Official Accepted Pre-Allo Gunner Advice Thread

[tncekm]

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Hahaha... no, she gave true examples from our school. That question was asked during an M2 lecture.

Here's how it all proceeded: the question was posed during a neuro physical exam class
"Is it true that the recipient homosexual male loses his anal wink reflex?"

Strange = yes, funny = yes, but how is it gunner?

 

[Mobius1985]

Before you matriculate, pre-order your white coat and embroider it with your name and the words "Future Physician" in script font. Iron and starch your coat into crispy submission and wear it the week before your school's white coat ceremony.

And be sure to have that white coat tailored. Nothing impresses more than shoulders and sleeves that fit precisely.


(Reading every post on this Lazarus thread is well worthwhile!)

 

[Quick2Forget]

With acceptance season upon us yet again, the annual pilgrimage out of the Pre-Allo to the Allo forum brings with it a glut of threads in which burgeoning gunners seek our sage advice on how to stomp future classmates into submission. I thought we could help them out by compiling the wisdom of the ages into one official thread. I'll begin:

1). It's a little known fact that repressed sexual energy sharpens athletic and academic abilities due to increased hormonal output. If you want Harvard's derm residency lose the girlfriend, drop that lotion, and start memorizing Robbins immediately. Every top 10% medical student knows that foresaking the boo-tay is a small price to pay for AOA.

Yes, even way back in '05 some of these gunners were worried about their residency before even starting med school! 😀
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=199375

 

[SpitterOfTruth]

No, you got it all wrong! You're supposed to research all the material in the lecture, and then ask questions that the professor can't answer. For example, "I just read a JAMA article saying it was <this way>, is that right?" And then your professor will be so impressed that there will be a letter of rec with your name on it.

Ya, that is exactly what you want to do. Try and show up a person who has been studying this information their whole career by reading some random factoid off of the internet. I also hear, that correcting your attendees while in residencies is a good way to impress them. And while you're at it, you might as well shove your finger places and call yourself a proctalogist.

 

[DoctorFunk]

Yes, even way back in '05 some of these gunners were worried about their residency before even starting med school! 😀
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=199375

Oh noes!

Btw, should I feel honored that you wasted your first post by stalking me?

 

[nogolfinsnow]

Strange = yes, funny = yes, but how is it gunner?

Because for the rest of the day the other 149 people in your class will think about nothing other than the anal wink reflex, thus you've gained 3-5 hours of extra study time which should push you another 0.01-0.04 SDs above the mean.

 

[Depakote]

Because for the rest of the day the other 149 people in your class will think about nothing other than the anal wink reflex, thus you've gained 3-5 hours of extra study time which should push you another 0.01-0.04 SDs above the mean.

damn it, there goes my day.

 

[Blesbok]

If you haven't finished robbins by the time you start med school you are a p***y and will never amount to anything in med school. You minus whale just lay down and die.

 

[ChimpanzeeMinky]

If you haven't finished robbins by the time you start med school you are a p***y and will never amount to anything in med school. You minus whale just lay down and die.

hahhah... what's the origin of that play on words!

 

[45408]

Hahaha... no, she gave true examples from our school. That question was asked during an M2 lecture.

Here's how it all proceeded: the question was posed during a neuro physical exam class
"Is it true that the recipient homosexual male loses his anal wink reflex?"

Man, that sounds like something one of my classmates would say...

 

[45408]

hahhah... what's the origin of that play on words!

Idiots on the Internets. You should ask Blesbok about his study schedule: it's very in tents.

Some of my other favorites: a house with a white picket fents. Cacky shorts. Intensive purposes.

 

[roc]

make sure to wear your med student ID badge when going out to the bars.

go around asking your classmates what specialty they want to go into. great way to checkout the competition.

compare getting the highest grade in class to that p***y you found a week prior by wearing your badge at a bar

ruin the party mood by talking about obscure research work and residency interests.

pretend you dont give a crap or say that you dont study, but will be the one reminding prof to collect the assignment

eventhough they honored an exam, they are distraught for not getting high honors

love giving that look showing they are somehow better than you and easily scored a 36 on MCAT

will go straight to the library after the last lecture. dont worry, they already packed their dinner and late evening snacks.

somehow always has a printout before you. its because they check webct/blackboard every two seconds. god forbid the file is not posted and you had to review the recorded lecture

 

[ninjapenguin]

In college there was a girl in general chemistry lab who, when we were asked to write our names on our white lab coats, wrote "Dr. Whatever-her-name-was". Gen chem lab!

A girl in a few of my classes not only did this, but wore her coat around all the time to other lectures even when she didn't have lab that day. I thought she just tore her shirt or something one day and just threw it on, until she wore it the very next next day... in a first-year psychology lecture!

 

[medguy83]

A girl in a few of my classes not only did this, but wore her coat around all the time to other lectures even when she didn't have lab that day. I thought she just tore her shirt or something one day and just threw it on, until she wore it the very next next day... in a first-year psychology lecture!

