My friend LIED about an EC using MY experiences!

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txcyclist

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I was recently talking to a professor that is writing a LOR for both my friend and I. While the professor and I were chatting he re-hashed a story my friend told him regarding a particular volunteer experience that my friend supposedly had. The problem? The story was an experience I had from the volunteering I've been doing for 2+ years. No joke. The story was almost line-for-line what I told my friend. Turns out said friend is claiming he's been volunteering with the same organization I've been with....even though he hasn't stepped foot in the office.

I was initially so shocked I didn't know what to say. I've been friends with this guy for 3+ yrs and have known him to only be upstanding. I didn't call him on his bs to our mutual recommender though I should have.

Now I'm pretty ticked off. It is one thing to lie about working for XX organization but to claim my experiences as your own??? That is way over the line. How should I proceed with handling this? Do I confront my friend? Notify the recommender?

Since I've been with this volunteer organization for so long I've written extensively about my experiences in my admission essays . I'm worried he is potentially fabricating essays using my experiences and we could both get in trouble in the admissions process.
 
I hope you told the professor before he submitted the LOR.
 
It really comes down to what YOU want to see happen to him. If he's your friend and want to see him succeed with experiences that are not true I don't see anything wrong with that. It's survival of the fittest in this world, as a friend you could also warn him what could happen if he's caught.

If this somehow will get you in trouble (Idk how exactly it would) then by all means rat his ass out.
 
He's lying and will screw you over. Not a friend. Confront him and tell him to change it. If he doesn't, do whatever necessary to protect yourself and leave him in the dust
 
Doubt you will get in trouble since you can easily say you had no knowledge of him doing this, which in all reality would be true if your professor hadn't inadvertently tipped you off. If nothing else I would confront my friend about it and at least make him sweat it out if I decided I valued the friendship over what happened. If I decided that I no longer wanted to be friends with him, and started thinking about who knows what else he has done with out my knowledge then I would tell the professor, and you could potentially take it to the dean of students (although even if I was pissed I wouldn't go that far since that destroys someone's future, vs just getting a slap on the wrist.) Having said all of that I lean towards the former as the latter can lead to severe consequences and as long as it doesn't directly affect me, I may not be happy with the guy, but it doesn't mean I should have the power to destroy him either.
 
MortellarPreMed said:
It really comes down to what YOU want to see happen to him. If he's your friend and want to see him succeed with experiences that are not true I don't see anything wrong with that. It's survival of the fittest in this world, as a friend you could also warn him what could happen if he's caught.

If this somehow will get you in trouble (Idk how exactly it would) then by all means rat his ass out.
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The bold is really bad advice. If both the OP and friend are applying to the same schools, the adcom will pick up on the experiences lie in no time, particularly if both are using the same stories. I know many people lie on their apps, but come on-- you don't need to applaud this behavior by such phrases as, 'it's survival of the fittest.'

Burla said:
He's lying and will screw you over. Not a friend. Confront him and tell him to change it. If he doesn't, do whatever necessary to protect yourself and leave him in the dust
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+1
 
MortellarPreMed said:
It really comes down to what YOU want to see happen to him. If he's your friend and want to see him succeed with experiences that are not true I don't see anything wrong with that. It's survival of the fittest in this world, as a friend you could also warn him what could happen if he's caught.

If this somehow will get you in trouble (Idk how exactly it would) then by all means rat his ass out.
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You're a complete imbecile. Stop with the survival of the fittest act. You're probably a privileged pre-med student in New Jersey who just finished watching an episode of House.

OP - You should just tell you friend that you're aware of what he did and warn him of the consequences. Don't rat him out. It'll eventually bite him in the ass.
 
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I think I'm going to confront him about it then see where it goes from there.

Many unfortunate parts about this - we're applying to [almost all] the same MD schools + primaries, secondaries and lors have been turned in for the both of us. I'm going to see the extent to which he has fabricated his app using my stuff. But all I can say is I'm glad all my hours have been documented/verified. I'm pretty worried about what admissions committees might be thinking.

And yeah, he's definitely leaning to EX-friend but I still don't want to completely ruin him. Don't know when I should take this to our advisor or other higher ups. What was he thinking???
 
txcyclist said:
And yeah, he's definitely leaning to EX-friend but I still don't want to completely ruin him. Don't know when I should take this to our advisor or other higher ups. What was he thinking???
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He ruined himself by his actions. This isn't simply inflating volunteer hours; he's completely making things up and stealing your work for his own. Don't be afraid to rat him out to your advisor.
 
