Burned-out family medicine PGY-3 here. It is a long and complicated story, but I have come to a point where I cannot stand to be in the same room as several of the attendings in my program. I do not plan to attend the residency commencement in June. Generally speaking, would a program be able to deny proof of completion if I refuse to go?
I didn't go to my residency graduation ceremony, and haven't looked back and absolutely don't regret it.
Its complicated, but like you I reached a point where I felt like one more minute with some of the people I worked with/for was more than I wanted to tolerate. I got tired of being disrespected or treated like an inconvenience, and was done with the negative culture surrounding me. Certainly I'm tough enough to muscle through a few more hours of BS if I had to but here's the thing.....I didn't have to......so I decided to spend that evening celebrating with my spouse instead, in our new fellowship city. To me, going to graduation felt like escaping from prison and stopping to celebrate with the most sadistic guards in the place on the way out.
Some people would say that its petty or childish or whatever, others have commented above on how its for your family and friends and etc and those are all good points and worth considering. I did a long residency (general surgery + research) and by the end I felt like I had given these people enough of my life and certainly wasn't about to give
one more minute than absolutely necessary......I think if your family and friends were paying attention at all for the past few years they'll probably get it. Have a party with them and celebrate the accomplishment if you need to....or if they need to.
I don't think they can deny that you completed residency because you didn't go to the after party....if anything that would be an ACGME thing, if you met all the requirements they can't just say you didn't. It's worth mentioning though, and I think the real discussion point here, is the risk you run is more political/word of mouth/job recommendation type of thing so make sure you're not committing some type of career suicide. Do you have a petty chairman who is president of every organization with tentacles like pablo escobar? Are you trying to get a job with 10 people who previously trained where you did and will see you as political liability? If these people could and/or would hurt you, you might have to suck it up and go.
If they can't then tell them to go **** themselves and do what you want.