaking on his part such as taking more exams for certs, finding a job, etc in the new area. Bad ranking on her part but hope this turns out well.

 

[Dirt McFlirt]

I know the feeling. I dropped >8 on my list and wanted to die for the first two minutes upon opening that envelope. Then I came to realize that I am one of the lucky ones who matched at a place people would kill to match at.

 

[Brigade4Radiant]

I really don't get this. Keep in mind that programs 1-12 didn't rank her high enough to match. The alternative would be going through SOAP (which mostly means a prelim surgery year in a location she can't choose from.) Trust me some of my friends years back had to SOAP and it was not pretty they had to either choose completely different fields like IM or FM. Also its not like SOAP has tons of prelim spots at competitive locations.

Any EM program will teach you to be competent if you put in the work at the end. I can't honestly say that a top program graduate in EM is better trained than someone from a "low tier" program. EM isn't like IM or Surgery which is nice our fellowships are mostly noncompetitive.

Imagine literally being ungrateful matching into a competitive field in the year of our lord 2016 that is 3 years in length that makes 350k+ a year working <40 hours a week and being able to find a job at most 1 hour from every major city in the US which will allow you to find a job your spouse will be happy in.

 

[Angry Birds]

Ask the guy in the other thread-- who didn't match -- and see if he'd like the position.

 

[gman33]

I can understand being disappointed, especially when there is a spouse involved.

She can figure out a plan to deal with the next 3-4 years.

Not signing a contract is pretty much the same as just walking away from medicine. No program would touch her with a ten foot pole.

 

[Apollyon]

And that is why I say people that list their ROLs after 10 "in alphabetical order" or "in no particular order" are douchebags. I always think of the guy that matched ortho at SUNY-Brooklyn, which he ranked #17/17. Last person in line still gets in.

 

[GeneralVeers]

I agree with the above posters. As someone who didn't match, I was incredibly thankful to scramble into the "worst" program in the country. You can live anywhere for 3 years, and work at a terrible program for 3 years if need be. Residency is temporary, and startlingly short. After three years you can move to any state or city that you want.

 

[emergentmd]

I was lucky to match into my #1 years ago. Not sure how, prob EM wasnt as competative, b/c I was just middle of my school. Anyhow, from my experience.

Match day and you hate it - Life sucks
1 month into residency - Life sucks but it isn't too bad
6 months into residency - Life is pretty good, this place is nice
Finishing residency - Wow.... What a great experience. I might want to settle down here.

Grass is definitely NOT greener. Life would suck more doing a residency that you hate in a city you like.

From what I know today, I would be glad to do EM training in any spot in the world that doesn't involve someone wearing a TNT vest.

 

[DeadCactus]

There are two options:
a) shut-up and show up to orientation with a smile on your face or
b) make some stupid short sighted decision driven largely by a lack of perspective

 

[NYEMMED]

Correct me if I am wrong ...

The match is binding, if you pull out you are banned from the match system for the current year and the next cycle (2 years). Your application is then marked that you breeched contract if you choose to apply for the cycle after that. Basically your career in medicine would be over.

 

[Arcan57]

Correct me if I am wrong ...

The match is binding, if you pull out you are banned from the match system for the current year and the next cycle (2 years). Your application is then marked that you breeched contract if you choose to apply for the cycle after that. Basically your career in medicine would be over.

You're not wrong.

 

[JustTryingToHangOut]

Correct me if I am wrong ...

The match is binding, if you pull out you are banned from the match system for the current year and the next cycle (2 years). Your application is then marked that you breeched contract if you choose to apply for the cycle after that. Basically your career in medicine would be over.

Ouch, it doesn't seem she has any alternative if she still wants to do medicine.

 

[Groove]

This is for my sister-in-law who matched to her 13th and extremely unhappy to a point she couldn't even hold a conversation about moving to that state. She has not signed the contract or anything. What are the options available to her at this point?

Options?

1) Get some gratitude to have matched at all.

2) Give the spot to a colleague of mine who is FM boarded, has a one year ER fellowship, has been practicing for 5 years and has been trying for two years straight to get into an EM spot anywhere because he just wants to be EM boarded...THAT BAD. I've written him letters, my colleagues have written him letters, he's over 40 and just won't stop trying. He loves EM and to be ABEM means the world to him. He's offered to give up any salary at all and work for free. If she continues to have a bad attitude, give it to a guy like that who would gladly trade spots with her and go anywhere in the U.S. to be ABEM, and deserves it.


I get it that she has a husband and this is all very unsettling for him, but c'mon... it's match. Did she not have the discussion with him that every program she puts down on her list has the potential to be their new home? I mean, there should be absolutely no unanticipated surprises once you submit your list.