Net Worth at age 55

[makemoney2024]

Unfortunately for most women, there is alway something better out there.

Oh please. This can be said of men too. How many times do they dump their wives for a younger model. Or any other model.

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Members don't see this ad.

 

[We'llBeDoneIn15Minutes]

Wonder if the opposite is true. Chubby women docs with hot husbands!

Plenty of pathetic men would mooch off a chubby money bag. Probably have a few to cheat with on the side and then bail when they have milked her for every last dollar they could.

 

[makemoney2024]

Plenty of pathetic men would mooch off a chubby money bag. Probably have a few to cheat with on the side and then bail when they have milked her for every last dollar they could.

Yup. Plenty of PATHETIC men who target well to do women. Sad state of affairs it is.

 

[Splenda88]

Plenty of pathetic men would mooch off a chubby money bag. Probably have a few to cheat with on the side and then bail when they have milked her for every last dollar they could.

You have a point, but men tend to have affairs for the most part. They don't leave because it can be costly.

 

[We'llBeDoneIn15Minutes]

Yup. Plenty of PATHETIC men who target well to do women. Sad state of affairs it is.

More often women are on the hunt for the good life. Men, especially younger, with rare exception only want to know one thing about her... Is she hot? And then after the infatuation wears off you get honest with yourself: "I swear if she opens her mouth and says one more thing I will stick a fork through my eye to the back of my skull."

I feel bad for the ones that ride the looks way past expiration date, get married, a few kids, pounds and years later with basically nothing holding them together, and they wake up one day realizing they are miserable and hate their life and feel like there's no way out.

 

[makemoney2024]

You have a point, but men tend to affairs for the most part. They don't leave because it can be costly.

And yet women leave and are questioned why and told they are leaving good men.. Let people leave miserable marriages.

 

[aneftp]

You were speaking from the outside, looking in. You have no idea what’s going on inside that marriage and why does Anesthesiologist wants to leave this good-looking successful man.

My friend is a GI Doc who recently got divorced because her husband, the general surgeon, good looking guy decided to cheat on her with the scrub tech. Even after she tried to keep the marriage after the fact, he wanted it out. Once the kids came in succession he panicked is what we fathom.
You don’t know what’s going on in peoples marriages.

Because everyone is blaming her for leaving the marriage. It’s just not me. That’s what I mean by the woman (usually professional and at least college educated) is the one who decides to leave a marriage 90% of the time

Vs this original usap doc (original Texas 2014 buyout partner). He’s miserable in his marriage to former drug rep wife. Typical 5 foot 9 blonde. We been telling him to leave her. She gotten settled in the stay at home country club lifestyle. He won’t leave. It will cost him a fortune but Texas is a great state to get divorce. Alimony is limited to 5 years max. But he won’t leave. Why? Because men will stay in miserable marriages and suffer to save the family. But college educated women will break the family for their own happiness.

It’s just the way it is these days

I know it may sound insulting to hear this. If it’s insulting and bugs women when they read it. That just means there is a lot of truth behind what I’m saying.

 

[makemoney2024]

Because everyone is blaming her for leaving the marriage. It’s just not me. That’s what I mean by the woman (usually professional and at least college educated) is the one who decides to leave a marriage 90% of the time

Vs this original usap doc (original Texas 2014 buyout partner). He’s miserable in his marriage to former drug rep wife. Typical 5 foot 9 blonde. We been telling him to leave her. She gotten settled in the stay at home country club lifestyle. He won’t leave. It will cost him a fortune but Texas is a great state to get divorce. Alimony is limited to 5 years max. But he won’t leave. Why? Because men will stay in miserable marriages and suffer to save the family. But college educated women will break the family for their own happiness.

It’s just the way it is these days

I know it may sound insulting to hear this. If it’s insulting and bugs women when they read it. That just means there is a lot of truth behind what I’m saying.

Just because everyone is blaming her, doesn’t mean they know what’s happening in that marriage. No one really does. We only know part of the story. People need to leave. Lots of people are miserable and just want peace.

 

[kidthor]

Vs this original usap doc (original Texas 2014 buyout partner). He’s miserable in his marriage to former drug rep wife. Typical 5 foot 9 blonde. We been telling him to leave her. She gotten settled in the stay at home country club lifestyle. He won’t leave. It will cost him a fortune but Texas is a great state to get divorce. Alimony is limited to 5 years max. But he won’t leave. Why? Because men will stay in miserable marriages and suffer to save the family. But college educated women will break the family for their own happiness.

