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Med school and family life

Discussion in 'Medical Students - MD' started by Matt Norman, Feb 29, 2000.

  1. Matt Norman

    Matt Norman Member 10+ Year Member

    Feb 28, 2000
    Hello all. I am considering med school. I really want to do it. However, I am married and I don't want my wife to suffer for my dreams. To any of you who are married, or involved or to anyone who may know such people and are in med school. I have to know how much time is there for family stuff? I realise that there is a lot of studying to be done but I have also heard stories of med students deciding to party on saturdays instead of studiing( and this was from one of the Docs I work with). So what has been you folks experience. Thanks.

    Love God, Hate Sin
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  3. jawurheemd

    jawurheemd xx ToXiC xx 10+ Year Member

    Aug 8, 1999
    There's more free time in medical school than it seems. It's just a matter of time management. I don't feel that medical school takes more time than a regular demanding job. Evenings and weekends are your own time for the most part -- the trick is studying efficiently and effectively. Of course every school is different with varying degrees of demand -- I don't feel, however, that being in medical school will cause any more distress in a marriage than any other demanding job. This is coming from a married medical student who's almost done with three years of medical school. Unfortunately, I can't say anything about residency. Hope this helps.
  4. Matt Norman

    Matt Norman Member 10+ Year Member

    Feb 28, 2000
    Thank you James. I realise that while in residency I will almost be a stranger to my wife. I didn not, however, want to be a stranger during med school also. That would be too many years. I don't want my wife to have to make such a sacrifice for my dreams.


    Love God, Hate Sin
  5. dlbruch

    dlbruch Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    Sep 27, 1999
    jawurheemd- As one who is entering med school this fall with a wife and infant son, I am encouraged by your post. It is good to know that with some good time management I will be able to dedicate the time to my family that they deserve!
  6. Sheon

    Sheon Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    Mar 2, 1999
    Brooklyn, NY
    Making your family suffer for your dreams is a hard thing to do. I am grappling with the money issue right now.

    I am now working full-time at a relatively good paying job. Now I have to give that up and go to expensive NYC with no hope of contributing anything more than financial aid money to our household.

    Does anyone have any ideas?

    [This message has been edited by Sheon (edited 03-03-2000).]
  7. Future DOc

    Future DOc Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    Nov 30, 1999
    Hey Sheon,

    How about family support? I have heard of some medical students w/ a family getting some support from their parents until completion of medical school...almost like the undergraduate days. Explain that it will be just a loan until you are done with medical school. That should help along with your federal loan disbursements. Hope this helps!!!

    To Matt: Medical school is indeed stressful, but time management is key. Its truly tough but very do-able! Before medical school, my fiance' & I were very concerned about medical school really putting a damper on our relationship. As long as you communicate & do little things here & there, you can make the realtionship work (even stronger) & still survive medical school. For example, if you can't celebrate a special occasion on one particular weekend b/c of a major exam, then celebrate it after the exam or the next weekend. Keep communicating with you SO always & she will understand!! It help me so far!! [​IMG] Good luck!!

    WesternU/COMP MS II

    [This message has been edited by Future DOc (edited 03-03-2000).]
  8. JBuls

    JBuls New Member

    Mar 9, 2000
    Bozeman, MT, USA
    My husband is entering medical school in the fall. It was very important for us to choose a school that appears to value family units, as well as be condusive to family schedules. We believe that we have found this in the University of North Dakota. I realize it is difficult for most students to get in there because of state residency requirements, but here are a few of the reasons for our choice. First of all, the school is located in Grand Forks, ND (approx. 50000 people). It is not congested, it takes 5 minutes to travel everywhere in the town, and there is cheap, affordable housing available very near the school. The program is a pass/fail program, with a schedule for the first two years that has afternoons free, and several patient centered learning workshops. Additionally, the interview was so pleasent. The people there have been so friendly, and accomodating, as compared to the larger schools he also applied to. He had several successful applications, and although the other schools had much better reputations, they were in big cities, living expenses were huge, and the schedules were quite rigorous. There are other programs like North Dakota's available. For families, these seem to be great options. They allow for flexibility, and yet still provide excellent educations.

    The only drawback we found is job opportunities for myself. I am an engineer, and was concerned about whether I could secure a job. But, once I began applying, I found it much easier than I expected. I have already secured a job, which has been a great stress reliever. Additionally, the small town atmosphere seems to be more family friendly in its own right. We are expecting a child in the early fall, and my future employer has been very open and flexible, something I believe would not be the case in a larger, more competitive city.

    Just a little food for thought. We have been encouraged by this turn of events. My husband has wanted to be a doctor ever since I met him, and I never wanted to take that dream away. Afterall, it is securing my future, too. There are family friendly environments out there. You just have to know what to look for!
  9. Just posting to keep this current as my barage of medical school posts knocked it down the list a bit.
  10. Connie24

    Connie24 New Member

    Mar 25, 2000
    Middlefield, CT USA
    Hi everyone, it was great to hear eveyone's responses. I am 31 F, married and have a 15 month old. I have been considering med. school for several years. I was accepted to an "island school" in 1991 but declined. Now that I am older, have worked several years, I am now considering re-applying. I did terrible on my MCATs but will retake them. My main concern is my family. My husband doesn't make enough money to support our family. I am the "breadwinner'. I wonder how we will manage if I quit my job. Also, I wonder what my chances are for getting accepted. I do have my MA degree in Science and work at a Pharmaceutical Company. I have spoken to several people, and they have said that med. schools honor older students and have more respect for them. I am considering UCONN.
  11. mkhogan

    mkhogan New Member

    Apr 3, 2000
    Green Bay, WI USA
    I wanted to thank you all for your input in this topic. I am a 28 year old mother of 4, pre-med student. I have worried about the possibility of "ageism" that I have heard about on other boards. On the other hand, since i started my family so young, i won't be leaving a newborn or toddler behind during med school or residency...I feel confident in my family's ability to get a long without me a bit more, and that I have given them a good base of constant care which, I hope will better enable their independence.

  12. ptbear1970

    ptbear1970 Junior Member 10+ Year Member

    Mar 20, 2000
    East Setauket NY USA
    I am a 29 year old mom of two, currently working as a physical therapist. I have always dreamed of being an MD and the time has come for me to take the MCAT's and pursue this dream. I am a bit uptight because I am only applying to SUNY StonyBrook which is close to my home. My husband is so supportive, I am just scared that my dream may not be reached because of MCAT scores and limited applications. I am so pleased to see other people with families applying to med school. Does anyone have a feel on StonyBrook's desire for older more established students?
  13. jag51

    jag51 Junior Member

    Apr 6, 2000
    Slaterville Springs NY
    So glad to finally find this place! I am a returning undergrad, seriously considering medical school, but I won't be able to begin before I am 30. I have this biological clock ticking...Has anyone out there had children while in medical school? If so, was it managable? What was life like?

  14. abbeydesert

    abbeydesert Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    Apr 4, 2000
    I'm in a similar situation to Jen, except I'll probably be even older, 31 or 32, by the time I start med school. I'm worried about the "biological clock" bit too- did some research and found that, actually, a fair number of women get pregnant and give birth during residency. One study at Harvard showed that 1 in 8 of their married female residents was pregnant at any given time. And a number of residents have told me that unless you're in some killer specialty like surgery or OB, residency is not near as bad after your first year- less call and shorter hours (relatively speaking, of course;-).

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