medical school application and relationship problems

[radnguyen]

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Hello everyone,

I am 31 year old. I am currently a full time engineer (have been working for 2 years). Last two years I seriously thought about medical school, and taking pre-med courses while working full time. I got my BS and MS in nuclear physics from top 10 public school in 07 and 09 with uGPA 3.2 and grad GPA 3.8. I was accepted to PhD and worked on PhD on thermal fluid research for 1 year. I lost my interest in my research because it is too theoretical and has no "meaningful" application, then I quit and got an engineering job immediately. I am doing very well at my job and get promoted recently. Life is no longer beautiful when a big decision is made: a call of medicine.
I and my wife married for 6 years ( no children). I mentioned my medical dream to my wife 2 years ago, and she didn't agree and even threaten a divorce few times. She has complained about I am spending money for my pre-med courses for years. I am very frustrated. I withdrawn a genetics course last semester because of her consistent fighting and threatening. I know it is my call to whether pursue medicine or not. But I really appreciate your advices

1) Is it worth to sacrifice a marriage to pursue my dream ? If I get accepted into medical school, do you think the marriage will last if one spouse is totally against it ?

2) Is it worth to quit a decent job ( which you are trained and work for 9 years ) to pursue medical school which you are not very sure that you will be successful. High risk, high reward.

3) Here is my community college grade 7 years ago. Biology I (B), physics I (B), physics II (A), Chemistry I (A), Chemistry II (C), Org Chem I (A), Org Chem II (F, I missed the final due to a car accident without police report. I couldn't convince the professor to let me retake the final).
My university uGPA : 3.2. They are all hardcore physics and mathematics course.
My current GPA in 2012: Chem I (A), Chem II (A), Org Chem I (A-), Genetics (W).
How do you think about my chance to be accepted in medical school ? I have 3 years of research experiences with 2 papers and 2 year R&D engineering experience. But none relate to medicine.

I am sorry it is a long story. I really appreciate your advices. Thanks.

 

[ChE04]

1) Is it worth to sacrifice a marriage to pursue my dream ? If I get accepted into medical school, do you think the marriage will last if one spouse is totally against it ?

I mainly wanted to comment on this, because there are about to be a lot of people who are going to say that your wife should be "supportive of your dreams" which I think is complete BS when it comes to going back to medical school. In my opinion, it is not worth sacrificing an otherwise good relationship to go back to medical school. I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with your wife about your reasons for wanting to go and her reasons against it, and try to hash it out. Assuming you guys have no other issues, and that you love each other, I will say again that it is not worth sacrificing a good relationship to go to medical school.

2) Is it worth to quit a decent job ( which you are trained and work for 9 years ) to pursue medical school which you are not very sure that you will be successful. High risk, high reward.

Only if you know with near 100% certainty what you are getting yourself into. You need to do some shadowing, or otherwise get some clinical experience to see what life in medicine is like. Otherwise absolutely not.

3) Here is my community college grade 7 years ago. Biology I (B), physics I (B), physics II (A), Chemistry I (A), Chemistry II (C), Org Chem I (A), Org Chem II (F, I missed the final due to a car accident without police report. I couldn't convince the professor to let me retake the final).
My university uGPA : 3.2. They are all hardcore physics and mathematics course.
My current GPA in 2012: Chem I (A), Chem II (A), Org Chem I (A-), Genetics (W).
How do you think about my chance to be accepted in medical school ? I have 3 years of research experiences with 2 papers and 2 year R&D engineering experience. But none relate to medicine.

The 3.2 undergrad GPA is going to be detrimental, and you will most likely have to continue to take classes for at least 1 year to try and raise it and establish an track record of excelling academically. The research papers will help you, and your work experience will be looked on as a plus, but by themselves will not get you an acceptance. In general, you need grades, medical experience, and some kind of volunteering (to show you are a "good person"), in that order.