To be fair it's rather predictable - he sounds like just the sort of guy who'd marry a blond drug rep, park himself in Texas, and sell everyone out to private equity... sound like he got what was coming to him.

 

[aneftp]

To be fair it's rather predictable - he sounds like just the sort of guy who'd marry a blond drug rep, park himself in Texas, and sell everyone out to private equity... sound like he got what was coming to him.

That’s my point. If shoe was on other foot and it was woman who was bread (or anesthesiologist) earner and husband stay at home or lesser earner. Both miserable. The woman would leave.

The woman makes the decision 90% of the time to end a marriage.

 

[sevoflurane]

That’s my point. If shoe was on other foot and it was woman who was bread (or anesthesiologist) earner and husband stay at home or lesser earner. Both miserable. The woman would leave.

The woman makes the decision 90% of the time to end a marriage.

That is absolute 💩.

 

[sevoflurane]

We have some strong super cool women in our group who are primary earners. No failed marriages.
Quite happy husbands. Great families.

 

[makemoney2024]

We have some strong super cool women in our group who are primary earners. No failed marriages.
Quite happy husbands. Great families.

The sooner we as society start seeing the end of marriages as just the end of relationship and not a “failure” the sooner people will stop being so scared of being judged and leave miserable marriages.
Oh and the sooner people stop getting married in the first place. Hahha

 

[pgg]

Yeah. And the wives are nurses. From work.

Never really understood that trend. I got married before med school so I was only ever an observer of the nurse-marrying phenomenon.

So, so many nurses are just crazy people.

I have occasionally uttered the words, "if my own mother wasn't a nurse I'd hate them all" and I'm being sarcastic and dramatic when I say it, but there's a kernel of truth there.

Nurses cause about 87% of the headaches in the hospital. The other 13% come from LPs in the ER.

 

[aneftp]

The sooner we as society start seeing the end of marriages as just the end of relationship and not a “failure” the sooner people will stop being so scared of being judged and leave miserable marriages.
Oh and the sooner people stop getting married in the first place. Hahha

I am cynical since I see so many failed marriages. It’s what? 50% divorce rate? Doctors marrying other doctors have a 25% divorce rate?

But once again the data I keep telling everyone is true. Women professionals make the decisions to leave marriages more than men! A well known journal supports my claims

“Female physicians have a substantially higher prevalence of divorce than male physicians, which may be partly attributable to a differential effect of hours worked on divorce.”

Men will just tolerate bad marriages to keep
Family intact. Women professionals make the decision to breakup families for their own perceived happiness. .

Divorce among physicians and other healthcare professionals in the United States: analysis of census survey data

Objectives To estimate the prevalence and incidence of divorce among US physicians compared with other healthcare professionals, lawyers, and non-healthcare professionals, and to analyze factors associated with divorce among physicians. Design Retrospective analysis of nationally representative...

www.bmj.com

 

[makemoney2024]

I am cynical since I see so many failed marriages. It’s what? 50% divorce rate? Doctors marrying other doctors have a 25% divorce rate?

But once again the data I keep telling everyone is true. Women professionals make the decisions to leave marriages more than men! A well known journal supports my claims

“Female physicians have a substantially higher prevalence of divorce than male physicians, which may be partly attributable to a differential effect of hours worked on divorce.”

Men will just tolerate bad marriages to keep
Family intact. Women professionals make the decision to breakup families for their own perceived happiness. .

Divorce among physicians and other healthcare professionals in the United States: analysis of census survey data

Objectives To estimate the prevalence and incidence of divorce among US physicians compared with other healthcare professionals, lawyers, and non-healthcare professionals, and to analyze factors associated with divorce among physicians. Design Retrospective analysis of nationally representative...

www.bmj.com

Why do you keep saying this? Perceived happiness? Who made the rules that suffering in marriages wins some sort of prize? Let people leave and live. You have zero idea what’s happening in peoples marriages. What you should be doing is continuing to encourage your suffering male friends to leave their miserable marriages and try being alone for a while and have some peace.
Why is suffering such a good thing to you? At least you make it seem like it is. You don’t think kids notice crappy marriages full of contempt and people yelling at each other or not communicating or being bullied? They learn those horrible habits and can keep that going with their future relationships.
Stop acting like suffering men enduring terrible marriages is some kind of martyrdom and women leaving for perceived happiness is a bad thing.

