PsychGreen86
Full Member
- Joined
- May 2, 2023
- Messages
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Hello! Long time lurker, first time posting. I will try to paint a full picture in a concise way in hopes that I can get some feedback. š
Childhood brief: Grew up in a dysfunctional home, DV, neglect, mother and sister suffer from mental disabilities. I fought, drank, in high school, lost creative writing scholarship. Fast forward, married at 18, attended intensive pastoral counseling, started popping out kids, cleaned up.
Current situation: Happily married, I am now late thirties with a Bachelor degree in Behavioral Health despite poor executive functioning. I worked corporate jobs in between kids and was always depressed there and hated them. I was well liked, often promoted, but as soon as my husband climbed the ranks at work, I was out. Happy to be a SAHM and taught myself to cook from scratch. I may even have separation anxiety from my kids. I hate being away from them for extended periods and practice very attached parenting. Child one freshman in high school. Child three is neurodiverse and homeschooling and doing awesome. Child seven is cooking in the oven. Hubby is an awesome dad who works long hours running a construction group and occasionally volunteers at a menās ministry.
Grad school: unfortunately, my husband will not be able to provide for us long-term. He will probably kill himself trying if he has to. We always knew I would eventually have to go back to work. I have wanted to be a clinical psychologist since I was 12. When I started having all these kids I settled on a LCSW pathway. My BSW program was miserable which is why I switched even though it wouldāve save me time in the long run. I tend to hyper focus on things for the better part of the year (such as homesteading/farming only to conclude I hate the smell of cow poop and have no green thumb, I just want some solitude and organic fresh food for my kids). Every few years I hyperfocus on what it would take to become a Clinical Psychologist rather than LCSW which my husband dismisses as āthere she goes again. You want to homestead, move abroad, and become a doctor.ā In reality, the desire to become a clinical psychologist never went away.
The problem: Iāve been in social work groups for almost two decades, socially, or brief volunteer stints, or providers, or online. By and large, I do not like the overall profession. I do not see myself as a social worker. Iāve been hitting my head against the wall with my unmotivated, frequently hospitalized BPD sister my entire adult life. Iāve been translating documents into English for my husbandās workers and connecting them with resources forever. Iāve been in HR. Iāve even dealt with unpleasant and incompetent CPS workers, albeit briefly, after my decision to homeschool. My most excruciating classes were Intro to Case Management, Group Counseling Dynamics, and Social Work Principles. My FAVORITE classes were Abnormal Psych, Trauma in Childhood, Child Psych and Development. I looked at multiple sample curriculum for MSW and PsyD. I know many land on MSWs to shorten school and debt because āend game is therapyā, and I DO want to provide therapy, 75% of the time, but also I just love the study of human behavior and books like The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog, etc. I need to make money. Seven kids. Living frugal not looking to get rich.
The question: Am I being unreasonable or idealistic? Do I need to just let my dream die because itās extremely difficult and time consuming, possibly even selfish? Would a PsyD provide a better return for my family and life/work balance or not really? LCSW job postings are EVERYWHEREā¦. PsyD not so much.
Side note: Iāve researched the career paths extensively, I know the requirements, GRE, intern, post doc, etc etc as well as LCSW requires post degree supervision which you often pay a ton of money for šunless you land a job with supervision, then take the test.
Side side note: I would prefer not working in public schools.
Please donāt hate me for length. Iām pregnant, please donāt tear me to shreds.š THANK YOU!
Childhood brief: Grew up in a dysfunctional home, DV, neglect, mother and sister suffer from mental disabilities. I fought, drank, in high school, lost creative writing scholarship. Fast forward, married at 18, attended intensive pastoral counseling, started popping out kids, cleaned up.
Current situation: Happily married, I am now late thirties with a Bachelor degree in Behavioral Health despite poor executive functioning. I worked corporate jobs in between kids and was always depressed there and hated them. I was well liked, often promoted, but as soon as my husband climbed the ranks at work, I was out. Happy to be a SAHM and taught myself to cook from scratch. I may even have separation anxiety from my kids. I hate being away from them for extended periods and practice very attached parenting. Child one freshman in high school. Child three is neurodiverse and homeschooling and doing awesome. Child seven is cooking in the oven. Hubby is an awesome dad who works long hours running a construction group and occasionally volunteers at a menās ministry.
Grad school: unfortunately, my husband will not be able to provide for us long-term. He will probably kill himself trying if he has to. We always knew I would eventually have to go back to work. I have wanted to be a clinical psychologist since I was 12. When I started having all these kids I settled on a LCSW pathway. My BSW program was miserable which is why I switched even though it wouldāve save me time in the long run. I tend to hyper focus on things for the better part of the year (such as homesteading/farming only to conclude I hate the smell of cow poop and have no green thumb, I just want some solitude and organic fresh food for my kids). Every few years I hyperfocus on what it would take to become a Clinical Psychologist rather than LCSW which my husband dismisses as āthere she goes again. You want to homestead, move abroad, and become a doctor.ā In reality, the desire to become a clinical psychologist never went away.
The problem: Iāve been in social work groups for almost two decades, socially, or brief volunteer stints, or providers, or online. By and large, I do not like the overall profession. I do not see myself as a social worker. Iāve been hitting my head against the wall with my unmotivated, frequently hospitalized BPD sister my entire adult life. Iāve been translating documents into English for my husbandās workers and connecting them with resources forever. Iāve been in HR. Iāve even dealt with unpleasant and incompetent CPS workers, albeit briefly, after my decision to homeschool. My most excruciating classes were Intro to Case Management, Group Counseling Dynamics, and Social Work Principles. My FAVORITE classes were Abnormal Psych, Trauma in Childhood, Child Psych and Development. I looked at multiple sample curriculum for MSW and PsyD. I know many land on MSWs to shorten school and debt because āend game is therapyā, and I DO want to provide therapy, 75% of the time, but also I just love the study of human behavior and books like The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog, etc. I need to make money. Seven kids. Living frugal not looking to get rich.
The question: Am I being unreasonable or idealistic? Do I need to just let my dream die because itās extremely difficult and time consuming, possibly even selfish? Would a PsyD provide a better return for my family and life/work balance or not really? LCSW job postings are EVERYWHEREā¦. PsyD not so much.
Side note: Iāve researched the career paths extensively, I know the requirements, GRE, intern, post doc, etc etc as well as LCSW requires post degree supervision which you often pay a ton of money for šunless you land a job with supervision, then take the test.
Side side note: I would prefer not working in public schools.
Please donāt hate me for length. Iām pregnant, please donāt tear me to shreds.š THANK YOU!