Never had a chance for a social life, feel like ruining my future to improve it

[BoxinMoxin]

This is my last thread about my social life, after this, I am just going to go to some self help forum and seek some assistance there or go to a Psychiatrist. I feel this may be becoming a chronic condition or something I may need to seek help for.

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS THIS: After college, what is the future like for people like me who want to finally have that social life. Is it impossible to get one or what?

Here are some cliffnotes about my life (no story)

- parents moved around a lot when i was a little boy, from europe to america and so on
- when we arrived in USA, we moved around to a lot of state
- around the age of 13, we finally settle down in a conservative town
- parents send me to a small high school, had around 300 kids overall, buy a house in a community full of retired people
- most classmates lived about 15 miles away from me and my parents would not let me go out to the mall, would yell at me if I ever exercised without asking them, and told me not to date a girl until I turned 18
- rebellion and wars happen with my parents and I, they make noise at home and I find it tough to study (playing their TV programs too loud, when I complain they said "good students can perform well in any given situation no matter how loud, now shut up and study", first year of high school goes down the pooper (2.8 GPA). 2nd year i improve and get a 3.4 gpa. get a 3.8 my junior year, and a 4.0 my senior year. regardless of it, i get pushed into applying for colleges which were clearly reaches for me, and parents tell me to only apply to a local university for safety. when i tell them about college admissions they say "we are older, we know more than you, now shut up and listen to what we say, anyone can put stuff up on college confidential and we as your parents want the best for you, everyone else would much rather see u fail".
- 1st year of college, dad picks my major for me, when i try to talk to him about it, he yells out loud telling me i am a f_ck up that should be happy he is even going to college, make me take 5 classes 1st semester without letting me drop any.
- after 1st semester, dad learns from his mistake (i do terrible), i stick up against him and tell him to get lost and tell him i am 18, he finally realizes his mistake and tells me i am free to chose what classes I want to take and whatever i want to do, this happened a few months ago

currently have around a 3.0 GPA

I never had a chance of a social life due to a childhood with parents who did not know what they were doing, they admitted this to me and said to me that my decisions would have given them better results and we have solved our issues now.

Problem is this though, I really feel that my chance of a social life is going to go away. I REALLY want to for once in my life live that life of partying, meeting lots of girls, going out clubbing, have a large group of friends to hang out with but at my current university it becomes tougher and tougher.

So far, I have decided to try my best to transfer to my state flagship school and party like crazy in my 3rd or 4th year of college, party and for once in my life experience that. In a short word, ruin my future.

Is it worth it in the sense that, will I ever have the chance to party like crazy and live the wild social life after med school or when I start working.

I would love to hear from those that have finished college.

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[CaliGirl14]

What? 😕 Why can't you just balance a social life and keep up with your academia? Sure you might lose some hours of sleep..but why the black and white?

 

[BoxinMoxin]

What? 😕 Why can't you just balance a social life and keep up with your academia? Sure you might lose some hours of sleep..but why the black and white?

i may have been misunderstood and i can understand why but I just want a normal college student life

at my current university most kids go to classes and then go home, a lot are cliquish, and i just want to be at your typical university and have that experience of living independently and for once in my life just party and enjoy it

 

[kexy]

So far, I have decided to try my best to transfer to my state flagship school and party like crazy in my 3rd or 4th year of college, party and for once in my life experience that. In a short word, ruin my future.

Is it worth it in the sense that, will I ever have the chance to party like crazy and live the wild social life after med school or when I start working.

It's not worth it. I'm sure you can party like crazy after residency... just choose the right specialty?

In terms of partying in college and succeeding in college, there's no reason you can't do both. Seriously. Transfer if it will make you happy, but don't intentionally ruin your future. Take it from someone who likes to party and has had a 4.0 for the last 5 semesters. Work hard, play hard... party on Thursday and Friday nights, work your butt off the rest of the week...


By the way, I haven't read your other threads, but can you rush a fraternity or something? That's like a built in social life right there, all you need to do is play the part for a few days, get a bid, suffer through a semester of pledging, and you can have all the parties/clubbing/friends you want.

 

[FrkyBgStok]

isn't this your third thread covering the exact same issue? seriously man, just go out and make some friends. say, "let's hang out" and let it go from there. it is a little weird that you are trying so hard. and no, partying isn't worth ruining your future.