One more time, you have very little idea of what is happening inside other peoples marriages.

And no, as a woman, I am not offended that other women are leaving what they think are horrible or unhappy marriages. I am proud of them for leaving. I applaud it and encourage it. Life is short. Women have long suffered since the beginning of this marriage situation and tolerated horrible treatment from men when they couldn’t leave because they couldn’t work and had no means to support themselves. Society sold us a lie that we had to get married and stay married even in misery. Leave and find happiness if you see fit.
Some marriages when they break up actually turn into better relationships.

 

[Dr. Rude]

Why do you keep saying this? Perceived happiness? Who made the rules that suffering in marriages wins some sort of prize? Let people leave and live. You have zero idea what’s happening in peoples marriages. What you should be doing is continuing to encourage your suffering male friends to leave their miserable marriages and try being alone for a while and have some peace.
Why is suffering such a good thing to you? At least you make it seem like it is. You don’t think kids notice crappy marriages full of contempt and people yelling at each other or not communicating or being bullied? They learn those horrible habits and can keep that going with their future relationships.
Stop acting like suffering men enduring terrible marriages is some kind of martyrdom and women leaving for perceived happiness is a bad thing.

One more time, you have very little idea of what is happening inside other peoples marriages.

And no, as a woman, I am not offended that other women are leaving what they think are horrible or unhappy marriages. I am proud of them for leaving. I applaud it and encourage it. Life is short. Women have long suffered since the beginning of this marriage situation and tolerated horrible treatment from men when they couldn’t leave because they couldn’t work and had no means to support themselves. Society sold us a lie that we had to get married. Leave and find happiness if you see fit.
Some marriages when they break up actually turn into better relationships.

Relationships are often about power. Pre marriage women often have more power-they have more sexual options than most males. Post marriage once the woman becomes pregnant the man often (especially if he is the breadwinner) has more power. In a long term marriage after the kids are launched or nearly so and there is presumably a significant nest egg the woman again has more power. @aneftp is correct that a supermajority of divorces in long term marriages are initiated by women.

But the decision to end a marriage often comes down to answering the Question Ann Landers used to give in her advice column:
"Are you better off with him (her) or without him (her)"? Perception of cost and perception of risk keeps lots of people in loveless marriages. Staying married may just be perceived as the least bad option.

 

[sloh]

I am cynical since I see so many failed marriages. It’s what? 50% divorce rate? Doctors marrying other doctors have a 25% divorce rate?

But once again the data I keep telling everyone is true. Women professionals make the decisions to leave marriages more than men! A well known journal supports my claims

“Female physicians have a substantially higher prevalence of divorce than male physicians, which may be partly attributable to a differential effect of hours worked on divorce.”

Men will just tolerate bad marriages to keep
Family intact. Women professionals make the decision to breakup families for their own perceived happiness. .

Divorce among physicians and other healthcare professionals in the United States: analysis of census survey data

Objectives To estimate the prevalence and incidence of divorce among US physicians compared with other healthcare professionals, lawyers, and non-healthcare professionals, and to analyze factors associated with divorce among physicians. Design Retrospective analysis of nationally representative...

www.bmj.com

There’s way more to what you’re taking about.

“Most of the research on “divorce initiation” asks former couples questions like “who wanted the divorce more” or “who asked for it first” rather than looking at divorce filings.

That said, female divorce initiation also isn’t unilateral - when a woman initiates divorce, men tend to agree in desiring the divorce. Additionally, sex differences in behaviors like infidelity (men cheat more) explain why women initiate more divorces.

For example, blaming "hypergamy" for divorce.
You know the vast majority of women aren't trading up when they divorce you, right?
But if they were, ask yourself how your value declined enough for a 40 year old woman with kids to find a better mate.

That is what the "hypergamy" discourse basically says:

"Women leave me because I am extremely low value and they can do better."

This is as much a factor of you as a person, your behavior, etc. as it is of a partner deciding not to be with you.
Never in the "women initiate most divorces" discourse do I see empirical reasons why marriages end.

It's like there is this implicit belief that ending a relationship is bad, that it doesn't even matter why it ended, and that whoever initiates a breakup is wrong.
Men are overrepresented in reasons cited for divorce: infidelity, violence, drug use. Men are the breadwinners and economic decline is another reason.

