Havarti666 said:
Thanks for making me shoot beer out my nose. What a waste!
My PS is currently weighing in at a little over a page. I really don't think I can slim it down to a single page, as (on top of the usual stuff) I have this whole Ph.D. before med school to sorta explain. They're just going to have to somehow find the strength to make it through the whole thing.
Well, say what you need to say. Don't leave something important out and regret it. But that being said, don't go overboard. If you have concerns, I would show your statement to an advisor or someone whose opinion you respect.
I always thought it would have been fun to really mess with them. Either by writing my "surgeon's pursennel statemint" as I did above, or by starting my personal statement, "I was born a poor black man" like Steve Martin in The Jerk (Steve Martin is white). Either that, or start my personal statement off with a obviously ludicrous but inflammatory phrase like, "Women should not be doctors" or "The day I married my dog Patches was the greatest day of my life so far," or even "My former porn career prepared me better than anything for a future in medicine."
Other great openers:
"I killed that ninja with my bare hands."
"I refuse to argue with anyone about whether The Karate Kid was the greatest movie of the 20th century."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who have a secret life as a commercial sex worker, and those who want one."
"That aggravated assault conviction was the best thing that ever happened to me."
"I once found a mouse in a box of crackerjacks."
"The voices in my head have told me that I must begin with a story. Thus, I shall:"
"They told me not to ****ing swear on my ****ing personal statement. So I'll try not to."
I kind of like Homer Simpson's college admission essay too, which ended with, "It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever."