We already got rid of the separate but equal thing in this country. Check out Plessy v. Ferguson and then Brown v. Board of Education. It's inherently unequal.
Besides, you've yet to articulate one singe, solitary benefit to using a different name. Does it save money? Prevent confusion? Is it a safety issue? Will all heterosexuals have to get divorced if homosexuals can marry? Will straight men be forced to marry a dude?
Honestly, you are coming off very badly here. It's as if you are a child who doesn't want to share his toys, and doesn't even want another child to have the same toy, even if it's a new one bought especially for that child. Your statement about people having to ask if you are married to a women or a man is telling, I think.