Men are literally at "fault" more than women are.

Part of the problem with this is also viewing divorce as an absolute bad, rather than the best of a set of options.

Look at the reasons for divorce again - a lot of people are massively dysfunctional on their relationships.

Divorce for many of them may be the best option.
These problems historically existed in relationships by the way, regardless of what divorce rates were.

It was never a virtue of marriage to be married to someone you didn't love, abused you, cheated, etc.

Low divorce rates were never metric of successful relationships.
People spending their entire lives with someone who repels them sexually or romantically, who makes them unhappy, etc. - this is no way to live.
You are fearful and inventing excuses to avoid dealing with a fact of human romantic relationships - they end. People fall out of love. They do bad things to each other.

And while you can reduce risk with sensible behavior, you cannot achieve certainty in a relationship outcome.
I have about 60 papers on divorce causes and reasons actually at the moment, things that predict divorces before marriage even happens, stated causes down the line like infidelity, personality traits.”

x.com

x.com

 

[makemoney2024]

Relationships are often about power. Pre marriage women often have more power-they have more sexual options than most males. Post marriage once the woman becomes pregnant the man often (especially if he is the breadwinner) has more power. In a long term marriage after the kids are launched or nearly so and there is presumably a significant nest egg the woman again has more power. @aneftp is correct that a supermajority of divorces in long term marriages are initiated by women.

But the decision to end a marriage often comes down to answering the Question Ann Landers used to give in her advice column:
"Are you better off with him (her) or without him (her)"? Perception of cost and perception of risk keeps lots of people in loveless marriages. Staying married may just be perceived as the least bad option.

I did not know women have more sexual options than men. And also we were talking of working professional women before with @aneftp and these women are contributing a large chunk to the next egg. So this power dynamic thing for them is moot because in many cases they are the breadwinner.

 

[makemoney2024]

There’s way more to what you’re taking about.

“Most of the research on “divorce initiation” asks former couples questions like “who wanted the divorce more” or “who asked for it first” rather than looking at divorce filings.

That said, female divorce initiation also isn’t unilateral - when a woman initiates divorce, men tend to agree in desiring the divorce. Additionally, sex differences in behaviors like infidelity (men cheat more) explain why women initiate more divorces.

For example, blaming "hypergamy" for divorce.
You know the vast majority of women aren't trading up when they divorce you, right?
But if they were, ask yourself how your value declined enough for a 40 year old woman with kids to find a better mate.

That is what the "hypergamy" discourse basically says:

"Women leave me because I am extremely low value and they can do better."

This is as much a factor of you as a person, your behavior, etc. as it is of a partner deciding not to be with you.
Never in the "women initiate most divorces" discourse do I see empirical reasons why marriages end.

It's like there is this implicit belief that ending a relationship is bad, that it doesn't even matter why it ended, and that whoever initiates a breakup is wrong.
Men are overrepresented in reasons cited for divorce: infidelity, violence, drug use. Men are the breadwinners and economic decline is another reason.

Men are literally at "fault" more than women are.

Part of the problem with this is also viewing divorce as an absolute bad, rather than the best of a set of options.

Look at the reasons for divorce again - a lot of people are massively dysfunctional on their relationships.

Divorce for many of them may be the best option.
These problems historically existed in relationships by the way, regardless of what divorce rates were.

It was never a virtue of marriage to be married to someone you didn't love, abused you, cheated, etc.

Low divorce rates were never metric of successful relationships.
People spending their entire lives with someone who repels them sexually or romantically, who makes them unhappy, etc. - this is no way to live.
You are fearful and inventing excuses to avoid dealing with a fact of human romantic relationships - they end. People fall out of love. They do bad things to each other.

And while you can reduce risk with sensible behavior, you cannot achieve certainty in a relationship outcome.
I have about 60 papers on divorce causes and reasons actually at the moment, things that predict divorces before marriage even happens, stated causes down the line like infidelity, personality traits.”

x.com

x.com

Who are you and why are you in my brain? I love you. You are Bringing all the evidence.
Why do we consider the end of a marriage a “failed” marriage? This is part of the problem.

I love you. Wanna get married and be miserable? 😭 😂😂😂😂

Edited to add: why are you so interested in divorce? Are you a divorce lawyer?

 

[sloh]

Who are you and why are you in my brain? I love you. You are Bringing all the evidence.
Why do we consider the end of a marriage a “failed” marriage? This is part of the problem.

