Most overused statements from the interview trail

[quepatho]

---

Members do not see this ad.

(For a laugh or a chuckle, I'll take what I can get...feel free to add more if you think of them.)

1. "The people are the best part about this place!"

Great news, APPARENTLY people everywhere are just f'in awesome. There are no bad people ANYWHERE. The annoying thing about this statement, of course, is that what is generally meant by it is "there are SOME really nice people who help me get through the DRAG that we call intern year." Those people will likely not be the same for you as they are for me, so quit saying that the people are the best part of your institution.

2. "You see EVERYTHING here!"

Hey! Great news, guys, apparently you see everything EVERYWHERE. Even middle-of-nowhere Vermont where everyone is a white, middle-class, Anglo-Saxon heterosexual American male (yes they are all male, too, somehow, since women are well-established minorities). EVERYTHING.

3. "We get the sickest patients."

Apparently you ALL get the sickest patients. Stop wearing it like a badge of honor, I want to see some people who are well and won't give me TB → this is a goal of mine, to not-get TB.

4. "Our graduates go everywhere!"

Even better news, everyone's graduates go everywhere. Sometimes "everywhere" means BOTH ends of the state.

5. "We have all the opportunities for research you would ever want."

Your search is finished, you can do all the research you ever wanted. OK, fine, but is it like…research that can be conducted in a timely manner? Research that will let me get published? Do you have options for research or is there only one crotchety old dude who grudgingly lets students work in his out-of-date lab?

6. "One of the great things about our program is that we use EPIC for everything."

News flash: mostly you all use EPIC. It's just like any other EMR with its plusses and minuses; this is not a great thing about a program, it's just a THING. An OK thing since apparently the people who create software for Apple/Windows/whatever products are not lining up to create new EMRs. It is a moderately better version than writing things by hand. Sometimes, not all the time. Stop getting excited about technology that SHOULD reasonably be obsolete in this country, if healthcare weren't in the s***hole state it's in.

7. "You will feel able to handle ANYTHING when you graduate from our institution"

Really? I will feel able to handle a withdrawing schizophrenic alcoholic who has taken cyanide capsules and been waterboarded and is now having unstable angina and melena while being mauled by a grizzly bear with unusually large teeth? I didn't think so.

8. "XXXXXX is a great place to live."

Good news, apparently every place ever is a great place to live. Cold or warm, city or town, they are just all fan-f'in-tastic places to live. Doesn't even matter. (In some of the less amazing places they follow it up with…'well you just FIND stuff to do' as if somehow ‘stuff' just magically appears before your eyes if you only look for it correctly.)

9. "Our program is very responsive to feedback"

At some programs I imagine this is true. At others, I can almost SEE the program director thinking "yes, I have heard their feedback. I have heard what they said. This makes me a very thoughtful person. I am a very thoughtful person indeed. My god, I'm great." And then, you know, not doing anything, since why would s/he? Residents are only there for 3 years at a time, incentives are surely low most of the time in most places. (Statement is useless without examples).

10. <of course I had to save this for last> "Do you have any more questions?"

In and of itself, this comment is harmless, but when I've already asked you 3 questions you need to just STOPPIT. STOPPPIT, I TELL YOU! NO I STILL DON'T HAVE ANY MORE QUESTIONS, if you've done your job right, I shouldn't have that many questions!

 

[jdh71]

Really? I will feel able to handle a withdrawing schizophrenic alcoholic who has taken cyanide capsules and been waterboarded and is now having unstable angina and melena while being mauled by a grizzly bear with unusually large teeth? I didn't think so.

To fair, any program where you rotate through the county hospital could bring this one to you 😀

I could handle that patient though, but first you have to shoot the bear. Most hospitals won't let you carry a weapon, let a lone a gun big enough t take down a bear.

 

[DrSnips]

To fair, any program where you rotate through the county hospital could bring this one to you 😀

I could handle that patient though, but first you have to shoot the bear. Most hospitals won't let you carry a weapon, let a lone a gun big enough t take down a bear.

