Negative Interview Experience

[IDK What??]

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OK.. so I had a negative experience at a recent interview and I was hoping to gain some perspective/advice on how to proceed.

I initially really liked this school and thought it was going to be a great fit for me. I had a couple of interviews throughout the day and they were all enjoyable until the last one. I’m assuming it was meant to be a stress interview judging by how everything I said was torn apart. That isn’t my issue. I understand that is often part of the process.

What kind of surprised me was what was said at the end of the interview. I have palmar hyperhidrosis so sweaty hands is my baseline. I use antiperspirants and stuff and do my best to dry my hands before shaking other people’s hands, but it doesn’t always help. I shook the interviewer’s hand as we walked out to the waiting area where some other applicants were waiting. The interviewer then proceeded to tell me in front of the other applicants that I should “try not to sweat so much”. I was so taken aback that I had no time to respond before they called the next interviewee. So overall, I was pretty upset that they pretty much openly insulted a physical attribute/condition of mine in front of the other applicants. Granted, no one mentioned anything so I have no idea who actually heard what the interviewer said.

I guess what I’m wondering is if I’m overreacting to this? Like am I making this a bigger deal than it is? Should I mention something to the school about it? I’m afraid if I say something it may hurt my chances at this school and up until this point, it was a real contender on my list. Luckily, I have other acceptances/waitlists so I have options. I've just never left an interview feeling badly about myself before... I just don’t know what to do.

 

[puahate]

I had someone call me n***** on my way to class. You are fine.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

They were likely just trying to give you advice for your next interview. Did you tell them previously that you had that condition? People sweat when they’re nervous. It’s not strange that they might have just thought you were nervous.

I doubt it negatively affected you.

 

[Goro]

OK.. so I had a negative experience at a recent interview and I was hoping to gain some perspective/advice on how to proceed.

I initially really liked this school and thought it was going to be a great fit for me. I had a couple of interviews throughout the day and they were all enjoyable until the last one. I’m assuming it was meant to be a stress interview judging by how everything I said was torn apart. That isn’t my issue. I understand that is often part of the process.

What kind of surprised me was what was said at the end of the interview. I have palmar hyperhidrosis so sweaty hands is my baseline. I use antiperspirants and stuff and do my best to dry my hands before shaking other people’s hands, but it doesn’t always help. I shook the interviewer’s hand as we walked out to the waiting area where some other applicants were waiting. The interviewer then proceeded to tell me in front of the other applicants that I should “try not to sweat so much”. I was so taken aback that I had no time to respond before they called the next interviewee. So overall, I was pretty upset that they pretty much openly insulted a physical attribute/condition of mine in front of the other applicants. Granted, no one mentioned anything so I have no idea who actually heard what the interviewer said.

I guess what I’m wondering is if I’m overreacting to this? Like am I making this a bigger deal than it is? Should I mention something to the school about it? I’m afraid if I say something it may hurt my chances at this school and up until this point, it was a real contender on my list. Luckily, I have other acceptances/waitlists so I have options. I've just never left an interview feeling badly about myself before... I just don’t know what to do.

Yes, you're over reacting, and med school and residency will be worse, BTW.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Keep it professional. While some might view this as an obvious case of overreacting, it is possible to convey that without insulting another poster.

 

[PickleRickelus]

They probably just meant to say that you shouldn't be so nervous and to relax. I'm sure if the interviewer knew about your condition then they wouldn't have said anything. Don't take it personal.

 

[whorobbedthewoods]

Keep it professional. While some might view this as an obvious case of overreacting, it is possible to convey that without insulting another poster.

What exactly is the policy for censoring insulting and unprofessional comments? I've seen comments in other threads deleted which were, in my view, less pointedly rude than the one above.

OP, I actually agree with you that your interviewer was intentionally being kind of a jerk here (maybe as part of your stress interview, as you say). I'm a little confused how others are interpreting a suggestion that a person "sweat less" as in any way "helpful." But this is pretty small potatoes. Can't speak for medicine, but I imagine it's like other walks of life in that you're gonna deal with a lot of people like this going forward. I don't want to make assumptions about your background, how old you are, etc., but my impression from your post is that you'd be well-served to develop thicker skin. If you loved the school otherwise, then YES, I think you'd be overreacting to let an off-color comment impact your view.