I love you. Wanna get married and be miserable?

Edited to add: why are you so interested in divorce? Are you a divorce lawyer?

I think learning about divorce and what the common drivers are is a really good way to tease out what leads to marital dissatisfaction (which is quite common). Just off the top of my head, around slightly over 50% of marriages end in divorce. That doesn’t account for those people who stay married but are unhappy with their marriages (including but not limited to dead bedrooms). Probably looking at an institution that doesn’t work out for people like 80% of the time. Per James Sexton (an actual divorce lawyer), “that’s almost a negligent act to participate in.”

 

[makemoney2024]

I think learning about divorce and what the common drivers are is a really good way to tease out what leads to marital dissatisfaction (which is quite common). Just off the top of my head, around slightly over 50% of marriages end in divorce. That doesn’t account for those people who stay married but are unhappy with their marriages (including but not limited to dead bedrooms). Probably looking at an institution that doesn’t work out for people like 80% of the time. Per James Sexton (an actual divorce lawyer), “that’s almost a negligent act to participate in.”

That last line is deep.

 

[pgg]

I have about 60 papers on divorce causes and reasons actually at the moment, things that predict divorces before marriage even happens, stated causes down the line like infidelity, personality traits.”

Curious side interest for an anesthesiologist. Did you used to be a psychiatrist or counselor or something along those lines?

 

[aneftp]

There’s way more to what you’re taking about.

“Most of the research on “divorce initiation” asks former couples questions like “who wanted the divorce more” or “who asked for it first” rather than looking at divorce filings.

That said, female divorce initiation also isn’t unilateral - when a woman initiates divorce, men tend to agree in desiring the divorce. Additionally, sex differences in behaviors like infidelity (men cheat more) explain why women initiate more divorces.

For example, blaming "hypergamy" for divorce.
You know the vast majority of women aren't trading up when they divorce you, right?
But if they were, ask yourself how your value declined enough for a 40 year old woman with kids to find a better mate.

That is what the "hypergamy" discourse basically says:

"Women leave me because I am extremely low value and they can do better."

This is as much a factor of you as a person, your behavior, etc. as it is of a partner deciding not to be with you.
Never in the "women initiate most divorces" discourse do I see empirical reasons why marriages end.

It's like there is this implicit belief that ending a relationship is bad, that it doesn't even matter why it ended, and that whoever initiates a breakup is wrong.
Men are overrepresented in reasons cited for divorce: infidelity, violence, drug use. Men are the breadwinners and economic decline is another reason.

Men are literally at "fault" more than women are.

Part of the problem with this is also viewing divorce as an absolute bad, rather than the best of a set of options.

Look at the reasons for divorce again - a lot of people are massively dysfunctional on their relationships.

Divorce for many of them may be the best option.
These problems historically existed in relationships by the way, regardless of what divorce rates were.

It was never a virtue of marriage to be married to someone you didn't love, abused you, cheated, etc.

Low divorce rates were never metric of successful relationships.
People spending their entire lives with someone who repels them sexually or romantically, who makes them unhappy, etc. - this is no way to live.
You are fearful and inventing excuses to avoid dealing with a fact of human romantic relationships - they end. People fall out of love. They do bad things to each other.

And while you can reduce risk with sensible behavior, you cannot achieve certainty in a relationship outcome.
I have about 60 papers on divorce causes and reasons actually at the moment, things that predict divorces before marriage even happens, stated causes down the line like infidelity, personality traits.”

x.com

x.com

The Science Behind Why Women Are More Likely To Cheat - 21Ninety

When we ask who cheats more, we often already have an answer. Here’s what we know when it comes to who cheats more: men or women.

21ninety.com

Women cheat equally the same as men. Of course u can spin this saying women are unhappy and decided to leave thus why they start cheating

But regardless I was responding to the much earlier post about professional women having a harder time finding marriage partners as they age.

Because despite professional women “bringing more to the table” financially. Financially stable Men really don’t care what a woman brings to the table financially. So professional women are competing for these “high value men” with younger women. Now I don’t think a 36-42 never married yo professional dude should marry a 20 yo. But they may look for a 28-30 yo. The 33-36 yo women unfortunately may lose out to the younger women who are looking for these same men.

 

[sloh]

The Science Behind Why Women Are More Likely To Cheat - 21Ninety

When we ask who cheats more, we often already have an answer. Here’s what we know when it comes to who cheats more: men or women.