I had a patient like that recently. He walked out AMA. Well, ran out AMA anyway, due to the bear.

 

[Deferoxamine]

Here, this is how I summarized the experience two interview seasons ago:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?p=10459762#post10459762

I have pasted it below for your convenience.
------------------------------------

** walks into fancy lobby or conference room entrance **

Smiling Program Coordinator: "Good morning, nice to see you!!!" **hands me folder and ID badge, takes my coat** "Now sign here, here, here, and here."

** sits down next to applicants **

Female applicants: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
Male applicants: ** mute **

Smiling Program Coordinator: "Go eat some breakfast, guys!!"

** Strawberries, pineapple, and kiwi disappear within 15 seconds. No one touches the honeydew or cantalope. 90% of the other food is a pastry with icing, raisins, roofies, and/or twizzlers on them. **

Female applicants: (while chewing) "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

Program Director: "We have like THE best program ever, according to NIH / USNews / Forbes Top 10 Places to Live."

** Slideshow time **

Program Director: "We are addressing the ACGME hours by asking the residents directly! Here is our plan."

Program Director: "So what's the best part of this program? THE RESIDENTS!"

** Some random tall mute male applicant in the back falls asleep **

** 3 female applicants feverishly write down every word from the powerpoint presentation. **

Program Director: (shows flattering pictures of the program's city) "_____ is a great city to live in. And WE LOVE our sports team... except for this year, they are having a bad season but we still love them. So this season, DON'T ASK!!"

All Applicants: (in unison) ** fake LOL **

Interviewer #1: "Do you have any questions for me?"

Interviewer #2: "(insert semi-challenging question)"
Interviewer #2: "Do you have any questions for me?"

** Awesome facilities ZOMG. Let's walk up 9 flights of stairs. A girl with high heels starts crying. **

Tour Guide: "OMG I LURVE IT HERE. Everyone is so supportive. Here's our resident lounge with bumper pool table, slurpee machine, and La-Z-Boy recliner."

** Lunch consisting of some combination of bread, meat, and something green, often combined with another piece of bread to make what's called a "sandwich". **

Intern at Lunchtime: ** sits at my table ** (after 7 coffees) "This place is the best place ever. I've done 6 research projects since starting here. I love all of my residents. I got married back in September. I live in a 3 BR apartment that only costs $45 a month. I go out and get drunk 4 nights a week. I ranked this higher than my #1." ** eats 15 cookies **

** closing remarks **

Program Director: "Thank you for joining us. You don't have to send us Thank You Letters, no one reads them. You don't have to do Second Looks, it WON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE in how we rank you. Thank You Letters can be sent to our main office. To arrange a Second Look, contact our main office. To arrange a Third Look, contact me. To arrange a Fourth or Fifth Look, find an apartment in town for a month and just show up to work for a month. Have some more coffee."

 

[DrVanNostran]

To fair, any program where you rotate through the county hospital could bring this one to you 😀

I could handle that patient though, but first you have to shoot the bear. Most hospitals won't let you carry a weapon, let a lone a gun big enough t take down a bear.

Psych consult. Rec appreciated.

 

[CanIMakeIt]

Well in that case, I would say that stop asking dumb questions back. My pet peeves this season -

- "What changes do you see coming to the program and are they for better or for worse?" WHAT???

- My significant other is world famous XYZ, how do you think he will adapt to this city -- for career - HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW - aren't you supposed to do research on that before applying?

- I want to be the next big-shot in academics, do you think there are resources and opportunities for me to grow professionally and personally???????

- My research is in this tiny tiny particle that is like a part of the molecular machinery that takes part in sleep-awake cycle - Do you think I can find mentors to further my research here? Well the answer is - DO YOUR OWN DAMN RESEARCH - average resident is NOT interested in research leave alone some part that may or mat not be there.

- do you find the environment collegiate here and does every one gets along here - Well dear XYZ, EVERYONE is NEVER going to get along as long as we lets the humans breed the natural way, so stop asking that - but if there is a fightclub or wrestling pit in the center of the hospital, you are ok.

