Personal statement question about a deceased parent..

[toothsome]

I've been debating on posting this for awhile. So here is goes.

I am currently taking the rest of my classes in a post bacc program and I have about a year untill I apply but I have been thinking about my personal statement lately. My father passed away March of this year, 2 months before my college graduation. It has been a rough 4 years as I have been taking care of him all throughout college as well as highschool (my mother is not in the question she left when my father got sick and lost everything). I would just like some thoughts on would writing my personal statement about my experience be to much, or should I just keep it brief? Im not looking for pity form any of the admissions people and I don't want special treatment that is why I am asking.

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[Revilla]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think that something like that has to have shaped your life, not only academically, but in your personal pursuits as well. It's about adversity and the challenges you faced through undergrad, caring for an ill parent. In my opinion, you should mention it. How could you not? Did you know you wanted to be a doctor before your father got sick? If so, how did his illness reaffirm your decision? What did you learn from it and how will you take those life lessons and apply them to medical school and to the practice of medicine?

You can weave your story into a strong personal statement about your strengths, your motivations, your tenacity, and your vision for the future. It has nothing to do with pity. It's about showing the admissions committee who you are and what experiences have made you that person.

 

[toothsome]

Thanks Revilla. It's hard for me to say I wanted to be a doctor prior to entering college but I always had an interest. My main focus was being able to make money so that it wouldnt be so hard on both of us. So i choose a major I thought would yield the most money. That is one of my biggest regrets in college was not picking a science based major, thus Im having to take classes as a post bac. Maybe it was was a good thing I dunno. I read on this forum alot about the money aspect of being a doctor and trust me this is not my motivation at all. And I will say this in all honesty, I would glady work 80-100 hours a week to help people like other have helped my father and get paid just enough to live on.

I think it hit me my sophmore year that I wanted to be a doctor and help people with a similar condition as my fathers. This is no excuse but i personally think it did reduce my GPA because of the strain I had on me. Now that this has passed I want to prove my full potintial. I worked fulltime most of college because my father was unable to work. I still was able to maintain a decent GPA. I would love to study in the area of Hepatology (liver) as my father died of Cirrhosis. Thanks for your thoughts Revilla.

 

[rugger14]

I agree with Revilla
I wrote my PS and mentioned some things about the death of my mother, but it certainly was not the only thing I wrote about. A good balance of how it has shaped your character along with other experiences would be key. I think it is very important for you to mention the challenges involved in your college career becuase of this unfortunate circumstance. Best og luck to you.

 

[Chocolate Bear]

My condolences. I'm sure you have been deeply affected by your experiences, and it seems you have the motivation and emotional strength to continue pursuing your goals. That's commendable, and I'm confident that you will make an extremely caring and empathetic physician because of what you witnessed your father going through, as well as what you went through, yourself.

I agree with the above advice and would like to add that proofreading will be key. You will need several professionals who are (ideally) unfamiliar with your circumstances, to lend their thoughts/perceptions of your personal statement. There are infinite ways to write a PS, and it's not always clear how others (adcoms) will perceive certain things. A few trustworthy sources to help guide you as you write/revise will help greatly.

 

[toothsome]

Thanks CB. I have a family friend who has known me since I was very young and I shadow him in the OR regularly. He wrote me an amazing LOR for my post bac program and I'm sure he will do the same for whatever school I applied to. I really apperciate the responses. I was unsure about posting because I didnt want it to come off as a pity party. Again, thanks alot!

 

[drillr00]

I am very sorry for your loss. I am in a very similar situation. I took care of both my mother and grandfather in hospice while in school and I understand that it is extremely draining mentally and physically.

I talked to a medical school adviser about our similar situation and she laid down a truthful and direct answer to me. Our losses will not get us into medical school, there will be no pity points on low grades, or hardships, but what will get us into med school is how we turned our experience into a more powerful motivator to do great....to heal others...and to continue on with even more devotion.

It is this experience that is unique to many applicants that we need to talk about and how that loss did not dissuade us from STILL seeking a medical profession despite knowing how close death can be. Death can be shattering to a person's world but the fact that YOU still want to help others says a great deal about your character...and that is what medical schools want to know about.

Once again I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Chocolate Bear]

Don't worry, I think it's obvious that you're genuine and aren't looking for pity. I'd also be hesitant to expose myself in such a way that could be easily misconstrued.

That's great about the letter. However, do you have a proofreader in mind, too? Perhaps an advisor (shudders) or a medical humanities professor? There are also plenty of proofreaders around here who probably have some experience in this area. You need a balance of familiarity with the objectives of a PS, as well as a lack of bias from knowing you and your situation prior to reading it.

 

[punkiedad]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

As others have replied, I am in a somewhat similar situation and have an upcoming interview with my first choice school.

My 5 week old son stopped breathing and I had to perform CPR while my 12 year old called 911 and my wife was distressed. He is doing well now, but was ultimately was diagnosed with a severe case of epilepsy that we are still working through.