 

[BoxinMoxin]

thats the thing tho, i have made friends, lots of them, but the problem always comes down to us complaining about our current university and how little there is to do in the town we are in

i have made friends with lots of PE, Arts, and business majors and majority are transferring out but see here is where the problem comes in

my gpa is too low and at my state university, if you have below 60 credits, you must have a 3.2 or higher, I have around a 3.0, after 60 credits u can transfer with a 2.8 and best thing that could happen here is I apply as a transfer my 1st semester of junior year and transfer for my final three semesters but that is strictly hypothetical

maybe i just need to stop thinking about the future but never having lived anything close to a good social life really upsets me a lot of times

N E ways I am going to go study, checking up on this thread some time next week maybe, i just may need to take my mind off this, thanks to all who have tried 2 help

 

[Undecipherable]

What explains your low GPA if you haven't been partying and socializing all along? Seriously, cut the crap and don't make it so black and white. Eat healthy, be time efficient and you'll have the energy and time to both study well and socialize (albeit socializing might not happen AS MUCH as you will be studying, but it will occur). Aim for striking a balance between those two things now, and you'll be an expert later in life/won't be simply working your life away.

 

[BenzylAcetate]

*deleted*

 

[ucsfstudents]

There's no "right time" to have a social life. It should be part of your normal routine. Your social life is what you make of it. Even busy medical students and physicians have social lives if they choose. The amount of time you dedicate to it depends on you. Don't overdo it and do something you'll regret in the future though. Having a social life doesn't mean going out and getting drunk, or doing stupid things you will regret later. Take it a step at a time and reach out to others.

Your relationship with your parents is not all that uncommon. Gradually work your way toward your independence, as you are doing, but don't do anything just to spite them. Also don't let them bully you into unhappiness. They can't dictate your life course for you. It seems like they are coming to this understanding.

 

[DrSteven]

Dude, stop posting these threads. The answers aren't going to change. There is totally a way to balance having a social life and doing well in school, and quite frankly it is not that hard to find. If living with your parents is an issue, get a job and pay for rent. Plenty of people I know do that, and life is great.

 

[UnclePhil]

Um... partying like crazy and ruining your future doesn't mean having a good social life.

 

[MaenadsDance]

Lord.

Mate, you should see a therapist. You have a lot of rage and blame you're laying on your parents, and however true it may be, at some point you've got to stop enjoying hating your parents and start planning how to get happy.

Also, partying like crazy is waaaay over-rated. Getting Ds in easy classes because you were up until 6 am drinking on weeknights sucks. Blowing off steam occasionally is a good thing, but getting alcohol poisoning and/or having embarrassing photos posted all over Facebook for all your future employers to see is just stupid as hell.

 

[BoxinMoxin]

alright, some mood I was in when I posted this thread, maybe i went a bit too far with it but more so i just want that life for once and i don't know how difficult it will be to get after college

and i know blaming my parents now is wrong, i could have been more assertive and let them know about the situation at hand

i am doing much better academically but seriously this part frustrates me sometimes....

thanks for all the help people and you have given great suggestions, I have tried meetup.com but most events end up having lots of people in their late 20s in them, I am only 19 and even though it is great I find it hard to relate to them but good advice is what they give about some stuff.....

 

[ppappui]

I dunno what you mean here. Social life in college means you hang out with friends, have fun, go out for food/drinks, play sports or do hobbies together, go on a trip somewhere with your buddies, have lunch after class, etc. If that's too hard for you, then you should definitely see a therapist and seek for help there, not here in SDN.

 

[1TB4RKSB4CK]

It looks like you want a social life rather than your future so why don't you just go a different route?

 

[UnclePhil]

alright, some mood I was in when I posted this thread, maybe i went a bit too far with it but more so i just want that life for once and i don't know how difficult it will be to get after college

and i know blaming my parents now is wrong, i could have been more assertive and let them know about the situation at hand

i am doing much better academically but seriously this part frustrates me sometimes....

thanks for all the help people and you have given great suggestions, I have tried meetup.com but most events end up having lots of people in their late 20s in them, I am only 19 and even though it is great I find it hard to relate to them but good advice is what they give about some stuff.....

