Objective feedback, please?

[lapoema]

---

Members do not see this ad.

Hi all, I'm new here.

I am a 27-year-old stay at home mother of a 10-month-old. I'm here because I am trying to decide whether to go back to pursue a medical degree.

My original plan was to be a psychiatrist. That was the dream from the start. I managed a few years of premed before finishing with a B.A. in communications and a minor in psychology. I was the typical distracted, overly emotional and prone to whims young college student, and I have always regretted changing my major.

Being a mother has always been my number one "calling", though. I would like to have at least one other biological child, and possibly foster or adopt after that. Which brings me to this:

As I get older, I feel stable and less distracted, and much more mature. I want to do something meaningful with my life, and have been waiting for that voice that tells me where I should be and how I should serve, if you will. I love being a mother and I don't do it halfway. At the same time, I still feel that pull toward psychiatry. I would love to be able to combine the two. I am emotionally drawn toward the topic of Reactive Attachment Disorder in adopted/ fostered children and would like to research and treat the disorder.

Might it be possible to give about 15-20 more years to raising my family and getting firsthand experience dealing with RAD, while researching and studying on my own time, and then trying to apply to med school with very little background in the field? I'd be in my forties at that point, and my children would likely be around 6-10 years of age.

I will add that financing med school is not an issue. The nearest medical school is an hour away, and I would have to commute.

 

[lainey234]

I can't answer how waiting 15-20 years will affect your career choices, but I can share my story. I went back to school with a 2 and a 4 year old. I went back full time and put them into a very good day care/preschool program for 3 days/week. I have always been a very hands on mom as well, having been home full time since my first was born. It was a huge adjustment for everyone but I can say confidently that everyone came out happy and better for it. My kids love their school, I love being in school again and everyone benefits from mom being happier.

My point is just this, if you want to do something different with your life you don't have to choose between career and kids - you can try and find a balance that works for you. If you know now that you want to go back to school and your heart is in it - then waiting 15-20 yrs seems like a long time to put it off.

Having kids is a wonderful part of life, but for me it is just a part - not the whole. I wish you luck.

 

[spicedmanna]

Well, the feedback that you are likely to get will be subjective, since your question is subjective. Nobody can really tell you objectively what the impact of your timing is going to be, or when the right time to apply is going to be.

That said, you needn't wait 15-20 years to pursue medicine, in my opinion, unless that is what you want to do. It probably won't be easy, but are there plenty of folks in medical school with young children. However, if you have a supportive spouse and you manage your time appropriately, you can probably make it work reasonably well. I don't think the situation is as either/or as many think that it is.

On the other hand, it is quite possible to apply during your forties and be successful in the application process, provided, in combination with your distinctive features and a strong, demonstrated, motivation to pursue medicine, that your application profile is competitive (good MCAT, solid UGPA and demonstrated academic ability, excellent LORs, good extracurricular activities, including volunteer/community service and clinical experience). The mistake that non-trads often make is to think that their maturity and life experience can compensate for an otherwise uncompetitive application. Maturity and life experience are of benefit, but you also need to ensure that you have a solid foundation in the aforemetioned application profile items.

Again, I think that this is a very personal decision. I see that you are interested in going into psychiatry, but how do you know that medicine is the right path for you? Have you shadowed psychiatrists and/or physicians before? Have you had exposure to patients in a clinical environment? Have you considered the alternative of becoming a clinical psychologist? I wish you the best of luck in figuring out what seems like the most optimal path for you.

 

[ShyRem]

As someone who went back to undergrad and then applied to med school in my late 30s (I just finished MSI year and turned 40 within one week of each other), I have to say you will face discrimination as you get older in terms of admission to medical school. It's not enough to be "just as good as the 20-somethings". You have to be better. Your GPA has to be higher, your MCAT higher, your extra-curriculars more intense and meaningful.

You're also not guaranteed a spot at the school nearest you just because you live close by. Many of the non-trads moved their entire families hundreds, even thousands, of miles away because that's where we were accepted.

