Misdemeanor Essay

[jlcook75]

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Hey, I am currently applying and am hoping someone who has in the past had to report a misdemeanor or is in the process and has to report one will be willing to ready my essay describing my incident. Because I only get 600 characters it is difficult to say everything I want. If anyone is willing to read my essay and give me their thoughts it would be greatly appreciated. just inbox me if you can help.

Thanks

 

[jlcook75]

Rather than inbox here I am just going to post the essay here so everyone can leave their comments. Thank you!

"My freshman year of college I received a Public Intoxication Violation in March while on spring break in Alabama which has since been sealed. I was in a bad place and thought that turning to alcohol would fix it. This incident was a much-needed learning experience for me. As I have matured, I have learned to lean on my family and friends in difficult times and not alcohol. Over the past two and a half years this method has not only kept me out of trouble but has brought me much closer to my friends and family. I am very grateful to have learned this invaluable lesson from this experience."

 

[aspiring20]

sounds good to me.

 

[lmn]

My personal interpretation of that would suggest a possible tendency towards alcoholism since you mention turning to alcohol to fix a problem. Personally I wouldn't accept someone who I thought may regress to alcoholism in times of stress/hardship (aka med school/residency/beyond), especially when they have many other options. Personally I would probably spin it to be more of a one-off, stupid mistake/momentary lapse of good judgement rather than suggesting you may try to fix stressful situations by drinking yourself stupid.

Disclaimer: I'm not even close to being an Adcom, they may not at all interpret or reason in the same way as I did.

 

[Lamel]

Can't you just say that you were on spring break getting wet and wild, and went a little overboard because you weren't used to alcohol and thus were written up. Since then you are more responsible with such substances.

The sound of "turned to alcohol to fix problems" is just bad.

 

[areserine]

My personal interpretation of that would suggest a possible tendency towards alcoholism since you mention turning to alcohol to fix a problem. Personally I wouldn't accept someone who I thought may regress to alcoholism in times of stress/hardship (aka med school/residency/beyond), especially when they have many other options. Personally I would probably spin it to be more of a one-off, stupid mistake/momentary lapse of good judgement rather than suggesting you may try to fix stressful situations by drinking yourself stupid.

Disclaimer: I'm not even close to being an Adcom, they may not at all interpret or reason in the same way as I did.

+1 I got the same impression. The wording raises red flags. Drinking too much is one thing, turning to alcohol to fix your problems is another.

 

[LizzyM]

The less said the better. Frankly, most of us were young once 😉 and this won't be held against you.

"My freshman year of college I received a Public Intoxication Violation in March while on spring break in Alabama. I regret my bad behavior and I am very grateful to have learned an valuable lesson from this experience."

 

[F.Underwood]

Yea dude, I agree with what the other ppl said. You could use that essay if you have like 5 public intoxications, not 1, especially since it was on spring break.

 

[jlcook75]

thanks for the help. I agree with what yall are saying and now realize how it actually sounds.

 

[jlcook75]

Here is the new version. Let me know what yall think.

My freshman year I received a Public Intoxication Violation in March, 2012 while on spring break in Alabama. As a freshman I was very immature and ignorant of my limits. As a result, I made the dumb mistake of drinking too much and received this violation. This incident was an invaluable learning experience for me. Since this incident I have greatly matured and stayed out of trouble. I have learned to be both much more responsible with my actions and more focused with my priorities in life, resulting in a significant rise in my GPA over the last three semesters.

 

[Lamel]

No need to have the GPA part. That has nothing to do with the misdemeanor. Just end it at "stayed out of trouble."

 

[hoihaie]

Heres my more concise/better version (at least IMO):

"As an immature freshman, I received a Public Intoxication Violation in March 2012 while on spring break in Alabama. This incident was an invaluable learning experience for me and I have since greatly matured and stayed out of trouble. I have learned to be both more responsible with my actions and stay focused with my priorities in life."

took out dumb mistake and drinking too much because those are implied. Took out GPA because it has no relevance with your violation

 

[jlcook75]

thank you hoihaie. so what im getting from yall is that its better to be short and concise? rather than use the 600 character total. I was under the impression that being short and not using the full space might make it seem as though I dont think its a big deal and not taking it seriously

 

[el_duderino]

Here is the new version. Let me know what yall think.

My freshman year I received a Public Intoxication Violation in March, 2012 while on spring break in Alabama. As a freshman I was very immature and ignorant of my limits. As a result, I made the dumb mistake of drinking too much and received this violation. This incident was an invaluable learning experience for me. Since this incident I have greatly matured and stayed out of trouble. I have learned to be both much more responsible with my actions and more focused with my priorities in life, resulting in a significant rise in my GPA over the last three semesters.