21ninety.com

Women cheat equally the same as men. Of course u can spin this saying women are unhappy and decided to leave thus why they start cheating

That’s not true. Pretty consistent with research on infidelity across the literature. About 40% of men, 20% of women.

Also one of the reasons women are more likely to initiate a divorce.

While I will acknowledge there are women who do cheat despite happy marriages, female infidelity is much more closely associated with low relationship satisfaction. You basically have to ruin your relationship before a woman will cheat on you or have an affair. Not always, but this is the usual trajectory.

Men, on the other hand, will cheat in a perfectly good relationship when satisfaction is high. You can do everything right as a woman and still get cheated on. Men will cheat even when they don't want to end a relationship. Women, less so.

 

[sloh]

The Science Behind Why Women Are More Likely To Cheat - 21Ninety

When we ask who cheats more, we often already have an answer. Here’s what we know when it comes to who cheats more: men or women.

21ninety.com

Because despite professional women “bringing more to the table” financially. Financially stable Men really don’t care what a woman brings to the table financially. So professional women are competing for these “high value men” with younger women. Now I don’t think a 36-42 never married yo professional dude should marry a 20 yo. But they may look for a 28-30 yo. The 33-36 yo women unfortunately may lose out to the younger women who are looking for these same men.

While men may not care about a female’s income and will prioritize youth/beauty/fertility, for long term mating they do care about other qualities like conscientiousness and intelligence (which tends to correlate with income). Also IQ is very heritable. If an intelligent high income man marries and has kids with a woman who is not that intelligent, guess how the kids will turn out?

The empirical observation that humans select mates who are similar in traits (virtually all traits: attractiveness, income, personality, behavior) is so widely seen and replicable that it is about as close to a “law” as you get in psychology.
Assortative mating is contrasted with hypergamy (as if these are somehow competing or incompatible theories). This makes me wonder how well these two ideas are being understood, because they are not in conflict with one another.
A selection “up” for anything doesn’t rule out that you will find a positive correlation between those traits in mate selection.

For example, if women select up in educational level this doesn’t mean that women at all levels of education are randomly distributed to the whole pool of men who have a higher level of education. Women without a higher education will be more likely to end up with men who have Bachelor’s degrees than men with PhDs. Women with Master’s degrees will be more likely to end up with men who have PhDs than the former group of women with no education.

Anyway assortative mating has never been “debunked” and not once have I ever seen such a claim in the evolutionary psychology literature or in any of the research on relationships regardless of field. Not one person who has researched assortative mating has ever claimed such a thing as far as I know.

How do we square this with the fact that obviously men care a lot about whether women are attractive or not?

Maybe this isn’t as common-sensically wrong as it seems. I know many rich male Google programmers, but I have never seen any of them marry a stunning black girl from the ghetto. Why not? Wouldn’t the hypergamy hypothesis pronounce this a good deal for both of them? He gets a beautiful wife, she gets a rich husband? And it’s not just a race thing, I’ve also never seen them marry a beautiful hillbilly from West Virginia, or a beautiful farmer’s daughter from Modesto. I don’t even really see them marry a beautiful girl from the suburbs with a community college degree.
True, men are usually the breadwinners and won’t need their wives to support them financially. But whether it’s nature or nurture, high-status successful women tend to raise high-status successful children; men know this, which incentivizes them to seek high-status successful wives regardless of their financial situation. Also, men have to live with their wives. They want someone who shares their norms and values. For upper-class men, that means upper-class women. So men have strong reasons not to “marry down” regardless of income. And even though women do care about men’s ability to provide, they’re thinking about these things too.

Is this by choice or social necessity? That is, when a rich man marries an average-looking rich woman, is that because he prefers her to a beautiful poor woman, or just because he doesn’t know any beautiful poor women well enough to ask them out? While it’s true that rich men might not know too many beautiful poor women, this itself seems to require explanation; if this was as good a deal as the hypergamists think, they would actively take steps to find them, or there would be social institutions to make such matches happen. Also, the rise of online dating makes it trivial to meet people outside your social class, but it seems to produce the same kind of class-matched couples as offline dating did. Also, rich people meet poor people all the time. Poor people are their secretaries, servants, waitresses, and Uber drivers. Sometimes they have casual sex with these people. They just don’t (usually) marry them. I think it’s choice.

What about looks?