I also have to say that med school is *hard*. It's hard enough when you're young and you have all the time in the world to study, but with two kids (mine are currently 11 and 9), a husband, a home... I have less time to study than the "regular" students. But I have more real-world experience (which absolutely can drive me nuts trying to talk to younger students about what the real world is like, but mainly is a HUGE plus).

So, now you've read the doom and gloom. Is it possible? YES. Would I do it again? So far. I'm one of a select few in my class that hasn't had to re-test because of a failing grade. I learn differently. I have a hard time remembering all those stupid little enzymes, but I can look at virology and remember "oh, yeah, my daughter had that..." and "I remember when my son's friend came down with that..". And I remember when giardiasis wasn't too uncommon, when chicken pox was a rite of passage, when EVERYONE had the small pox vaccination scar. It makes it easier to learn things I've actually lived through, seen, had exposure to, etc. My husband and children tell me almost daily how proud they are of me. And that means the world to me.

There are pros and cons to everything. I actually took a sheet of paper and made two lists: pros vs. cons. And my husband sat down with me and we filled it out. For us, the pros-med-school list was FAR longer than the cons-med-school list. I know people that the opposite was true. This is a very personal decision. Look at your options, talk to some medical schools, and think it over.

The only two things that are sure here are:
1. the older you get, the harder it is to get in.
2. If you don't try, you'll never make it.

Good luck on your thoughts and your future, whatever you decide it should be.

 

[ana]

As someone who went back to undergrad and then applied to med school in my late 30s (I just finished MSI year and turned 40 within one week of each other), I have to say you will face discrimination as you get older in terms of admission to medical school. It's not enough to be "just as good as the 20-somethings". You have to be better. Your GPA has to be higher, your MCAT higher, your extra-curriculars more intense and meaningful.

You're also not guaranteed a spot at the school nearest you just because you live close by. Many of the non-trads moved their entire families hundreds, even thousands, of miles away because that's where we were accepted.

I also have to say that med school is *hard*. It's hard enough when you're young and you have all the time in the world to study, but with two kids (mine are currently 11 and 9), a husband, a home... I have less time to study than the "regular" students. But I have more real-world experience (which absolutely can drive me nuts trying to talk to younger students about what the real world is like, but mainly is a HUGE plus).

So, now you've read the doom and gloom. Is it possible? YES. Would I do it again? So far. I'm one of a select few in my class that hasn't had to re-test because of a failing grade. I learn differently. I have a hard time remembering all those stupid little enzymes, but I can look at virology and remember "oh, yeah, my daughter had that..." and "I remember when my son's friend came down with that..". And I remember when giardiasis wasn't too uncommon, when chicken pox was a rite of passage, when EVERYONE had the small pox vaccination scar. It makes it easier to learn things I've actually lived through, seen, had exposure to, etc. My husband and children tell me almost daily how proud they are of me. And that means the world to me.

There are pros and cons to everything. I actually took a sheet of paper and made two lists: pros vs. cons. And my husband sat down with me and we filled it out. For us, the pros-med-school list was FAR longer than the cons-med-school list. I know people that the opposite was true. This is a very personal decision. Look at your options, talk to some medical schools, and think it over.

The only two things that are sure here are:
1. the older you get, the harder it is to get in.
2. If you don't try, you'll never make it.

Good luck on your thoughts and your future, whatever you decide it should be.

To the OP: the post above is the best advice you will get regarding this topic. If you really want to go into medicine, you should heed it. You WILL experience more discrimination as you age. It is also worse for women than men.

If you are determined to go the alternate route, know that someone has blazed a trail for you. Her name is Jean Foreman, she was a former instructor for family medicine at USC. She is now in pvt practice. Here is her web site: http://formanfamilymedicine.com/Dr.%20Jean Forman.nxg. Her story is very inspiring, and her web site only has about 1% of it.



Good luck.

