Mr. Mom

[AnnaLee]

I got a huge laugh today so I thought I would share...

I'm on inpatient psych and my fellow med student has this schizo patient who thinks he's pregnant. She asks him today if he still believes this and he says no. She thinks, wow, he's actually getting better. Then he says, its because he gave birth yesterday. To a boy named Justin, who is now in the nursery. She asks if he is ok, and he says yeah, but he is having some cramping and some pain. She asks what is hurting him and he looks at her like she is crazy...then says, my anus, what do you think?

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[b&ierstiefel]

so basically the patient thinks he shat baby Justin outta his ass.
was the baby covered in meconium? *ahem* i mean ****?

i wonder what the most common delusions encountered in psych are:
(1) i'm the prez-o-dent!
(2) i be jesus. that's right, your f*cking lord and savior.
(3) i be pregnant.
(4) these damn rainbows keep crawling up my leg and biting the inside of my ass.

 

[deschutes]

She asks what is hurting him and he looks at her like she is crazy...then says, my anus, what do you think?

The scary part is that you come back after being up for 28 hours and them schizos in their infinite reasonableness seem to make more sense than you do.

Time to get out of the hospital!

 

[bananaface]

Did she offer him some Nupercainal, IBU, and DOS?

 

[quant]

(4) these damn rainbows keep crawling up my leg and biting the inside of my ass.

sounds vaguely familiar......

 

[quant]

so basically the patient thinks he shat baby Justin outta his ass.
was the baby covered in meconium? *ahem* i mean ****?

.

ROFLMAO..............

 

[b&ierstiefel]

sounds vaguely familiar......

yeah, i f*cking hate rainbows.

 

[yaah]

The first question I would be asking is why did he name the kid Justin? But then again, I am curious about different sorts of things.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Now why is that important?

 

[yaah]

Now why is that important?

It's not. I am just wondering about what made him pick Justin. It gives a window into the kind of psychosis that is present.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

It's not. I am just wondering about what made him pick Justin. It gives a window into the kind of psychosis that is present.

Yeah, on that vein, why did Mephisto name that monkey boy of his Kevin?

 

[yaah]

Yeah, on that vein, why did Mephisto name that monkey boy of his Kevin?

An excellent question. See, now you know my pain.

 

[bananaface]

The first question I would be asking is why did he name the kid Justin? But then again, I am curious about different sorts of things.

Because when he was born he was just in the toilet.

 

[beary]

Because when he was born he was just in the toilet.

Nice one.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Because when he was born he was just in the toilet.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I just got it!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[bananaface]

Is it scary that I can connect with psych patients frame of reference?

 

[beary]

Is it scary that I can connect with psych patients frame of reference?

Yes.

 

[deschutes]

While we are talking about psych issues, can someone please enlighten me as to why I find myself exchanging PMs re: pole-dancing with a guy who cannot spell my name right?

Sometimes my insight leaves me.

 

[bananaface]

That isn't necessarily a psych issue, deschutes. Perhaps you are both simply intoxicated.

 

[AnnaLee]

I love it... I met that patient for the first time today, and he did not look anything like I expected. Kind of a Mr. Miyagi with a shy little grin. Looks like my next door neighbor. His ass feels better today, so that's good. Ms. Cluster B on her 102 admission wants him for her new boyfriend, apparently. Got a lovely picture of the spaceship that landed on my new patient's roof when I asked him to copy the pentagrams. Too funny. Should have named this thread "tales from the psych ward"

 

[bananaface]

Don't be too nice or they'll start proposing to you. I'm not kidding.

 

[deschutes]

Ms. Cluster B on her 102 admission wants him for her new boyfriend, apparently.

In Malaysia the Psych wards are segregated male from female. Sure prevents a lot of secondary psych complications!

 

[deschutes]

That isn't necessarily a psych issue, deschutes. Perhaps you are both simply intoxicated.

Intoxication = totally Psych!!

 

[Pingu]

Don't be too nice or they'll start proposing to you. I'm not kidding.

Or offer to become your pimp. Clearly I was not marriage material.

 

[bananaface]

Or offer to become your pimp. Clearly I was not marriage material.

One patient proposed to me and I showed him my wedding ring. He was like, "Oh, there are says to fix that." Um... yeah.

 

[Pingu]

He told me I could make a lot of money with an a$$ like mine. Then he showed me pictures of his other 'ladies'.