 

[abolt18]

i mainly wanted to comment on this, because there are about to be a lot of people who are going to say that your wife should be "supportive of your dreams" which i think is complete bs when it comes to going back to medical school. In my opinion, it is not worth sacrificing an otherwise good relationship to go back to medical school. I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with your wife about your reasons for wanting to go and her reasons against it, and try to hash it out. assuming you guys have no other issues, and that you love each other, i will say again that it is not worth sacrificing a good relationship to go to medical school.



only if you know with near 100% certainty what you are getting yourself into. You need to do some shadowing, or otherwise get some clinical experience to see what life in medicine is like. Otherwise absolutely not.



The 3.2 undergrad gpa is going to be detrimental, and you will most likely have to continue to take classes for at least 1 year to try and raise it and establish an track record of excelling academically. The research papers will help you, and your work experience will be looked on as a plus, but by themselves will not get you an acceptance. In general, you need grades, medical experience, and some kind of volunteering (to show you are a "good person"), in that order.

+1000000

 

[radnguyen]

I absolutely agree with you. Thanks a lot.
Some of my classmates regretted that choosing a challenging major at a top public school blocked all their ways to professional schools. Nowadays, everything is measured on GPA.

 

[wholeheartedly]

I mostly agree with the other two posters. The details kind of depend on you and your wife.
I think it's important for a spouse to be supportive of the others dreams, however both parties also need to live in the real world of compromise. If, as ChemE suggested, your marriage is doing well otherwise, you might need to just put this aside and keep your current job and forgo medical school.

If you can sit down and have a healthy discussion about her and your concerns regarding you maybe going to medical school (no her threatening divorce or you saying you're going to do what you want or whatever might be happening during this fights) then it might be worth discussing. The fact that she's threatened divorce over this is concerning. If she can give you specific worries she has and you can provide evidence that you've thought about those thing and have a plan to address them, you might have better luck getting her on board. For example if she's concerned about cost, have a mathematical breakdown of a budget, expected tuition, loans, etc to show her. If it's spending time away from you, tell her that you'll have a date night every week and books away by 11 p.m. or whatever every night except during an exam week or something. Make sure you listen and think about her concerns and not respond right away with your evidence. Listen and then tell her this means a lot to you and ask her if there's any thing she can think of that would make her feel better your goals or help you fulfill this dream. Fulfilling your desire to be in medicine and help people might involve volunteering as an EMT and keeping your job and not going to medical school.

You have some gpa repair work and I don't think you'll get into medical school without some support from your wife. If your relationship is on the rocks for other reasons aside from the medical school thing, then you need to think long and hard about what's more important to you: maintaining your marriage or chasing a dream with a lot of unknowns and risk.

 

[kimposibl]

I and my wife married for 6 years ( no children). I mentioned my medical dream to my wife 2 years ago, and she didn't agree and even threaten a divorce few times. She has complained about I am spending money for my pre-med courses for years.

What does she do? Since you're an engineer, I'm sure you make a ton of money. Unless she makes more than you, I don't think she should be complaining about where your money goes.

I'm sorry. But I believe you should use your hard-earned money however you want to.

That being said, you can't just take pre-med courses without being completely committed, otherwise you will be wasting the money. As other people said, if you don't want to jeopardize your marriage then give up on MD if your wife won't budge. I guess you will have to see for yourself what matters most, your wife or your desire to be an MD. No one can answer that for you....

 

[gopatriots1]

What does she do? Since you're an engineer, I'm sure you make a ton of money. Unless she makes more than you, I don't think she should be complaining about where your money goes.

I'm sorry. But I believe you should use your hard-earned money however you want to.

You must not be married

 

[wholeheartedly]

You must not be married

I'm not married and was thinking the same thing you were.

Marriage is a partnership with shared responsibility and varying roles for spouses. In some cases one partner might not work and instead take care of the household, so since they don't earn the money they have no say? Or each partner only spends what they earn themselves and what split the bills exactly equally? Most successful marriages don't work that way.

I think there should be a little personal flexibility in how ppl can spend their money. I certainly don't want to be in a relationship where everything is micromanaged and I have to check every little purchase with my partner first, but major expenditures like tuition should definitely be a joint decision.

