Moving for a Post Doc/Internship in Covid Era

[Mojito_15]

Hello, I am moving across the country to do a postdoc in primary care integrated behavioral health. I did my internship in primary care IBH in a rural setting in the midwest, my postdoc is in an urban setting on the west coast. I am struggling right now because I am excited about the postdoc, but also having a really hard time envisioning it. I didn't get to visit, I've visited the city and state I'll be living in one time, 6 years ago. It's too far for me to make the drive there before moving and I don't plan to get on a plane.

Anyway, I have 2 goals for this thread.
1. Does anyone else work in primary care IBH? Especially on the west coast or in an urban setting? Talk to me about why you love your job. Like I said- I did do my internship in IBH, but I know not all sites are the same. I am just feeling this lack of connection to what my future will hold. I want to hear other people's experiences. This by the way was my top choice postdoc- I was, and still am, really excited about the work. It just doesn't "feel real" right now.

2. More broadly- is anyone else feeling this way? Maybe I'm not alone and this can be a place for others to commiserate. Just disconnected and weirded out by the idea of moving to a place you have never been, to do a job that you haven't gotten to look at? I had a bit of a delay between internship and postdoc, so I moved for my internship before the postdoc era and it feels very different not being able to see the location in person.

Thank you!

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[affectiveH3art]

Hello, I am moving across the country to do a postdoc in primary care integrated behavioral health. I did my internship in primary care IBH in a rural setting in the midwest, my postdoc is in an urban setting on the west coast. I am struggling right now because I am excited about the postdoc, but also having a really hard time envisioning it. I didn't get to visit, I've visited the city and state I'll be living in one time, 6 years ago. It's too far for me to make the drive there before moving and I don't plan to get on a plane.

Anyway, I have 2 goals for this thread.
1. Does anyone else work in primary care IBH? Especially on the west coast or in an urban setting? Talk to me about why you love your job. Like I said- I did do my internship in IBH, but I know not all sites are the same. I am just feeling this lack of connection to what my future will hold. I want to hear other people's experiences. This by the way was my top choice postdoc- I was, and still am, really excited about the work. It just doesn't "feel real" right now.

2. More broadly- is anyone else feeling this way? Maybe I'm not alone and this can be a place for others to commiserate. Just disconnected and weirded out by the idea of moving to a place you have never been, to do a job that you haven't gotten to look at? I had a bit of a delay between internship and postdoc, so I moved for my internship before the postdoc era and it feels very different not being able to see the location in person.

Thank you!

I am feeling disconnected as well and I was raised in the same town. I am wondering if it's just due to another transition right when we moved for internship and finally finishing our graduate programs. I do not work in primary care but will be transition from MAT/SA/Medical psych IP/OP to doing a very different OP program with components of transplant evals. In all the years of graduate school, I honestly did not think past internship as that seemed like the end goal throughout. Now that I have a wonderful fellowship waiting, I'm kinda in this weird numb funk, probably similar to your surreal experience. On one hand, I'm so glad to be leaving this internship (as it's a pain systemically and clinically) but kind of feeling like I am moving into this black abyss of nothingness afterwards because I have yet to really SEE what I will be doing. A lot of the unknown. What is very interesting is that I am somewhat from the same city and to boot I worked at the same exact hospital about 15 years ago in a different role (Surgery). So I'm with ya. I'm just trying to push through it and looking for motivation to finish this internship year ESPECIALLY because I am obligated to start this last rotation that I have minimal interest in.

 

[Mojito_15]

I am feeling disconnected as well and I was raised in the same town. I am wondering if it's just due to another transition right when we moved for internship and finally finishing our graduate programs. I do not work in primary care but will be transition from MAT/SA/Medical psych IP/OP to doing a very different OP program with components of transplant evals. In all the years of graduate school, I honestly did not think past internship as that seemed like the end goal throughout. Now that I have a wonderful fellowship waiting, I'm kinda in this weird numb funk, probably similar to your surreal experience. On one hand, I'm so glad to be leaving this internship (as it's a pain systemically and clinically) but kind of feeling like I am moving into this black abyss of nothingness afterwards because I have yet to really SEE what I will be doing. A lot of the unknown. What is very interesting is that I am somewhat from the same city and to boot I worked at the same exact hospital about 15 years ago in a different role (Surgery). So I'm with ya. I'm just trying to push through it and looking for motivation to finish this internship year ESPECIALLY because I am obligated to start this last rotation that I have minimal interest in.

This is helpful- maybe I would be feeling this way even if I was not moving somewhere unknown.

 

[affectiveH3art]

This is helpful- maybe I would be feeling this way even if I was not moving somewhere unknown.

Very possible. I know every inch of the hospital and that city (ok not really but you get what I mean). But I am still trying to see myself as a "Dr." and then a licensed psychologist. Likkkkkeeeee uhhhhh I can't SEE it. It's a very bizarre place to be in and very different from my excitement of moving for internship. Mind you, I moved blindly to this area and did not even look at the rental before I signed the lease.