No Support System => No Go?

[pls accept me]

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Almost everybody I know lives in one region of the country. Several of my acceptances are out of state. Initially, I thought it would be OK to live somewhere new. But some people are saying that a support system is important. So I'm thinking about going to a local school that offers considerably less in opportunities. I'm living with my parents, so moving might induce homesickness and make the transition unfun.

Thoughts?

 

[lilnoelle]

Ok, I have to ask, are you about to enter college or med school? If its med school, I would move somewhere else if its a school with better opportunities. The only scenerio I would choose to stay around family is if you have children and need the help (as I do). You'll make friends and support from other people than your parents. We all have to separate from our family sometime.
Now if its college, I think it would be fine to stay in your local town and live with your parents, save up some money for when its time to go out on your own. If your like me and have children (which I'm guessing is not the case) I would stay around your family to get the help and support.

 

[SanDiegoSOD]

You're going to have to leave the nest sometime... if not now, then when? Moving from med school to residency won't be easy either, and odds are that you wont be able to live with your parents then. Look at this as an opportunity to grow up and build some character. Good luck! 👍

 

[BozoSparky]

Almost everybody I know lives in one region of the country. Several of my acceptances are out of state. Initially, I thought it would be OK to live somewhere new. But some people are saying that a support system is important. So I'm thinking about going to a local school that offers considerably less in opportunities. I'm living with my parents, so moving might induce homesickness and make the transition unfun.

Thoughts?

My first year living across the country was difficult. I love it now. Flying home for the holidays is annoying, but manageable.

You'll probably be homesick if you move far away. If you are going to college, stay closer to home if you think you aren't ready. If you are going to med school, it might be harder to stay away from a good deal.

Were you sick to your stomach when you visited these out of state schools?

Sparky

 

[pnasty]

i think staying close to family can have huge advantages. as long as its a place that's not too small, i would do it. Obviously no matter where you go you are going to make friends, its not like we are in 4th grade anymore. However, if you want to get away or talk to people who can help you make decisions etc, family is obviously the best for those things. If the schools you are considering are in a large enough area that you can live thirty minutes or farther away, I think it can be very advantageous. After all school and home always seem like worlds apart, regardless of how much actual distance is between.

 

[Callogician]

I moved out to the east coast for medical school where I knew absolutely no one. I went through a 3 month adjustment period where my quality of life was reduced due to lack of social connections. Since then, my life has improved significantly in multiple aspects. I don't know if I am the norm or the exception, so you have to think about what is important to you in making your decision.

Two divergent thoughts:

1) I am an introvert, so it is far more difficult for me to make new friends.
2) I am an introvert, so I am far less dependent on superficial social interaction.

 

[eastsidaz]

I went away for college and feel it was a good decision, but I was also raised to believe that leaving the nest at 18 was what you're supposed to do. It's probably not a huge deal to delay that by a year or two.

On the other hand, if you're going to med school, location shouldn't be a huge consideration. Having family around is nice, but it's best to try and not let yourself be restricted by where your family is. By the way, pnasty is dead on with the bit about school and home being different worlds--unless you actually live at home, in your parents house. I don't recommend that at all.

 

[Centinel]

A support network is helpful at any stage of your life. But does proximity define your support network? Definitely not. I live on the west coast but go to school in the east; the transition was tough, but it helped to know that my family back home supported me. And regardless, the opportunity was too great to pass up.

Just keep in mind that you'll have a support network always, even if it's not right there with you.

 

[pls accept me]

A support network is helpful at any stage of your life. But does proximity define your support network? Definitely not. I live on the west coast but go to school in the east; the transition was tough, but it helped to know that my family back home supported me. And regardless, the opportunity was too great to pass up.

Just keep in mind that you'll have a support network always, even if it's not right there with you.

