med school with 2 kids

[hilseb]

I am starting med school this fall, and I have an 8 year old boy and a 2 1/2 year old boy. I have worked full time while attending school at night and juggled even more while in midwifery training, for which I was gone at least one night a week. I am not afraid of juggling, I just want to hear from some stories from some people who have done it.

Some people have done it, right?

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[Tired Pigeon]

No kids myself, but I have a good friend in my med school class who has 2 pre-schoolers & she is doing great. Another friend (male) has 4 kids and seems to be doing ok as well. One thing I notice about both of these people is they seem to be really good at managing their time & they don't really participate in the class 'social' activities. So I guess your experience will be different than many of your classmates, and you might have to make some minor sacrifices in terms of participation in ancillary activities, but having kids shouldn't preclude you from a successful med school career. Good luck to you!

 

[hilseb]

Thanks. No, I did plenty of socializing my first time around at college, and I learned how to say goodbye to my classmates and go home to my kid(s) in my postbacc. Not being hungover / exhausted from partying helps with the studying, too!

 

[NonTradMed]

I know of two students in my class who have kids. One has two teens (!) and the other one has a toddler. Neither participate in any sort of class social activity and at least the father of the toddler says it was really tough the first semester when he couldn't see his son awake but things settled down this semester and he's doing well. Kids and med school means more sacrifices than the average med student and also better time management.

 

[Pinki]

No kids myself, but I have a good friend in my med school class who has 2 pre-schoolers & she is doing great. Another friend (male) has 4 kids and seems to be doing ok as well. One thing I notice about both of these people is they seem to be really good at managing their time & they don't really participate in the class 'social' activities. So I guess your experience will be different than many of your classmates, and you might have to make some minor sacrifices in terms of participation in ancillary activities, but having kids shouldn't preclude you from a successful med school career. Good luck to you!

I'm a MS4 with 2 kids - I gave birth to both during medical school, a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old. It's totally doable and actually my grades went UP after I had kids, so go figure.
Tired Pigeon hits on a couple of valid points - I do manage my time well - I would wake up EARLY before my daughter did to study - that way I could keep evenings as family time with her and my hubby - I had a no study policy while she was awake. I would begin studying for exams before my childless peers - cramming wasn't an option because I never knew if an ear infection would derail me the week before a test.
If you mean happy hours, intramural sports, etc then no, I don't go to medical school "social activities" - but I think that's more a factor of my age (35 - I did my share of happy hours years ago...) and the fact that my husband and I have friends (with kids) and a social life OUTSIDE of medical school that keep us busy.
My medical school has MANY MANY parents enrolled - I'd say nearly 20 babies have been born in my class since we started 4 years ago - mostly to the guys, but there are gals like myself who've done it. So I guess it's not an anomaly here to be a parent - probably depends on where you go to school.
As long as you have rock solid childcare - especially in your 3rd and 4th years - you shouldn't have any problems whatsoever. Good luck!

 

[tiredmom]

I'm obviously a mom. My kids were 7 and 2 when I started med school. Pinki hit on a lot of good points that I usually bring up - scheduling your study time - mine was after the kids went to bed until I was done - usually 8:30 to midnight or 1 am. (I'm not as much of an early bird as Pinki I guess, but I can stay up nearly all night without problem). I don't do any of the "social" stuff - all the bars and frisbee golf and such. Most of my friends here in town (we moved for med school) are through my class - so we do our own stuff - shopping time, Sephora time , mainly stuff we can do either during the day or at my house (my daughter goes to some things with me, but our son has autism so doesn't tolerate crowds or lots of activity predictibly, so we tend to be homebodies). My husband is INCREDIBLY supportive - he's awesome!!! Otherwise, I could easily have gotten into the rut of not spending much time with the kids, but he makes it so easy to do. When I really needed to study on a weekend, he'd make it happen that the house, or at least the upstairs, would be quiet. But it's key to not have to cram, 'cause with kids, you don't have time. Our daughter has even come to class with me several times for lecture or lab (not gross!) when her school was closed for holidays and such - no problems from anyone. She even came while I TA'd some Histo labs. She's thought it's pretty cool that Mom's in school too! Long story short, it's doable, you just have to be organized, which it sounds like you are.