 

[whorobbedthewoods]

I mean, I'm definitely not the type to be overly sensitive about stuff but I gotta disagree with what's been said above - this was fairly rude of the interviewer to say, especially in front of other applicants. Even assuming the interviewer wasn't aware of OP's condition, how is a comment like that helpful in any way? It's not like you can control how much you sweat, it's literally involuntary lol. I don't see any value in criticizing people over things they can't control, especially publicly and in an already stressful situation. Like what's the point other than making someone feel bad about themselves?

Exactly.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

What exactly is the policy for censoring insulting and unprofessional comments? I've seen comments in other threads deleted which were, in my view, less pointedly rude than the one above.

We can’t be everywhere. I happen to see that post because I posted in this thread. Often a reminder by a mod early on can help keep it at bay. If you see a post you think is rude or attacking someone, report it so we can know about it.

As for moderator actions, we are volunteers. Sometimes things take some time to happen because it takes us time to discuss it or for someone to get to a computer.

But yes, if a post contains nothing of substance and is rude and insulting, it should be deleted. Like the one above.

 

[ThrowawayShmoaway]

Hey OP, we all have that one thing (or many) that we’re self-conscious about. Yours is definitely reasonable since it has with some social aspects to it. When someone mentions or points it out—even innocently—it certainly feels very personal, and perhaps more personal than it was on its face. If I had to guess, the interviewer probably didn’t mean to insult you, and if he knew that this was a personal issue for you, probably would not have remarked upon it (hopefully).

Also, I know it sucks that he said it in front of everybody, but those interviewees probably didn’t even think about it 5 seconds later. We’re all so in our own heads during interview days, and they were probably just as consumed about their own performances and interactions as you were with yours.

 

[deleted804295]

This isn’t the oppression Olympics. OP can still be offended by something said to him even if you’ve had worse.

I definitely would be miffed if I had an interviewer call me sweaty in front of other people, but I don’t think that’s worth writing off the whole school.

While I agree that this was an out of place statement, Oppression Olympics is definitely not a phrase to be using after someone just conveyed they had the n word used against them.

I believe the point puahate was trying to get across is that what happened was not a big deal.

 

[deleted804295]

OK.. so I had a negative experience at a recent interview and I was hoping to gain some perspective/advice on how to proceed.

I initially really liked this school and thought it was going to be a great fit for me. I had a couple of interviews throughout the day and they were all enjoyable until the last one. I’m assuming it was meant to be a stress interview judging by how everything I said was torn apart. That isn’t my issue. I understand that is often part of the process.

What kind of surprised me was what was said at the end of the interview. I have palmar hyperhidrosis so sweaty hands is my baseline. I use antiperspirants and stuff and do my best to dry my hands before shaking other people’s hands, but it doesn’t always help. I shook the interviewer’s hand as we walked out to the waiting area where some other applicants were waiting. The interviewer then proceeded to tell me in front of the other applicants that I should “try not to sweat so much”. I was so taken aback that I had no time to respond before they called the next interviewee. So overall, I was pretty upset that they pretty much openly insulted a physical attribute/condition of mine in front of the other applicants. Granted, no one mentioned anything so I have no idea who actually heard what the interviewer said.

I guess what I’m wondering is if I’m overreacting to this? Like am I making this a bigger deal than it is? Should I mention something to the school about it? I’m afraid if I say something it may hurt my chances at this school and up until this point, it was a real contender on my list. Luckily, I have other acceptances/waitlists so I have options. I've just never left an interview feeling badly about myself before... I just don’t know what to do.

I'm not sure since I wasn't there but I often hear "try not to sweat it" when somebody is trying to console me. Maybe the interviewer liked you and wanted you to relax. Who knows.

 

[deleted804295]

Why? I admitted it was a much worse term. But to bring it up in an unrelated post can seem like an attempt to negate any hurt that the OP felt after what he heard.

I agree that was his point. I just think there are more compassionate ways to make it.

You're very quick. I revised my post to add "While I agree that this was an out of place statement". What you said is not wrong. The way you conveyed it although likely not intentional is a bit insensitive. The phrase oppression olympics is often used to discredit individuals who identify with marginalized groups but aren't necessarily marginalized.