- The reason why everyone everywhere sees everything is - because you my dear applicant is not going to go to a place if they said, well recently we saw our first DKA, there was a lot of excitement among house staff and unfortunately that patient passed away because we forgot to give him/her fluids - lesson learnt - by a show of hands, let me see how many of you are interested in going to such a place - NO ONE - I thought so.

- Along the same lines - Applicants let me be honest with you, this city is full of crime and recently had 3 of our residents either raped, shot in the head, or robbed at a gun-point - great news is one of them is still alive. The bright side is that if you make it alive into the hospital, we have the best security in the world - Again by a show of hands, let me see how many of you are interested in going to such a place - NO ONE - I thought so.


- And when applicants are writing their personal statements - I would say 80-100% got into medicine because they saw some miracle even before they were born and now want to do medicine to make their contribution; 90% have successfully walked on the water, 95% are on verge of finding cure for cancer, 99% of the candidates have touched the lives of Latinos/inner-city populations/generally under-served population in some way and the community is in the process of finishing the statue in their honor; I have been there - I was only able to partition a river for what it is worth but in my days that was enough to get you in.


Take this process for what it is worth and you will be a happier person. You are trying to put your best foot forward and so are the programs. The reason you hear the same routine over and over is because of the feedback from applicants on what they wanted to hear from the programs on their day of interview. The last question even though annoying to no end is more for you to get anything that you wanted to know - interview is the information flow both ways to see if both are good fit for each other. It is just jumping through the hoops - the same old song and dance. If you are so fed up, I want to see you go to your next interview in Hawaiian shirt and pina colada and rank only that program for your rank list and make a real statement - NO - I didn't think so.

 

[quepatho]

Chill, man it was only for laughs, haha.

 

[quepatho]

Haha, brilliant. Brilliant. Love it.

Here, this is how I summarized the experience two interview seasons ago:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?p=10459762#post10459762

I have pasted it below for your convenience.
------------------------------------

** walks into fancy lobby or conference room entrance **

Smiling Program Coordinator: "Good morning, nice to see you!!!" **hands me folder and ID badge, takes my coat** "Now sign here, here, here, and here."

** sits down next to applicants **

Female applicants: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
Male applicants: ** mute **

Smiling Program Coordinator: "Go eat some breakfast, guys!!"

** Strawberries, pineapple, and kiwi disappear within 15 seconds. No one touches the honeydew or cantalope. 90% of the other food is a pastry with icing, raisins, roofies, and/or twizzlers on them. **

Female applicants: (while chewing) "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

Program Director: "We have like THE best program ever, according to NIH / USNews / Forbes Top 10 Places to Live."

** Slideshow time **

Program Director: "We are addressing the ACGME hours by asking the residents directly! Here is our plan."

Program Director: "So what's the best part of this program? THE RESIDENTS!"

** Some random tall mute male applicant in the back falls asleep **

** 3 female applicants feverishly write down every word from the powerpoint presentation. **

Program Director: (shows flattering pictures of the program's city) "_____ is a great city to live in. And WE LOVE our sports team... except for this year, they are having a bad season but we still love them. So this season, DON'T ASK!!"

All Applicants: (in unison) ** fake LOL **

Interviewer #1: "Do you have any questions for me?"

Interviewer #2: "(insert semi-challenging question)"
Interviewer #2: "Do you have any questions for me?"

** Awesome facilities ZOMG. Let's walk up 9 flights of stairs. A girl with high heels starts crying. **

Tour Guide: "OMG I LURVE IT HERE. Everyone is so supportive. Here's our resident lounge with bumper pool table, slurpee machine, and La-Z-Boy recliner."

