Personal Statement: What NOT to do

[thedelicatessen]

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What are some things not to do in writing the personal statement? What are some hackneyed topics to be avoided?

 

[Flopotomist]

One of the biggest no-nos that I see people do on here is to consider the PS as your personal confessional or therapist. The PS is NOT the time to work through your personal problems.

 

[NapeSpikes]

Don't lie. Don't do a rush job.

 

[nycpizza]

Don't beg. Don't make excuses. Don't start out with "ever since I was 2, I have ALWAYS wanted to become a doctor". 😀

Just be yourself!!!! (but not too much)

 

[Zuerst]

I started out with a childhood story/event and progress through my experince starting my freshmen year of college that steered me toward medicine. And I'm thinking of ending the essay with my philosophy of medicine (part of the TMDSAS prompt), what is required, and my past activities/accomplishments that demonstrated these abilities... sounds ok?

Seems a bit bland though...?

 

[willow18]

Don't do the "When I was an EMT/Medic/whatever, I saved a life" bit. Most adcom members have saved 20 for every one of yours.

 

[bikedoc1021]

don't pigeon-hole yourself into a perticular field of medicine you want to go into. both my interviews this year harped on that basically saying "you don't know what you want to do yet, you aren't in med school". basically saying, you aren't smart enough or educated enough to know yet. just a thought.

 

[Pkboi24]

don't pigeon-hole yourself into a perticular field of medicine you want to go into. both my interviews this year harped on that basically saying "you don't know what you want to do yet, you aren't in med school". basically saying, you aren't smart enough or educated enough to know yet. just a thought.

In my statement, I briefly mentioned that I wanted to do primary care. I also said that I wanted to participate in a few medical missions with MSF. Is this bad? I know it sounds naive and contrived, but it's what I really want to do. It's my motivation and I don't want to change it for some other lesser reason.

 

[L8DYV]

One of the biggest no-nos that I see people do on here is to consider the PS as your personal confessional or therapist. The PS is NOT the time to work through your personal problems.

word!

 

[SalseraDoctora]

I think the biggest mistake you could make, other than bad grammar and that sort of thing, is to say something insincere. I really think saying what you mean is the most important part.

 

[DropkickMurphy]

I agree with everything that was said, but would recommend the PKBoi take BikeDoc's advice to not pigeonhole oneself, even if you know for certain you want to go abroad and work with MSF. Saying something to that effect will come across as being trite, conceited and probably won't be taken at face value but rather as the underhanded attempt of a premed to get his foot in the door.

I'm planning on being quite honest that I have wavered several times over the years in my desire to be a physician, but have always come back to it as the only really fulfilling thing I can see myself doing after having worked in several different career fields (health care, radio, the funeral industry, and the military).

 

[Duchess742]

the funeral industry

btw, what is MSF?

 

[DropkickMurphy]

btw, what is MSF?

The French term for "Doctors without Borders". M-something Sans Frontieres......

 

[Zuerst]

btw, what is MSF?

I took a MSF (Motorcycle Safety Foundation) course prior to getting my motorcycle license. 😀

That's probably totally unrelated to that MSF though... 😛

 

[Duchess742]

I took a MSF (Motorcycle Safety Foundation) course prior to getting my motorcycle license. 😀

That's probably totally unrelated to that MSF though... 😛

i dunno...i think motorcycle safety could be worthy of a medical field 😉

 

[DropkickMurphy]

i dunno...i think motorcycle safety could be worthy of a medical field 😉

But then where would we get donor organs?

 

[tacrum43]

Don't do the "When I was an EMT/Medic/whatever, I saved a life" bit. Most adcom members have saved 20 for every one of yours.

I included a story like that in my personal statement, and a couple of my interviewers brought it up in a positive way. They had obviously just read it shortly before I walked in and it provided a good conversation starter. Plus, one told me that I had a very good PS straight out. So I think that while they have certainly done a lot more life saving, they were happy to see my enthusiasm for medicine and helping people come through.

Then again, waitlists all around so who knows? But I really don't think that was because of my PS.

 

[DropkickMurphy]

I included a story like that in my personal statement, and a couple of my interviewers brought it up in a positive way. They had obviously just read it shortly before I walked in and it provided a good conversation starter. Plus, one told me that I had a very good PS straight out. So I think that while they have certainly done a lot more life saving, they were happy to see my enthusiasm for medicine and helping people come through.

Then again, waitlists all around so who knows? But I really don't think that was because of my PS.