 

[DrFortiusNatando]

I am sure the interviewer did not realize that the OP had a medical condition as the reason for his sweaty hands. Still, it was very unprofessional to say anything to the applicant, especially in front of other applicants. We interviewers see a lot of nervous applicants, and in fact, a big turnoff is a really confident interviewee, so I doubt this will hurt the OP.

Medical schools are big places and if OP likes this school the best, and they get in, OP should not let this interview experience affect the decision. I never interacted with my med school interviewers ever again - and I am still at the medical school 30 years later.

I think a bigger question is what to do when interviewers are unprofessional - worse than this example. One of my advisees had a particularly unprofessional (new) interviewer at a very top school; the interviewer said some terrible things about a sensitive issue (regarding a parent) that is central to applicant's life story. Applicant was really in a quandary about what if anything should/could do bc the school is a top choice. The applicant worries that this interviewer might hurt chances at that school bc they obviously had a less than ideal interview, bc this interviewer took an unprofessional stance. (This applicant has done well telling life story in a humble, compelling way and what was said by interviewer was objectively unacceptable in any context). Applicant also felt that the school should know that they have this rogue, new interviewer, who is not a good representative for the school, but of course, said applicant was not going to risk standing out as a complaining applicant. But are there instances where a student would have to say something to admissions?

 

[puahate]

I am sure the interviewer did not realize that the OP had a medical condition as the reason for his sweaty hands. Still, it was very unprofessional to say anything to the applicant, especially in front of other applicants. We interviewers see a lot of nervous applicants, and in fact, a big turnoff is a really confident interviewee, so I doubt this will hurt the OP.

Medical schools are big places and if OP likes this school the best, and they get in, OP should not let this interview experience affect the decision. I never interacted with my med school interviewers ever again - and I am still at the medical school 30 years later.

I think a bigger question is what to do when interviewers are unprofessional - worse than this example. One of my advisees had a particularly unprofessional (new) interviewer at a very top school; the interviewer said some terrible things about a sensitive issue (regarding a parent) that is central to applicant's life story. Applicant was really in a quandary about what if anything should/could do bc the school is a top choice. The applicant worries that this interviewer might hurt chances at that school bc they obviously had a less than ideal interview, bc this interviewer took an unprofessional stance. (This applicant has done well telling life story in a humble, compelling way and what was said by interviewer was objectively unacceptable in any context). Applicant also felt that the school should know that they have this rogue, new interviewer, who is not a good representative for the school, but of course, said applicant was not going to risk standing out as a complaining applicant. But are there instances where a student would have to say something to admissions?

Do you talk to @gonnif about advising?

 

[puahate]

This isn’t the oppression Olympics. OP can still be offended by something said to him even if you’ve had worse.

I definitely would be miffed if I had an interviewer call me sweaty in front of other people, but I don’t think that’s worth writing off the whole school.

Too late i won first.

 

[stayathomemom]

I'm just sitting here wondering how a person can voluntarily control the amount of sweat they produce (given they are already using antiperspirant).

 

[deleted804295]

I am sure the interviewer did not realize that the OP had a medical condition as the reason for his sweaty hands. Still, it was very unprofessional to say anything to the applicant, especially in front of other applicants. We interviewers see a lot of nervous applicants, and in fact, a big turnoff is a really confident interviewee, so I doubt this will hurt the OP.

Medical schools are big places and if OP likes this school the best, and they get in, OP should not let this interview experience affect the decision. I never interacted with my med school interviewers ever again - and I am still at the medical school 30 years later.

I think a bigger question is what to do when interviewers are unprofessional - worse than this example. One of my advisees had a particularly unprofessional (new) interviewer at a very top school; the interviewer said some terrible things about a sensitive issue (regarding a parent) that is central to applicant's life story. Applicant was really in a quandary about what if anything should/could do bc the school is a top choice. The applicant worries that this interviewer might hurt chances at that school bc they obviously had a less than ideal interview, bc this interviewer took an unprofessional stance. (This applicant has done well telling life story in a humble, compelling way and what was said by interviewer was objectively unacceptable in any context). Applicant also felt that the school should know that they have this rogue, new interviewer, who is not a good representative for the school, but of course, said applicant was not going to risk standing out as a complaining applicant. But are there instances where a student would have to say something to admissions?