If you're only 19, you don't need to use things like meetup.com, you're in college, having a healthy social life in college is extremely easy because everyone else in college is looking to make friends. Things like meetup.com are mostly for young, working people who don't have any time or opportunities outside of work to go around and meet people with common interests anymore.

Build rapport with classmates, join some clubs, get involved with things you're interested in. Just go meet other people. I have no idea where you got the idea that a good social life means ruining your future.

 

[ISUBird100]

From my experiences, the big party/club scene isn't for everyone. The school I attended had several bars/clubs with large crowds, loud music, and a plethora of dbags. Most of my friends loved going there, but I absolutely hated it. I've always been more laid-back (hooray for sports/dive bars)!

Point is, is that the club scene isn't for everyone. Perhaps you can visit a college with some friends that has that party atmosphere and decide for yourself.

Your GPA is at a 3.0. You say you wanna be a doc? You should be talking about improving your future, not ruining it!

 

[beeDOodle]

I have much more of a social life in med school than I ever had in college or high school. It is much easier to make friends and everyone just seems to get you .. also you all go through the same stuff so it is definitely a way to form tight bonds. My college was way too big and i spent most of my time studying .. I love med school ten times more .. you will find people that are like you wherever you go... and have the opportunity to be social and happy if you just make the effort .

 

[GS Mikami]

Lord.

Mate, you should see a therapist. You have a lot of rage and blame you're laying on your parents, and however true it may be, at some point you've got to stop enjoying hating your parents and start planning how to get happy.

Yeah BoxinMoxin, I agree with this guy. You have to stop blaming your parents for your current state of of mind. I can tell from your posts that your parents had a big influence in the way you see socializing with other people but that is not healthy. If you don't take care of your problems, nobody is going to do it for you.

Have you tried living on campus? That is a great way to meet people. If you can't for X or Y reason, just joing clubs or intramural sports. Start talking to people. Don't be shy, be confident (especially when it comes to girls). Changing schools is not going to eliminate the problem. From what I read in your posts, the problem lies within you.

 

[Drogo]

I don't get why it's so hard for some people to have a social life? Meeting a lot of cool interesting people in classes, the library, at parties and during volunteer events is a breeze for me.

You're putting too much thought into things, you should be working hard in your courses and having fun with your classmates outside of class. Fun doesn't necessarily mean getting plastered on the weekends, but hanging out at a burger joint having some good laughs or going to a party once in a while and just enjoying the atmosphere with some pretty girls and dancing.

I've met so many new people that are slowly becoming real close friends to me and solely because I opened up to them and in return they did also. No matter what junior college or university you go to in the states, the quality of your social life is what YOU make it out to be.

 

[ShockDoctrine]

why do you keep posting threads about this?

 

[AutumnChild]

I haven't seen these "other threads" ppl have been mentioning so I'll just give you my 2 cents.

Your parents, I assume, just wanted the best for you and unfortunately the way they went about it was a little extreme. However, you're 19, you're still super young. Education first. If you'd rather transfer to your state university for both an perceived better education and more exciting undergrad experience (not just for partying, but for things like being part of student organizations etc...) then try to transfer. If it takes you a year or so extra to graduate, it's no big deal.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT go buck wild child and throw your future down the drain. First, who's paying for your education? Your parents right? Don't think they'd be too happy if you barely pass, get on probation or, get kicked out. Everything in life needs to be in moderation. It sucks that your parents were so strict and unreasonable, but that's in the past. Accept it and move on. On the weeks you have less work to do, prioritize your time and go out, have a couple beers with buddies. Maybe rock an apt party, go to a club, get a lil tipsy, flirt with some cute girls (but don't be a douche). Just don't do this every night because you want to make up for some partying time you feel like you've lost. Trust me, you'll highly regret it.

Undergrad and the real working world are two different stages in ones life. Lots of people still go out and socialize when they're done with school and have a real job. You can go out on weekends to wherever you want, but you've still gotta be responsible. Don't take it to the extreme and you'll be fine.

 

[BoxinMoxin]

Yeah BoxinMoxin, I agree with this guy. You have to stop blaming your parents for your current state of of mind. I can tell from your posts that your parents had a big influence in the way you see socializing with other people but that is not healthy. If you don't take care of your problems, nobody is going to do it for you.