If the apps are already submitted, outside of calling the specific schools what recourse does the OP have? If the essays are similar or the secondaries are close enough, the adcoms are going to pick up on that if the EC is unique enough.

I'd confront the friend, but that isn't going to solve anything. Perhaps he will allow you to read his PS on the app to ensure you that he didn't steal more than one EC?

Tough spot OP. wish I had something better to offer you.

Excuse any typos/errors. On my phone.
 
Strudel19 said:
You're a complete imbecile. Stop with the survival of the fittest act. You're probably a privileged pre-med student in New Jersey who just finished watching an episode of House.

OP - You should just tell you friend that you're aware of what he did and warn him of the consequences. Don't rat him out. It'll eventually bite him in the ass.
Click to expand...

I lol when people drop this, especially with med school admissions. Life is NOT super cutthroat, insanely barbaric, survival of the fittest crap. Chillax a little.
 
If the letters aren't assigned then have him personally show you that he didn't assign them to any school. I know most of the people responding are keyboard warriors who feel empowered by the fact that what they tell you will never come back to them so they can act real tough, to compensate for the fact that in real life they are a bunch of neurotic dip ****s. I am all for justice, but at the same time this is someone's life you pretty much have at your disposal. If you tell the professor, the professor may feel so insulted that even if you don't take it to higher powers he could, and the school could expel him and his future in any career let alone medicine is finished. In my mind this is an unfair punishment to take away 18 years of schooling from one foolish (not to mention victimless) mistake. You can teach him a lesson by showing him that you caught him, but I would think long and hard if you want to have it on your consciousness that you destroyed someone's life. To be clear on that last part, I am sure people will say he brought it on himself but at the same time you are signing off on it and it will stay with you.
 
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Just approach your friend instead of writing on the Internet about it... Whatever you do don't be a rat.
 
slopes23 said:
If the letters aren't assigned then have him personally show you that he didn't assign them to any school. I know most of you responding are keyboard warriors who feel empowered by the fact that what they tell you will never come back to them so they can act real tough, to compensate for the fact that in real life they are a bunch of neurotic dip ****s. I am all for justice, but at the same time this is someone's life you pretty much have at your disposal. If you tell the professor, the professor may feel so insulted that even if you don't take it to higher powers he could, and the school could expel him and his future in any career let alone medicine is finished. In my mind this is an unfair punishment to take away 18 years of schooling from one foolish (not to mention victimless) mistake. You can teach him a lesson by showing him that you caught him, but I would think long and hard if you want to have it on your consciousness that you destroyed someone's life. To be clear on that last part, I am sure people will say he brought it on himself but at the same time you are signing off on it and it will stay with you.
Click to expand...

Not to mention its a fast way to catch a beating.
 
I would raise the alarm because even the smallest chance that the adcoms might link you two together is not worth taking. He's putting you at risk, and i don't think you deserve to have to deal with the anxiety of wondering if the reason you didn't get into a school was because the adcoms thought something fishy was going on.
 
NontradCA said:
Not to mention its a fast way to catch a beating.
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Or god forbid worse. When high strung people (such as pre-meds) all the sudden have their life crumble around them, bad things have a high probability of happening. It's just not worth it when there are other equally viable options to deal with the situation.
 
This is a shame. Do the right thing. I'm not sure if I can tell you what that will entail because I'm not in your situation, but you should be able to tell. He lied and cheated and that will be with him for a long time and probably hurt him pretty quick. Confront him and he should feel like a jerk. That's what I would do. Lets hope he makes/made the right decision and didn't send it in. I'm sorry, but this is something most people have to deal with at one point or another. Learn from it. Good luck!
 
Confront him.
If he denies it, talk to the organization and see if he actually did the hours.
If he doesnt come clean, report it to the LOR writer and have the organization contact him to corroborate your story.

Cheating has very large implications.
If he did this, chances are he will continue cheating.... and if he graduates without having learned the material properly ( due to the cheating), then his actions could seriously hurt his future patients.

Just look at the news about the guy in chicago who was incorrectly treating patients with high levels of chemotherapy....
 