Sorry but who are you...? Are you a sockpuppet of @Goro or an adcom wannabe or are you an adcom? No offense intended just trying to assess if your use of anecdotals are credible or not.

 

[DrFortiusNatando]

Do you talk to @gonnif about advising?

No, I do not. At this point in my career, I work full-time and do some pro bono advising for undergrads from several schools in my area, including at my medical school. I especially seek out those who can not afford other help. Eventually, in my retirement, I could see doing a mix of pro bono work along with some paid consulting work though.

One of my friends is a Neuroscience PhD at a neighboring college with lots of premeds in lab, so refers many undergrads from there to me as they do not have pulse on med school admissions. I also have 4 children ranging from age 20-32, so many of their friends have applied to medical schools over the past 10 years and I have always helped them as an advisor. My UG alma mater is only 90 min away and I keep active with alum network of applicants and the UG at my current med school always has tons. So lots of people always looking for advice...In addition to my clinical work, my main paid job at my med school is advising medical students in their career and residency search process and writing MSPE's.

 

[DrFortiusNatando]

Sorry but who are you...? Are you a sockpuppet of @Goro or an adcom wannabe or are you an adcom? No offense intended just trying to assess if your use of anecdotals are credible or not.

I wear many hats at my medical school. I have been a residency program director and now have a job in our dean's office, advising a proportion of each medical school class throughout their time in medical school, including dealing with students with academic, professional or other difficulties and helping them choose careers. I have been on the adcom at our school for at least 10 years - but just as an interviewer - but we all work together to update our processes etc. I joined the adcom 10 yrs ago bc in my job in the deans office, I did not just want to be complaining about the few "professionally problematic" students that admissions committee admitted. (We can usually deal with all kinds of issues, but professionalism issues just so hard to fix, so that is what I was hoping to avoid in our students!) So it was important to be a part of the acceptance process.

 

[Goro]

Sorry but who are you...? Are you a sockpuppet of @Goro or an adcom wannabe or are you an adcom? No offense intended just trying to assess if your use of anecdotals are credible or not.

I assure you that my namesake is the real deal. Not a sock puppet

 

[Great123]

depends.

If the interviewer was an all around jerk, reporting him may be reasonable.
On the other hand, he may have been so clueless that he didn’t realize what he said was very foolish.

Either way, sweaty hands isn’t a big deal, lots of people have this problem.
Good luck!

 

[Master Thinker]

Sorry but who are you...? Are you a sockpuppet of @Goro or an adcom wannabe or are you an adcom? No offense intended just trying to assess if your use of anecdotals are credible or not.

You have never heard of THE Goro?

 

[stayathomemom]

You have never heard of THE Goro?

That poster was replying to gorowannabe, not THE Goro.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

That was pretty rude and unhelpful of the interviewer. Particularly when it was said in front of the other applicants, to a person who was clearly nervous and could not control what their body was doing.

That said OP, I don’t think you can do anything about it now. But once your fate is set and you match... if it’s somewhere else... feel free to email admissions and tell them what happened. Just be honest about it and say that you were embarrassed that your medical condition was brought up in front of others. They will whack the interviewer upside the head and tell him not to be insensitive... maybe it will help another applicant.

 

[IDK What??]

Thanks for all of the input everyone! I really appreciate it. While it did come across as rude, I do think I was overreacting. I will definitely work on having thicker (...and hopefully drier) skin in the future!

 

[HomeSkool]

I'm a week late to the party, but I'm going to offer my take on this anyway.

It was a rude comment, but don't let that decrease your enthusiasm about the school. There are jerks everywhere and you just happened to run into one there. Don't let that person's rudeness impact your future.

And I agree with the other posters that you were being over-sensitive. Someone says something ride to you at an interview, you should just smile, think "Well, for rude!", and move on. I guarantee you spent more time and energy worrying about that interaction than the interviewer did, and you're not even the one who was rude. Don't spend your life thinking about how other people have tried to bring you down, spend it thinking of how you can build others up. You'll be a lot happier.