Need advice- just found out I'm pregnant!

[Houdini]

Hi everyone. I really need some advice. I have submitted ERAS and have interviews lined up. I just found out I'm pregnant! This is good news but I'm not sure what to do about residency and interviews. My due date is the last week of May. A month could be enough time but what if the baby is late or if I need a C-section? I'm also concerned about starting internship exhausted from caring for a newborn. I have applied to a couple of programs that say they are family friendly and mention having kids during residency. My instinct is to be honest with the program directors and talk to them about what would work best for me and the program. I was thinking that maybe I could start a little late or use my vacation time in July, especially at the large programs I applied to. I'm a hard worker and I know I'll do a great job but I might need a little help from my program right at the beginning.

Is it a mistake to tell them? It will probably be obvious at my January interviews so I will bring it up then but it won't be obvious in November. I don't want to put myself in a bad position by not matching but I also don't want to put myself and my program in a bad position by waiting until after the match and finding out they can't make any adjustments for me. Taking a year off is not an option for financial reasons.

To give you an idea about where I might stand with programs, here is some info on me. I am a US senior. Step 1 was 231 and Step 2 was 251. I go to a middle tier allopathic school. I have good extracurricular activities, some good research experience, and strong letters of recommendation. I honored psychiatry. My other grades are some honors but mostly pass and high pass. Most of the programs I applied to are not super competitive.

Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks for your help.

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[billypilgrim37]

1) Congratulations! On soon having a kid, and on being an excellent residency candidate.

2) Full disclosure, no question.

3) This will be an excellent litmus test for just how family-friendly these programs are going to be. If they discrimate against you because you are pregnant, you don't want anything to do with them anyway. You will find an excellent program that will be thrilled to have you. And by the fact that they ranked you high enough to match, that will be a clear sign they are willing to support you.

4) Yes, somebody probably will discrimate against you. It sucks. Badly. I'm sorry about that.

 

[atsai3]

I just found out I'm pregnant! This is good news but I'm not sure what to do about residency and interviews. My due date is the last week of May. A month could be enough time but what if the baby is late or if I need a C-section? I'm also concerned about starting internship exhausted from caring for a newborn. I have applied to a couple of programs that say they are family friendly and mention having kids during residency.

Your having a kid requires preparation on the program director's part, for example if you end up needing to take July off or something. They can do things like start you on the psych half first (i.e., for programs that have a 6 mo psych / 6 mo med-neuro intern year), start you on a psych service where the loss of an intern would not be as disastrous, give you a lighter call schedule in July-August (e.g., so that if you end up taking time off then it won't be as much of a disruption to the other psych residents who will have to scramble to cover your calls), etc.

Echo the previous about this being a screener. If a program gives you **** about having a kid or screens you out because you're pregnant, well then you didn't want to go to that program anyway. Better to find out sooner rather than later.

Congratulations!, by the way.

-AT.

 

[marie337]

Congratulations ! I just happen to be in the same exact shoes as you! I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant after trying for well over a year. I'm only applying to one program, though, and I know it is very family friendly. I have my interview this week, and by no means am I bringing it up yet. I'm not even telling my family and friends until I'm at least 8 weeks. I figure I will wait until I'm out of the danger zone as far as miscarriage and then discuss it with the program director. My hope is to start internship on time but perhaps do an elective in July with no call and lighter hours. This is actually almost perfect timing, since we will have time off right before we're due and several weeks after as long as we don't go too far over!! Good luck with everything !

 

[strangeglove]

I'm not so sure that anyone needs to hear about your being pregnant before you match, as this should not alter your suitability as a candidate. Certainly, it is relevant after you are accepted somewhere, especially for the purposes of making schedules, etc. There are easier ways of finding out if a program is family friendly, such as asking residents in that program who have children about their experiences. If there are none, then you have your answer.

 

[Spiderwoman]

I don't have advise to help you with your decision. But regarding how family friendly a program is , I have experience ( well, other peoples' experiences ). It depends on a definition of "family friendly". I can give an example of a program in which most ( 80-85% ) female residents had at least one child over their course of training! They all had their maternity leave of absence, if needed time off for bed rest too. This program was NOT family friendly, or even more correct, friendly at all.

Yes if you have choice, you don't wanna be in an unfriendly program. If it happens that you are there, maternity leave protects you. They would have to tolerate it. What happens to your friends- other residents- I would let the program know at least right after the match. It would be good for every body.

Enjoy your motherhood.

 

[Houdini]

Thank you for the advice and the positive response. Any other suggestions are welcome

 

[psychattending]

I would encourage you to be up front and honest. PDs are well aware that interns and residents are in their reproductive years. I hope that all of us try to accommodate these major life events. We can do this much more easily and with less impact on other trainees if we know about it early. While you might not be showing during your interview, having a face-to-face discussion with the PD about the issue will be much easier than trying to have one several months later over the phone or email. Prior to interviewing you need to make sure you know your plans so you can have a productive talk with the PD. You need to figure out when you would ideally like to start training (July 1 vs. later) and then figure out with the PD what are the consequences of that choice. You should also give thought to how you are going to provide care for your infant when you are in the hospital during the day and while on call. In the end you should only rank those programs with which you can come to agreement. Don't rank any schools that you can't make work as putting down a school on the rank list indicates that you have assented to go to that program if you match there. You will not be able to claim hardship and be allowed to not fulfill your obligation because you would have known that you were pregnant when you filled out your rank list.

 

[swanny]

You are under no obligation to disclose during the interview process. You should let the PD know ASAP after the match if you don't disclose. However, I'm all for full disclosure for a number of reasons.
First, knowing that you may start late helps me to plan/schedule rotations. Personally, I don't see it as a deal breaker at all, even if you plan on starting a month or two later than July 1st. Now, if you wanted to wait longer (January 1st) then I can see that some programs would be less interested.
Second, if it is a deal breaker, you want to know that before you start at the program. My wife made it clear during her interviews for residencies that she planned on getting pregnant and wanted to understand the leave policies of the hospitals at which she was interviewing. Places that seemed unfriendly or reluctant to accomodate her were removed from her list. Most places will be accomodating!
Third, I believe full disclosure is always the best way to work with people. By discussing the issue ahead of time, you show yourself to be a person who works well with others, is considerate of the needs of others and is able to negotiate in good faith. I don't see the interview process as a poker game. I see it more like a marriage-you want to know as much about each other as possible before you commit for a four year period to an important formative and developmental time of your career.
Hope that helps-and good luck!

 

[Spiderwoman]

Earlier I wrote about knowing an unfriendly program. I need to clear that it was not a psychiatry residency. So no worry for us!

 

[Houdini]

Thanks again for the additional input. I really do appreciate it.

 

[docnizzi]

Thanks for posting this question, Houdini. Thanks to those who responded as well. I'm due the same week. Congrats and best of luck.

 

[marie337]

Thanks for posting this question, Houdini. Thanks to those who responded as well. I'm due the same week. Congrats and best of luck.

Hey congratulations docnizzi! I've just been thinking about how I will look like a hippo in my graduation gown! I'm thinking about asking for a leave of absence in July, except that I will really need the insurance coverage. What a great way to start off my residency, eh? I just don't think I'll be ready in 3-4 weeks to go back to work, especially as an intern. We'll see how it goes. Maybe the program director will offer it to me instead of me having to ask for it!