Have you tried living on campus? That is a great way to meet people. If you can't for X or Y reason, just joing clubs or intramural sports. Start talking to people. Don't be shy, be confident (especially when it comes to girls). Changing schools is not going to eliminate the problem. From what I read in your posts, the problem lies within you.

bro, i can't live on campus, dorms are only for out of state residents or athletes

 

[NeuralNetwork]

Join a social club or fraternity (not one that is affiliated with excessive poor behavior). Try a volunteering fraternity, or something science based. The people in those clubs tend to be oriented towards their future but the club itself is designed so that you have a group of people you can relax with and things you guys can go out and do.

 

[Morsetlis]

why do you keep posting threads about this?

He's a troll.

 

[Total180]

You talk about wanting "the real college experience" and I am wondering if what you have in your head of this "experience" actually comes from movies instead of real life. What is portrayed in movies/TV is very rarely an accurate depiction of what really goes on in a certain situation. It seems like you think that most college students are getting an experience that you are missing out on, but the real college experience is living on your own, making your own decisions....having the freedom to do what you want, but learning that doing the most "immature" thing you can think of usually is a bad idea in the long run. Most college students don't go out every single night to huge house parties. A lot of people really are focused on our education and valuing the (very expensive) opportunity to learn. Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't ever do things like party....but it seems like that is all you want because you see people on TV doing it all the time, when in reality most students do those things on the weekends after they have finished all their school responsibilities. If all you want to do is party and don't care about the educational aspect of college, please don't waste any more money on it....just drop out and get a job...then you can party all you want without having to spend thousands of dollars to do it.

 

[SeminoleVesicle]

Join clubs and organizations, that's how I met everyone I know at my university. This is not an uncommon situation. You need to actively pursue friendships, you can't just expect people to suddenly come up to you and want to be friends.

 

[Disinence2]

If you go down this road for the rest of your life you will have problems balancing social life with medicine. Its part of the job.

You will work the weekend shift while your friends go to Vegas. You will miss the dinner you RSVP'ed for cause a sick patient comes in last minute. You'll only be able to go to part of your friends wedding, or be unable to drink cause your on sick call.

You will enjoy your random Tuesday off with no one else to hang out with cause there all at work.

Even the first two years of med school you have your weekends off! Right now you likely have no idea the amount of free time you have. Once you physically are required to be somewhere for 80 hours a week, and are still expected to study/read spend time with family and hang out with your co-residents then you can complain about your lack of social life.

Some of the happier residents i know are the ones that can still go out for a beer with their friends after a long shift, knowing they have to be back at the hospital at 6am.

Best of luck

 

[NH14]

Go see a therapist

 

[blazer123]

............

 

[Morsetlis]

Jupiter's Cock, this thread again

I've seen it in marble. Not that impressive.

 

[JonnyL]

Can't you form a study group or something and make friends there?

 

[Hastur]

I've finished college twice, and I and Alexandertg6 both gave you a bunch of useful advice in your other threads, which you have ignored.

I recommend that you should in fact go to a counselor (don't go to a psychiatrist though unless you find one who specializes in counseling, go to a psychologist, they cost less and specialize in counseling!) because you seem to have a lot of trouble actually listening to or accepting advice when people give it to you over the internet, and I can only guess that having someone speak to you face-to-face will be easier.

However, in case you simply found my advice too long, I will re-summarize it in bold type for easy reference.

Take a year off to build friendships so you will have friends to go to when you are too busy to meet people. Or attend half-time for a year and focus on your social life. As long as you've held up a full course load for some length of time, attending half-time for a year shouldn't be a huge blot on your transcript, srsly.

Build these friendships by seeking out people who are interested in the same things you are interested in.

If these strategies aren't working for you, work on your social skills. Social skills aren't simply "people not hating you skills." They also involve things like working on and retaining friendships. There are beginner social skills and advanced social skills. You may have perfectly fine "people not hating you skills" and still be lacking in advanced social skills.

And yes, do go see a counselor. They can do things like teach you those advanced social skills. Srsly.

 

[Instatewaiter]

This thread is pathetic in so many ways.

 

[user003]

Growing up I had a perfect childhood, every day of my life is better than the last, when I assume things can't get any better, they do!

I'm surprised you have problems, I can't think of anybody else but you who does....

 

[BoxinMoxin]

I've finished college twice, and I and Alexandertg6 both gave you a bunch of useful advice in your other threads, which you have ignored.