 

[Elewynne]

Given the tiny little bit of insight you gave us into your life, it sounds like you and your wife have not had a healthy conversation about your medical school ambitions. It comes across as "I want to do this, so I've done stuff, she saw me doing this, and threw a fit and threatens to leave me periodically."

You both need to sit down and talk about this as adults, no screaming, no crying, no threats allowed. If one of you needs to take a time out during the discussion because it's getting heated, take a time out and come back to it. But you need to work out whatever issues there are as a couple, or else I can almost guarantee you will not be a couple in the future.

Second, you may need to have another adult discussion regarding financials. Obviously we don't know all the nitty gritty of your life, but if the money you're spending on classes is indeed "yours to do with as you see fit" - short of life threatening or otherwise damaging activities I don't know she has a right to complain about how you spend it.

My guess is that she feels overwhelmed by the idea of such a drastic change looming in the future. After being established in a "real career" for a while, the benefits and income can become so easy to get used to. She's probably terrified of living on the cheap and giant loans, and likely can't fathom why you'd want to give up the "good life" for something else that, to her, isn't really any different.

A realistic and frank discussion of all your thoughts, desires, fears, and plans, and allowing her to voice her fears and questions in turn (calmly!) may help move the discussion forward from the emotional deadlock it sounds like its in. Best of luck to you and your wife.

 

[abolt18]

You must not be married

Cracked me up because I was thinking the same thing the whole time. Not gonna lie, it took me a few months (maybe even a year) to be completely rid of this mentality when I got married. It was hard to not be able to spend my money on what I wanted and also be ok with my wife spending the money I earned on things she wanted. I take no issue with it now, but it was DEFINITELY a struggle for me at first.

 

[gman33]

If your SO is not on board. Don't go to med school.
I'd go so far as to say don't go to med school no matter what, but that is a whole other discussion.

The process is very long and once you start, it's hard to get out.

A shaky marriage will not survive this process.

If a job (medicine), is more important than your marriage, maybe the marriage wasn't that great to begin with.

 

[Esquire]

.

 

[radnguyen]

Thank you very much for all your insights !

To answer Why medicine? . My mother is a head nurse, and I was grown up most of my time in the hospital where she worked. I studied and worked 6 months on proton therapy. I know right way it is what I want to do radiation oncology. Also, my father suffered and died by cancer in 2008. I spent months with him in the hospital and it was a turning point that I decide to become a doctor.

Most of women is the center of the earth. My wife is the same. I work full time each day 9 hours. It is the job with deadlines and pressures. Once I get home, I am almost exhausted. I only have 4 hours left to study. All I have is complaints from her. She criticized that I turned to be a bookworm, and doesn't care about building the family. Everytime I take a day off to take the exam, she criticizes that I doesn't care about my job and ruin her life. I did sit down and draw a future plan with her that I will only be in the medical school for 4 years, then once I become a resident, I can make money and help out. Now, she only wants me apply to medical school in 2013, for only 2 schools near our house. If I am not accepted in 2013, then abandon the medical school forever. She makes me to promise her that, if not we will divorce. She told me she is getting old and don't want to wait for another year. It is almost an impossible mission. At this time, I need at least 3-4 premed courses. I haven't studied for MCAT at all. I have no volunteer or shadowing. My wife makes about 50k while I make in early 80k. She will not give up her job to follow me to medical school. That's why she limits my applications to 2 schools only. Sorry for listen to this unpleasant story. Again, thank you for all your insights.

 

[Shjanzey]

Hey radnguyen,

You are in a tough position! I don't envy you that at all. When you say it is an impossible mission, I have to agree with you. I am doing the same thing as you, but my wife supports me and helps push me along. I cannot imagine how impossible it would be without her support.

I cannot council you to ignore her and pursue your dream, because I think that would be ultimately wrong. If you plan to talk to her about this again, I suggest you speak to her in terms of security, because that is one of the most valuable things to any woman. You going back to medical school and giving up a well paying job, to take on enormous debt, represents a huge blow to her personal security. If you can somehow guarantee to her that she will be more secure with you in Medical School, I think that may sway her in your camp.