Most of the studies I found were from one team in Florida which puts a lot of effort into showing why everyone else who thinks differently is wrong. I don’t know this team and I don’t know whether to trust their results, but they find pretty conclusively that marriages where the wife is more attractive than the husband are happier (see also here). In these marriages, both the husband and the wife are nicer to each other than in the reverse scenario. Attractive people are no happier in their marriage than unattractive ones overall; it only matters that the wife is more attractive than her husband.

Conclusions:

Educational hypergamy has gone into reverse. Now that women dominate education, they’re actively seeking less educated men, and vice versa. This seems to be because educational imbalances in favor of women have become normative; education is now a “proper” “feminine” trait.
In contrast, income hypergamy is still widespread, important, and causing problems for non-compliers. Is the norm weakening over time? It’s hard to tell.
Despite this, men and women display an equal and stunning degree of class homogamy. Men may use their class-based market value to purchase a little more education in a mate, and women to purchase a little more income, but both genders consider class first and foremost.

Women’s rising share of education isn’t directly damaging the marriage market. Women’s rising share of income might be, with one study suggesting it’s responsible for 23% of the decline in US marriages.

Finally, a practical question: to maximize your odds of getting a desirable spouse, should you make more money or less? For men this is easy: earn more. For women, it’s a harder question; earning more raises your status (which ought to get you a higher-status man), but also decreases your chances with men who make less than you. This study says that “income is not associated with the probability of marriage for women”, and it seems more likely to get you a better partner than a worse partner, so probably you should go ahead and get rich. But it’s possible that income is partly serving as a proxy for class, and on a causal level income has some totally different effect. So this one could still go either way.

 

[Shimmy8]

So 15% international? Got it.

 

[BLADEMDA]

This has become a Psychiatry forum pretty quickly.

 

[Splenda88]

This has become a Psychiatry forum pretty quickly.

Because most physicians either have a mood and/or personality disorder. Kidding.

 

[makemoney2024]

This has become a Psychiatry forum pretty quickly.

Psychology really. And it’s good stuff. More interesting than money talk to me.

 

[sevoflurane]

I am heavy VGT (attempt to steer thread back on track).

 

[sevoflurane]

 

[Splenda88]

View attachment 387123

I sold the VGT in my roth IRA and bought VOOG.

 

[rowsdower88]

I am heavy VGT (attempt to steer thread back on track).

1/4 of my assets is VGT

 

[sevoflurane]

Nice. I am long VGT, VDE, VOOG, VTI, ONEQ to name a few etf’s. 80% of my portfolio.

I (almost) NEVER sell these.

Currently holding a cash position in Vanguard making 5.29% instead of bonds. If the market dumps, I’ll do something w that. If not, glad to have that rate of return.

5-10% selective stocks like nvidia, costco, apple, amamzon. I’m def tech heavy, but also mostly weighted in VTI/Large caps.

Manage my own portfolio*

 

[Splenda88]

1/4 of my assets is VGT

That is a good buy.

 

[sevoflurane]

Also Diversified into real estate. 4 Vegas hotels 5th later this year. 3 open, one still under construction. Writing off profits on first 3 hotels as they ramped up. This is a great way to keep your tax burden low.

Vacation rental in Colorado. 4k/month. Perpetually rented out since covid.

 

[Shimmy8]

What’s the final tax burden on that look like? Just keep rolling profit into future investments until…?

Similar to 1031ish then.

 

[sevoflurane]

Ohh…. ohhh I forgot… $1000 in bitcoin experiment. 😂😂

 

[sevoflurane]

What’s the final tax burden on that look like? Just keep rolling profit into future investments until…?

Similar to 1031ish then.

No. I am not leveraging anything.

 

[sevoflurane]

Negative profits during construction and ramp up can offset future returns.

 

[sevoflurane]

Currently enjoying 90%+ occupancy rate/year on the open hotels. W/ that comes a larger valuation. Eventually sell all to REIT for big gains…. but just want to hold.

 

[triggermaster]

Nice. I am long VGT, VDE, VOOG, VTI, ONEQ to name a few etf’s. 80% of my portfolio.

I (almost) NEVER sell these.

Currently holding a cash position in Vanguard making 5.29% instead of bonds. If the market dumps, I’ll do something w that. If not, glad to have that rate of return.

5-10% selective stocks like nvidia, costco, apple, amamzon. I’m def tech heavy, but also mostly weighted in VTI/Large caps.