Remove the word dumb.

 

[NYCNative]

"I was in a bad place and thought that turning to alcohol would fix it."

You should be highlighting your immaturity here, not that you were trying to fix a problem with alcohol... least of all because that is obviously the case. Also, if it is sealed, you shouldn't even be mentioning it.

oops-- looks like this thread actually got somewhere before I came along. Props to the OP for actually listening to people

 

[lmn]

Short and concise is best imo, like LizzyM said, Adcoms understand people make mistakes, the more you write the more of a chance of you saying something stupid/wrong that could be held against you. If they want to hear more about it, they can ask you about it in your interview (you should be prepared for this question in all your interviews if you listed the charge on your AMCAS/Secondaries).

 

[hoihaie]

thank you hoihaie. so what im getting from yall is that its better to be short and concise? rather than use the 600 character total. I was under the impression that being short and not using the full space might make it seem as though I dont think its a big deal and not taking it seriously

concise is always good. Rambling is always bad

 

[Gauss44]

OP, if I were you I'd just copy and paste LizzyM's example. As long as it's all true, I can't think of a better way to say it.

 

[Lilo_007]

Hi all, sorry to dig up an old post but this seemed like the best thread to get help on this issue! I also received a misdemeanor in Alabama on spring break for minor in possession of untaxed liquor. I just wanted to get some advice on what is the best way to word it for my secondaries that ask about it.

"During spring break of my sophomore year I received a minor in possession of untaxed liquor charge in Alabama. I sincerely regret my terrible judgment, but I learned a valuable life lesson and have grown from this mistake. I have taken all of the steps possible to correct the wrong by having it expunged and sealed from my record."

@LizzyM @Goro
Any advice?

 

[mk04447]

Hi all, sorry to dig up an old post but this seemed like the best thread to get help on this issue! I also received a misdemeanor in Alabama on spring break for minor in possession of untaxed liquor. I just wanted to get some advice on what is the best way to word it for my secondaries that ask about it.

"During spring break of my sophomore year I received a minor in possession of untaxed liquor charge in Alabama. I sincerely regret my terrible judgment, but I learned a valuable life lesson and have grown from this mistake. I have taken all of the steps possible to correct the wrong by having it expunged and sealed from my record."

@LizzyM @Goro
Any advice?

I wouldn't say the last part. Correct the wrong by having it erased?

 

[Lilo_007]

I wouldn't say the last part. Correct the wrong by having it erased?

Yeah I guess that sounds weird, I just wanted to mention that I have taken all of the necessary steps to fix the problem, but it keeps coming out wrong.

 

[Doug Underhill]

You guys sound insincere with overly harsh terms like "terrible judgment". Use LizzyM's statement as an example.

 

[DokterMom]

Yeah I guess that sounds weird, I just wanted to mention that I have taken all of the necessary steps to fix the problem, but it keeps coming out wrong.

"Fix the Problem" by erasing the evidence? Wrong definition of what "the problem" is --

 

[ChrisMack390]

You guys don't need to be giving yourselves 40 lashes over these stupid alcohol things.

"I was younger and immature and did X dumb thing. This was a wake up call for me and since it happened I have acted more responsibly and have had no further incidents."

Don't say anything else.

 

[Lilo_007]

During spring break of my sophomore year I received a minor in possession of untaxed liquor charge in Alabama. I sincerely regret my bad judgment, but I learned a valuable life lesson and have grown from this mistake.

I don't want to be too short and seem like I blew it off/am trying to brush it under the rug. And I wasn't sure if bad behavior/bad judgment made a difference here. And as for the problem, I am not really sure how else to address growing from it because I have not done anything else since then and the only thing I have been able to do about it is to go through the process of having it expunged.

 

[nwts]

During spring break of my sophomore year I received a minor in possession of untaxed liquor charge in Alabama. I sincerely regret my bad judgment, but I learned a valuable life lesson and have grown from this mistake.

I don't want to be too short and seem like I blew it off/am trying to brush it under the rug. And I wasn't sure if bad behavior/bad judgment made a difference here. And as for the problem, I am not really sure how else to address growing from it because I have not done anything else since then and the only thing I have been able to do about it is to go through the process of having it expunged.

This should be fine. They are looking for two things with these statements:
1. The thing you did was not really all that bad (but don't say that, they need to get this on their own from the actual offense, not you downplaying it).
2. You take responsibility for whatever you did.

