New Baby and Scheduling Problems

[ScubaEMT]

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So, our daughter is scheduled to pop out on December 27... My wife will be on maternity leave through at least mid February, so the classes I have lined up for the winter semester will be no problem...

The crappy thing is that my spring semester is going to make it impossible for me to either have just morning or just afternoon classes. My wife's job is somewhat flexible as far as her schedule goes in that she can either work in the morning or the afternoon.

We can probably only afford childcare about one day a week on our salaries (we are just rich enough not to be able to qualify for programs, and just poor enough to not be able to afford childcare).

I know that I am just going to have to cut at least one class per semester, which is really going to make my path to med school take a lot longer, but as a last-ditch effort, I wanted to see if anybody here had any suggestions or ideas for me.

Thanks!

 

[huckaaa]

I've been in this boat with my own 9 month old. First, you could start by talking to the professors and department heads to see if the class could be changed or additional classes could be offered at a better time. Second, look at local community colleges that might have some classes offered at a better time. Do you have any family nearby? If not, and you really don't want to put this off any longer than you have to, take out a little money in loans to help cover the cost of childcare. If you are determined in being a doctor it won't be too much of a problem. good luck!

 

[sunny1]

How far along in your coursework are you (i.e., how many more prereqs do you have to complete or are you also completing other undergrad requirements)? Is this just one more semester to go or.....

Does a local community college perhaps have a better schedule that meshes with your needs - if you only have a few more classes to complete?

Do you have any friends who also have young kids that might be willing to "share" a caregiver? I'm thinking, an in-home babysitter for more than one kid. OR better yet if you have any friends who are staying at home with their kid and you could pay them to watch yours too. Also, an unlikely chance, but do you have any relatives (sibling or parent) that might be willing to help out for a short bit and come stay with you for a month or so?

Cut back on courseload and get an extra part-time job to save money for babycare in the summer or fall when you can take more classes?

 

[NERDY]

Some schools have childcare on campus. It may be something to check out.

 

[huckaaa]

oh, and congratulations!

 

[Rotinaj]

Have the doctors put him back in until you're done with residency.

 

[ruraldr]

does your school videotape any of its courses? If not perhaps you should see if any in the area do? Mine tapes the biochemistry classes and watching online is as good as being at the lecture in person (if not better since you can pause and re-listen). Technically, I only need to be in class for the exams...

 

[ScubaEMT]

Thank you everybody for your suggestions.

I am actually taking all of my classes at a community college (they have a GREAT biology program and a good transfer agreement with UCLA for exceptional students)...

They do have some online courses available, but I am a little weary of online chemistry and molecular biology courses for some reason... I guess I could just give them a try for one semester, though.

I dont like the idea of taking out too many loans during my undergrad, because I know that Im not going to really be able to work much in med school and Im going to need a lot of loans for cost of living. However, if I have to, I guess that I could take one out.

Oh.. and I already made inquiries into having our OB sew my wife's cervix closed until after medical school, but all that got me was about a weeks worth of sleeping on the couch

Thanks again for the suggestions. I really do appreciate it.

 

[montessori2md]

Don't know what your grades are like, but you might be better off cutting yourself (and the wife) some slack by taking it easy on the classes while working on getting the new person in your house to sleep through the night : ) Nothing kills a GPA like sleep deprivation.

On the other hand, if you're used to sleep deprivation (the EMT in your name suggests that's a possibility), little babies are WAY easier to study with than older babies who decide to climb the furniture and get bored and yell at you. So there's that.

You need to start making friends with people who like babies and will help you out. If you're not moving in the next year, it's time to start networking and find people (relatives, friends, neighbors, coworkers) who like kids, or have kids, and will help you out in a pinch, irrespective of your current needs. You will be a happier person, and your wife will be a happier person, if you share your baby with others.

Don't think of paying a sitter now as an expense. Think of it as an investment -it's a start towards the inevitable -you will eventually have to pay for preschool or childcare, and you should start practicing, so that when you really need it, you know what you want and how to find it. You might have to blow through a few sitters/schools/nannies before you find a good fit, and you don't want to do that your first few months in med school.

Don't forget you can write off the sitter's pay on your taxes, that helps a little.

Congrats!

 

[erikalindsay]

Taking out loans for childcare is one of the best things I have done. Without that money, there was no way I'd have been able to stay in school or do as well as I've done. I really needed full-time care in order to take the classes I took as an undergrad and study. Whoever said it was an investment was right.

Also, some schools have grants for child care with certain income limitations (they may be higher than the limitations for subsidized care through your state or county). My school has what's called the Student Parent HELP Center and they have funds for that purpose for undergraduates (I personally did not ever qualify for them and do not now as a grad student, but I know that they are all used up each year).

 

[emttim]

Firstly, congratulations on being a father! Also judging by your handle, it's cool to not be the only scuba diving EMT around here, right on. 🙂 have you finished all of your GE? I don't blame you for being wary of online science classes, I don't see how it's possible to do them online anyway if they have a lab component, but if you don't have all of your GE done then couldn't you just do a semester of online GE classes? I've found that most of them are so painfully boring that it's best to take them online anyway since you don't have to deal with it as much generally since there's no lecture per se.

 

[crazydiamond]

I've got more sympathy than I do suggestions, sorry. I'm due with my second child mid-march, which means I am unable to take any classes at all this spring. But I've got the rest of my life to be a doc. . but only one chance at seeing my child grow and doing the things that are important to me (ie, breastfeeding).

My main suggestion would be to just take it easy. Yes, it'll push you back, but so what? I learned the hard way after my daughter was born in 2005 that you just can't keep the same pace as before. Maybe it's different for me because I was the one giving birth, but I really struggled to maintain everything as before. . .and I ended up with severe postpartum depression that required hospitalization. It just can't be done. My husband suffered as well, not only because of my depression, but because I was recovering (unexpected C-section), baby had terrible colic and was up all night, and we were both exhausted. Thankfully my husband also only has a 40hr/week job and was able to take several weeks off to be with me. And after I went back to work at 3 mos, he still did most of the housework and cooking because I was usually either breastfeeding or napping. It was a very tough adjustment for both of us and it wasn't until my daughter turned one did things finally settle back into place. Life did resume to it's previous pace, but it really took a long time to find that new groove. And that's not counting any financial difficulties because of childcare and the extra time it takes to dropoff/pickup the child.

So I guess in a nutshell, I'd say it's best to take a lighter load at first. You want to be home as much as possible and you want to find your groove. It's a huge adjustment, but a fun one at that. Just don't bog yourself down trying to do everything you did before because I guarantee something is going to slip.

 

[mommy2three]

congrats on your impending arrival to your family!!

i have to say that if there is a child care center on campus where you go that they charge by the hour (great for classes) and are often less expensive than a center.
if you do not have one, i would look to see if there is a service in your area which keeps a list of licensed in home providers (here it is called community consolidated child care) and call around. an at-home provider will be more flexible with you and your schedule and allow you to use a half day which is often difficult with a center.

perhaps with a combination of your wife's ability to work from home part of the day and some home provider or child care center on campus you can sort this all out.

best wishes