Proximity does remain a factor. There will still be a painful transition stage away from the local community. I know some people at the local school, and I'll probably just commute there from home. If there is enough time, I will probably hang up at clubs at my undergraduate institution [only 1hr commute compared to 3 hr commute total for local med]. It's more fun to eat out here because I have eating buddies here.

pnasty, the school that is kinda 30 minutes away one way put me on their alternate list 🙁 .

BozoSparky, Yes! I was feeling uncomfortable when traveling to the out of state schools I've been accepted to. It's very weird to be in a place where you can't easily find restaurants selling mandu or pupusas. Homesickness came very soon too.

SanDiegoSOD, we live in a major metropolitan area so living at home during residency should be easier than getting into a local med school. 👍 The idea of having to move out someday does make sense.

 

[red dot]

Almost everybody I know lives in one region of the country. Several of my acceptances are out of state. Initially, I thought it would be OK to live somewhere new. But some people are saying that a support system is important. So I'm thinking about going to a local school that offers considerably less in opportunities. I'm living with my parents, so moving might induce homesickness and make the transition unfun.

Thoughts?

the very fact that you're even asking this question (title of thread) and worrying about the opinions of "almost everyone [you] know" might mean that you do need said support system. i say, do what you need to do. think about what you want for yourself instead of what other people think would be better for you. ask -- how far do you want to push yourself? how much personal growth do you want to achieve? how much "unfun" vs new-fun can you gain by moving? and moving to a place of "considerably more" opportunities? is "unfun" really that bad and can you turn it into something else for yourself? and also, i don't know your age/gender but imo anyone mid-twenties and living with parents for no other reason than anxieties about leaving the nest is kind of creepy, to put it lightly. just my 2 cents.

 

[SanDiegoSOD]

SanDiegoSOD, we live in a major metropolitan area so living at home during residency should be easier than getting into a local med school. 👍

I stand corrected. 😀

 

[funshine]

Almost everybody I know lives in one region of the country. Several of my acceptances are out of state. Initially, I thought it would be OK to live somewhere new. But some people are saying that a support system is important. So I'm thinking about going to a local school that offers considerably less in opportunities. I'm living with my parents, so moving might induce homesickness and make the transition unfun.

Thoughts?

If you're more comfortable staying at home and hanging out with your old friends, then do it. I agree that it can be annoying to move to a new place and make friends all over again....in fact, several of my friends who are MS-1s complained about it early on. It's fun meeting new people in college, but by med school, sometimes you're just tired and want to keep your existing support network close by. I don't agree with whoever said the support network is "right there with you" no matter where you go. In an ideal world maybe, but friends come and go and you want to keep your support network physically close by b/c phone calls and emails just won't do it.

On a related note, I was just talking to a friend who's an MS3 and he really regrets not going to med school with his friends. Something to think about...

 

[werd]

let your classmates be your support system? you're all in the same boat.

 

[Pancho Villa]

since when is it hard to become friends with people you see everyday?

 

[funshine]

since when is it hard to become friends with people you see everyday?

if you've never had this problem, then you're one lucky kid. Seriously though, some people require more than just classtime to make friends. I know a lot of MS1s who had trouble with this so it's not just a concern you should dismiss.

 

[pls accept me]

the very fact that you're even asking this question (title of thread) and worrying about the opinions of "almost everyone [you] know" might mean that you do need said support system. i say, do what you need to do. think about what you want for yourself instead of what other people think would be better for you. ask -- how far do you want to push yourself? how much personal growth do you want to achieve? how much "unfun" vs new-fun can you gain by moving? and moving to a place of "considerably more" opportunities? is "unfun" really that bad and can you turn it into something else for yourself? and also, i don't know your age/gender but imo anyone mid-twenties and living with parents for no other reason than anxieties about leaving the nest is kind of creepy, to put it lightly. just my 2 cents.

There must be a misunderstanding. Not "everyone I know" is telling me that I need a "support system". People on SDN are saying it, and it's common sense anyway. My support system is all in the local area.

By the way, I have financial and emotional reasons for living with my parents.