Need advice with difficult situation

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slamm27

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Hi everyone,

I'll try and make this short and sweet. So I graduated college in May 2016 and decided medicine was the path I wanted to take around that time, but just to be sure I started scribing and I am still doing that. I had been signed up to take an MCAT course in October and was excited to start the process. However, in September (right after signing up for the course) my family and I found out that my mom has advanced lung cancer and I stopped in my tracks and dropped the MCAT course. I was heavily considering my options, flip flopping between waiting to see what happens and be there for my mom (which is of course what I want to do, but then again time waits for no one) and applying to either MD/DO/or PA programs. She had been tested for mutations and is positive for a mutation that does have a targeted therapy (not traditional chemo) which may extend her life for quite a few years. However if she fails on the treatment it could* mean we only have months.

Here is where I am torn: I know she wants to see me succeed. I also know that if I don't try and move forward, when she is gone, I may become "stuck" and I won't have anything to move on to with my life to keep me busy. However I am also scared that if I get into a program, it will be incredibly difficult mentally to finish a program. The time that my family and I have right now is very precious and I know how time consuming a graduate program, particularly medical/PA school, can be. I am definitely considering PA more heavily as most programs are only 2 years ish, and time is clearly not on my side right now.

I know this situation is sort of different so I'm not expecting a right or wrong answer, but I just could use some insight. One of the doctors I am scribing for is really pushing me to move forward and apply/do this for my mom, however I think it's easy for someone else to say that when they haven't been in this situation themselves.

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I would suggest working on goals while not making hasty decisions. Going to PA school may seem quicker but you may not want to start a program for its speed and then have your whole career to regret being hasty. And if things are bad for your mom, do you want to start a professional program, potentially out of state, while she is battling? It's ok if you do, but while it would show her your dedication it would be stressful.

Why don't you start studying for the MCAT on your own until mid-2018, after which time you should have a better idea of your mom's course of treatment? You can still sign up for a prep course after that if things with your mom are stable.



Hi everyone,

I'll try and make this short and sweet. So I graduated college in May 2016 and decided medicine was the path I wanted to take around that time, but just to be sure I started scribing and I am still doing that. I had been signed up to take an MCAT course in October and was excited to start the process. However, in September (right after signing up for the course) my family and I found out that my mom has advanced lung cancer and I stopped in my tracks and dropped the MCAT course. I was heavily considering my options, flip flopping between waiting to see what happens and be there for my mom (which is of course what I want to do, but then again time waits for no one) and applying to either MD/DO/or PA programs. She had been tested for mutations and is positive for a mutation that does have a targeted therapy (not traditional chemo) which may extend her life for quite a few years. However if she fails on the treatment it could* mean we only have months.

Here is where I am torn: I know she wants to see me succeed. I also know that if I don't try and move forward, when she is gone, I may become "stuck" and I won't have anything to move on to with my life to keep me busy. However I am also scared that if I get into a program, it will be incredibly difficult mentally to finish a program. The time that my family and I have right now is very precious and I know how time consuming a graduate program, particularly medical/PA school, can be. I am definitely considering PA more heavily as most programs are only 2 years ish, and time is clearly not on my side right now.

I know this situation is sort of different so I'm not expecting a right or wrong answer, but I just could use some insight. One of the doctors I am scribing for is really pushing me to move forward and apply/do this for my mom, however I think it's easy for someone else to say that when they haven't been in this situation themselves.
 
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Hi everyone,

I'll try and make this short and sweet. So I graduated college in May 2016 and decided medicine was the path I wanted to take around that time, but just to be sure I started scribing and I am still doing that. I had been signed up to take an MCAT course in October and was excited to start the process. However, in September (right after signing up for the course) my family and I found out that my mom has advanced lung cancer and I stopped in my tracks and dropped the MCAT course. I was heavily considering my options, flip flopping between waiting to see what happens and be there for my mom (which is of course what I want to do, but then again time waits for no one) and applying to either MD/DO/or PA programs. She had been tested for mutations and is positive for a mutation that does have a targeted therapy (not traditional chemo) which may extend her life for quite a few years. However if she fails on the treatment it could* mean we only have months.