 

[Catalystik]

Check out: www.mommd.com to meet lots of moms in the same situation as yourself. There's networking available with women at every level of physician training.

 

[umlungu]

Three kids with awesome supportive wife here. Structured study time and priorities are key. I spend roughly 5-8 p.m. every night and all day most sundays doing family stuff. Then study after kids are in bed. Thur. night and Sat. night are home with the wife. Social stuff includes 1 get together with a few liked minded classmates, mostly non trads/ internationals each semester. I have been fortunate that classmates are willing to study at my house after the kids are in bed so I can take the wife out for a couple of hours every few weeks. Bottom line. Support network, prioritize, and structure. My grades are good but could be better, And I have to make the choice almost everyday to stick to the schedule and put my family first.

Best of luck.

 

[Haemulon]

I think you can definitely do it. I have 3 kids all under the age of 3. I am just gratefull that my wife is so supportive. All things are possible if you put your mind to it.

 

[lilnoelle]

I'm an M1 with two children, 3 1/2 and 19 months. I'm managing fine... and haven't even figured out an efficient way to study yet. My kids are in daycare during the day and I spend evenings with them. I take off most of the day on Saturday to study and my hubby takes the kids out of town the weekend before the test.
Its definitely doable, but as others mentioned, I don't get into the social thing with my classmates. Actually, other than mandatory classwork (labs, PBL, etc) I barely ever see my classmates.

 

[Pinki]

I'm obviously a mom. My kids were 7 and 2 when I started med school. Pinki hit on a lot of good points that I usually bring up - scheduling your study time - mine was after the kids went to bed until I was done - usually 8:30 to midnight or 1 am. (I'm not as much of an early bird as Pinki I guess, but I can stay up nearly all night without problem). I don't do any of the "social" stuff - all the bars and frisbee golf and such. Most of my friends here in town (we moved for med school) are through my class - so we do our own stuff - shopping time, Sephora time , mainly stuff we can do either during the day or at my house (my daughter goes to some things with me, but our son has autism so doesn't tolerate crowds or lots of activity predictibly, so we tend to be homebodies). My husband is INCREDIBLY supportive - he's awesome!!! Otherwise, I could easily have gotten into the rut of not spending much time with the kids, but he makes it so easy to do. When I really needed to study on a weekend, he'd make it happen that the house, or at least the upstairs, would be quiet. But it's key to not have to cram, 'cause with kids, you don't have time. Our daughter has even come to class with me several times for lecture or lab (not gross!) when her school was closed for holidays and such - no problems from anyone. She even came while I TA'd some Histo labs. She's thought it's pretty cool that Mom's in school too! Long story short, it's doable, you just have to be organized, which it sounds like you are.

That reminds me of when I brought my daughter after hours to the Path lab to study slides and specimens before our final - she was 6 weeks old in her Baby Bjorn and - you just have to get creative at times!!!
Like Tired Mom, I also need to give props to my husband - he's a saint! Normally, since I go so early to study or round on patients, he does morning drop off at daycare, I do pick up by 4 pm. But he's got a flexible schedule, so that helps when I need to stay late. I hoping to do residency in a city with a set of grandparents so I can also call on them to help out as need be - that's another thought - if you have family nearby it really helps!

 

[lilnoelle]

I hoping to do residency in a city with a set of grandparents so I can also call on them to help out as need be - that's another thought - if you have family nearby it really helps!

Oh how I wish my parents would live within half an hour of such a city. As it is, they are more than an hour away from a med school and more like an hour and a half from any other residencies I'm aware of. My husband's family lives 45 minutes away from us, but his parents both work full time in non flexible jobs, they have their own issues, including some health problems... I just don't see myself getting a lot of help from them.

 

[hilseb]

Check out: www.mommd.com to meet lots of moms in the same situation as yourself. There's networking available with women at every level of physician training.

Thanks so much for reminding me of this website. I checked it out when I started the application process this time around, and then forgot about it.

And thanks everyone for taking the time to make thoughtful replies. I am filing away all the advice.