Try to find out what her dreams are as well. We are well aware of what your dreams are, but what are hers? You have to be supportive of each other...not just her of you, or you of her, but both moving in an agreed upon direction. She seems to want a family, and soon. This could also be a major reason for her resistance. She may feel that she will be left alone to work, and raise the children, while you are off pursuing "yet another pipe-dream".

I wish you luck in your dreams. I hope you guys can come to an agreement where it will work for both of you.

-S

Thank you very much for all your insights !

To answer Why medicine? . My mother is a head nurse, and I was grown up most of my time in the hospital where she worked. I studied and worked 6 months on proton therapy. I know right way it is what I want to do radiation oncology. Also, my father suffered and died by cancer in 2008. I spent months with him in the hospital and it was a turning point that I decide to become a doctor.

Most of women is the center of the earth. My wife is the same. I work full time each day 9 hours. It is the job with deadlines and pressures. Once I get home, I am almost exhausted. I only have 4 hours left to study. All I have is complaints from her. She criticized that I turned to be a bookworm, and doesn't care about building the family. Everytime I take a day off to take the exam, she criticizes that I doesn't care about my job and ruin her life. I did sit down and draw a future plan with her that I will only be in the medical school for 4 years, then once I become a resident, I can make money and help out. Now, she only wants me apply to medical school in 2013, for only 2 schools near our house. If I am not accepted in 2013, then abandon the medical school forever. She makes me to promise her that, if not we will divorce. She told me she is getting old and don't want to wait for another year. It is almost an impossible mission. At this time, I need at least 3-4 premed courses. I haven't studied for MCAT at all. I have no volunteer or shadowing. My wife makes about 50k while I make in early 80k. She will not give up her job to follow me to medical school. That's why she limits my applications to 2 schools only. Sorry for listen to this unpleasant story. Again, thank you for all your insights.

 

[NuttyEngDude]

Hey there, you have a very very difficult path. In creating your med school plans, be sure to look at the verbal reasoning section of the MCAT and make sure it is addressed from the start. There are a lot of people, many of whom do not have English as their first language that are kept out of med school due to a poor verbal reasoning score. Please take this into account when you perform your risk/reward assessment and when you create your plan for success. My suggestion is to take a sample verbal section now via a free kaplan test or other and incorporate it into your future plans.

Also, this is a very tiring and stressful path and you need to make sure your spouse is on board, 100%. If not, then as others have said, you both need to seriously address this. I am single and I am old but I know if I did not have my family on board to offer their approval, it would be much tougher. The material is voluminous and in some cases pretty difficult. It would be magnitudes harder to learn, digest, and internalize if I knew or felt I was disappointing those I cared about in the process, even if it was subtle. Good luck.

 

[Solus]

I and my wife married for 6 years ( no children). I mentioned my medical dream to my wife 2 years ago, and she didn't agree and even threaten a divorce few times. She has complained about I am spending money for my pre-med courses for years. I am very frustrated. I withdrawn a genetics course last semester because of her consistent fighting and threatening. I know it is my call to whether pursue medicine or not. But I really appreciate your advices.

In my honest opinion, I don't think you can succeed in pre-med->med school->residency with that kind of baggage.

It sounds to me there are deeper issues that need to be addressed here, and they should probably be addressed before you enroll in school again. If your wife is threatening divorce because you are taking college courses, THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. She's either very childish, or the two of you have a SERIOUS communication problem. There are likely also trust issues, and disparate expectations and goal sets between the two of you.

I don't think you should give up on your dreams, but I also don't think it's prudent to throw away a 6 year marriage, if it can be avoided. That doesn't mean cave to her demands and live out the remainder of your life asking yourself "what if". But I definitely think you should address the issues in your marriage before making any major life altering decisions (like going to medical school)

Good luck , and hope thinks work out.

 

[Solus]

Hey radnguyen,

You are in a tough position! I don't envy you that at all. When you say it is an impossible mission, I have to agree with you. I am doing the same thing as you, but my wife supports me and helps push me along. I cannot imagine how impossible it would be without her support.

