Overhauling my Personal Statement

[Uafl112]

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I am overhauling my personal statement and I have written the new intro paragraph. Its short and to the point regarding what sparked medicine, but my friend believes its too vague. He believes that it needs something that grabs onto people, like a crazy anecdote. I only made it vague in order to encompass ALL the reasons I wanted to talk about in a thesis. I plan on giving specifics and grab the attention but only later on in the essay. What is the best way to go about this?

 

[chizledfrmstone]

I hope it's more specific than what you just posted.

 

[cabinbuilder]

Vague is boring. Be bold. Be vibrant. You need to catch the reader's attention. The PS is not about what sparked medicine. It's about your hardships, your triumphs, your struggles. etc. You can mold in the medicine part but it should be a reflection of your traits and indirectly how you will be able to go the distance and not fail out of med school when life gets hard.

 

[Uafl112]

Vague is boring. Be bold. Be vibrant. You need to catch the reader's attention. The PS is not about what sparked medicine. It's about your hardships, your triumphs, your struggles. etc. You can mold in the medicine part but it should be a reflection of your traits and indirectly how you will be able to go the distance and not fail out of med school when life gets hard.

My plan was to focus on the "why medicine?" and "what skills do you have to make you a good doctor?" aspects. I am discussing my traits, but through my experiences through clinical and humanitarian work. I guess I could try to add a little flash, but I would much rather keep my statement as grounded as possible

 

[Uafl112]

I hope it's more specific than what you just posted.

Yea sorry about that lol. After posting, I realized how awful it sounded lol

 

[cabinbuilder]

My plan was to focus on the "why medicine?" and "what skills do you have to make you a good doctor?" aspects. I am discussing my traits, but through my experiences through clinical and humanitarian work. I guess I could try to add a little flash, but I would much rather keep my statement as grounded as possible

You do realize that the best PS's don't really talk about medicine at all? It's not about that.

 

[sundancing]

You do realize that the best PS's don't really talk about medicine at all? It's not about that.

Like...not AT ALL? I can understand not beating the subject to death, but shouldn't you at least allude to why you would be a good candidate for a career in medicine?

 

[cabinbuilder]

Like...not AT ALL? I can understand not beating the subject to death, but shouldn't you at least allude to why you would be a good candidate for a career in medicine?

A good essay will allude to your character and strengths and how you overcame adversity. Sure you can talk about what sparked your interest, what your goals are for the future, etc. but it should be more about your journey. It's a snapshot of YOU as a person. You are applying to medical school, they know you want to be a doctor, that's why you are applying, right? So fill in the gaps to sell yourself and what is awesome about YOU.