 

[Faze2]

Well, the feedback that you are likely to get will be subjective, since your question is subjective. Nobody can really tell you objectively what the impact of your timing is going to be, or when the right time to apply is going to be.

yeah, spicedmanna beat me to it. There is nothing objective really about your question. In my honest opinion, if you feel that you can wait 15 years before applying to med school, than I feel your desire to become a doctor is not as strong as you say it is. Now please don't take that as an insult or a "cheap shot" at you, cause it is not. I just am speaking from personal experience and from what I have seen with other people on the same path. I am not saying you don't have the drive to be a physician, or more specifically a psychaitrist, but I feel as though I can speak for almost everyone on this site in saying that when you want to become a doctor, you want to start right now!!!!! Yeah, we know we have to wait years before that MD/DO for several unavoidable reasons, (i.e. pre reqs, app year, clinical experience, etc), but to be able mentally to put it off for 15 years seems like it would drive me nuts.

I commend your commitment to your family and your desire to be there for them. I don't have kids so I don't know what having a child is like. But as several people have mentioned, there are PLENTY of options for you to do both school and be a mom. Will it be hard? Yes. But if being a doctor is what you REALLY want, I think waiting 15 years will fill you with regret and a wonder of "what if?" If this is really what you want, find a way to start now, because a lot can happen in 15 years and again, you may regret the decision to wait. I think you can do it now👍

Again, please don't look at this post as an insult or me trying to disuade you or make you feel bad, cause it is not. I just think it is a question you have to ask yourself.

 

[Law2Doc]

Might it be possible to give about 15-20 more years to raising my family and getting firsthand experience dealing with RAD, while researching and studying on my own time, and then trying to apply to med school with very little background in the field? I'd be in my forties at that point, and my children would likely be around 6-10 years of age.

I will add that financing med school is not an issue. The nearest medical school is an hour away, and I would have to commute.

Possible? Sure. There are a few med students out there who are over 50. Only you can decide what is right for you. However there are some things to consider. First, things like health, finances, etc don't stay constant for 20 years, so you may not be in as much of a position to go to med school then as compared to now. Next, you don't really get to pick one med school and necessarilly get in. You have to apply, be accepted etc. So if there is one school an hour away and you don't get it, would that change your viewpoint? Next, in 15-20 years I suspect you would have to redo the prereqs both because med schools will require them, or at least more recent success in the sciences and it won't be adequately fresh in your mind for the MCAT. So we are probably talking about at least a year's postbac before you start. Finally, medicine in 20 years is unlikely to be the same as it is now. It currently isn't the same practice it was 20 years ago. So what you are dreaming about now may not exist then.

 

[notdeadyet]

Finally, medicine in 20 years is unlikely to be the same as it is now. It currently isn't the same practice it was 20 years ago. So what you are dreaming about now may not exist then.

And to extend that, the medical school application process may not be the same either.

I went the non-trad route at the age of 35 and was surprised at some of the schools that truly saw my age as an asset. Though there may be a bit of age discrimination going on now, I've been told that 15-20 years ago it was much worse.

There is nothing to say that the pendulum won't swing back the other way. Older applicants may be welcome now, but in 20 years that may very well not be the case.

 

[thegenius]

But I have more real-world experience (which absolutely can drive me nuts trying to talk to younger students about what the real world is like, but mainly is a HUGE plus).

Isn't that the case! I am a father of two young boys and I'm in my early 30s. The moment I bring up "finances" to anyone under 24 I get this blank stare. When I say to them that I'm up at 7:00 AM every day, regardless of what day it is, I get the most strange looks! I once met a study group on Saturday and they said "Bright and early at 10:00 AM! LOL!!!!!!!!!

 

[thegenius]

I would say that ShyRem gave some very good advice and some accurate details. Med school is hard, and it has been a strain on the relationship between my wife and I. The strain is the worst about 10 days before a test and not bad at all 2 weeks just after a test. So we get into this cycle 6-7 times a year.

I have found on a number of occasions that I have not seen my kids for over 24 hours at a time. I'm up and at school before they are up, and I'm home around 10:00 PM, after they have gone to bed. We've also had some other stresses in our life which has made med school more difficult, but overall it's not easy.