Mt Kilimanjaro said:
"A [pre-med] will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do."
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Close, but no cigar. Always nice to see my Aggies presented well on the threads.

Slightly more on topic: is an anonymous internet forum really the best place to seek advice about this kind of thing? I imagine your faculty, your parents, and your mutual friends would be best equipped to address this. I will say: inasmuch that this affects your chances, if this guy is getting a committee letter from your school, the professional school advising office ought to be notified.
 
Confront him and make him apply only to schools you're not applying to. If he refuses, tell him you will have the organization where you volunteered notify all the schools he is applying to.
 
I would hope that if this volunteering experience was so significant, you would have included a letter of recommendation from your supervisor. If so, there really shouldn't be a problem.

Regardless, your "friend" pulled a punk move. Not only did he lie about the experience, but he plagiarized your reflection on it. I would talk to him about it and potentially go to your premed advisor. His behavior is clearly unprofessional. There are going to be instances where your colleagues / friends will act in an unethical / unsafe manner. On one hand, you don't want to be a snitch. But on the other hand, who are you to selectively decide when to report infractions?

Tldr: figure out the scope of his deceit before going to anyone else. If it turns out that you need to report it, do so in the most professional manner possible.
 
txcyclist said:
I was recently talking to a professor that is writing a LOR for both my friend and I. While the professor and I were chatting he re-hashed a story my friend told him regarding a particular volunteer experience that my friend supposedly had. The problem? The story was an experience I had from the volunteering I've been doing for 2+ years. No joke. The story was almost line-for-line what I told my friend. Turns out said friend is claiming he's been volunteering with the same organization I've been with....even though he hasn't stepped foot in the office.

I was initially so shocked I didn't know what to say. I've been friends with this guy for 3+ yrs and have known him to only be upstanding. I didn't call him on his bs to our mutual recommender though I should have.

Now I'm pretty ticked off. It is one thing to lie about working for XX organization but to claim my experiences as your own??? That is way over the line. How should I proceed with handling this? Do I confront my friend? Notify the recommender?

Since I've been with this volunteer organization for so long I've written extensively about my experiences in my admission essays . I'm worried he is potentially fabricating essays using my experiences and we could both get in trouble in the admissions process.
Click to expand...

The first thing I thought as I read this is that the professor probably mixed up the two CVs ... meaning he was telling you the story about your friend, but was remembering the facts from your letter of intent or CV. Did you rule this out first?
 
catzzz88 said:
The first thing I thought as I read this is that the professor probably mixed up the two CVs ... meaning he was telling you the story about your friend, but was remembering the facts from your letter of intent or CV. Did you rule this out first?
Click to expand...

This. Confront him ASAP, make sure you are crystal clear that this isn't just a big misunderstanding. Then grill his ass if it turns out he sold you out. Anyone who would do this to a close friend isn't someone you should care to keep around.
 
I've always hated the idea of ratting but I also hate the idea of that guy becoming a doctor one day :/

I'd gently/jokingly confront him and ask wtf is up. If it's as bad as you feared? At the very least don't consider him much of a friend anymore.
 
catzzz88 said:
The first thing I thought as I read this is that the professor probably mixed up the two CVs ... meaning he was telling you the story about your friend, but was remembering the facts from your letter of intent or CV. Did you rule this out first?
Click to expand...

As a faculty member who reads essays and writes LORs for her students, this was the first thing that came to my mind.
 
catzzz88 said:
The first thing I thought as I read this is that the professor probably mixed up the two CVs ... meaning he was telling you the story about your friend, but was remembering the facts from your letter of intent or CV. Did you rule this out first?
Click to expand...

It's like that one movie with Martin Lawrence...
 
I wouldn't make a big fuss about it because you might get ****ed over too. Some schools have a policy where both the cheater and the cheatee gets in trouble, even if the cheatee had nothing to do with it
 
Meh, he's clearly a loser. Throw him under the bus hard, just make sure you tell him before hand so he's prepared for it.
 
LizzyM said:
As a faculty member who reads essays and writes LORs for her students, this was the first thing that came to my mind.
Click to expand...

First of all, I agree with LizzyM here. It is entirely possible that there could have been a mix up of some sort.