I knew a handful of premeds back in undergrad who wore scrubs pretty much on a daily basis. Even in med school there are the typical MS1s who like to go to practically every class with a stethescope around their neck. Hey, to each his own.

My advice for an upcoming MS1 is to 1.) Don't be "that guy" listed above 2.) relish what little free time you have left and 3.) learn how to incorporate personal time not only for yourself but for friends and family.

 

[DoctorFunk]

My advice for an upcoming MS1 is to 1.) Don't be "that guy" listed above 2.) relish what little free time you have left and 3.) learn how to incorporate personal time not only for yourself but for friends and family.

Off-topic. This thread is for gunner advice only.

 

[RLMitchell1]

hahaha, I wish all of you went to my med school.

 

[Ashers]

Make sure you come in on one day of your "Golden Weekend" because you don't want to miss >2 days in a row.

Stay all day post-call even when the residents leave at 12, but make sure everyone who's working a normal day knows you're staying post-call.

AND make sure you let a student know that one of their notes is missing (which the intern lost), and "you may want to rewrite the note, but I can't tell you what to do."

 

[SnowTown]

hahhah... what's the origin of that play on words!

Orange Tangerine Forums

 

[Blesbok]

Orange Tangerine Forums

Actually, I learned it on the Ocelot Training Forums

 

[bodonid]

make sure to wear your med student ID badge when going out to the bars.

Hah! My first day on campus, campus police yelled at me twice for not having my ID badge on. Now I am just wearing it everywhere... maybe being a gunner just makes some things easier?

 

[45408]

Orange Tangerine Forums

Really? I thought it was from the Olympic Training forums.

 

[ropeadope1983]

My advice to all you future gunners is that if you can't honor every single exam in medical school WITHOUT staying up past midnight, WITHOUT being a cutthroat b#%**** to your classmates, WITHOUT pestering the professor (and entire class) with your questions during lecture, WHILE getting laid at least once a week (twice a week if you are married), WHILE excercising hardcore everyday, WHILE enjoying hobbies outside of medicine/science, then you AREN'T WORTHY OF YOUR TITLE AND ARE A DISGRACE TO GUNNERS EVERYWHERE!!!

 

[Random Anesthesiologist]

I love threads like these. Thank goodness there are still people in medicine with a sense of humor 😉

 

[Kirby175]

I love threads like these. Thank goodness there are still people in medicine with a sense of humor 😉

lol i agree totally

 

[treva]

Buy a very expensive electronic stethoscope that can record sounds. It doesn't matter that you don't actually need it - all the other medical students will cower in shame when you can replay that 4th heart sound you identified over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over......

 

[Ashers]

I love threads like these. Thank goodness there are still people in medicine with a sense of humor 😉

Mine are based on students I've rotated with. =(

 

[DickyV]

My advice to all you future gunners is that if you can't honor every single exam in medical school WITHOUT staying up past midnight, WITHOUT being a cutthroat b#%**** to your classmates, WITHOUT pestering the professor (and entire class) with your questions during lecture, WHILE getting laid at least once a week (twice a week if you are married), WHILE excercising hardcore everyday, WHILE enjoying hobbies outside of medicine/science, then you AREN'T WORTHY OF YOUR TITLE AND ARE A DISGRACE TO GUNNERS EVERYWHERE!!!

I'm afraid you got it all wrong. If you're taking more than 1 hour out of studying each day to sleep, eat, go the the bathroom, socialize, get laid, etc., you're not a true gunner. Weekend after an exam? Start studying for the next one!

 

[ropeadope1983]

I'm afraid you got it all wrong. If you're taking more than 1 hour out of studying each day to sleep, eat, go the the bathroom, socialize, get laid, etc., you're not a true gunner. Weekend after an exam? Start studying for the next one!

No, I'm affraid you got it all wrong. If you actually need to be that dedicated to your studies to dominate then you are simply inadequate to begin with. What I'm doing is calling out all you so-called "gunners" because I say, if you are as great as you say/want to be then prove it. Prove that you are hands down head of the pack using half as much effort as all the rest.

 

[MSHell]

No, I'm affraid you got it all wrong. If you actually need to be that dedicated to your studies to dominate then you are simply inadequate to begin with. What I'm doing is calling out all you so-called "gunners" because I say, if you are as great as you say/want to be then prove it. Prove that you are hands down head of the pack using half as much effort as all the rest.

I'm afraid you need a dictionary.

 

[Depakote]

It's never too early to start sabotaging your future classmates.

Your class probably has facebook pages with social gatherings/parties...

Anonymously inform student affairs that a highly un-professional event is going on following X orientation event and as future physicians it would be inappropriate to engage in such behavior. Give specific details (time, location, host). Then when the administration quashes the event... pretend to be just as upset while you're secretly drinking in the misery of those that would dare to try to take that Derm residency from you.

