Official Relationships in Med School Thread

[kyauna80]

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Dear Future MDs.

Is it crazy to factor in a non-marriage relationship into the medical school decision. I thought I had my mind made up but find myself worrying because I don't want to leave my BF. We've been dating almost 2yrs with plans to marry. Well... can med school(long distance, stress etc.) sabotage a relationship? I am comtemplating staying in state primarily because of this. HELP!!!!

 

[BaylorLion]

It's definitely going to be a factor. Which schools? I wouldn't turn down a top-tier school for a far lower-ranked state school, but I'd be OK if the state school in question was a top-notch one.

In general, it's not a good idea to make a decision completely on a relationship. If the relationship ends, you don't want to be kicking yourself for the rest of your life. And if it's meant to be, it'll last. Just my .02

 

[MissM]

Why do you consider it a "non-marriage" relationship if you're planning to get married? If you're engaged, I think you should treat it as though you already were married...

It's also not unheard of for married couples to go to school in different states for a couple of years. Is he tied down to the state where you are?

 

[kyauna80]

My situation is that I've been dating my BF since summer 2002. We are pretty serious about trying to be together in the future. He has put no pressure on me and expects me to attend the school of my choice. HOWEVER, I am trying to decide if missing him will affect my mental/emotional health and performance during school. People say I won't have lots of time to spend with him.. but in so much as being able to get a hug when needed may help big time when the stress hits.

But then I do have to figure out if things don't work (which is unlikely if we are together but statistcially more likely if apart) will I have regrets or be unhappy at the school of my choice. Does it matter what school I attend?

 

[quideam]

kyauna80, look at the "long distance relationships" thread in allo...

 

[canada]

if it's as serious as u mention then i think you should. md is md, and you've got to make sacrifices for each other some time or another.

 

[Mistress S]

Who says marriage has to be the only thing that can make a relationship worth factoring in to your decision? My BF and I have been together for ~2 years and living together 1.5 years of that time. Of course he is a factor in my decision--not like I won't go to med school if he won't come with me, but in that I am taking his preferences into consideration in deciding where to apply, and he is an added reason to go to my state school if I get in there. He is willing to move with me, but there are places he'd rather not go, and I can understand that. We may get married in the future--if we're together in another few years, or if we decide to have children together, certainly--but it doesn't define our relationship. I guess I see the important thing as being the commitment you have to each other, and getting married is something that can only formalize that commitment, not create it. If you can seriously see spending the rest of your life with this person, then by all means, factor him in--don't give up your dream for it, but realize that people like that don't come along every day. Good luck with whatever you decide, I realize it must be a hard choice (and one I hope I don't have to make next year 😉 ).

 

[Xandie]

My fiance and I picked a school together. I'm heading to medical school in the fall and he's starting his bachelors in the fall. It was important for us to go somewhere that we would both be happy (especially given my future level of business), but also balancing the quality of school for me. We ultimately decided that the "best" school I got into, and the one I liked the most, was in a place we would both be happy. So lucky us!