Mother of 4 - Can I do it?

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peacefuljourney

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Hi,

I'm a mother to 4 children. They will be 10, 11 and 3 & 4 yrs. old as I start residency training. Husband is also MD.

I really want to do ob/gyn. Any thoughts/advice?

Thanks. S-
 
If you want to do it, do it. Any residency would be tough in this situation, and Ob/Gyn will likely be very difficult. But, you didn't go to med school to wind up doing something that you sort of like. Do what you want, and deal with the issues as they come.
 
Is your husband an attending or resident? If he's a resident, unless he's in dermatology or similar field, daycare isn't going to cut it, you'll need a live-in nanny. Expensive.
Of course if hubby is already an attending, then you'll probably work things out. Good luck with everything. OBGYN is an awesome field and worth doing...if you can pull it off!
 
Yes, you can do it -- the real question is...

WHY?

My wife is an OB -- she loved it coming out of medical school. I really don't think that they pay anyone enough to justify everything that you give up to practice in that field.

Best of luck -- if you love it, have at it. At least you will not be in the position of some who absolutely have to work in the field when you get out (do urogyn or something).
 
Is your husband an attending or resident? If he's a resident, unless he's in dermatology or similar field, daycare isn't going to cut it, you'll need a live-in nanny. Expensive.
Of course if hubby is already an attending, then you'll probably work things out. Good luck with everything. OBGYN is an awesome field and worth doing...if you can pull it off!

You don't necessarily need a live in nanny - just probably a full time one with flexible hours for evenings/nights/weekends. Since the kids are school age (the 3 & 4 year olds can do preschool), that's a lot of hours to pay for nanny care that you don't really need... instead use it after school/evenings/weekends and you'll pay less.

I've got two kids - they'll be 12 and 6 when I start ob/gyn residency this summer. I'd rather be happy and busy than have a lighter load and be crazy because I hate what I do. If you love it, go for it. Residency is going to be tough, but it's not really indicative of how life is afterwards. The type of group practice you join really affects how heavy your work hours are. A friend who's a practicing ob/gyn is starting with a new group - they get their post call day off, rotate day shifts in the hospital so they aren't called out of clinic for deliveries, and are on call once a week and every 7th weekend as primary, with a backup call in between. That doesn't seem too bad to me!
 
... Residency is going to be tough, but it's not really indicative of how life is afterwards. The type of group practice you join really affects how heavy your work hours are. A friend who's a practicing ob/gyn is starting with a new group - they get their post call day off, rotate day shifts in the hospital so they aren't called out of clinic for deliveries, and are on call once a week and every 7th weekend as primary, with a backup call in between. That doesn't seem too bad to me!

We went through a very similar situation. While it sounds great, the logistics do not work out nearly as well as one would hope. Life is not immensely easier when you graduate, either -- that is a fallacy that is perpetuated b/c residency sucks so bad. Don't get me wrong -- some things improve for the better, but you are trading one set of problems for another.

An OB needs to average +/- 20 deliveries/month (depending on GYN caseload, but in most areas the old blood is tieing the majority of that up) to be doing well. We're not talking maxed out -- just a healthy bottom line (and don't mention ACOG guidelines on limiting to 20/month either -- if you listen to organized medicine you will be one step up from the poor house). It is harder to make good money than you would think.

Which is where the problem comes in -- volume / physician in call pool. For example, if you are in a three MD group who has one or two midwives/NP/PA, your call is one in three and 1/3 (when you are on backup, you are on call for all practical purposes). These call nights are about as busy as you would want them to be if you have to do anything the next day. If you increase the call pool, they get busier. Sure, they are spread out more, but you get hammered all the same.

Taking the postcall day off is what everyone wants -- practicality issue with that is the fact that you are losing 20% of your revenue generating time for that week, give or take depending on scheduling structure.

Once you have more than 5 in the call pool (assuming that everyone is busy), the volume that you have to contend with is too much for any one person to realistically be able to handle without the potential for some compromise in quality of care. Let's face it -- if you have three or four in labor at any given point (remember, it's not like residency where you have a team on the deck), you cannot do your job effectively. In these situations you have "back up" call -- which ties you down and limits that which you can do, effectively making you on call.

There are no real easy solutions to this set of problems, which is, to some extent, unique to the field of OB. The single best solution to date has been in the form of hospitalists OB programs, which is in no way perfect, and only works for larger metropolitan centers.
 
Hi,

I really appreciate you all taking the time to respond to me here. It's a tough decision to make regardless. I'm also Canadian studying in Europe so I'll be an img to boot. What that means is I have little to no knowledge of the US system or the options that exist as far as practise environments.

I don't mind working long hours and don't mind being up through the night (used to it I guess), but I would like to be home for dinner time. So, ideally I'd like to work during the day, take a break for dinner etc. and then pick it up again later in the evening. Likely that type of flexibility is hard to come by.

Maybe I place too much weight on the 'ob is such a nightmare residency/life' comments that I read here (and other places). I'm sure there is some truth in these comments, but surely I can't let these negative or even realistic comments drive my decision. This, in addition to the malpractise issues and stereotypes about the 'types' of people to be found in this profession.

I also don't want to just 'write off' my kids. I love my children and want to be a part of their lives. So, if this isn't for me - i.e. the hours and committment required just won't mesh with my values and priorities I'll choose another field as my family is more important to me than this particular specialty.

Having lived in Europe now for 5 years I find our North American lifestyle so driven, so work based; we tend to equate success with how much we can drive ourselves. Europe isn't perfect but I would have to say there is more 'balance' here. Shouldn't we, as physicians, be leading the way in how to lead healthier lives?

Anyhow, thanks again for your comments and I'd love to hear from others who can offer some insight. If you think I should just forget it - please tell me. Or maybe telling me about your days/nights would also be helpful. To those who offered encouragement and expressed a passion for the field - thank you. You would be great to have as colleagues! 🙂

S-
 
I have been struggling a lot with this issue the last couple of weeks. I never doubted my decision to go into OB prior to this time and I don't know if I am just getting cold feet with match lists due in a few weeks or what, but I am really questioning whether OB is a good fit for me with a five month old at home and whether I will be happy in this specialty with the demands it will put upon my time.
I don't think there is any question whether you or I CAN do Ob and be a mom. Of course we can. I also don't think there is any question about whether you CAN be a GOOD ob AND a GOOD mom...absolutely!
The question is whether you WANT to be an Ob and a mom given that you might get to be the type of mom you want to be and be an ob. This is just a simple fact of hours. 80 hours a week is TWO FULL TIME JOBS for any normal person. My husband works a typical 40-50 hour work week and I know right now he does not feel like he is very involved in our daugher's life. He just isn't with her enough. I can't imagine how he would feel if this were doubled. So, it is no wonder residency seems like a frieght train coming at me right now.
While yes, I know you can have better control of hours after residency, I think this is something said by people without children. Being away from your kids 80 hours a week for 4 YEARS is a HUGE chunk of their childhood and a huge chunk of your mothering experience.
So, I guess the question for you and for me (with a little more than a month before I have to certify my rank list) is whether we WANT to be OB's. It is not an easy question to answer and anyone who says otherwise is not really being honest.
 
I see you do have a huge decision to make and I just wanted to wish you good luck. I cannot possibly put myself in your position since I do not have any children but I think your should just follow your gut feeling. Will you be a happy, full of life parent if you give up a field you love? On the other hand--will you be able to give up a lot of quality time with your child for the next four years? I personally would respect either decision and I think that is depends on your particular personality and how much family support/financial support you will have to help raise a happy child.
 
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