Personal Statement Critique Needed!

[doctorinthesky]

Hey all,

I've already submitted my personal statement to my prehealth committee, and I had shown it to a professor and a few other people, and they said the content was okay but it lacked flow, some words were inappropriate etc., so I wanted to make a few edits and really need help with what exactly needs to be improved.
If anyone would be so kind as to help critique my personal statement it would help me a great deal!

PS: I'm an international applicant, 3.93 GPA, 514 MCAT.

Thanks so much!

 

[MilaKunisDoe]

Send it to me

 

[foggedmind]

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[carri55]

.

 

[sharpstickie]

Hit me with your best shot.

 

[mdtree]

You can send it to me

 

[HopefulDoc94]

Sounds like you have people to read it. I'm also available if you need additional input!