I actually thought at one time of taking the opposite approach and talking about losing a friend of mine in a car accident. He coded while I was working on him....as bad as it sounds to use such a horrible event as fodder for a PS, that was a major hurdle I had to overcome (the guilt I felt for his death even though I did everything I could) in order to get back to working in the medical field and I figured it would provide valuable insight into my ability to get past anything that stands in my way.

 

[Pkboi24]

I agree with everything that was said, but would recommend the PKBoi take BikeDoc's advice to not pigeonhole oneself, even if you know for certain you want to go abroad and work with MSF. Saying something to that effect will come across as being trite, conceited and probably won't be taken at face value but rather as the underhanded attempt of a premed to get his foot in the door.

I'm planning on being quite honest that I have wavered several times over the years in my desire to be a physician, but have always come back to it as the only really fulfilling thing I can see myself doing after having worked in several different career fields (health care, radio, the funeral industry, and the military).

What if my EC's can back this up? (look at my mdapp) Surely, they must know that some people who claim to want to do MSF are sincere. I don't want to do it for the majority of my life, just every 5 years or so until I can't anymore. Would this still be consider a ploy to get my foot in the door?

I would appreciate your advice on this DropkickMurphy as you seem to know very well why you want to become a physician, but I'm also aware of your doubts towards international medical aid. If you could offer some unbias advice (if such things exist) I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

 

[riff raff]

Don't talk about your sex life or the fact that you enjoy using recreational drugs on your spare time because they help free your mind. That can be bad if the adcoms read it the wrong way. If you absolutely must include your sex life and use of shrooms in your PS, just be careful with the wording and tone of the essay, that's all. Good luck! 👍

 

[Severus]

I plan on putting in my personal statement that my motivation in pursuing a career in medicine is power, chicks, and money. Oh, yeah, I want to help other people and I'm fascinated by the human body and all that junk. How do you think this will go over? 😕 Too cliche?

 

[GeekDoc]

What are some things not to do in writing the personal statement? What are some hackneyed topics to be avoided?

1. my grandfather was sick from x disease and thats what made me want to become a doctor (or any variation)

2. i was inspired by the tv show Scrubs / E.R / House

3. my dad is a doctor, my grand dad is a doctor, so i must be one

4. ive dreamed of this since i was 4 years old

5. my parents are indian and have forced me into both a career in medicine and marriage soon their after.

6. i was inspired by a drug filled afternoon with my stoner friends who felt it would be "real cool" to "save the world and stuff"

 

[ND2005]

While this is going to sound insensitive, any variation on the

"(relative/close friend) had (debilitating illness) and diead, and it made me realize how much I want to help people"

These kinds of stories are tragic. They are something that stay with you for the rest of your life. But they don't lend themselves well to words (unless you're a phenomenally gifted writer), and what was an incredibly moving event in your life becomes a cliche when written into the PS.

 

[gujuDoc]

1. my grandfather was sick from x disease and thats what made me want to become a doctor (or any variation)

2. i was inspired by the tv show Scrubs / E.R / House

3. my dad is a doctor, my grand dad is a doctor, so i must be one

4. ive dreamed of this since i was 4 years old

5. my parents are indian and have forced me into both a career in medicine and marriage soon their after.

6. i was inspired by a drug filled afternoon with my stoner friends who felt it would be "real cool" to "save the world and stuff"

You are my new hero. No seriously though, that's too funny.

P.S. I have a powerpoint from our USF adcom with Do's and Don'ts. I sent it out via email to a few SDNers some time ago. If any of you still want it, then send me a PM with your email address and I'll send it to you.

 

[gujuDoc]

Oh yeah, and one of the things on that powerpoint was not to start with "I was born and raised in..." or "I immigrated from xyz when I was..."


One more thing........Don't ever ever ever try to put your whole resume on the personal statement.

Only select the 2-3 experiences that you can describe with detail and remember that you have 15 spots to include other activities with details.

Oh and remember that you should try to develop your talents and think about the things that make you stand out and follow some sort of theme throughout the essay.

Also, I wouldn't make it sound like you have an interest in one field only because it might be shooting yourself in the foot.

 

[Dr.Who?]

What if my EC's can back this up? (look at my mdapp) Surely, they must know that some people who claim to want to do MSF are sincere. I don't want to do it for the majority of my life, just every 5 years or so until I can't anymore. Would this still be consider a ploy to get my foot in the door?

I would appreciate your advice on this DropkickMurphy as you seem to know very well why you want to become a physician, but I'm also aware of your doubts towards international medical aid. If you could offer some unbias advice (if such things exist) I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

If doing MSF is something you really want to incorporate in your career and you have proof why, i say put it in. I did. My statement incorporated international travels and this was also brought up in the interview, to the effect of "what about all the poor people in the US?" So if you make your claim, make sure to think about what interviewers could challenge about it...dang devils advocate. It's ok though...know yourself very well, stick to your passions, and you'll to fine...

