personal statement help

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i just had someone tell me my personal statement reeked of insincerity and superfluous language. i dont know what to do 🙁

Get someone else to read it, and ask yourself how you can improve on it.
 
Who did you ask to read it?

Ask for more opinions. Everyone has different ideas of what a good statement is. But it is good they told you, I would rather get honest feedback than yea its great when it isn't.
 
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