Secondly, how would your friend know the details of your volunteer experience? Did you regularly share them in great detail? Are they such unique experiences that it's highly unlikely that any other "typical" pre-med volunteer would not experience them? I think a lot of pre-meds end up "plagiarizing" other peoples' experiences that they have heard about when trying to embellish their existing volunteer experience, or at least fabricate their own plausible story. But then again, where do these plausible stories come from? From those same shared experiences of a "typical" pre-med.

Lastly, why would someone want to fabricate something about an activity that they are passionate about and enjoy? I thought everyone absolutely loves doing these ECs.



🙄
 
Planes2Doc said:
First of all, I agree with LizzyM here. It is entirely possible that there could have been a mix up of some sort.

Secondly, how would your friend know the details of your volunteer experience? Did you regularly share them in great detail? Are they such unique experiences that it's highly unlikely that any other "typical" pre-med volunteer would not experience them? I think a lot of pre-meds end up "plagiarizing" other peoples' experiences that they have heard about when trying to embellish their existing volunteer experience, or at least fabricate their own plausible story. But then again, where do these plausible stories come from? From those same shared experiences of a "typical" pre-med.

Lastly, why would someone want to fabricate something about an activity that they are passionate about and enjoy? I thought everyone absolutely loves doing these ECs.

🙄
Click to expand...

This is a really good point -- and a perfect reason for you to go to the LOR writer immediately and clear this up.

Calmly talk to LOR-writer with the default assumption that s/he made a simple and understandable mistake with whose experience was whose. Tell him/her you were so surprised yesterday by his/her comments that you didn't know how to react, but after thinking about it and realizing that you and the other student were both applying to the same group of schools (TX, right?), you were very concerned... You certainly never thought of Other Guy as the kind of person who would 'steal your story' and pass it off as his own. If it turns out LOR-writer *did* just mix things up - no harm, no foul, no worries, no reason to damage the friendship.

If LOR-writer did not make the simple wrong-student error, then you need to tell him that the experience in question was yours, not Other Guy's, and that a call to the volunteer workplace would quickly reveal that he hadn't ever worked there. You can indicate honestly that you're worried that if Other Guy uses it, *your* personal story, which is prominently part of your PS, will be made suspicious, not to mention the egregious ethical breach.

Then let LOR-writer do what s/he feels is appropriate. If I were that letter-writer, I'd take very decisive action --

If the other guy is such a 'snake in the grass' that he'd steal your story, don't tip him off first. Deceitful people may have other tricks up their sleeves if you give the a chance to use them...
 
DokterMom said:
This is a really good point -- and a perfect reason for you to go to the LOR writer immediately and clear this up.

Calmly talk to LOR-writer with the default assumption that s/he made a simple and understandable mistake with whose experience was whose. Tell him/her you were so surprised yesterday by his/her comments that you didn't know how to react, but after thinking about it and realizing that you and the other student were both applying to the same group of schools (TX, right?), you were very concerned... You certainly never thought of Other Guy as the kind of person who would 'steal your story' and pass it off as his own. If it turns out LOR-writer *did* just mix things up - no harm, no foul, no worries, no reason to damage the friendship.

If LOR-writer did not make the simple wrong-student error, then you need to tell him that the experience in question was yours, not Other Guy's, and that a call to the volunteer workplace would quickly reveal that he hadn't ever worked there. You can indicate honestly that you're worried that if Other Guy uses it, *your* personal story, which is prominently part of your PS, will be made suspicious, not to mention the egregious ethical breach.

Then let LOR-writer do what s/he feels is appropriate. If I were that letter-writer, I'd take very decisive action --

If the other guy is such a 'snake in the grass' that he'd steal your story, don't tip him off first. Deceitful people may have other tricks up their sleeves if you give the a chance to use them...
Click to expand...

This is a very reasonable course of action.
 
If your goal is to punish him, you could write down the same experience and apply everywhere he did. When push comes to shove, you can prove it and he can't. Or blow the whistle.

Of course, alternatively, you could talk to him about it, and find out what he has to say.... He may have had second thoughts and might be worried by now. It could strengthen your friendship to address this maturely. If he's a jerk back to you, he's got a lot to lose.
 
txcyclist said:
I was recently talking to a professor that is writing a LOR for both my friend and I. While the professor and I were chatting he re-hashed a story my friend told him regarding a particular volunteer experience that my friend supposedly had. The problem? The story was an experience I had from the volunteering I've been doing for 2+ years. No joke. The story was almost line-for-line what I told my friend. Turns out said friend is claiming he's been volunteering with the same organization I've been with....even though he hasn't stepped foot in the office.