I cannot council you to ignore her and pursue your dream, because I think that would be ultimately wrong. If you plan to talk to her about this again, I suggest you speak to her in terms of security, because that is one of the most valuable things to any woman. You going back to medical school and giving up a well paying job, to take on enormous debt, represents a huge blow to her personal security. If you can somehow guarantee to her that she will be more secure with you in Medical School, I think that may sway her in your camp.

Try to find out what her dreams are as well. We are well aware of what your dreams are, but what are hers? You have to be supportive of each other...not just her of you, or you of her, but both moving in an agreed upon direction. She seems to want a family, and soon. This could also be a major reason for her resistance. She may feel that she will be left alone to work, and raise the children, while you are off pursuing "yet another pipe-dream".

I wish you luck in your dreams. I hope you guys can come to an agreement where it will work for both of you.

-S

+1000000. This is a damn sexy post.

 

[cabinbuilder]

I will probably be soo chewed for this: I had the opposite problem since I was the wife. I always wanted to go to medical school but my first husband didn't support the idea and refused to even consider the possibility and stated he would never move out of state. My days were always filled with fights about money and the fact that my degree wasn't helping me and that he would always make more money than me even though I went to college. blah,blah, blah. I worked two jobs, got my degree, had two kids and put my dreams on hold. He finally left after having an affair. I was pretty sure it was over and planned for the inevitable and went back and did a post-bac year and secretly started applying. Took me three years to get accepted. In that time he filed for divorce and all the legal bull was settled. We had been together for 14 years.

I went to medical school with my two small children, my boyrfriend tagged along and we eventually got married.

That was 12 years ago. I make 6 figures and my ex is still with his bitch and lives in poverty. If your wife keeps threatening divorce, I would pack her stuff and say goodbye. Seriously? I don't live under threats.

LIVE FOR YOURSELF. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE MISERABLE.

 

[kimposibl]

You must not be married

Not married. I also know from all my male married friends who say, "Happy wife, happy life." OP's situation looks like a power struggle if you ask me. Threatening divorce? I don't have to be married or be a marriage counselor to see that this is a pretty bad situation.

I understand that marriage is compromising and sharing, but you don't have to do this with finances, which is one of the top reasons why married couples divorce (behind "growing distant"). Bread winners shouldn't have all or most of the power to make executive decisions that will affect both parties, but sharing a life doesn't have to equal sharing money (unless its for shared expenses). OP's wife's main point is the money (based on what he says). So unless she contributes, I don't think she should complain about it. If he's using some of her money to pay for his schooling, then he should listen to her. If it is something more, like future uncertainty, emotional withdrawal from stress, or moving to a different State, the situation is a bit different.

But then again, this is an opinion of an unattached woman. Sorry if its too independent. Nevertheless, good luck, OP.

 

[kimposibl]

That was 12 years ago. I make 6 figures and my ex is still with his bitch and lives in poverty. If your wife keeps threatening divorce, I would pack her stuff and say goodbye. Seriously? I don't live under threats.

LIVE FOR YOURSELF. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE MISERABLE.

👍👍👍👍👍

 

[radnguyen]

With 6 year marriage, emotionally it is not easy to pack up and say good bye. Being threatening a divorce is a very stressful time for me, and for everyone in general I believe. Divorce because of medical school doesn't make sense to me at all. Sometimes I don't want to go home after work to avoid the medical school conversation with her. I pay for the house and all insurances while my wife only pays for her spending.
How can you convince your spouse that everything is financially OK when you are in medical school ? How about having children while in medical school or after medical school ?
Her most fear is that she can not find another job at a different state and doesn't have any children when I finish medical school.

If I apply this year ( only 3 medical schools in my state), do you think I stand any chance ?
Recall:
my uGPA = 3.2, grad GPA = 3.8, major = engineering physics at top 10 public engineering school.
One year in PhD, but took a leave of absence. Not complete.
No volunteering, No shadowing.
3 years in research + more than 2 years as a full time engineering.

