The USMLE should consist of Goljan trivia pertaining to:
-Story of his friend who took a crap during a marathon
-Goljan passing gas in front of a woman
-Only people with a Y chromosome: 1)use toilet paper if they cut themselves shaving (women use kleenex) 2)eat food that fell on the floor
-His classmate in medschool who didn't use his stethoscope and became a psychiatrist
-Goljan trying to speak Italian, Spanish, etc
-Roughing up newborns
-Goljan telling his fellow professors that their tests were poorly written
-Stories of him playing with his grandchildren
-Goljan and anger management issues
-Goljan and Rheumatic fever