Althought I thought of being a doctor growing up, I had a very successful business career until that day changed my life forever. I not only centered my personal statement on how that experience changed me forever, but also live it daily and reflect on the incredible fulfillment I received by helping someone. It is ourexperiences that shape us and ultimately guide us down whichever path we take.

If you are sincere, as you obvioulsy seem to be, just be honest and passionate. It will show. Especially in a DO setting, my feeling is they are more concerned with what makes you tick and what drives you. Don't shy away from expressing how your experiences caring for your father (financial, emotional and physical) helpd clarify what you wanted to do with your life. The very fact that you not only dealt with it, but then embarked on the journey to take the pre reqs and begin a long journey says a lot.

If you have the passion to help people on multiple levels and true passion drives you, you will not only get into med school, but will be agreat doctor....and the money will take care of itself. The financial part is only the end result of doing everything else right.

Did not mean to get too philosophical here, but you can obviously tell where my passion lies......Oh an by the way, take CBs advice and look for a proofreader. My wife is an english teacher and her input was beneficial in cleaning up the language and punctuation, thoughthe passion was all mine.

Once again, I am sorry for your loss and best of luck to you.

 

[Bacchus]

Only write about it if you'll be able to talk about it. I talked about a family member's illness in my personal statement (only 1 sentence) and I have been asked about it several times.

 

[nevinleiby]

OP and others: Sorry for your loss - death is always difficult, especially when it is your parents 🙁

I had a somewhat similar experience, but due to my parents' divorce that went bad...very bad...

For me, it was altogether life altering.

Then my (older) only sibling almost died after a self-injected anesthetic and my was grandmother diagnosed, chemo'ed and died of cancer 12/24. I think that it was my fourth funeral that I arranged in 2 years. Needless to say, I was more or less the glue holding the whole thing (family, family business, etc, etc, etc) together....eep!

I recognize the impact that it had on my life/career and if I describe what happened (which I semi-hinted/semi-blurted out in my PS just to get it on the table) it explains why I had a 3 year gap between my education and a bunch of semi-random looking jobs that were all interwoven. I even put "Co-executor" on my aacomas job experience to describe what exactly I was responsible for (business/accounting/legal-ish aspects). Even in my secondaries, I didn't even describe the whole GM aspect...I just tried to stay on topic as much as possible.

For me, it just gave me more conviction than ever to heal whole person. It demonstrates that immeasurable "character" aspect of medicine, imho

That being said, I have 3.86 comp sci gpa, 3.96 sci post-bacc, and a 9/7P/10 mcat...considering if I retake for MD instead...arg. Why is MD app process so impersonal....=\

Best of luck...hopefully I'll get through my interviews, too =) 👍👍👍

 

[scpod]

First let me offer my condolences for your loss. But, I have to caution you about this. Letters about death are often considered cliche these days because there have been thousands of people in the past who wrote X person died and I went through Y hardships that made me want to become a doctor and save others.

Obviously, if it is truly something that molded your character, then you should include it. But, you've got to have this story well-crafted. Perhaps, you should write it from an unusual angle or make it only a part of it and not the major focus. You really have to avoid making it an emotional appeal.

I hope it doesn't sound insensitive to say it this way, but emotions can often cloud your judgement. You still want to keep in mind the need to make your essay distinctive and recognizable. You have to treat it just like any other essay you write. IOW, it should be a really good and enjoyable read, albeit one that handles a tough subject. A really good essay is like fine literature. Ideally, you should expose it to critics with a literary background.... a couple of your professors perhaps. Then, let some of your peers review it-- especially strangers who can be more objective than friends and family. Incorporate those ideas that look promising and disgard the others.

Remember your personal essay should tell who you are, not what you did. Don't make it a biography, but you can certainly use real-life examples to make your point. Good luck!

 

[Relativity]

I've been debating on posting this for awhile. So here is goes.

I am currently taking the rest of my classes in a post bacc program and I have about a year untill I apply but I have been thinking about my personal statement lately. My father passed away March of this year, 2 months before my college graduation. It has been a rough 4 years as I have been taking care of him all throughout college as well as highschool (my mother is not in the question she left when my father got sick and lost everything). I would just like some thoughts on would writing my personal statement about my experience be to much, or should I just keep it brief? Im not looking for pity form any of the admissions people and I don't want special treatment that is why I am asking.

Thank you for sharing, I know it’s a hard subject. I too lost my father when I was young. It's pretty hard to deal with. It’s a club you never want to join but once you are in it makes you stronger and brings greater connection with people that have lost someone close to them. Losing my father definitely, shaped my thoughts and my motivation on how I wanted to conduct my life. Everybody is right, feeling sorry for you won’t get you into medical school. But your situation does make you unique. Talk about what you learned from the whole experience, how you over came it, and how you are a better person today then tomorrow.

My situation taught me about the preciousness of every moment and how tomorrow is never guaranteed. And as simple as it sounds yet a difficult task in itself, I learned to do things in my life that will bring happiness to me, others, my family, and friends. Being a doctor fulfill one of these duties.

Good Luck, PM me if you need to exchange some ideas.