If you go on and on, it's just fluff and gives you more room to put your foot in your mouth. As long as you take responsibility for what you did, they don't need an extra 2 or 3 sentences of taking responsibility to believe that you actually did mature. Additionally, going on and on with dramatic statements about how it was the worst thing anyone has ever done seems very disingenuous. You need to tell them what you did and take responsibility for having done something you shouldn't have, and you've done that.

As far as using the term "bad judgment," it is an appropriate term. I think your use will be interpreted to mean that you showed poor judgment in making a choice to do something that you knew was illegal. That is an appropriate use of the phrase and correctly conveys your meaning.

 

[Lilo_007]

This should be fine. They are looking for two things with these statements:
1. The thing you did was not really all that bad (but don't say that, they need to get this on their own from the actual offense, not you downplaying it).
2. You take responsibility for whatever you did.

If you go on and on, it's just fluff and gives you more room to put your foot in your mouth. As long as you take responsibility for what you did, they don't need an extra 2 or 3 sentences of taking responsibility to believe that you actually did mature. Additionally, going on and on with dramatic statements about how it was the worst thing anyone has ever done seems very disingenuous. You need to tell them what you did and take responsibility for having done something you shouldn't have, and you've done that.

As far as using the term "bad judgment," it is an appropriate term. I think your use will be interpreted to mean that you showed poor judgment in making a choice to do something that you knew was illegal. That is an appropriate use of the phrase and correctly conveys your meaning.

Thank you so much for you help!
I will keep it at
"During spring break of my sophomore year I received a minor in possession of untaxed liquor charge in Alabama. I sincerely regret my bad judgment, but I learned a valuable life lesson and have grown from this mistake."

 

[nwts]

Thank you so much for you help!
I will keep it at
"During spring break of my sophomore year I received a minor in possession of untaxed liquor charge in Alabama. I sincerely regret my bad judgment, but I learned a valuable life lesson and have grown from this mistake."

You're welcome! Good luck with your applications.

 

[Oranges2]

Can someone read mine? 🙂 thanks

"During the first semester of my freshmen year at XX, I was cited for underage drinking. However, I was able to have my case expunged after taking a remedial course. I regret my behavior, and I am very grateful to have learned a valuable lesson from this experience. Since then, I have acted more responsibly and have had no further incidents."

 

[LizzyM]

@Oranges2 : Who cited you? If it was the school, then the record is not "expunged" as that is a term used for legal charges. If it was the civil authorities (the cops) then you might say "I received a ticket" or "I was arrested". Other than that, I think it is fine. Frankly, I'd remove the "I regret my behavior" as almost no one regrets enjoying an intoxicating beverage while in college, but they regret doing so in a way that resulted in getting caught. 🙁

During the first semester of my freshmen year at XX, I was select one: written up/given a ticket for underage drinking. I took a remedial course to learn more about the adverse effects of underage drinking. I am very grateful to have learned a valuable lesson from this experience. Since then, I have acted more responsibly and have had no further incidents.

 

[Oranges2]

@LizzyM it was by local police. I was "charged" or "cited" by them, not arrested. I went through a process (lawyer, remedial class) to get my case expunged. Is there a more accurate term to use here? Thank you!

 

[nwts]

@LizzyM it was by local police. I was "charged" or "cited" by them, not arrested. I went through a process (lawyer, remedial class) to get my case expunged. Is there a more accurate term to use here? Thank you!

I think LizzyM is saying that you shouldn't mention it being expunged at all. I don't think it really matters to adcoms that it was expunged. It was a minor charge and you took responsibility. It's definitely not a positive thing, but I don't think it's a huge negative, and I don't think it changes their opinion of the situation much whether or not it was expunged.

 

[Oranges2]

^ I feel like I want to say that I took actions to remediate my behavior in the form of these classes, which resulted in expungement.

 

[nwts]

^ I feel like I want to say that I took actions to remediate my behavior in the form of these classes, which resulted in expungement.

Then you could talk about how you took the classes and learned from them, but still not mention that a result of taking the classes was expungement. It actually might be to your benefit NOT to mention expungement if you mention the classes because then it sounds more like you took the classes to educate yourself about underage drinking, not for the sole purpose of getting it expunged.

 

[LizzyM]

Here's a new version:

During the first semester of my freshmen year at XX, I was charged with ___, a misdemeanor in the State/Commonwealth of ____ . As a result, I took a remedial course to learn more about the adverse effects of underage drinking. I am very grateful to have learned a valuable lesson from this experience. Since then, I have acted more responsibly and have had no further incidents; the record of this misdemeanor has been expunged.