** Lunch consisting of some combination of bread, meat, and something green, often combined with another piece of bread to make what's called a "sandwich". **

Intern at Lunchtime: ** sits at my table ** (after 7 coffees) "This place is the best place ever. I've done 6 research projects since starting here. I love all of my residents. I got married back in September. I live in a 3 BR apartment that only costs $45 a month. I go out and get drunk 4 nights a week. I ranked this higher than my #1." ** eats 15 cookies **

** closing remarks **

Program Director: "Thank you for joining us. You don't have to send us Thank You Letters, no one reads them. You don't have to do Second Looks, it WON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE in how we rank you. Thank You Letters can be sent to our main office. To arrange a Second Look, contact our main office. To arrange a Third Look, contact me. To arrange a Fourth or Fifth Look, find an apartment in town for a month and just show up to work for a month. Have some more coffee."

 

[duckie99]

Great post quepatho! Gotta say I never heard anyone say a single negative thing about a program on all my interviews thus far and even when I specifically asked "what is one thing you don't like about the program?". Everyone loves their program, sees everything, works with great faculty, and has opportunity for research and fellowship.

 

[Chemist0157]

** Strawberries, pineapple, and kiwi disappear within 15 seconds. No one touches the honeydew or cantalope. 90% of the other food is a pastry with icing, raisins, roofies, and/or twizzlers on them. **

What the what. I haven't been drugged (yet).

 

[CanIMakeIt]

Chill, man it was only for laughs, haha.

My apologies. May be I overreacted a bit over your elaboration of the points.

 

[ArcGurren]

Here, this is how I summarized the experience two interview seasons ago:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?p=10459762#post10459762

I have pasted it below for your convenience.
------------------------------------

** walks into fancy lobby or conference room entrance **

Smiling Program Coordinator: "Good morning, nice to see you!!!" **hands me folder and ID badge, takes my coat** "Now sign here, here, here, and here."

** sits down next to applicants **

Female applicants: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
Male applicants: ** mute **

Smiling Program Coordinator: "Go eat some breakfast, guys!!"

** Strawberries, pineapple, and kiwi disappear within 15 seconds. No one touches the honeydew or cantalope. 90% of the other food is a pastry with icing, raisins, roofies, and/or twizzlers on them. **

Female applicants: (while chewing) "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

Program Director: "We have like THE best program ever, according to NIH / USNews / Forbes Top 10 Places to Live."

** Slideshow time **

Program Director: "We are addressing the ACGME hours by asking the residents directly! Here is our plan."

Program Director: "So what's the best part of this program? THE RESIDENTS!"

** Some random tall mute male applicant in the back falls asleep **

** 3 female applicants feverishly write down every word from the powerpoint presentation. **

Program Director: (shows flattering pictures of the program's city) "_____ is a great city to live in. And WE LOVE our sports team... except for this year, they are having a bad season but we still love them. So this season, DON'T ASK!!"

All Applicants: (in unison) ** fake LOL **

Interviewer #1: "Do you have any questions for me?"

Interviewer #2: "(insert semi-challenging question)"
Interviewer #2: "Do you have any questions for me?"

** Awesome facilities ZOMG. Let's walk up 9 flights of stairs. A girl with high heels starts crying. **

Tour Guide: "OMG I LURVE IT HERE. Everyone is so supportive. Here's our resident lounge with bumper pool table, slurpee machine, and La-Z-Boy recliner."

** Lunch consisting of some combination of bread, meat, and something green, often combined with another piece of bread to make what's called a "sandwich". **

Intern at Lunchtime: ** sits at my table ** (after 7 coffees) "This place is the best place ever. I've done 6 research projects since starting here. I love all of my residents. I got married back in September. I live in a 3 BR apartment that only costs $45 a month. I go out and get drunk 4 nights a week. I ranked this higher than my #1." ** eats 15 cookies **

** closing remarks **

Program Director: "Thank you for joining us. You don't have to send us Thank You Letters, no one reads them. You don't have to do Second Looks, it WON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE in how we rank you. Thank You Letters can be sent to our main office. To arrange a Second Look, contact our main office. To arrange a Third Look, contact me. To arrange a Fourth or Fifth Look, find an apartment in town for a month and just show up to work for a month. Have some more coffee."

Literally dying of laughter right now - love this.

To be fair, I don't know how else it could possibly go other than this.