Need input on a story for my PS

[MedicineMan99]

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I will be applying to family medicine residencies only. I have a story I want to start my PS with but am worried it is too controversial/sends the wrong message. I would appreciate some input.

Basically the story is when I witnessed a FM attending yelling at a patient when it was not at all appropriate. He basically was frustrated that she wanted relief from a chornic condition and came back to him even though she'd been too lots of specialists (who couldn't help her). Instead of providing empathy, support, etc.- he yelled at her for being ignorant in thinking he could help. The patient (who I believe really was in pain) started crying and it was really a sad event. I saw how much it hurt the patient.

I want to tell this story as the opener and then talk about how it further inspired me to provide patients with the care they need- since so many don't get it. Of course, I'll also talk about all the other standard FM PS stuff.

My concern is that PDs may think I had bad training (even though we all have at least 1 bad attending). I also fear that I am portraying FM to them in a negative light. On the other hand, though, I think it could be inspiring. Regardless, I appreciate any input.

 

[gutonc]

Did you call your attending on his behavior at the time it happened? If so, include the story, how he responded and how you remediated your failure in the clerkship after he turned on you. That's a good story.

If you kept your head down and your mouth shut then (as 99.99% of med students would do in that setting), then now is not the time to act all macho. Nobody likes a Monday morning quarterback or a traitor. Its easy to show "courage" after the fact when there are no possible repercussions.

 

[MedicineMan99]

Did you call your attending on his behavior at the time it happened? If so, include the story, how he responded and how you remediated your failure in the clerkship after he turned on you. That's a good story.

If you kept your head down and your mouth shut then (as 99.99% of med students would do in that setting), then now is not the time to act all macho. Nobody likes a Monday morning quarterback or a traitor. Its easy to show "courage" after the fact when there are no possible repercussions.

I appreciate your honesty. No I didn't do anything because it was not my place to do so. I plan on writing about that as well in the PS- how I felt powerless at that moment. Perhaps I should have spoken up but I didn't.

 

[babel]

I would have to agree that a story that focuses on how another medical professional made a mistake is not the best way to kick off a PS, even though I am sure your feelings about the situation are truthful and justified. Just sets the wrong tone. Pick another story.

 

[humabot]

I will be applying to family medicine residencies only. I have a story I want to start my PS with but am worried it is too controversial/sends the wrong message. I would appreciate some input.

Basically the story is when I witnessed a FM attending yelling at a patient when it was not at all appropriate. He basically was frustrated that she wanted relief from a chornic condition and came back to him even though she'd been too lots of specialists (who couldn't help her). Instead of providing empathy, support, etc.- he yelled at her for being ignorant in thinking he could help. The patient (who I believe really was in pain) started crying and it was really a sad event. I saw how much it hurt the patient.

I want to tell this story as the opener and then talk about how it further inspired me to provide patients with the care they need- since so many don't get it. Of course, I'll also talk about all the other standard FM PS stuff.

My concern is that PDs may think I had bad training (even though we all have at least 1 bad attending). I also fear that I am portraying FM to them in a negative light. On the other hand, though, I think it could be inspiring. Regardless, I appreciate any input.

Don't do it. You will be evaluated and interviewed by attendings. Attendings stick together just as students stick together. You will be doomed. Don't bring it up during your interviews either.

 

[Captopril]

I have no experience in PS writing until recently, but as an outside observer this seems like a terrible way to start a PS. Don't mean to be discouraging, but maybe it's better to scrap this idea and try to focus on something positive as your opener. Besides the fact that the PD might get butt hurt that you called out one of his brethren, it also just sets a negative mood for the rest of the essay.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

I'm happy to disagree. I think it's a fine thing to talk about in your PS. I'm not going to judge your entire medical training based upon one preceptor's behavior in one episode. And, I'm sure we've all seen something similar, so a story like this will resonate.

I think as long as you focus on you -- what you learned from the situation (and not how bad the other physician was) -- it will be fine.

 

[Captopril]

I'm happy to disagree. I think it's a fine thing to talk about in your PS. I'm not going to judge your entire medical training based upon one preceptor's behavior in one episode. And, I'm sure we've all seen something similar, so a story like this will resonate.

I think as long as you focus on you -- what you learned from the situation (and not how bad the other physician was) -- it will be fine.

...aaaaaaaaaand once again it's proven that I don't know what I'm talking about 🙄

 

[jackieMD2007]

I would have to agree that a story that focuses on how another medical professional made a mistake is not the best way to kick off a PS, even though I am sure your feelings about the situation are truthful and justified. Just sets the wrong tone. Pick another story.

I'm going to agree here, pick a story with a more positive tone. 😉

 

[PlutoBoy]

I totally like your story! It will show what shaped your commitment to primary care and FM in particular, and that is one thing that PD want: commited students that want to improve the field, and that is exactly what your story conveys. I say go for it!

P.D.: If you do a PS that is really honest and stands out, you will be remembered. 👍

 

[humabot]

I totally like your story! It will show what shaped your commitment to primary care and FM in particular, and that is one thing that PD want: commited students that want to improve the field, and that is exactly what your story conveys. I say go for it!

P.D.: If you do a PS that is really honest and stands out, you will be remembered. 👍

you will be remembered in a very negative light. keep things positive. for after all you are going to be a family doc.

 

[medc]

I'm always in agreement with aProgDirector's insightful posts. But on this one I have to disagree.

I think your story makes you appear somehow resentful of that experience. focus on something more positive and perhaps a little lighter to read. avoid the drama.

 

[notdeadyet]

Agree with the others. The story above has the potential to give the impression that your motivations to your field are inspired by not wanting to yell at your patients and make them cry.

"I can do better than ____" is a dicey strategy for making yourself appear like a strong applicant.

 

[QofQuimica]

I agree with the majority: don't do it. It's unnecessarily risky, and you can surely make your point in some more positive, less potentially offensive way. aProgDirector may like your idea, but other PDs will be put off, just as several people posting here are. Even if "only" 25% of the PDs who read your essay dislike it, isn't that 25% too many?

 

[Luv2Cut]

I wouldn't include that story in your PS. For one you would appear to those programs reviewing our application to be passing judgement on a practicing physician. While I do not condone yelling at pts., I believe I know where this doc is coming from.

You must know that pts with a chronic pain syndrome can be extremly manipulative and coercive. They know exactly what they are doing. Being a good doctor and providing pts with what they need is more than supplying pain meds to a pt when they start crying. Its having the courage to not do it because you know it will send them down the path of addiction and heartache.

 

[peppy]

You must know that pts with a chronic pain syndrome can be extremly manipulative and coercive. They know exactly what they are doing. Being a good doctor and providing pts with what they need is more than supplying pain meds to a pt when they start crying. Its having the courage to not do it because you know it will send them down the path of addiction and heartache.

Yes, some attendings might view the story as showing that you don't have a realistic understanding of some of the negatives of the field. If I were interviewing people for FM, honestly I would probably prefer someone who had a realistic view of the fact that some patients are going to be whiny, manipulative, mentally ill, drug-seeking, etc. than someone who was expecting to be the savior of the world and had an idealistic view of all patients being suffering angels.
Even though I have never yelled at a patient, I have had patients who were very frustrating to deal with and I can sort of understand how an attending could lose patience with one. I believe that a lot of attendings would think of those pain in the butt patients they've had when reading your PS story and it might backfire on you.

 

[GuzzyRon]

Well, just to add one more soldier to the army of people saying "DON'T DO IT!"