Here is where I am torn: I know she wants to see me succeed. I also know that if I don't try and move forward, when she is gone, I may become "stuck" and I won't have anything to move on to with my life to keep me busy. However I am also scared that if I get into a program, it will be incredibly difficult mentally to finish a program. The time that my family and I have right now is very precious and I know how time consuming a graduate program, particularly medical/PA school, can be. I am definitely considering PA more heavily as most programs are only 2 years ish, and time is clearly not on my side right now.

I know this situation is sort of different so I'm not expecting a right or wrong answer, but I just could use some insight. One of the doctors I am scribing for is really pushing me to move forward and apply/do this for my mom, however I think it's easy for someone else to say that when they haven't been in this situation themselves.
Very sorry to hear this news.

While I understand your thinking relative to your mom's desires, I caution you that you are headed for disaster on the MCAT if you are not emotionally ready for it, much less academically prepared. Taking the exam when you're not at your best means a [poor result, and having your judgement questioned.

Thus, take the exam only when you're 100% ready. You only have one mom, and there are not only tons of med schools, more will be opening thier doors by the time you're ready to apply.

In the mean time, good luck!
 
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I would hold off on taking the MCAT/applying until you have a better idea of how much time your mom has left. Medical school can wait, family is more important.
 
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Thank you all for your replies. I’ve been thinking the same things... take it slow and still prepare, and see how things go over the next few months (we’re waiting on a lot more results/testing). Every day I have a different feeling towards it. I was especially conflicted after I had this same conversation with the doctor I work with... he was trying hard to encourage me and it really had me thinking. Prior to that conversation I was heavily leaning more towards waiting for a bit before doing anything. Also I would only apply to schools nearby (Thankfully I live in an area with multiple schools within an hour or less driving distance to home). Schools that are out of state/driving distance I would not even think of applying to, I have to be close to home for now. Limits my options if I do apply but it is what it is
 
Yea these programs and the MCAT aren't going anywhere. The only thing yo uwant to avoid now is taking an MCAT when you're not ready that will seriously impact your app going forward. You're working, you can also add volunteering and other stuff if you wanted to. All of these things are slowly but surely improving your app.
 
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I agree with @Goro. My dad was diagnosed with ALS when I was an MS-2, and he died two months after I started my intern year. It was an incredibly difficult thing for me and that showed in my Step 3 score, which was 20-25 points below my Step 1/2 scores. Now, I had already matched (and had an angel wife and a saint TY program director), so I'd already passed the weeding-out points to my desired career. You, on the other hand, don't have that luxury. Whether you decide to pursue your goal now or wait, you need to do it when you're in a mental frame that lends itself to success. Only you can know when that is.

This is not a dig on PAs, but if you want MD/DO and do PA instead because it's faster, you'll regret it forever. I know your mother's illness is terribly traumatic, but don't let her circumstances determine the course of your career for the next 40 years.

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Totally unqualified to give this advice, but: If your gut says wait, I would wait.
I understand that your conversation with the doc swayed you a little, but in the end, you hit the nail on the head- it's easy for someone to give (well-intentioned) advice, but they don't actually have to live it.

On another note, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I would be a puddle of tears and anxiety right now, so the fact that you are able to coherently and logically think through your options is quite frankly very impressive. It's clear that you have some very solid inner strength, so I think that if you take your time and plan things out for the long run, you'll be able to self-motivate to achieve your goals.
 
Very sorry to hear about your mom. I think that the wrong thing to do would be to make any decision now that sacrifices your long-term prospects. Don't go to PA school if you want to be an MD. In 40 years, you will be on your own, and you probably won't be happy having made your career as a PA because of this unfortunate illness at an unfortunate time.

I also think it would be a mistake to apply only to your local schools. When you want to go to med school, whether that's now or later, give it your best shot. You also don't want to apply now, not get in, and then deal with re-applying later.

Best of luck with the decision and I hope your mom's prognosis is favorable and you enjoy lots more time with her.
 
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Sorry to hear about this,
No one can answer this question as well as a conversation between you and your mom.
 
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