patients addressing you by your first name

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facets

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How many of you have a problem with patients calling you by your first name? I consider this disrespectful. When I was younger I thought it was my youth but I am now in my fifties and still have patients doing this. I address them as Mr or Mrs but they still call me by my first name, this problem is common especially in my less educated patients. To make matters worse, my friends call me by my middle name. I hate my first name! How can I stop this without sounding paternalistic?
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The only thing you can control is how it affects you. When they call you by your first name, tell em what your friends call you. Just roll with it and realize it is not an expression of disrespect, but one of vulnerability.

I have staff that still struggles with what to call me and I just watch with amusement. This after I told them to call me whatever they want.
 
facets said:
How many of you have a problem with patients calling you by your first name? I consider this disrespectful. When I was younger I thought it was my youth but I am now in my fifties and still have patients doing this. I address them as Mr or Mrs but they still call me by my first name, this problem is common especially in my less educated patients. To make matters worse, my friends call me by my middle name. I hate my first name! How can I stop this without sounding paternalistic?
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Have a nurse mention it to the patient when you are not present and tell them that she overheard them calling you by your first name and that it is inappropriate.

Or get a pair and tell the patient that at office visits you are Dr. Facets, and outside the office you are Joe Facets.
 
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I could personally care less what name patients refer to me as, just as long as they spell the name correctly on the check.

On the other hand, my MAs don't appreciate it and they confront patients when this happens
 
It IS disrespectful and bothers me, too, but I don't say anything about it. One less thing for them to be pissed about...
 
Doctor? Are you kidding me? What's a doctor needed for nowadays anyways?
 
hyperalgesia is correct, that for the vast majority of patients, it is a sign that they feel vulnerable and are looking to seek some sign of control over the situation. in some patients, however, it is a not sign that they feel vulnerable, but that they are seeking to try to dominate you. the vast majority of these cases are from those who are seeking opioids, i find.

usually, i will continue to call them formally, and they will often change to the more formal expression, after they have become comfortable. for those who are attempting to control me - well, once i see them calling me by my first name, it clues me - if they are not vulnerable, they are seeking an agenda, and i am ever more cautious about that (i.e. opioid therapy in particular).
 
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Ducttape said:
hyperalgesia is correct, that for the vast majority of patients, it is a sign that they feel vulnerable and are looking to seek some sign of control over the situation. in some patients, however, it is a not sign that they feel vulnerable, but that they are seeking to try to dominate you. the vast majority of these cases are from those who are seeking opioids, i find.

usually, i will continue to call them formally, and they will often change to the more formal expression, after they have become comfortable. for those who are attempting to control me - well, once i see them calling me by my first name, it clues me - if they are not vulnerable, they are seeking an agenda, and i am ever more cautious about that (i.e. opioid therapy in particular).
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It happens rarely to me as well, I actually find it a more common occurance in the patients from higher socioeconomic status, sort of their way of showing that they are on even footing or something? I introduce myself to all patients as Dr. Frisbee, if they decide to look at the paperwork or my card and call me by my first name it doesn't bother me. I think there are some patients that try the first name bullshi% as sort of a mind game to put them selves in control. The most important situation in all of this, in my opinion, weather it involves your patients or your staff, is that you clearly demonstrate that you are a clinically compentent, highly educated and skilled expert in your particular field. I have a few of my nurses that do call me by first name, but they also respect me the most and take what I say as gospel. I think it is important to establish that you are in control and the captain of the ship, but this is done more by how you carry yourself, your judgements, and skill set than what your patients refer to you as. Not implying this about the OP at all, but my colleagues who get into a tizzy over the whole not be called Dr.Whatever, are usually on the less confident side.
 
when you were a student or resident you always referred to your attending as Dr.
you talk to a judge, 'your honor'
you talk with the police, 'officer'
in the military it's always 'yes sir'
so if you think it has anything to do with confidence, you need your head examined
 
Staff calling you by your first name is one thing.

Patients should be calling you "dr'. You need to maintain the doctor/patient relationship, this is one way of doing it.
 
Interesting discussion.

As a pre med and an aspiring pediatrician, here's my take on titles.

I feel those in the pediatric field tend to be less authoritative and more laid back when it comes to titles. Many go by a first name basis and some even go by an affectionate nickname. When working with children and their parents, I believe that's the best route to go.

