Something about medical school tends to make me miss my family more and more. I think the loneliness and terrible stress associated with this process kind of cause me to reflexively yearn for home and genuine support. I don't think there are a lot of bad people in my class, but it feels like I'm constantly in this warped rat race among a lot of really ambitious people who may or may not really care about you when things get sticky. Of course this isn't the totality of me school. But I often feel so disconnected from the process and the general vibe of med school culture...the relationships here often feel kind of shallow and this, added to the stress, really makes me miss my family and old friends. Anyway, not sure why I posted this except I guess I'm wondering if anyone else ever feels this way.
Missing my family...
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Yes, people feel this way all the time.
Med school is a pressure cooker. You're learning complex material faster than you ever have before, and you're in a class with more top-flight students than you've ever seen before. That's bound to make you homesick and discouraged.
The first thing you should do is realize that you're not unique; at least, you're not unique in this regard. Take comfort in the knowledge that many students have been exactly where you are (one of whom is writing this post!) and successfully navigated these waters. You can make it through this, too.
Second, you should reach out to your family. We live in an age of miracles. You can pick up your phone, push the screen, and beam an electronic copy of your face and voice through outer frickin' space to the other side of the world to have a real-time video chat with your parents. We've only been able to do that for...what, 10 years? 15? Out of thousands of years of recorded history. You can and should maintain contact with your family and friends. It's not quite as good as being there in person, but it's a hell of a lot better than it used to be.
Third, get yourself to a trusted advisor. At my school, the dean for Student Affairs took a personal interest in me, and he was an ally, mentor, and friend throughout all my training. He helped me through some of the most challenging times of my life. If you have a faculty member or administrator who supports you like that, reach out and let him/her know of your struggles. I promise you they've seen students go through this before.
Fourth, go to your school's counseling center. They have trained professionals who can help you make the adjustments required to succeed in your medical training.
Don't lose hope. You're right where you should be, doing what you should do. You're preparing for an exciting and fulfilling career in medicine -- something very few people ever get to do. The training is a crucible meant to help you grow stronger, and you'll use that strength to help your patients someday. Get whatever help you need to get your head in a better space. Things will get better. Feel free to PM if you'd like.
Med school is a pressure cooker. You're learning complex material faster than you ever have before, and you're in a class with more top-flight students than you've ever seen before. That's bound to make you homesick and discouraged.
The first thing you should do is realize that you're not unique; at least, you're not unique in this regard. Take comfort in the knowledge that many students have been exactly where you are (one of whom is writing this post!) and successfully navigated these waters. You can make it through this, too.
Second, you should reach out to your family. We live in an age of miracles. You can pick up your phone, push the screen, and beam an electronic copy of your face and voice through outer frickin' space to the other side of the world to have a real-time video chat with your parents. We've only been able to do that for...what, 10 years? 15? Out of thousands of years of recorded history. You can and should maintain contact with your family and friends. It's not quite as good as being there in person, but it's a hell of a lot better than it used to be.
Third, get yourself to a trusted advisor. At my school, the dean for Student Affairs took a personal interest in me, and he was an ally, mentor, and friend throughout all my training. He helped me through some of the most challenging times of my life. If you have a faculty member or administrator who supports you like that, reach out and let him/her know of your struggles. I promise you they've seen students go through this before.
Fourth, go to your school's counseling center. They have trained professionals who can help you make the adjustments required to succeed in your medical training.
Don't lose hope. You're right where you should be, doing what you should do. You're preparing for an exciting and fulfilling career in medicine -- something very few people ever get to do. The training is a crucible meant to help you grow stronger, and you'll use that strength to help your patients someday. Get whatever help you need to get your head in a better space. Things will get better. Feel free to PM if you'd like.
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All the time, OP 🙁 I had to move to a place that I really don’t like/ is about as far distance-wise from home as I can get so that hasn’t helped either..
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Stay strong, bud. You're not alone. Call your mom. Call that one crush you had back in college. Study hard. If you think about it, being alone isn't all that bad. You can walk around the house without pants on and eat ice cream all your want.
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I thought I was the only one. I can’t believe I signed up for this. I wish someone told me not to do it.
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Too tired after every weekday to go anywhere. Sit around all day watching internet videos on the weekends. The isolation, stress, and fatigue wears me out. I used to be happy. This is only my first year.
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Superficial relationships. Fake friends. Constantly told to take care of yourself and see a psychiatrist.
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I would do all that if I didn’t pick med school. I feel like the work leaves me physically and mentally drained that I can’t think anymore and just sit there all weekend watching videos and playing games. I want to clean my apartment but I just see it as a waste of time as it will just get messy again. I find most things in life futile and useless.
I think I over reached and picked med school bc of my ego without realizing how miserable I was as a pre med. It was masked by my my tunnel vision of getting in to med school.
I feel like I would be much happier as a nurse or any other career so I would not be as drained. I don’t feel like getting off of my couch. I probably am majorly depressed, but don’t have time to sit there and talk to a psychiatrist. The only time I have is on Saturday and Sunday, and the school counselors are gone.
I don’t want to kill myself or draw attention, I just don’t feel like doing anything in life anymore.
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I know how you feel. I'm a first year also and feel similarly as you. And I'm sure that you're not alone in your class in feeling this way. Medical school is an insanely stressful period of time. I can count on two hands how many people at school who have told me about how med school has negatively impacted their mental health or even had to drop out/take a LOA because of the stress/depression/anxiety (and it's only the beginning of second semester of first year) - and that's just the people who I know of. So, please know that you're not alone. Have you talked to anyone about how you're feeling? I think it really helps sometimes to just talk out your thoughts and feelings with someone - at least it did for me. Maybe you could go see a counselor during your lunch breaks (either at school or outside - maybe ask your PCP for a reference)? Or make an appointment with the Dean of Student Affairs? I think even calling up your family/friends and telling them how you're feeling would help a lot. I know it's difficult, but I've tried to find time at least once every two weeks to see a counselor even with my busy schedule, and it's helped tremendously. I think there's a lot of stigma associated with seeing a counselor, and we need to realize that just because someone is in therapy or seeing someone or whatever doesn't mean that they are "crazy" or even that something is wrong. I think it's just a necessity sometimes, especially in a crazy field such as medicine. Anyways, feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk more, and I really do hope you feel better soon.
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The emotions you're talking about... apathy, feeling like nothing matters are really classic signs of depression. I really think you should speak to someone. I realize you may not have a lot of time, but it's important to get these addressed before your lifestyle becomes even more unhealthy.
For now, try 15 minutes of cleaning your apartment. I know it seems like a waste, but 15 minutes shouldn't make you too tired or waste too much time. When I'm at my lowest or overly anxious, I follow the steps on a wesbite called "youfeellike****" (aptly named)
D
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meetup.com find a group of people (non med students) who do whatever your hobby is. Go to that group often. If you don't have a hobby, then get one.
I recommend a board game group. Some healthy competition (med school is not healthy competition) and winning stuff sometimes does wonders for the spirit.
exercise
I recommend a board game group. Some healthy competition (med school is not healthy competition) and winning stuff sometimes does wonders for the spirit.
exercise