My plan: take some volunteers ASAP. Take MCAT in July and aim for 30.

Thanks a lot.

 

[cabinbuilder]

How can you convince your spouse that everything is financially OK when you are in medical school ?You can't. You have to prepare the best you can. Take loans our just like the rest of us, get through. She has to learn to trust you.


How about having children while in medical school or after medical school ? Not sure why this is even a question when she is the one who will be pregnant, not you, the med student. Just like military wives, pilots wives, trucker's wives. You just deal with it and have the baby. But for heavens sake don't get pregnant to fix your marriage. It will only make your life stress worse.

Her most fear is that she can not find another job at a different state and doesn't have any children when I finish medical school. Maybe she needs to google and put her resume out there in anticipation. Make some plans. Get pregnant if she wants.

Maybe she needs to get some counseling and have her anxiety analyzed.

 

[Elewynne]

Given some more information, I would heartily recommend some marriage counseling. It sounds like it could only benefit you both on some issues in general, and may help with this situation in particular.

 

[JohnsonJohnson]

Hello everyone,

I am 31 year old. I am currently a full time engineer (have been working for 2 years). Last two years I seriously thought about medical school, and taking pre-med courses while working full time. I got my BS and MS in nuclear physics from top 10 public school in 07 and 09 with uGPA 3.2 and grad GPA 3.8. I was accepted to PhD and worked on PhD on thermal fluid research for 1 year. I lost my interest in my research because it is too theoretical and has no "meaningful" application, then I quit and got an engineering job immediately. I am doing very well at my job and get promoted recently. Life is no longer beautiful when a big decision is made: a call of medicine.
I and my wife married for 6 years ( no children). I mentioned my medical dream to my wife 2 years ago, and she didn't agree and even threaten a divorce few times. She has complained about I am spending money for my pre-med courses for years. I am very frustrated. I withdrawn a genetics course last semester because of her consistent fighting and threatening. I know it is my call to whether pursue medicine or not. But I really appreciate your advices

1) Is it worth to sacrifice a marriage to pursue my dream ? If I get accepted into medical school, do you think the marriage will last if one spouse is totally against it ?

2) Is it worth to quit a decent job ( which you are trained and work for 9 years ) to pursue medical school which you are not very sure that you will be successful. High risk, high reward.

3) Here is my community college grade 7 years ago. Biology I (B), physics I (B), physics II (A), Chemistry I (A), Chemistry II (C), Org Chem I (A), Org Chem II (F, I missed the final due to a car accident without police report. I couldn't convince the professor to let me retake the final).
My university uGPA : 3.2. They are all hardcore physics and mathematics course.
My current GPA in 2012: Chem I (A), Chem II (A), Org Chem I (A-), Genetics (W).
How do you think about my chance to be accepted in medical school ? I have 3 years of research experiences with 2 papers and 2 year R&D engineering experience. But none relate to medicine.

I am sorry it is a long story. I really appreciate your advices. Thanks.

OP - when I first read your post I was in disbelief.

I thought I somehow sleepwalked, made an account, and made this post myself. My last name is also Nguyen.

I am the very same situation as yours - except I have a degree in biochem - working in Pharma and has been married for 3 years.

My wife is very against me going to medicine and give up my 70K/year job - she does not work and is currently pregnant. When I told her I will be spending about 5K next year applying to med school and travelling for interviews, she threw a huge tantrum threatening divorce.

Medicine has been my dream - and I am in the same situation as yours - not knowing what to do.

 

[MurumErumpendum]

It's sad to hear stories like these, but the problem here is that issues like these have nothing to do with medical school. The argument could have been the same about pretty much anything else where two people strongly disagree with each other. Having been in a long relationship myself which I finally ended, I have since noticed that any relationship that involves hatred/disrespect about any subject is not worth having. You can look up the research into couples and how precisely they're able to predict the divorce probability by just listening to a few minutes of conversation. Sorry, I don't remember the study right now and don't want to look for it. Needless to say, I've been very happy with my new partner.