However, when working with adults as a physician, professor or mentor, I believe that establishing an alpha wolf role is beneficial for all parties involved. You are able to do your job to a much higher level when you command the respect of your patients, students and staff. In those instances I believe establishing that you are Dr. Lastname is necessary for the patient, student or staff member.

So, that's how I plan to go about it. Nickname with the kids and their parents, Dr. Lastname for adult patients, students and staff.
 
To patients, I always introduce myself as Dr.

Maybe 1% of pts try calling me by my first name and I quickly assure them that this is completely acceptable and move on to business.

Patients have too many insecurities and weaknesses. I have none. I just want to dispense with the irrelevant pleasantries and see if I can help the pt with their pain.
 
I tell them that I didn't go to 8 years of evil medical school to be called Mr Evil
 
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hyperalgesia said:
To patients, I always introduce myself as Dr.

Maybe 1% of pts try calling me by my first name and I quickly assure them that this is completely acceptable and move on to business.

Patients have too many insecurities and weaknesses. I have none. I just want to dispense with the irrelevant pleasantries and see if I can help the pt with their pain.
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I'm beginning to rethink this... not sure where I stand. I look younger that my age, and usually get the comment "you look younger than my kids" from pts. I usually introduce myself by first and last name, not "doctor". That being said, I've never had anyone call me by my first name. Still, that introduction may weaken the professional Dr/pt relationship. Thoughts for us relatively new docs?
 
jonnylingo said:
I'm beginning to rethink this... not sure where I stand. I look younger that my age, and usually get the comment "you look younger than my kids" from pts. I usually introduce myself by first and last name, not "doctor". That being said, I've never had anyone call me by my first name. Still, that introduction may weaken the professional Dr/pt relationship. Thoughts for us relatively new docs?
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"hi, mr.smith? My name is Dr. Xyz, how can I help you"
 
jonnylingo said:
I'm beginning to rethink this... not sure where I stand. I look younger that my age, and usually get the comment "you look younger than my kids" from pts. I usually introduce myself by first and last name, not "doctor". That being said, I've never had anyone call me by my first name. Still, that introduction may weaken the professional Dr/pt relationship. Thoughts for us relatively new docs?
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Jonny-

I've got the same problem you do.

HOwever, what I've been told it's a slippery slope if a 'line' isnt created. That's why I alwys introduce myself as Dr ____. But I dont talk down to my patients and usually have them 'share' in the decision making processes. Something my patients are usually awwd at. They're like, 'doc i'm not used to docs giving me options, they just tell me what to do and I do it'. I think that's the most important thing.
 
I tell them that to call any physician by their first name is disrespectful and if they dont like that, they can leave. Staff are fired if they call me anything other than doctor, although bossman is acceptable.
 
Ligament said:
I tell them that to call any physician by their first name is disrespectful and if they dont like that, they can leave. Staff are fired if they call me anything other than doctor, although bossman is acceptable.
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Is Lord Almighty also acceptable?
 
When I lived in Hawai'i, I would get a LOT of people for whom English was not their mother tongue. As such, especially with the Filipinos, I would say "My name is John Smith. I am the doctor working here in the emergency department this evening", and they would call me, of their own volition, "Dr. John", not "Dr. Smith". That's a respect generally lacking on the mainland in the US these days.
 
Do you guys think that there is a difference due to the physical appearance of the physician? I am not in any way intimidating physically (OK I'm a tiny runt, that's why I have guns) and I have noticed that the same patients who call me by my first name will call a big, burly fellow Dr X. Very annoying. When I was younger I chalked it up to youth, I still look very young (and I'm still a runt) and several of my patients comment "Oh you are the doctor? You look like one of my kids" I don't know why this is bothering me so much, maybe I'm just feeling generally dissed. You know, N.P.s and X ray tech doing surgical procedures, insurance companies calling us providers, and I'm wondering why the hel@ I ever went to medical school and postgraduate training.
 