Manage my own portfolio*

I had similar individual stocks (AMZN, MSFT, NVDA) but switched to MGK to mix it up a little bit while staying invested in all those since they have done so well but I’m moving away from individual stock ownership.

 

[sevoflurane]

I had similar individual stocks (AMZN, MSFT, NVDA) but switched to MGK to mix it up a little bit while staying invested in all those since they have done so well but I’m moving away from individual stock ownership.

Amazon was a drag for a while.
Finally kicked it up a notch.
I also want to decrease individual stock ownership to less than 5%.👍🏽

 

[BLADEMDA]

Amazon was a drag for a while.
Finally kicked it up a notch.
I also want to decrease individual stock ownership to less than 5%.👍🏽

You need more diversification into mid caps and small caps. You have won the game. Why not take a little off the table by going 70/30 or 75/25?
This way you have some dry powder on hand plus less volatility in the portfolio. Either way you have done fantastic with your investments and should be proud of how you have managed your money. Yes, anesthesia got you started with a significant amount of capital but the way you have managed your portfolio is top level.

 

[Splenda88]

You need more diversification into mid caps and small caps. You have won the game. Why not take a little off the table by going 70/30 or 75/25?
This way you have some dry powder on hand plus less volatility in the portfolio. Either way you have done fantastic with your investments and should be proud of how you have managed your money. Yes, anesthesia got you started with a significant amount of capital but the way you have managed your portfolio is top level.

Why when these big cap companies control the US government? I am big/mega cap for the next 10 yrs.

 

[sevoflurane]

You need more diversification into mid caps and small caps. You have won the game. Why not take a little off the table by going 70/30 or 75/25?
This way you have some dry powder on hand plus less volatility in the portfolio. Either way you have done fantastic with your investments and should be proud of how you have managed your money. Yes, anesthesia got you started with a significant amount of capital but the way you have managed your portfolio is top level.

Thanks. There were def. some mistakes early on 15+ years ago, but between boggleheads, some books, sdn (there was a really good poster here that no longer posts) and bloomberg/financial news, things worked out. I watch markets and read up on financial news every day. Used to think it was mind numbing, but I enjoy it tremendously now.

I think it’s worth repeating to our young anesthesia audience that the first million is always the hardest. If you stick to a plan and keep emotions out of your decisions eventually your investment income outpaces your anesthesia income and that is a beautiful thing as the stress and grind of anesthesia is not inconsequential over the career of an anesthesiologist.

The older you get the closer you are to death.
Make a plan and enjoy your life- it’s yours.

 

[okayplayer]

Thanks. There were def. some mistakes early on 15+ years ago, but between boggleheads, some books, sdn (there was a really good poster here that no longer posts) and bloomberg/financial news, things worked out. I watch markets and read up on financial news every day. Used to think it was mind numbing, but I enjoy it tremendously now.

I think it’s worth repeating to our young anesthesia audience that the first million is always the hardest. If you stick to a plan and keep emotions out of your decisions eventually your investment income outpaces your anesthesia income and that is a beautiful thing as the stress and grind of anesthesia is not inconsequential over the career of an anesthesiologist.

The older you get the closer you are to death.
Make a plan and enjoy your life- it’s yours.

Great post man!

You are very humble, but I agree with Blade that you have done exceptionally well for yourself.

As for what you said, for my wife and I:
Time to 1m NW post residency: 5 yr, 11 mo
2m NW: another 1 yr, 7 mo
3m NW: another 1 yr, 4 mo

So our experience has echoed what you said about the first 1m being the hardest by far.

 

[Splenda88]

Great post man!

You are very humble, but I agree with Blade that you have done exceptionally well for yourself.

As for what you said, for my wife and I:
Time to 1m NW post residency: 5 yr, 11 mo
2m NW: another 1 yr, 7 mo
3m NW: another 1 yr, 4 mo

So our experience has echoed what you said about the first 1m being the hardest by far.

Interesting.

What did you do?

Are you telling me I can be financially independent in 3 yrs given my net worth is 1.1+ mil now?

 

[okayplayer]

Interesting.

What did you do?

Are you telling I can be financially independent in 3 yrs give my net worth is 1.1+ mil now?

I’m not sure my experience is atypical. Good stock market run the last few years, fairly high savings rate. 100% total stock market index, 1 primary residence. We keep it simple.