 

[GeekDoc]

Other words of advice;

Don't make it overly intense.

Don't make it a sob story.

Keep in mind yours will probably be at the bottom of a pile of 3000, and so write it in a way that holds a persons attention

Keep it light!

If you're have a sense of humor, use it if you think it'll help - I did.

Note - this does not mean you should start your essay with "A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar..."

Be original, but not "too original"

Don't be appologetic. If you screwed up, you did and learned from your mistake.

If you want to briefly mention a weakness to show how you overcame it, make sure it's a petty weakness. "I used to be scared of minorities" is not a weakness that you should mention nor is "I used to be a total slut in freshman year and now Im fairly good"

Don't make excuses, if you have a crappy year, briefly explain why, without beating someone over the head with your reason. "I was drunk" is not a reason.

Dont double space after the end of each sentance.

Learn what "Economy of words" means

Don't pad your essay with big words

Don't be grandiose.

Stay away from phrases like "I want to help people" or any variation of the said statement

Nobody likes a showoff, except now - sell yourself, but don't be tacky about it.

Spelling and grammar errors = kiss your application goodbye.

 

[DrWorkNeverDone]

I had a question about the family illness. What if you are using that as your reasoning for troubles in school? My father has manic depression and can do some crazy things sometimes that takes me away from school...Should I put this? I also have had a bad past year because of deaths in the family, never really had to deal with my spouse before or myself with deaths during school time. Therefore, grades dropped. I don't want it to come off as an excuse, but obviously I had to take time out throughout my college career for family...How do you incorporate all this without it coming off bad?

Stupid question: do we have people to read personal statements? If so I wouldn't mind getting some advice, I am not applying till June 2007 but have been working on it here and there. Anyone? Thanks

 

[zimmie256]

I had a question about the family illness. What if you are using that as your reasoning for troubles in school? My father has manic depression and can do some crazy things sometimes that takes me away from school...Should I put this? I also have had a bad past year because of deaths in the family, never really had to deal with my spouse before or myself with deaths during school time. Therefore, grades dropped. I don't want it to come off as an excuse, but obviously I had to take time out throughout my college career for family...How do you incorporate all this without it coming off bad?

Stupid question: do we have people to read personal statements? If so I wouldn't mind getting some advice, I am not applying till June 2007 but have been working on it here and there. Anyone? Thanks

There are lots of people offering advice on personal statements. http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=264193

 

[GeekDoc]

I had a question about the family illness. What if you are using that as your reasoning for troubles in school? My father has manic depression and can do some crazy things sometimes that takes me away from school...Should I put this? I also have had a bad past year because of deaths in the family, never really had to deal with my spouse before or myself with deaths during school time. Therefore, grades dropped. I don't want it to come off as an excuse, but obviously I had to take time out throughout my college career for family...How do you incorporate all this without it coming off bad?

Stupid question: do we have people to read personal statements? If so I wouldn't mind getting some advice, I am not applying till June 2007 but have been working on it here and there. Anyone? Thanks

As long as it doesnt come across as an excuse. i.e "Im honestly really smart, but because such-and-such I did bad."

I guess it has a lot to do with the style you take when you write the PS.

 

[signomi]

What if my EC's can back this up? (look at my mdapp) Surely, they must know that some people who claim to want to do MSF are sincere. I don't want to do it for the majority of my life, just every 5 years or so until I can't anymore. Would this still be consider a ploy to get my foot in the door?

You need to realize that MSF is MANY years down the road for you. You have to do 4 years of medical school and then 3-5 years of residency before you will have the skills they need. Even then, they prefer doctors with experience practicing in their fields. MSF can afford to pre-screen for only the most qualified candidates. Plus, you need to remember that if you are deeply in debt from school loans/car debt/mortgage/etc MSF looks at that as a negative for you, because who is going to pay your bills for you while you have no income?
Bottom line is: there are a lot of obstacles before MSF is a reality, so to talk about it now is a bit presumptuous.

I had a question about the family illness. What if you are using that as your reasoning for troubles in school? My father has manic depression and can do some crazy things sometimes that takes me away from school...Should I put this? I also have had a bad past year because of deaths in the family, never really had to deal with my spouse before or myself with deaths during school time. Therefore, grades dropped. I don't want it to come off as an excuse, but obviously I had to take time out throughout my college career for family...How do you incorporate all this without it coming off bad?