I refer to all the vets at our clinic as Dr. Lastname

As a patient at MD Anderson I call all my doctors Dr. Lastname even my NF doctor who I have known for 20 years now. I couldn't imagine calling a doctor by their first name. There was a doctor at MDA I had who told everyone to call her Dr. T because her last name was really hard to pronounce. And I know some of the pedi doctors at MDA have the kids call them Dr. First name.
 
facets said:
Do you guys think that there is a difference due to the physical appearance of the physician? I am not in any way intimidating physically (OK I'm a tiny runt, that's why I have guns) and I have noticed that the same patients who call me by my first name will call a big, burly fellow Dr X. Very annoying. When I was younger I chalked it up to youth, I still look very young (and I'm still a runt) and several of my patients comment "Oh you are the doctor? You look like one of my kids" I don't know why this is bothering me so much, maybe I'm just feeling generally dissed. You know, N.P.s and X ray tech doing surgical procedures, insurance companies calling us providers, and I'm wondering why the hel@ I ever went to medical school and postgraduate training.
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I think attire makes a difference. I work at a VA and wear a tie and labcoat. There are some docs that wear scrubs (they don't do interventional procedures) or polo shirts to work.
 
facets said:
Do you guys think that there is a difference due to the physical appearance of the physician? I am not in any way intimidating physically (OK I'm a tiny runt, that's why I have guns) and I have noticed that the same patients who call me by my first name will call a big, burly fellow Dr X. Very annoying. When I was younger I chalked it up to youth, I still look very young (and I'm still a runt) and several of my patients comment "Oh you are the doctor? You look like one of my kids" I don't know why this is bothering me so much, maybe I'm just feeling generally dissed. You know, N.P.s and X ray tech doing surgical procedures, insurance companies calling us providers, and I'm wondering why the hel@ I ever went to medical school and postgraduate training.
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Physical appearance definitely make a difference. I'm a fairly tall guy, about 6'2" and when I was a med student, pts would ask me to tell my nurse (the female attending standing next to me) to be more polite. It was hilarious for me but sucked for them.

Anyway, it's nothing personal. People are like animals, especially when they're sick and feeling vulnerable. They respond to physical attributes and signals. If you wear an impeccable outfit with a white coat and have "DR FACETS, MD" emblazoned on your coat. And you are flanked with staff members, pts will respond to that.

But overall though, I doubt any of us will ever get the kind of respect we probably deserve. Many pts think they are entitled to everything and when they walk into our office they are secretely wondering if "this so-called doctor is going to give me what I deserve". For me, when a pt walks in, I never expect them to give me any kind of validation whatsoever. I expect to try to help them and to get paid for it. and that's it.

I was hoping to get my validation when I get married eventually. But according to you guys that's also a dead end...
 
If a patient asks my first name, I tell them it's Doctor
 
facets said:
How many of you have a problem with patients calling you by your first name? I consider this disrespectful. When I was younger I thought it was my youth but I am now in my fifties and still have patients doing this. I address them as Mr or Mrs but they still call me by my first name, this problem is common especially in my less educated patients. To make matters worse, my friends call me by my middle name. I hate my first name! How can I stop this without sounding paternalistic?
Click to expand...

I find this is rare, but as already stated, it tends to break down into 2 groups: i) the vulnerable peeps, and ii) the rich entitled crowd ( i.e. I drive a 700 series Beemer, rock a
$ 5000 suit so why can't I call this MD joker by his first name ? ).

I find it amusing.
 
I've found the group most likely to call me by my first name are younger males, most often fishing for opioids.
 
Poetic Silence said:
You must be a thrill at parties. 🙄
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Yes indeed. I wear my scrubs and doctor coat to all parties, insisting all party-goers refer to me exclusively by the first name "Doctor!"


nobody gets jokes on the internet... I almost slammed you but realized you were a kid probably studying for organic chemistry or whatever college kids take these days...
 
Jcm800 said:
Yes indeed. I wear my scrubs and doctor coat to all parties, insisting all party-goers refer to me exclusively by the first name "Doctor!"


nobody gets jokes on the internet... I almost slammed you but realized you were a kid probably studying for organic chemistry or whatever college kids take these days...
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Art History and Music Appreciation. 😛
 
PMR 4 MSK said:
I've found the group most likely to call me by my first name are younger males, most often fishing for opioids.
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or disinhibted from a TBI or other psych condition/meds
 
Agree with Ducttape its insecurity or a power play. I've decided the best way to deal with insecurity is put them at ease and let them call me what they want. The best way to deal with power trip is completely be unfazed by their pathetic attempt to strip my power by calling my by my first name. I still control the Rx pad. So I let them call me what they want too, for different reasons.