Nothing better than stressing your classmates out before school starts. Perfect way to set the tone.

 

[ropeadope1983]

I'm afraid you need a dictionary.

sigh...maybe you should check yourself into hooked on phonics rehab... medical students shouldn't be so dim witted...psst...here's a hint...I'm not trying to define what a gunner is...I gave my sincere advice to all future gunners...and you can read what that advice is in my previous posts (though I guess with you, I shouldn't take anything for granted).

 

[medgrlsox21]

You will buy colored pins pipe cleaners and your own full skeleton for anatomy carry it around with you like you're own pet ...probably even give it a name

 

[Depakote]

You will buy colored pins pipe cleaners and your own full skeleton for anatomy carry it around with you like you're own pet ...probably even give it a name

just a skeleton? I keep a cadaver in my trunk... for anatomical emergencies.

 

[Ashers]

just a skeleton? I keep a cadaver in my trunk... for anatomical emergencies.

I need to find the nerve branch that's most likely to be injured in an endoscopic carpal tunnel release! 😀

 

[bodonid]

You will buy colored pins pipe cleaners and your own full skeleton for anatomy carry it around with you like you're own pet ...probably even give it a name

aww, Jimmy doesn't make me a gunner, does he?

 

[jl lin]

Annoying students can be a pain for everyone; but please don't misread a person that just may be truly interested and passionate about what he/she is learning. There are sincere people that can be misread. . .and there are those that look to find fault in others no matter what--regardless if they are "gunners" or not.

Real gunners have an opportunistic motive--and they are in every line of work or preparation of work-study.

And narcissists and those w/ BPD may not be true gunners in the worst sense, though they very well may be, but they are enormous problem children or pains--no worse to themselves mind you--at least in the long run. Trust me, w/ recalcitrant narcissists and borderlines, sady you just can't win with them. . .it's ever and always ALL about them. And some of them are excellent at making those that are really the good guys look like bad guys to others. Actually, they can make great politicians. They can be as charming and compelling as sociopaths, and many don't see through them--at least not right away--so God help the poor "bad guy" that the BPD or narcissists dubs as such.


On a distantly related note to what someone else brought up--students that hack up the cadavers should be severely penalized. Seriously.

 

[brickandlace]

Or, if they really won't tell you, wait 'till their back is turned and flip through to the score sheet on your own.

Yes, there's a guy in my class who does this.

ugh. such a turn off. i know some pre-meds who potentially will be gunners. i love it when people volunteer their test grades off the bat thinking that it obligates you to divulge your own

 

[brickandlace]

steal cadaver parts, sell them to prostitutes and then plant evidence from fellow competitors.

what would prostitutes do with cadaver parts 😕 haha am i missing something.

 

[jl lin]

what would prostitutes do with cadaver parts 😕 haha am i missing something.

Yea, I didn't get that either. . .but I'm sort of glad I didn't. . . . and now I think I really don't want to know.

 

[boaz]

This thread leaves me speechless.

 

[URHere]

In order to be a true gunner, you must:

-Spend at least an hour everyday searching school computers for someone who hasn't logged out of their student account. Proceed to access their email and block all emails from professors, student services, etc. If no one gets that memo about the luncheon with the derm residents, then you're a shoe in!

-Find out ahead of time which papers your classmates are presenting in small group/rounds/etc. Proceed to read every reference and make a list of inconsistencies in the paper. Pick it apart. Hard. If the presenting student isn't crying, then you're not picking hard enough.

-On standardized exam days proceed to check out every available stethoscope from your university. Break and then return them. Watch as your classmates lose faith in themselves.

(None of these things have ever happened at my school, thank god. Just re-infusing some of the sarcasm into this thread)

 

[mmmcdowe]

I actually do have a skeleton. His name is Mugsy Jr, and I've had him since freshman year of college 😀.

He's almost totally useless for anatomy studying. I prefer Netter's flashcards.

 

[sunset823]

5). Medical students who tell you not to start studying prior to matriculating are simply trying to stab you in the back and depress national board scores. Accordingly, you should start studying now. Ideally you would have started studying as soon as you finished your organic chemistry class because you would be half an MD right now and could just coast through your med school classes with one-hundred percents. Remember, Bob, the pre-med from your physics class? He did that, and now he's going to Johns Hopkins. In fact, he's already got a spot for himself reserved at UCSF's emergency med residency.

I wanted to point out that I have a friend at UCSF's EM residency (and med) who's one of the nicest guys I've met - whip smart, but no gunner, haha - replace that with MGH plastic surgery, then qft

This thread is great 🙂

 

[DoItAnyway]

This thread is hilarious. 👍👍👍

I wasn't aware of this species called "gunners" until I come here to sdn. I'm really worrying about med school this coming fall because I don't always have the best study habits. But now I will also have to put up with these jerks who will feed on my low self-confidence too?