I recommend that you should in fact go to a counselor (don't go to a psychiatrist though unless you find one who specializes in counseling, go to a psychologist, they cost less and specialize in counseling!) because you seem to have a lot of trouble actually listening to or accepting advice when people give it to you over the internet, and I can only guess that having someone speak to you face-to-face will be easier.

However, in case you simply found my advice too long, I will re-summarize it in bold type for easy reference.

Take a year off to build friendships so you will have friends to go to when you are too busy to meet people. Or attend half-time for a year and focus on your social life. As long as you've held up a full course load for some length of time, attending half-time for a year shouldn't be a huge blot on your transcript, srsly.

Build these friendships by seeking out people who are interested in the same things you are interested in.

If these strategies aren't working for you, work on your social skills. Social skills aren't simply "people not hating you skills." They also involve things like working on and retaining friendships. There are beginner social skills and advanced social skills. You may have perfectly fine "people not hating you skills" and still be lacking in advanced social skills.

And yes, do go see a counselor. They can do things like teach you those advanced social skills. Srsly.

I didn't ignore it but I cannot take a year off. Parents are way too messed up in the head to let me live alone and they will highly object to something like that, I mean highly object to it. and I have no way of taking care of myself because they wouldn't let me get a job or anything like that

i hate arguing on the internet but it is about time I show you guys an article that shows how low people can be sometimes, i received a message from a user on here telling me to go kill myself, now of course you guys had normal social lives, you went to big high schools, you had parents who didn't distract you while studying (having their own TV up too loud), you guys were probably born in America and had stability in life, you guys probably had it all (or at least more than me) so it is easy for you to look at me as some loser without even seeing into my situation

this article about sums it all up

http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/06/07/the-just-world-fallacy/

 

[MShopes]

Come on guys, stop with the immature posts like saying he is a troll or whatever other bull**** you are posting. I highly doubt he is a troll because what's the point? I have seen some people in his exact situation. And I can tell you right now that this situation is not rare. This guy is afraid of losing his social life and the right way to interact and he don't want to get busy in medical school and after before he enjoys and feel the real social life.

OP, you have a year or two to apply I assume? If so, then why not balance your social life with your academic performance? It is very possible to lead a good social life and still don't mess up in school. BTW, good social life does not mean go drinking until 6 in the morning or clubbing or all that. You can still have a good social life without all that. I mean, I never drink or smoked in my life and never went to a club, and I have tons of friends who does. Well, the reason I never did is simply because it's against my religion and I'm kinda religious when it comes to that stuff😀 however, I have a girlfriend still. Just relax, don't stress too much about school and do what you can to make your school a priority while also having a good social life.

And for those who are saying that he should stop blaming his parents. Heck, I agree that his parents are wrong....sure they care about him but they went too extreme to the point that they made him lose the ability to make the right decisions and be responsible and have a normal life like every other guy.

OP, in short, your problem can't be solved by just opinions from SDN users or from one time post of any of us. You need to sit with a Psychiatrist and tell him/her the whole story. There is no shame in going to a psychiatrist...many people go there to at least release their stress because these people know how to relieve the pain. And it would be better not to tell your parents about you going there so that you don't get all the hype from that. You are at least 18 now so you are old enough and can determine what's right and wrong for you. So go for it dude.....

 

[NickNaylor]

People don't show up at your apartment/dorm room and want to be your friends. People generally don't take the spontaneous initiative to talk to you in class. Put forth an effort and you'll see results. I agree with others saying that you're shifting the blame on everyone but yourself, and your obsession with shifting responsibility/trying to make friendships is strange. At some point this becomes your fault, not your parents. Your parents aren't controlling your behavior in college, you are. Friendships and relationships happen organically. Yes, you need to put forth SOME effort, but coming across as desperate is going to scare people off.

I assure you that if you get into med school you'll have plenty of time to party. Nearly every day the week, with the exception of the few days before an exam, there's a group of people in my class going out and doing something. There are post-exam parties where people get wasted.

Getting drunk, going to clubs, etc. is fun for about three weeks. Then it's just stupid. You really aren't missing out on much, but I understand the appeal and allure to do it. Go for it, but don't say I didn't warn you. Honestly most nights I'd much rather stay home and watch TV, go to the gym, or play Halo than party it up.