I was initially so shocked I didn't know what to say. I've been friends with this guy for 3+ yrs and have known him to only be upstanding. I didn't call him on his bs to our mutual recommender though I should have.

Now I'm pretty ticked off. It is one thing to lie about working for XX organization but to claim my experiences as your own??? That is way over the line. How should I proceed with handling this? Do I confront my friend? Notify the recommender?

Since I've been with this volunteer organization for so long I've written extensively about my experiences in my admission essays . I'm worried he is potentially fabricating essays using my experiences and we could both get in trouble in the admissions process.
Click to expand...

Report him to AMCAS immediately and have your organization back you up. AMCAS warns every applicant very seriously about lying on the application. They will be forced to pull his app and alert all medical schools he applied to.
 
Dishonest doctors start out as dishonest students. You really do have an obligation to the public to expose your ex-friend.

"The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing"Attributed to Edmund Burke



txcyclist said:
I was recently talking to a professor that is writing a LOR for both my friend and I. While the professor and I were chatting he re-hashed a story my friend told him regarding a particular volunteer experience that my friend supposedly had. The problem? The story was an experience I had from the volunteering I've been doing for 2+ years. No joke. The story was almost line-for-line what I told my friend. Turns out said friend is claiming he's been volunteering with the same organization I've been with....even though he hasn't stepped foot in the office.

I was initially so shocked I didn't know what to say. I've been friends with this guy for 3+ yrs and have known him to only be upstanding. I didn't call him on his bs to our mutual recommender though I should have.

Now I'm pretty ticked off. It is one thing to lie about working for XX organization but to claim my experiences as your own??? That is way over the line. How should I proceed with handling this? Do I confront my friend? Notify the recommender?

Since I've been with this volunteer organization for so long I've written extensively about my experiences in my admission essays . I'm worried he is potentially fabricating essays using my experiences and we could both get in trouble in the admissions process.
Click to expand...
 
txcyclist said:
While the professor and I were chatting he re-hashed a story my friend told him regarding a particular volunteer experience that my friend supposedly had
Click to expand...
What isn't clear is whether the friend "verbally told him" or that the prof read it from a CV that could have been interchanged. Quite honestly, if I were a prof and I had listened it from the primary source, I would definitely never mix it up with another person; especially since he's writing your LOR for pete's sakes. Otherwise, I'd agree with the mix up part LizzyM stated with two different CVs.

In case your friend really is copyrighting your experiences as his, then he is a copy-cat. That means that among the ecs and schools he is copying from you, he may also be copying a lot more things from you than you know. Friends like these are not friends and there are severe consequences that come when an adcom reads two similar stories (they will definitely remember like your professor did). You may be denied an opportunity because your friend came up with a better story in conjunction with your ecs and took the spot from you. If he submitted his apps already, I am clueless as to what you should. It's a hard situation but you have a responsibility to make it right. Next time, don't open your mouth about what you are doing in detail with people outside of your family. Maybe this is a lesson and perhaps only you can figure out what to do (for the good of yourself and others that may be harmed in process). Don't let the person take advantage of you, and stop communicating.
 
Do you have a LOR from the organization? If you do and he doesn't, then I doubt there will be a problem for you.

I agree that the professor possibly confused you two. I don't think it would hurt to bring it up to your friend that the professor mentioned your story and just see what he says.

It's possible the guy just lied to the professor (which obviously is not great) but isn't going to use your story anywhere on his application. And I doubt the professor put it in him LOR.
 
In my personal opinion, I think you should ask the professor before you mention anything to the "friend". He could potentially lie his way out of it or find a way to get deeper in it to screw you over. The professor would not do any such thing. I just think it's a safer move to talk to the professor first.
 
supermintyfresh said:
Now that you got me hooked, I'm dying to know what happened. Was it a mix-up? Did he really cheat on the application? Stay tuned for the next episode of Pre-Med Drama 😀
Click to expand...

Was it a simple misunderstanding? Will the AMCAS police blackball the friend? Does justice really get served? Find out on the next Dragon Ball Z...
 
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