The bottom line, I would not approach this as a medschool problem. You are going to invest your life with this person and have a family, which is far more important than any professional degree you might obtain. Your task is to find out if you have a robust relationship, which includes love and kindness. Other than that, listening to only one side of the story will not result in any just advice.

 

[TriagePreMed]

I'm going to go into the camp that you should leave her and pursue your dream. The truth is that life is short and it doesn't sound like a good life to have someone that's always trying to fight with you and stress you out with threats of divorce only because you have dreams. At the end of the day, however, it is your call. You need to know if you can live with yourself for letting your dreams go and that you won't resent her for forcing your hand.

 

[Patassa]

I'd agree with those that are saying that clearly, there are bigger issues at play here. A professional might be needed and quite valuable to you both. I wouldn't look to these anonymous opinions for much help, including this one, unless you came to hear what you wanted to hear.

 

[gopatriots1]

OP, you have received some good advice here. I agree with the posters that suggest marriage counseling. Your wife basically gives you zero chance to get accepted with her application guidelines (2 close schools, quick application, etc). I also worry that if you do decide to keep pursuing medicine that the relationship will be very emotionally draining on you to the point where it can affect your school work. I would advise you to address the marriage issues before continuing.

Another thought...you mentioned that you wanted to be in radiation oncology? I'm sure you know that this is an extremely competitive field that is hard to match in. Given your physics background, have you considered getting a PhD in medical physics and becoming a medical physicist? They make $150k+ a year and can do it with a PhD (no med school debt!) and work alongside the oncologist in treating cancer. Something to look into.

 

[radnguyen]

Thanks so much for your all advices. It is very kind.
After a long discussion with my spouse, she is ok for me to apply 10 medical schools and willing to follow me to whereever I get accepted. But only this year application. I always hope she will change her views on medicine and will be supportive and stand by me on this medical lengthy road.
Yes, in grad school, I took many radiological science courses offered by accredited medical physics program such as radiation biology, radiotherapy physics, medical imaging and so on. I love the material a lot. But the point is medical physics is too focus on the physics part and mostly forgets the medical part. If we don't understand the biology of human body thoroughly , how can we treat cancer ??? That's why in the past, 39 out of 40 brain cancer patients died in BNCT radiation treatment because these physicists did not understand the biological effect by radiation on human cell. All they did is just calculate the dose and the beam, and treated patients like animals. In addition, it is very difficult to find a residency in MP. The job outlook for medical physicists without experiences is not promising. Not many medical physicists work directly in treatment planning with radiation oncologist though. I heard that most of medical physicists does quality assurance work as well. Yes, I considered that MP option. To be honest, if MP wants to be more competitive, they must charge money like medical school so that every MP students have a chance to obtain more clinical experiences.
I agree that the problem I am encountering with is not medical school problem but our relationship problem. Again, thanks a lot. I highly appreciate your insights.

 

[radnguyen]

By the way, I read many of your stories on Why medicine, and really admire your courage and determination ( for example cabibuilder life story and what she has accomplished). Perhaps, we could learn from one of humanity's greatest artists, Michelangelo: "The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it".
If I am too conservative to calculate the risk of not be become a radiation oncologist, then I will never consider to apply to medical school at the beginning. 🙂

 

[proclus]

By the way, I read many of your stories on Why medicine, and really admire your courage and determination ( for example cabibuilder life story and what she has accomplished). Perhaps, we could learn from one of humanity’s greatest artists, Michelangelo: “The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it”.
If I am too conservative to calculate the risk of not be become a radiation oncologist, then I will never consider to apply to medical school at the beginning. 🙂

Is there a "Why Medicine" section that I missed?

 

[BuddyTheElf]

Is there a "Why Medicine" section that I missed?

Yes.

Thank you very much for all your insights !

To answer Why medicine? . My mother is a head nurse, and I was grown up most of my time in the hospital where she worked. I studied and worked 6 months on proton therapy. I know right way it is what I want to do radiation oncology. Also, my father suffered and died by cancer in 2008. I spent months with him in the hospital and it was a turning point that I decide to become a doctor.