 

[ppappui]

I show you guys an article that shows how low people can be sometimes
now of course you guys had normal social lives, you went to big high schools, you had parents who didn't distract you while studying (having their own TV up too loud)

I knew it! This is the equation in life:

Not having parents who turn up TV too high and going to big high schools = privileged + socially adept
Having parents who turn up TV too high and going to small high schools = life that hits rock bottom

 

[link2swim06]

Assuming you are 18 years or older, with all due respect, your parents have ZERO control if you live on your own and/or get a job.

You got one life, dont live your parents life. They may be mad initially, but they will come around.

 

[TriagePreMed]

I didn't ignore it but I cannot take a year off. Parents are way too messed up in the head to let me live alone and they will highly object to something like that, I mean highly object to it. and I have no way of taking care of myself because they wouldn't let me get a job or anything like that

i hate arguing on the internet but it is about time I show you guys an article that shows how low people can be sometimes, i received a message from a user on here telling me to go kill myself, now of course you guys had normal social lives, you went to big high schools, you had parents who didn't distract you while studying (having their own TV up too loud), you guys were probably born in America and had stability in life, you guys probably had it all (or at least more than me) so it is easy for you to look at me as some loser without even seeing into my situation

this article about sums it all up

http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/06/07/the-just-world-fallacy/

I had a pretty rough life with an abnormal social life. The best advice I can give you is to get out of these forums. You'll get nothing from them. Plus, these forums are not meant for this.

 

[duress]

I'm in med school now and I've partied/clubbed more here than I have in years. I also did well on my first exam, so socializing didn't get in the way. And there's tons of events my classmates do that I don't have the energy for, so I don't know why you think college is the last chance you have.

I know how it feels in college to think everyone else is having the time of their life but you don't have to throw away your future(??????) to get some transient pleasures from college parties when you have the rest of your life ahead of you to regret those choices.

 

[amd123]

BoxinMoxin, you are a little turd aren't you?
"Woe is me, my parents hate me and I hate my life too and I have no friends."

That's the impression I get from your post.

I have had to deal all of the issues you have written about and more. You're an ungrateful little stain.
It honestly worries me that we have people like you are trying to become doctors. I pray to a nonexistent higher power that you will fail early in your attempts so that I may rise over you.

P.S. That german shepherd in your avatar is a very cute dog, I had two gsds and also kept a husky. Great dogs, you don't deserve them if you have one and if you don't have one then please don't get one...you probably wouldn't be able to comprehend that you would have to sacrifice some time in order to keep a dog such as a GSD.

 

[amd123]

Also, Boxin Moxin don't ever threaten me because you made a thread of this nature and I told you something you didn't like.

 

[BoxinMoxin]

first of all, some prick is sending me long hatemail and I want to know if there is an active mod I can message, nvm, he just posted on this thread, do they have mods here or something?

anyways thing is, I need some perspective here, according to what I have heard in real life from people

16-22 = party it up to the max, lots of one night stands, last chance of enjoying a social life
22-26 = busy with graduate level work, little to no time to party or live life
after that = start working, if you ever date a woman, it is only about marriage, most of the quality ladies are gone and already taken, no chance to ever explore and date a lot of different and make friends with a variety of people or do things like go on trips with the people you like because you are just too busy

its like nearly everyone tells me 18-22 or 18-20 is the time of your life, after that life pretty much goes downhill for most people

 

[link2swim06]

first of all, some prick is sending me long hatemail and I want to know if there is an active mod I can message, nvm, he just posted on this thread, do they have mods here or something?

anyways thing is, I need some perspective here, according to what I have heard in real life from people

16-22 = party it up to the max, lots of one night stands, last chance of enjoying a social life
22-26 = busy with graduate level work, little to no time to party or live life
after that = start working, if you ever date a woman, it is only about marriage, most of the quality ladies are gone and already taken, no chance to ever explore and date a lot of different and make friends with a variety of people or do things like go on trips with the people you like because you are just too busy

its like nearly everyone tells me 18-22 or 18-20 is the time of your life, after that life pretty much goes downhill for most people

If this isnt a troll, you just need to relax the hell out. I have never seen someone so tense about social activity. Just relax, stop trying to plan your social encounters.

Unlike school being social is not about the end result, your suppose to enjoy the journey.

