med school and a family

[lilmacstew]

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Anyone out there going to med school, or going to be going to med school with a family? I mean married with kids? If so how hard is it on the family?
I really would like some advice.
Thank you

 

[VienneseWaltz]

lilmacstew, check out MomMD.com. Almost everyone there has kids, so you will be able to get much more advice. Good luck! 🙂

 

[Tyra]

I will not lie to u---it is extremely hard. so hard i often question myself. i'll just be starting my jr year of undergrad this summer (almost done will all my prereqs--yay!!!) and it's been hard. but i hold fast to my feelings that i can do anything i set my mind to. it's just frustrating sometimes because being a mother and a full time student often means i don't really sleep much since i devote their afterschool time to them (which means i study in the middle of the nite and catch a nap b4 it's time to get them on the school bus in the morning). but it can be done.🙂

 

[lilmacstew]

I know how that goes. I have 2 kids. One is almost 2 years old and one is 4 months old. So when I go to med school they will be 3 years old or 4 years old, and 1 1/2 or or 2 1/2. I am not going to graduate till after the summer session in 2004. So I think that I am going to take a year and start medical school in 2005. I know how it goes with studying in the middle of the night!! It is rough, but I have to and want to do it for my family. That is my motivation. My motivation is to be able to give my daughter and son everything that I never had. And their happiness and such is what keeps me going when I feel I can't go anymore. My husband is in the military, so he is gone a lot and I know how rough it gets! But I know there is nothing that I can't do.

 

[manna]

I'm a pre-med with two kids (4 and 15 mos), so I can relate to those feelings of worry/doubt. 🙂

I've said this before, but I'll repeat it for you. I had given up on my pre-med "dream" for a while until I was inspired by my brother - who got into med school (on his third try, with an awful GPA), survived with three kids, passed with flying colors, graduated at age 34, and is now chief resident in his last year of a FP residency. I figured if he could do it, so can I. 🙂

You could also check out http://www.oldpremeds.org
Lots of non-trads there with some awfully inspiring stories. 🙂

Good luck!

 

[agent]

Originally posted by Tyra
I will not lie to u---it is extremely hard. so hard i often question myself. i'll just be starting my jr year of undergrad this summer (almost done will all my prereqs--yay!!!) and it's been hard. but i hold fast to my feelings that i can do anything i set my mind to. it's just frustrating sometimes because being a mother and a full time student often means i don't really sleep much since i devote their afterschool time to them (which means i study in the middle of the nite and catch a nap b4 it's time to get them on the school bus in the morning). but it can be done.🙂

I'm doing the same thing except im a daddy. I start my junior year this fall .. hopefully at Northwestern. Its extremely hard.

 

[pathdr2b]

Count me in the mommy/daddy doctor's 2b be on SDN

I'm divorced with one 6 year-old but I'm considering the unthinkable, getting married in 2004 , having a baby as soon as possible therafter, and starting a combined MD/PhD program in Fall 2004. Hard? I wouldn't say hard, but I would say I'll be fatigued. But I'll be the happiest fatigued woman on the planet!!!

I also know of a woman from mommmd that was a single parent and had a full-time nanny. How did she afford it? She had a 3 bedroom apartment and let the nanny stay there rent free in Palo Alto, CA. I think many of us parents in medical school should consider this option.

 

[agent]

She was probably in public assited housing.

 

[calipremed]

It is traditional, in my significant other's family, to ship kids off to their grandparents for the first few years after breastfeeding is complete. I may wait until after med school to have kids and I'm not even sure if I'll marry my significant other. However, if I do not wait, I'll likely choose that grandparent route. My S.O. really values that time and I think there is so much that children can learn from their grandparents, who may not be around for much of their lives.

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by agent
She was probably in public assited housing.

Actually, she recieved a subsidy from the government to live in a very nice place. Governemnt subsidy's often imply "ghetto" but I know of woman that lived in a buliding with a doorman and free continental breakfast that was also subsidized by the gov't.

Every state provides subsidies for families with low to middle incomes and it doesn't mean the family lives in substandard housing. In the DC area, some of the most exclulsive apartment buildings here provide a few units for lower and middle income tenants.

As for grandparents, I have to admit that I'm actively trying to convince my mother whose retiring next year, to relocate to my location while I'm in medical school.

 

[lilmacstew]

My childrens grandmother is also retiring next year. She is a school teacher. I don't think that I could give my kids to her while I was in school, because I would miss them way to much. Though ther are times I wish I had a break just to breath, they are such a vital part of my life, that without them I don't know what I would do. But if grandma could watch them that would be wonderful!!
I wonder are there any schools out there that accept more non traditional students like us?

 

[agent]

Originally posted by pathdr2b
Actually, she recieved a subsidy from the government to live in a very nice place. Every state provides subsidies for families with low to middle incomes and it doesn't mean the family lives in substandard housing.

I never said substandard. I meant she got some sort of assistance, which she apparently does.

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by agent
I never said substandard. I meant she got some sort of assistance, which she apparently does.

Noo problem, Agent. Just clarifying for people who don't know (As I didn't until a few years ago).

 

[coreyb]

Hello--I'm not a medical student yet, but I will be applying next year to med. schools. I am a father of 4 boys, work full time at OHSU, go to school 3/4 time (10 credits), and I'm also a 2nd LT in the USAF reserves. Is going to school possible with kids? YES. However, if you're anything like me, you will NOT have a social life. You won't have much time to yourself and you will be tired very often...

Is it worth it? I feel the answer is YES, but it took a long time to be able to say that with any confidence. I believe that hard work will pay off in the end and that your kids will see that. I also feel you absolutely must have a very supportive person in your life--mine is my wife, but it could be anyone who is there for you 24/7(parents, grandparents, friends).

So be willing to lose sleep while studying late at night, work hard during the day, and give your children as much quality time as you can--it will all pay off in the end.

Good luck! PM me if you want/need any details (or time management advice 🙂 )

CB

 

[agent]

sounds a lot like my life.. you are truly a hard worker.

Sorry to be an ass path2bdr

 

[gwyn779]

Originally posted by coreyb
Is going to school possible with kids? YES. However, if you're anything like me, you will NOT have a social life. You won't have much time to yourself and you will be tired very often...

Even if you don't have kids, once you're in med school you won't have much of a social life anyway. Seriously though, there are plenty of people who do med school with kids. If you want to be a doctor, then you'll make it.