You need to remember that the adcom could view this as a reason NOT to take you. What if it keeps happening while you are in medical school? The school doesn't want to have to deal with that if they can help it. Also, no matter how immoral you may think it, some adcom members may consider you high-risk to develop mental health issues yourself. In an ideal world no one would judge you based on your father's illness, but we don't live in that world.

 

[Doctor~Detroit]

here's the opening anecdote of my essay, where i discuss both helping to save a life and overcoming a weakness. are there any grammatical errors i should flag?

"The man in front of me had no choice but to deliver a fatal shock to himself, and hope that his female companion of love could then revive him. This happened a couple weeks ago in an alley dental clinic in China, in a room crowded with about 100 people. The shock was necessary because the man had a device implanted in his brain that would shortly explode and kill him for good. This was the moment I knew I had to be a doctor. As the man shocked himself into a code and the woman began to work on him, everyone else in the room just sat in their seats and stared. I, on the other hand, felt this urge to help out in some way. I felt this urge setting me apart from the other folks in the room that day, and I still have strong feelings of how much more I want to help others compared to the average person. As the woman started CPR, I scooted to the edge of my seat and uttered "come on, lady." I was a true cheerleader of life. The woman quickly scanned the office while doing CPR, and came across something that appeared to be a crash cart. Just as I was about to cry out "look in the cart," the woman started the man's heart back up using CPR! I hung around while they made out, but she never thanked me for my assistance. It was then that I had to overcome a personal obstacle, and realize that saving lives is often a thankless task and so the most heartfelt thanks to myself should come from myself. At the end of the day, it's not so much about the patients in front of you, but how they let yourself make you feel for yourself. Unlike other applicants who have greedy needs for even more rewards, the financial rewards medicine offers is thanks enough for me.

Really, since I was nine I knew that I would one day thanklessly save lives as a pathologist, and CSI has since confirmed that . . . "

oh crap! i forgot to put two spaces after periods!

 

[DropkickMurphy]

What if my EC's can back this up? (look at my mdapp) Surely, they must know that some people who claim to want to do MSF are sincere. I don't want to do it for the majority of my life, just every 5 years or so until I can't anymore. Would this still be consider a ploy to get my foot in the door?

I would appreciate your advice on this DropkickMurphy as you seem to know very well why you want to become a physician, but I'm also aware of your doubts towards international medical aid. If you could offer some unbias advice (if such things exist) I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

If you have the EC's to back it up, then go for it. When you get accepted (and I have no doubt you will), then I will shake your hand and buy you a beer.

 

[DrWorkNeverDone]

There are lots of people offering advice on personal statements. http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=264193

thank you very much! could you possibly PM me the website? Also, how many words for the PS? I need to add this past year to my PS before having anyone read over it. thanks again!

 

[Doctor~Detroit]

Also, how many words for the PS?

5300 characters, including spaces

 

[Callogician]

1) Ridiculous megalomaniacal claims about how you will go to the top in medicine.

2) Arrogant claims that medicine is somehow more important to society than other fields.

 

[GeekDoc]

here's the opening anecdote of my essay, where i discuss both helping to save a life and overcoming a weakness. are there any grammatical errors i should flag?

"The man in front of me had no choice but to deliver a fatal shock to himself, and hope that his female companion of love could then revive him. This happened a couple weeks ago in an alley dental clinic in China, in a room crowded with about 100 people. The shock was necessary because the man had a device implanted in his brain that would shortly explode and kill him for good. This was the moment I knew I had to be a doctor. As the man shocked himself into a code and the woman began to work on him, everyone else in the room just sat in their seats and stared. I, on the other hand, felt this urge to help out in some way. I felt this urge setting me apart from the other folks in the room that day, and I still have strong feelings of how much more I want to help others compared to the average person. As the woman started CPR, I scooted to the edge of my seat and uttered "come on, lady." I was a true cheerleader of life. The woman quickly scanned the office while doing CPR, and came across something that appeared to be a crash cart. Just as I was about to cry out "look in the cart," the woman started the man's heart back up using CPR! I hung around while they made out, but she never thanked me for my assistance. It was then that I had to overcome a personal obstacle, and realize that saving lives is often a thankless task and so the most heartfelt thanks to myself should come from myself. At the end of the day, it's not so much about the patients in front of you, but how they let yourself make you feel for yourself. Unlike other applicants who have greedy needs for even more rewards, the financial rewards medicine offers is thanks enough for me.

