what a sad time -
i don't know about how everyone else is feeling,
but two days ago, i woke up and that gut feeling inside had changed from positive to disappointment.
this is not the first time for me in my struggle to get into meds. and, i know i will eventually get in. and rejections now do not feel as terrible. i'm coming from canada where the process to select for interviews is terribly weighted in favour of gpa. and the gpa average for matriculants is up near the 3.8 mark - for all schools.
the process in the states seems more likely to catch the applicants that stand out in terms of extracurriculars. this year was my first year applying to the states, late, and only to 5 schools in the end. I did get two interviews, and now i know that my interviewing skills are not the best.
it's like i speak a whole different language, coming from women's studies, coming from social services and political community. and i'm the one who gets lost in translation!
one thing i've learned is that the professional identity in meds does not often seek to understand another person's world-view.
so, for all the folks getting in this year, keep that in mind, eh? that patients will often have a different world-view. they are not just 'dumb' to the professional discourse. the professional discourse is also 'dumb' to the world-view of many patients, many people. If that ignorance can be accepted, there may be more opportunity to truly meet across difference.
i may not be understood with what i'm writing right now, and i hope that won't have you write me off - especially since i'm using inflammatory language like 'dumb' and 'ignorance'. one thing i've learned, going through women's studies, is that what i thought was the world, just was, turned out to be so ultimately just another perspective. and when i held onto my view as 'reality', i missed the opportunity to connect/learn from/ work with folks who had widely divergent 'realities' of their own.
i think that has happened a couple times in interviews with docs for me. and, it doesn't help that i've been pretty easy-going and airy with my approach to life - that often comes across as unprofessional, unknowledgeable of what is truly involved in the path i'm asking to embark on.
if not this year, then next year. with an early amcas, and a start in teacher's college for something to do in the meantime. that's something i wish i'd done last year! i worry a bit about having to miss days for interviews - this programme severely discourages missing days. however, life goes on! life goes on.
if life is there, plans, energy, and community, then something such as the timing of going to medical school will come and it won't be so painful to wait on that one aspect.
i'm writing this for myself, and i'm not really on-topic within the usual realm of discourse for here, but i felt moved... 🙂