Step 1: Find people with common interest

Step 2: Hang out with them

Step 3: Expand to hanging out with the opposite sex

Step 4: Report back in four years, congrats, you have lived a typical college life

Apart from what American Pie portrays, the majority of people don't drink to blacking out for 4 years straight and hook up with different gorgeous women every night.

PS I am 23 and a M2, I still party at least 1-2 times a week. Apart from your plan I made plenty of time for a social life.

 

[TriagePreMed]

first of all, some prick is sending me long hatemail and I want to know if there is an active mod I can message, nvm, he just posted on this thread, do they have mods here or something?

anyways thing is, I need some perspective here, according to what I have heard in real life from people

16-22 = party it up to the max, lots of one night stands, last chance of enjoying a social life
22-26 = busy with graduate level work, little to no time to party or live life
after that = start working, if you ever date a woman, it is only about marriage, most of the quality ladies are gone and already taken, no chance to ever explore and date a lot of different and make friends with a variety of people or do things like go on trips with the people you like because you are just too busy

its like nearly everyone tells me 18-22 or 18-20 is the time of your life, after that life pretty much goes downhill for most people

You don't have to live your life the way society or your imaginary expectations want you to. Having been down a similar road as yours, I can tell you have a lot of growing up to do, and that's okay because that's what life is meant for. It wasn't until I realized my life was mine to live the way I wanted to and didn't need to be apologetic to anyone that I began living.

Like the last person posting said, chill out. Just go with the flow. You don't need to go to med school at 22. Look at the non-trad forum. A lot of people having had happy lives going to med school at 30. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[amd123]

first of all, some prick is sending me long hatemail and I want to know if there is an active mod I can message, nvm, he just posted on this thread, do they have mods here or something?

anyways thing is, I need some perspective here, according to what I have heard in real life from people

16-22 = party it up to the max, lots of one night stands, last chance of enjoying a social life
22-26 = busy with graduate level work, little to no time to party or live life
after that = start working, if you ever date a woman, it is only about marriage, most of the quality ladies are gone and already taken, no chance to ever explore and date a lot of different and make friends with a variety of people or do things like go on trips with the people you like because you are just too busy

its like nearly everyone tells me 18-22 or 18-20 is the time of your life, after that life pretty much goes downhill for most people

You're the prick and besides there is something fundamentally wrong with you if that's how you "calculate" the possibilities of being social.

 

[UnclePhil]

first of all, some prick is sending me long hatemail and I want to know if there is an active mod I can message, nvm, he just posted on this thread, do they have mods here or something?

anyways thing is, I need some perspective here, according to what I have heard in real life from people

16-22 = party it up to the max, lots of one night stands, last chance of enjoying a social life

Uh... who are these "real life" people?

The folks I know who "party it up" all the time when they are 16-22 generally don't do very well in life. And the ones that do? Well... they might be smarter than you and can do those sorts of things without screwing themselves up, so don't try to keep up with them if you care about not sucking in life down the road. There is some reality for you. Life is not fair. Deal with it.

22-26 = busy with graduate level work, little to no time to party or live life
after that = start working, if you ever date a woman, it is only about marriage, most of the quality ladies are gone and already taken, no chance to ever explore and date a lot of different and make friends with a variety of people or do things like go on trips with the people you like because you are just too busy

Uh... yeah, great you have to make some sacrifices. I know I make some sacrifices, big deal, I get to do what I want to do. And most people in med school have social lives. Believe it or not, you DO make friends granted you aren't a complete weirdo that is horrendously out of touch with reality. And yes, med students do go out, yes med students do hook up with girls if they so wish, and no, most of the "quality ladies" are not already "gone and taken". You can meet people outside of medical school, you can date people outside of medical school. Believe it or not, people are still people... even when they are med students.

its like nearly everyone tells me 18-22 or 18-20 is the time of your life, after that life pretty much goes downhill for most people

No offense to them, if 18-22 is the best time of their life, then that means their life sucks and you shouldn't be taking life advice from them. I enjoy my life in medical school, much more than college. No, I don't get to go out and get ****housed every weekend like I did in college, but if going out and getting embarrassingly drunk every weekend is your idea of having a social life then you really are socially inept.

 

[KaplanKrackers]

OP, get off this forum. SDN posters in the pre-med forum are ***holes who will do anything they can to crush all your hopes and make you feel miserable.