Partner taking credit for my work

[Pandatree2]

I hate complaining or seeking advice or venting about this but I can't keep this inside anymore. My boyfriend whom I've been living with for a few years (3 total yrs together) keeps publically taking credit for my grades I have been getting in school. At first I thought he was just joking especially when I told him I got a 4.0 this semester and wow yay I'm kinda proud of myself!

Here's a little about me just to back track. I left college maybe 5 years ago stopped and have been working full time ever since I am still working but have found the time to go back to school full time as well to finish up my classes and get my premed classes all nice and done. This was my first semester back and I'm sorry but I do feel proud of myself for getting As this semester especially having not been in school for years.

Back to the story,
My boyfriend keeps bringing up the fact that I wouldn't have gotten a 4.0 if it weren't for him. Now he didn't do my tests or my homework or write or assist me with any of my papers. I asked him a few questions in a math class and because of this he feels it is okay to tell all of his family his friends and my friends that he is the reason why I have such high grades.

I decided to sit down with him calmly and tell him how I felt about this and I am sorry but it does hurt my feelings. I take school very seriously and I know I have a long road ahead of me but I made this goal for myself and I accomplished it! I am proud and I shouldn't have to hide it. He said he will not stop taking credit I have along way to go I need to chill out I'm too sensitive and I shouldn't be proud.

I am just numb now and don't really care. I'm gonna do me for me as anyone else should. I guess I just needed to vent. It's my time baby and I'm going to keep getting those 4.0s!

Good luck everyone!!

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[WhtsThFrequency]

He sounds like a self-absorbed ass. And after you sat him down and laid it out for him, he reacted like that?

Yeah. That sounds like a Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $100 to me. Move on. I know it's been a few years, but don't get bogged down in the sunk cost fallacy.

You can do better than someone who thinks so little of you (and is so insecure) that they have to take credit for your accomplishments.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Also

Here's a little about me just to back track. I left college maybe 5 years ago stopped and have been working full time ever since I am still working but have found the time to go back to school full time as well to finish up my classes and get my premed classes all nice and done. This was my first semester back and I'm sorry but I do feel proud of myself for getting As this semester especially having not been in school for years.

You should not be sorry. You should never, ever apologize for feeling pride in your work. As women, we often feel the need to start every positive thing we say about ourselves, or any opinion we have, with "I'm sorry, but...." Especially in matters of achievement, as if we have to have it as a disclaimer.

Stop, stop, stop. Do not be sorry for being proud. Just be proud. You have nothing to apologize for.

 

[Pandatree2]

Also



You should not be sorry. You should never, ever apologize for feeling pride in your work. As women, we often feel the need to start every positive thing we say about ourselves, or any opinion we have, with "I'm sorry, but...." Especially in matters of achievement, as if we have to have it as a disclaimer.

Stop, stop, stop. Do not be sorry for being proud. Just be proud. You have nothing to apologize for.

thank you I know you're right. I hate men that make you self doubt. I have not spoken to him since and I am currently getting things arranged to move on. I don't have time for this. No one should feel belittled. thanks for the talk!

 

[feb14]

Well, you should be proud of yourself of course! but does he really love you? If so, he would be proud of YOU and brag about how a hard working and smart you are. Part of being together is supporting each other, so no need to take credit for what you are doing for him or vice versa!

 

[Kaustikos]

He sounds like a self-absorbed ass. And after you sat him down and laid it out for him, he reacted like that?

Yeah. That sounds like a Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $100 to me. Move on. I know it's been a few years, but don't get bogged down in the sunk cost fallacy.

You can do better than someone who thinks so little of you (and is so insecure) that they have to take credit for your accomplishments.

God you're awesome.
I second this.
As a male perspective, I don't subscribe to that stupidity. He didn't make you who you are. You did. If he's going to do that, things will only get worse in medical school. He'll continuously undermine your achievements and take credit for it. It's not something anyone wants to come home to. When you feel like you've done something great, it doesn't help when the person closest to you tries to steal it from you. It's not an ego thing, it's a pride thing.
Your man has narcissistic personality disorder. Look into it.

Sent from Deadpool with love

 

[Pandatree2]

God you're awesome.
I second this.
As a male perspective, I don't subscribe to that stupidity. He didn't make you who you are. You did. If he's going to do that, things will only get worse in medical school. He'll continuously undermine your achievements and take credit for it. It's not something anyone wants to come home to. When you feel like you've done something great, it doesn't help when the person closest to you tries to steal it from you. It's not an ego thing, it's a pride thing.
Your man has narcissistic personality disorder. Look into it.

Sent from Deadpool with love

yup!!!! I have I just needed to confirm it with someone else loll. glad im not wrong thanks for the advice!

 

[gabem480]

Ditch em he sounds like he doesn't support you at all. From experience toxic relationships can be bad if it affects your schooling. I was in a toxic relationship first time around and it killed my grades as I was always depressed and worrying about the relationship rather than focusing on school.