I don't like it but it seems silly to call them out on it. They know they are being rude, and I certainly didn't introduce myself by my first name when I walked in the room. I also call all my patients by their formal title Mr Dr Professor etc unless they ask me to call them a different name. Only about 1% do. People like feeling respected.
 
Jcm800 said:
If a patient asks my first name, I tell them it's Doctor
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I know you were joking, but I think it's a reasonable answer for douchebag patients.
Vulnerable patients, I let them call me whatever, but if someone is clearly disrespecting me, I think it's fine to call them on it and insist they address you by the title that required a dozen years to earn.
 
bedrock said:
Vulnerable patients, I let them call me whatever, but if someone is clearly disrespecting me, I think it's fine to call them on it and insist they address you by the title that required a dozen years to earn.
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Damn right. Real disrespect means they're out the door.
 
hyperalgesia said:
Damn right. Real disrespect means they're out the door.
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On the flip side of this, how do people feel about addressing patients by their first name at the time of the initial visit ?

I always try to call peeps by their last name (i.e. Mr Jones). However, I sometimes may slip and call a younger pt by their first name. I think I may have been corrected once in my younger years ( the guy was a stuffed shirt type). The one time I was corrected, I do remember being annoyed by it.

Interestingly, when I do it now (which is rare) , I'm not corrected. Perhaps it's because I'm older? I don't know.
 
ghost dog said:
On the flip side of this, how do people feel about addressing patients by their first name at the time of the initial visit ?

I always try to call peeps by their last name (i.e. Mr Jones). However, I sometimes may slip and call a younger pt by their first name. I think I may have been corrected once in my younger years ( the guy was a stuffed shirt type). The one time I was corrected, I do remember being annoyed by it.

Interestingly, when I do it now (which is rare) , I'm not corrected. Perhaps it's because I'm older? I don't know.
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i think its because, like in your sig, you use 2 thumbs up instead of 1. makes you more mature 🙂

(i never call patients by their first name, even when they ask me to.)
 
typically my chronic chiropractice care referral patients will call me by your first name. Maybe the chiro's are more personable than we are...
IN the end it doesn't matter really
 
I support anything that builds pt rapport. If they try to use the privilige in any negative way (more meds, talk too freaking much, etc.) then I'm less friendly and they self correct usually
 
Nowadays, everyone is a Doctor. Nevertheless, I still address all my patients by Mr. or Mrs. so and so; and I expect them to extend me the same courtesy.
 
you would think they would respect your title. some patients are just fearful of the medical profession and may use your first name as some kind of defense mechanism.
 
I call any patient of mine under 25 by their first name, over 25 by their title. Arbitrary cutoff.

If they are 42 and bring their mother with them to the appointment, I call them Junior or Little Jimmy.
 
all of my patients are Mr or Ms --- even if they insist that i call them by their first name

anybody calls me by my first name - gets their f/u scheduled in 18 months...
 
Have any of you had a sane, normal patient try to belittle you intentionally?

Damn this thread got me thinking. I have befriended a respected anesthesiologist in my town , and I see him at the gym. I'm 23 and heis 60, but I swear he's such a cool , vibrant guy. I catch myself calling him by his first name because we are in the gym whenever we see each other. I hope he doesn't feel disrespected. He has the personality that he wouldn't be upset if his patients called him by his first name. Interesting topic, even for a pre med like myself.
 
wjs010 said:
Have any of you had a sane, normal patient try to belittle you intentionally?

Damn this thread got me thinking. I have befriended a respected anesthesiologist in my town , and I see him at the gym. I'm 23 and heis 60, but I swear he's such a cool , vibrant guy. I catch myself calling him by his first name because we are in the gym whenever we see each other. I hope he doesn't feel disrespected. He has the personality that he wouldn't be upset if his patients called him by his first name. Interesting topic, even for a pre med like myself.
Click to expand...


for patients, i usually tend to maintain the Dr.-patient relationship outside of work. i dont like taking care of friends or family.

for residents, i have in the past (when i worked in an academic center) asked them to call me by their first name. for med students, i feel it is more appropriate to be called Dr.

if i were to meet you outside the work environment, like you have with this guy, tho, we would be on first name basis, and id expect you to call me by my first name, esp. when im on the bench press 😉 but at work, it would still be Dr. ...
 
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