Personal Statment Editor Needed

[Doghead]

I am in need of another set of eyes to edit my Personal Statement, a much needed favor. I am very open to criticism and sincerely appreciate any help provided. If you are interested in helping, please message me your contact information so that I may send you my draft.

Things I'm having trouble with:
- It needs to be slightly shorter
- I feel as though it's so general, as though I'm not saying anything.
- Trying to convey that I have demonstrated maturation and self-discipline.

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[ToKingdomCome]

I'd be happy to help. PM me

 

[DocWinter]

Same, pm if you like

 

[EgyptKing21]

You can PM me as well.