Really, since I was nine I knew that I would one day thanklessly save lives as a pathologist, and CSI has since confirmed that . . . "

oh crap! i forgot to put two spaces after periods!

I hate Tom Cruise.

 

[joueaupluie]

oh crap! i forgot to put two spaces after periods!

No worries, you don't need two spaces.

 

[Will Ferrell]

I hate Tom Cruise.

Come on, Tom Cruise isn't that bad! I know people knock him all the time, but doesn't he have the right to be a little eccentric.... he is TOM CRUISE!?!

 

[GeekDoc]

Come on, Tom Cruise isn't that bad! I know people knock him all the time, but doesn't he have the right to be a little eccentric.... he is TOM CRUISE!?!

Everytime I see him, i think of THIS!

 

[notdeadyet]

Don't do the "When I was an EMT/Medic/whatever, I saved a life" bit. Most adcom members have saved 20 for every one of yours.

There is a genre known as the Sirens Screaming in the Night amongst essays. Avoid it. If you have an interesting story about your EMT days, go for it, but don't try to do the 'No $hit, there I was' approach. It's been done to death.

 

[signomi]

1) Do not write a paragraph about how much you hate your current job and your current colleagues.

2) Do not write about how you are so much more awesome than every other applicant (read: arrogant).

3) Do not write about how you skinned your knee when you were 3/4/5 and the awesome power of medicine (read: a freaking band-aid) made you want to be a doctor. You were 3/4/5! All you were thinking about then was mommy and candy and learning not to wet yourself.

4) Do not start your essay with the statement, "I will never be a doctor."

5) Do not talk about how your mother/father/uncle/goat was a doctor and was the most important doctor ever and he/she/it saved the world and now you want to be a doctor. It sounds like you want to be important.

6) It cannot be stated enough: Do NOT use the phrase "I want to help people."

7) Do not include a paragraph detailing what a doctor should be. We all know that a doctor should be caring/compassionate/intelligent/etc. Why are you telling the adcom this?

8) Do not include racial/ethnic slurs, even in context. "Korean alcoholics" and "coked up gramma" were two of my favorites.

9) If you are recounting a medical story, make sure your ignorance/naivete doesn't show...make sure you have the medical facts straight! I have seen several with inaccurate medical information in them.

10) Leave out the drama and unnecessary "quotes" you clearly just made up.

11) Sweet weeping Jesus I can't believe I have to say this: Do not quote socialites.


😉 You know I love you!

 

[Sol Rosenberg]

1) Do not write a paragraph about how much you hate your current job and your current colleagues.

Just curious about why you think this. For a career changer, don't you think that it is important to tell a bit about why one wants to change their career from <whatever> to medicine.

I realize that I didn't say exactly what you said above, but the fact is that I don't like my current career and think that medicine is a career that is better suited for me (and, that was going to be a theme, if not THE theme of my PS)

Jota

 

[kevster2001]

Just curious about why you think this. For a career changer, don't you think that it is important to tell a bit about why one wants to change their career from <whatever> to medicine.

I realize that I didn't say exactly what you said above, but the fact is that I don't like my current career and think that medicine is a career that is better suited for me (and, that was going to be a theme, if not THE theme of my PS)

Jota

It all depends on your wording. You should say that medicine is more suited for you but shouldn't say you despise your current occupation. Essentially you dont want to make it look like you're running away from your current job.

 

[signomi]

I have read several where it was an angry diatribe, not a reasoned discussion of why it wasn't the perfect career for the person. Insulting colleagues/management/the entire career field is not a good thing.

 

[mchou]

I have read several where it was an angry diatribe, not a reasoned discussion of why it wasn't the perfect career for the person. Insulting colleagues/management/the entire career field is not a good thing.

wow.

Also don't philosophize it. (is philosophize really a word?)

I don't think it sounds good to say anything too formal like "And thus, my realization of my desire to ascend into the field of medicne was crystallized"

 

[vtucci]

Don't use your PS as a social policy statement-- you can discuss working with underserved communities through examples in your ECs etc. and stories in your PS. This is not a cry for legislation.

 

[Depakote]

DO try to work in some Ninjas.

The people reading these things usually have had a long day, they could use an action-packed thrill-ride.

 

[Dov]

If you decide to use medical/scientific terminology MAKE SURE WHAT YOU SAY IS CORRECT. I mixed up melanin for melatonin in mine. Although it ended up working out for me in the end, I think a lot of schools denied me an interview partly due to this error. PROOF READ A LOT because once its submitted... it's in.

 

[Schaden Freud]

Don't use the phrase "I want to pursue medicine because clearly I am not much of a writer."